Tag: Blogs

Super Power Day – HAWMC Day 3

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness6 Comments

If you had a super power what would it be?

Hummm, that’s kind of a no brainer.  I’m chronically ill, I know a lot of people who are chronically ill….I think I’d have to say a healer.

So I decided to take this a bit further.  I’m a bit of a cartoon buff.  Of course, when I started thinking about super powers I started thinking about cartoon characters.  My husband and I started talking about it, and I told him I thought I’d like to be Katara, from The Last Air Bender (please note, I am only referencing the animated series, I have not seen the movie.).  I’m also an environmentalist, and believe the earth has to be in harmony.

This animated series brings all of this together.  The world is divided into 4 nations representing the 4 elements, Earth, Air, Water, and Fire.  I’m not going to go into the plot of the show, just explain the power I’d like to have.  There are some people from each nation with “bending” skills.  It combines martial art skills with controlling specific elements.  Each nation’s bending ability would have it’s own martial arts style, and ability.

Katara is from a Water tribe.  She can bend water.  It is a beautiful thing to see.  The flow of her body as the water follows her movements, she can make it whip, and encase someone, and freeze you in place, and she can use it to heal.

Katara is strong and has a pure heart she fights for what she believes is right no matter what the cost.  She gets so angry sometimes, but it’s because she feels so deeply.  When the show first started she had a lot of growing to do, but by the end, she had grown into a fine young woman, and an exceptional water bender.  She can take the water and mix it with the water in your body and heal you, it may take some time, but it can often be done.   I would be proud to be like Katara.  (but I wouldn’t want to live at the South Pole, good thing she travels a lot.)

The video below is a tribute to Katara, it’s set to music so if you don’t have sound, don’t worry you aren’t missing dialogue.  You will see how passionate she is, the amazing fighting skills, and notice when she takes the drops of water out of the vial around her neck and places it on the boy’s back, she is healing him after he was nearly killed in a battle.  Amazing powers….actually, I think they are only slightly a gift, then they are a skill.  If you do not have a good teacher, and practice, this gift will not turn out to be the power Katara has made of hers.  Another reason I would like this type of power.  I have learned that an ability you have fought to achieve is much more appreciated.

Inspiration Quotation “I Believe In You.” – HAWMC Day 2

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness9 Comments
graphic by w. holcombe 2012

I hear many quotes that I get inspiration from.  The one I’m continually inspired from is one I heard over and over again from my mother, “I Believe In You.”  After she died, it was a long time before I heard those words again.  Now, I’m so grateful to once again hear the same words over and over from my husband.

Those 4 words resonate through my very soul.

“I Believe In You”

Because of these words,

I was the first person in my family to graduate college.

I had the courage to seek help for a mental illness (Bipolar Disorder) that was tearing me apart.

I had the courage to become an artist and show my artwork in a gallery and have a one person show.

I have had the courage to face my chronic illnesses as they have been diagnosed, including Meniere’s disease a vestibular disorder with sudden vertigo and  hearing loss, and most recently Intracranial Hypertension a disorder of the brain causing high cerebrospinal fluid.  (please know these are very simple explanations of each of these disorders)

I have the courage to face each day as it comes, make the most of each good moment, and realize that at the end of my days I will look back and all these moments will have added up to be a pretty good life.

“I Believe In You.”

Everyone faces their own battles, we all need someone to believe in us.

Who do you believe in?

Have you told them?

Make sure to let them know.

When you are facing a hardship, fighting a battle in your life, it’s easy to give up when you don’t think anyone believes in you.  When you have someone pulling for you, someone who believes in you, it’s much harder to give up.  Courage comes from belief.  Belief in yourself, for some belief in a higher being,  but sometimes, we need a little help from someone else.  We need to feel a human touch, someone who can reach out and say…”I Believe In You.”

My wish…Go out today, and tell someone special you believe in them!

I used to be….. WHBC Day 1

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness8 Comments

This is the first post in WEGO’s Health Bloggers Post every day for a Month Challenge.

This is from one of the Extra Prompts they sent out. A Poem…

I used to be…..but I’m not any more.

I used to be an artist who painted large paintings, but I not any more.

I used to be a hearing person, but I’m not any more.

I used to be in less pain, but I’m not any more.

I used to be steady on my feet, but I’m not any more

I used to be active and social, but I’m not any more.

I used to be a thinner, but I’m not any more.

I used to be less understanding, but I’m not any more.

I used to be unaware, but I’m not any more.

I used to be less loving of myself, but I’m not any more.

I used to be full of other expectations, but I’m not any more.

I used to be less accepting, but I’m not any more.

I used to be alone, but I’m not any more.

I used to be sad about losing my old life, but I’m not any more.

There are some things I miss about what I used to be, but I like myself more now.  I’ve learned so much about me.  I’ve learned so much about life.

My illnesses may have caused some things to not be as I expected them to be, so why not simply change those expectations…or get rid of them.  Live day-to-day.  Moment to moment.  Soon you will look back and all those happy moments, will become happy days and the happy days will have added up to a happy lifetime.

Every day you possibly can, do something fun, be happy!!

I used to sad about being sick, but I’m not any more.   (well, most of the time.)

Live Happy.

Such a Tight Group – I’ve noticed 2 AWOL

On By WendyIn Life18 Comments

We are such a tight group, it’s so comforting to me, and sometimes so heart wrenching.

I may not know my on line friends in person, but I feel their pain just as much as I would if they were standing right here with me.  If they have a set back, I feel it.  If they have a loss, I feel it.  In the same way, if they have a milestone, I’m feeling their joy, if they learn something new I’m so very thrilled.  I share in their pain, their joys, and all the things in between.

I also worry when they disappear.

I had an email friend simply disappear for months.  Where did she go?  Was she Okay?  Turns out, yes.  Just busy and lost track of me.  That’s alright.  I’m just grateful she’s alright.

Now I’m VERY concerned.  TWO of my regular blogging friends have been AWOL since the 18th and 19th.  Where could they be. Both of these women normally post almost every day, if they don’t post, they comment on someone’s blog.  I haven’t noticed any action from either.  These women both have some serious medical conditions that could cause them to have to be hospitalized at a moment’s notice.  However, I’m just a blogging friend.  What can I do?  I’ve emailed both.  One I also messaged on Facebook, and messaged her husband on Facebook.  I have both of their home addresses, and considered calling the police to see if they could just drop by to check on them, but they don’t live alone, I know they would have been cared of if something happened.  The best scenario.  Computer crash!  I don’t have phone numbers.  I’ve never thought to ask, heck, I don’t want to seem like an on-line stalker.  And I’m VERY hard of hearing, what do I need someone’s phone number for?  I feel very helpless at this moment.

Most everyone who reads this blog knows Judith of Creativity to the Max – if you have heard from her, please let me know.  I’m worried about our tribal leader.

You may also have heard me talk about Fiona of The Angoaraphobic’s Blog – she has been pretty sick lately.  And from what I can see hasn’t been on line or on Facebook since the 19th.  She isn’t usually out of contact with me this long, especially since my new diagnosis.  I did just message her husband on Facebook, so I’m hoping he will let me know what’s going on.  She’s in Australia, and Judith’s on the opposite side of the country from me, it’s not like I can just jump in the car and go check on them

So everyone please, put your feelers out, if you have heard anything.  Let me know.

You know how this child worries, and stress is not good for me!

Yes, it’s still my blog here….it has many personalities…or something. Plus update on symptoms, and Spring.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness8 Comments

You may read my blog from your email, and haven’t even seen it….but if you have, you may have said…”she’s at it again!”

and yes I am….I just didn’t like it.  Too busy, and I didn’t like the page color.

So many things I can’t change on Word Press.

And I don’t have Photoshop right now, I’ve been trying to use Gimp…but I’m so lost with that program it were a real book I would have torn it to shreds by now.  Ugh!!!

This looks like me, trying to use Gimp.
(image source free clip art.)

I miss Photoshop, I need to buy it, but I need to buy a teacher or student version…I really can’t afford the off the rack price.  whew.  That’s like the difference between designer clothes and thrift store, for the same goods!  I just don’t get it!

So for now I wait.

Did you know on WordPress you have Pay to change the CSS on your blog?  You have to pay to change your font….yes thank you can get around that one by writing in Word then copying over, but not all fonts copy over right.  And I’m lazy.  I’m just shocked at all the things that are now considered “upgrades” that used to be free.  I know this is a commerce driven world, but it makes me sad when you start with something because it offers certain features free, then it changes.  And I’m sorry, I’m not paying $30 a year to be able to customize my blog.  Heck I can’t even do it, I’d have to get my hubby or my friend Vincent to do it.  And I’d only do it about once a year, tops. If I found the perfect look, I’d probably change very few things ever again!

OK….So, I hope you won’t think ill of me during this transition time.  I like the retro look.  I’m going to try to put little ants in the header, and that will probably be it for a while.  If I can get that done.

Symptom Update: My headaches, had decreased, but recently every time I go to sleep when I wake up I have a blinding headache, like a white light pierces my brain, the intensity doesn’t last for long…but the headache doesn’t go less than a category 6.  So I’m a bit icky most of the day.  But it’s better than it was!

Visual problems are better.  The one that has really stuck around is the…oh I don’t know how to describe it…not only can I not see white on black very well, the white looks gray, but black doesn’t look black-black.  It has this variable tone.  Everything looks a little off in tonal values.  Which is very odd for me.  But I can still tell what color is what, I’m not color blind!!  Yay!  I just can’t tell if they have white  or black added to them.

Very tired.  But not sure if it’s the disorder or the meds, both can cause it.

The Meniere’s has been staying away.  I think the surgery in December worked for that.  The hearing in my left ear, is still gone.  Right is more sloshy.  Had that hearing aid adjusted and I keep asking Stuart, “what’s that noise?”  and telling him to stop yelling at me.  Funny huh?  Now, which will come first, the cochlear implant of the shunt?  Each are inevitable, it’s just which one makes its requirement known first.  Of course, the shunt could be much more important for health reasons, but who knows how long the medication may work.  So much to consider, so much out of my hands.  (don’t you hate that?)

That’s all for today.  Hope everyone is enjoying the First Day of Spring.  (I don’t feel like we had a Winter.)  Everything is blooming at once, my allergies have gone mad!!

I should be saving these for next month.  : )

Calling all Health Activist — Write For a Month Challenge by WEGO Health!!!

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness2 Comments

I’m joining the challenge!  Am I crazy?  Well yes, we’ve already established that fact.  I do have a verified mental illness, and now I have been diagnosed with a brain disorder so you, my friend, are absolutely right when you say, “She is insane if she thinks she can pull this off!”

May we take wagers?   Who out there thinks I can do it?  Who would dare to take that bet? hummmmm?  Well, I will.  I will take you on!  WEGO gives you 2 days that you can miss.  I vow to post no less than 28 days in April!  I’ve already read the prompts, we don’t have to follow them, but some are really good…so you may be seeing a new side of writing from Wendy.

Now for you who want to wager against me……just remember all the things I’ve over come.  And also think…It’s March 19th, and she’s already started writing next month’s posts.  Maybe you should rethink that bet.  *wink*

So here’s the official call to arms…or should I say to computers, laptops, ipads…oh what ever you use these days!

Hey everyone – I just wanted to tell you about a new activity I’ll be doing this April. The Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge hosted by WEGO Health. I will be writing a post a day for all 30 days. I hope you’ll join me in writing every day about health. It’s going to be a lot of fun and I’d love to see what you have to say about each of the topics, too. All you have to do to join is sign up here: http://info.wegohealth.com/HAWMC2012 and you’ll be able to start posting once April rolls around. Looking forward to writing with you!

You can really tell I didn’t write that huh?

I will be writing a lot more about this new diagnosis of course, and just what it’s like to live with a disability.  If I think of it, and it I feel it needs to be said, you know it’s going to be regurgitated here.  (lovely picture huh?)

If you are a health blogger, jump on in.  Give it a try.  Some of my days may just be a photo and a quote, but as long as it’s appropriate, that’s alright.  We can do it, get the word out, we have chronic illnesses and don’t want to be invisible any more!!

Awards – Versatile Blogger Award (again) and the Sunshine Award.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness3 Comments

Recently, there have been a few fellow bloggers who felt I deserved an award, or two…

unfortunately, I have been remiss at acknowledging the compliment. Please do not think the honor has been felt any less deeply.  I simply have not had the time nor the stamina to do the honors justice.

Today I attempt to do so.

Each time someone feels that my blog touches them in some small way, and they pass an award my way, I get a tingle from my head to my toes, and a little tear in my eye.  Needless to say, I am touched very deeply.

Each award deserves an individual post, but I’m going to cheat a little and combine 2 in this post.  I hope they will not feel slighted, and you will not feel overwhelmed.

First an award I have received before – The Versatile Blogger Award.  On December 23, 2011, I posted about Mo from Day by Day with Addison girl honoring me with the Versatile Blogger Award, today I write to THANK the Bipolar Muse, and Fiona from The Agoraphobic Blog.  I’m honored these lovely ladies also felt that I deserved this award.  I must be a very Versatile Chick huh?  *giggle*  I hope no one minds, but since I followed all the ruled the first time, let’s say it covered all of the awards..please.  You see, I’m really not that interesting.  Plus, how much about me do you not already know.  Really??

So on to the next award.  The Sunshine Award.  Again, I’d like to say, I am very humbled and honored to receive an award.  To know my words have touched another.  Why else do we make our blogs public?  Fortunately the Bipolar Muse had been recognized a lot the past few months, and she has shared her honors with many of the bloggers who have touched her.  Thank you once again Bipolar Muse for thinking of me!!

Now for the duties for this award:

First step:
Thank the person that nominated you and in my case this is Bipolar Muse.  Done.  But I would like to say, her poetry is like silk that often slips through my fingers only to wrap around me in soft coolness to comfort me.  Sometimes, unsettling, but always honest.  Thinking of her, I came to the realization that Tears are the Elixir of the Muses.

Second step:
Share some tidbits about yourself….that you don’t know…ooooo, hard one…

Favorite color:
First thought YELLOW!  But I do like other colors, but yellow makes me happy.  I smile whenever I see it.  It is the happiest of all colors for me, and I appreciate, many, many colors!!

Favorite animal:
My animals.  Sandy Dog and Max the Cat.

Favorite number:
ummmm, 2 I think….or 7….I like the shape of those numbers, they are close to the same….and my birthday is 7 – 2

Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink:
Water – then, Mandarin Orange Iced Tea Unsweetened.  It would only be better if I could get it without caffeine.

Facebook or Twitter:
A little Facebook, and even less Twitter, I’m not into social media.  Too sterile for me.

My Passion:
Hubby, Helping, Furry babies, in a way my blog – which leads back to helping….getting better…staying positive…learning more….LIFE

Favorite day of the week:
Any day I get to spend the whole day with my hubby.  No work, no chores for him.  Just us.  Not thinking about what needs to be done, or me being sick.

Favorite Flower:
Daisies, Sun Flowers, Black Eyed Susie’s,  Gerber Daisies, and Calla Lillie’s like I carried at my wedding.

I will pass the Sunshine Award on to the following blogs:

There are so many deserving blogs….those who put Sunshine in my Life!!  I decided to choose a few people who have really reached out to me lately since I have gotten this new diagnosis, (don’t think I have felt slighted by anyone, these people have made me laugh)  And one person who probably has no idea I exist.  I often miss her post because for some reason I can’t get WP to email updates to me, but she is special, and she is inspiring, and you should check her out!!  Especially if you have Meniere’s or hearing loss.

In no particular order:

Sunshine and Chaos  (she has sunshine in the name,  she had to get the award!)

Hearing Elmo (this woman is amazing! check out her blog. she has a Meniere’s, a cochlear implant, and a service dog…and the best attitude ever!)

The Agoraphobic Blog (Fiona will share tissue needed emails with me, and turn around and we’ll share silly poop songs!  And she just got MARRIED!  Thank you for the Shaky Dance.)

It has taken me at least 3 days to get this post together.  Please, no tears.  People keep telling me that my posts are making them cry.  Please do not cry.  We never know what is going to happen.  How things will end up.  I’m sure that I will be able to get through this.  I’m a pretty strong person, and I pretty darn resourceful.  Plus I have one more Award to talk about.

Don’t let this get you down.  Remember I have a great team of doctors.  Had the nerves checked in my eyes checked on Friday all is looking fine.  No damage.  We upped the medication. Today is a rough day, but the weather changed, and it’s hormone time….so it could just be normal migraines.  It just hurts, that’s what I know.  : )

Docs are learning a lot from me.  Who knows, they may be able to save someone else from going though so many tests and maybe they can find a new treatment because of me.  maybe, just maybe.  That would be nice.  I’ll be fine.  Yes, things will be different, but I will adapt, that’s what humans do.

*smile*

So, Don’t cry for me….and you have no idea how much I want to say “Argentina……  hahahaha

We’ll talk more later.

Chrome and my WordPress blog are getting a divorce…or at least a separation.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness14 Comments

**Warning before this is started….I am going to rant…most of it’s just me….some of it may be the fact that they changed my meds and I’ve been up and down A LOT for 2 days (6 vertigo attacks yesterday – much better today)  so, sit back and enjoy the ride…or just switch it off…or laugh at me…preferably all but turning me off!*

For some reason, a few weeks ago…or more, my blog has not been playing nice.  At least not when I was using Chrome.  I tried all the tricks I was advised to do…all about cookies and cacheing…and stuff…yes I will admit it I’m a  bit of a nerd but I am in no way a techie.  Well these things didn’t work.  So, Stuart and a techie reader (please feel free to take credit if you wish, I didn’t want to “out” you if you didn’t want me to), suggested I try to post from a different browser (yes, at first I looked a little dumb founded, but I’m blaming that on the medication, because I did figure that one out.  It did take a moment because Stuart said, try posting from IE….I said, “what?  You know I hate acronyms!” ‘Unless I make them up.” OK, he did have to tell me that IE is Internet Explorer…how dumb….wasn’t there some old sci-fi movie called something like that? – no that was AI – I was close. )   OK….I tried posting in Internet Explorer since it was already on my new computer.  Guess what, it worked just fine.  Well that just ticked me off.  Everything I do is Google based.  OH…then it hit me…almost everything I do is Google based!

Suddenly I felt that Big Brother had taken hold of me and I hadn’t noticed it.  Even my new phone is an Android….please can someone teach me how to use this darn thing?  I can’t even get it to sync with my Google Calendar!  Or do coupons!  Why else would I buy a phone?  I don’t talk on the phone!  I CAN’T talk on the phone!  I should get some use out of it!!  But that is another rant for another day.

Suddenly I was afraid that my readers who run Chrome weren’t able to see my blog correctly.  So I grabbed Stuart’s computer and went to my blog as if I was just a lurker, and no troubles.  Yay!  At least all you Chrome users who are reading my blog shouldn’t be having any troubles.

Another suggestion from a techie reader, try using Firefox to run my blog through.  So I am.  Right now.

Look, I can add tabs!  I can search! I can add photos!  I can do all kinds of things that I couldn’t do before.

I wrote WordPress, I didn’t get a reply…not even a reply saying, we’re sorry but the volume of email that we get means it will take a long time before we get back to you..or something like that.

Nothing.  I kind of understood..after all, I have a free account.  But for some reason I have a feeling if I had a paying account I wouldn’t have gotten much better service.  A week or so after the first email I went back to support to see if anyone else had reported a problem and to try to write them again.  I got a message that said, WordPress Support is closed until March 6th.  No reason, nothing.  Just try the forums.  It was at least a week before the 6th at the time, so I kind of wonder if I had a paid account would they have a special support team for me?  I don’t want to talk WordPress down.  They do a good job for a free service, and I personally know no one who has the paid version…or if I do we haven’t spoken of it.  I’d just like to know if they give more customer service to their paid accounts.

So for now…my WordPress Blog and Chrome will be parting company.

Firefox will be my browser for now.  I used to use Firefox all the time, then hubby suggested I use Chrome and so I did, now we’re both talking about going back to Mozilla…Firefox.

I may even put it on my phone.  However, I think my Smart Phone is smarter than me.

photo from http://www.techturning.in/2012_01_01_archive.html

 

I have much to post about.  More about my new diagnosis, my feelings, my crazy head…and just weird things about all of this.  Plus, I’ve received a couple of awards from some very generous bloggers!!!  I really need to take time to post an acknowledgement and pass them on.

I apologize if it takes me a little longer.  I’m still not feeling well.  I feel better for a little while, then awful for a while….then back again….it’s a crap shoot.  I’m trying to read as many blogs and emails as I can, and comment on some, but on any nice days where I feel nice, I’ve been taking advantage and getting out of the house, even if it’s just for 3o minutes.  But sometimes, that’s the only 3o minutes I have in a day.  (I used all my spoons)

Hope you are having a nice beginning to March!  I’m hoping to get a few little seedlings started soon…I wish I had already.  I want to at least have my herb garden again!  And the wild flowers. (maybe smaller ones this year.)

Love and Light to all!!  I do have much to talk about.  I hope we can all get a great discussion going about how we handle things when we think we’ve gotten everything handled and accepted, then something new happens.  I’m trying, but this is a rough one.

We’ll talk about it tomorrow if I can.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again…what a difference a day can make.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness6 Comments

Today was a breath-taking beautiful day.  The sun was shining, it was in the 80’s F….yes the 80’s on the first day of March!  A good friend of mine just got married!  I’m so very thrilled for her, you may remember me passing along the candle lighter award to her….Congratulations Fiona and Jeremy…I adore you!

I slept longer than I have in a long time, I woke up with a minimal headache (my normal every day type of headache).  I was still seeing double but it didn’t seem to last as long.  I lounged in bed for a while with the window open and enjoyed my breakfast.  Then I read a bit on the computer and decided to get dressed for the day.  We were refinancing out house to a better rate, and we had to sign all the papers at the lawyer’s today, so I had places to go.  I decided to start getting ready very early.  About 2 1/2 hours early.  Just in case.  I wanted to do a little then rest, do a little more, rest…eat lunch….rest….you get the idea.

You would be so proud of me…I know I was.  Darn I should have gotten a picture!!  I French braided my hair.  I’ve never been able to do that!  It has always turned out lopsided or with straggling hairs, but usually it is a “Dutch” braid.  A French braid lies flat against your head the Dutch braid is kind of backward, it looks like a braid stuck to your head….it sticks out.  It’s kind of neat, but not what I wanted.  And…imagine this, I did it on the FIRST try!!

I tried on a few things to wear, but the one’s that I don’t look like a blimp in were too hot, I admit I was getting sad and upset.  Then I thought of a white tank top with an orange cap sleeved sweater over it that has one button around the abdomen that makes me look much thinner.  I actually put on makeup!!  I got ready, got dressed, and got down stairs….all by myself.  I was beaming with pride.

Stuart and I decided if I felt well enough after our visit to the lawyer we would have a date night and go to Fishmonger’s.   I LOVE crab legs.  I know he just got them for me on Valentine’s day…but it was so nice to have a date night with my hubby.  In a restaurant right across the street from where we met.

Fishmonger’s is one of those little seafood restaurants that make you feel like you are on the Carolina Coast.

This is the type of tables they have there.

I am having a very hard time with my hearing.  Stuart needs to step up his ASL practice.  On average I have to ask someone to repeat themselves at least 3 times, and after that I just drop it.  It’s too embarrassing.  And it’s usually just some small talk.  I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it here, and I’m too tired to look back and finish this so I’ll give you the short version.  Saw Audiologist on Monday.  She thinks I’ll need a cochlear implant soon but the requirements change with insurance companies.  We have new insurance starting this months.  (they are going to love this) The first question Stuart is going to call and ask is what

their criteria is for covering a cochlear implant? The surgery cost between $30,000 and $100,000 and our out-of-pocket will be $150 Yay!!!

So I may have told you…forgive me.

So while we were out, it came time for my medication. All of a sudden I had a sharp pain in my head, I asked what time it was, exactly time for my medication! I asked if we happened to remember….ooops, nope. So I was 2 hours late taking it. By the time I got home, I was not able to walk unaided, I was slurring my words, I had to really concentrate to understand things…..it’s kind of funny, in a way I feel like I’ve taken some drug…like a downer or something. But it’s all being caused because I missed my medication. Ahhhh!

Right now I’m running a fever again. Every night, only at night. Strange huh? I take some Tylenol it goes away.

I still have a lot fo figure out with all of this, and it will take some time. It is apparent that I’m getting better with the side effects and I’ll probably get even better when I get some potassium (Diamox is known to deplete potassium.) I have been trying to eat a banana a day, but it’s hard when that’s the cap on the amount of fruit I can eat in one day. So we went to buy some and the store was out. How rude!

I’ve been watching these cooking shows and now I’m just dying to cook. But I need to be more steady on my feet for that. Perhaps I see some slow cooker meals in the future. (much less dangerous, I can just instruct Stuart.) I bought some herbs recently, and got a free ounce of Saffron….oh….what will I do with this delectable spice?

Also, if you have never heard of or tried Pot Herb – it is a mixture of Chives, Chervil, Parsley, Thyme, Marjoram, and Bay leaves. This was delectable in Chicken Soup..and just on chicken….I can imagine so many things to do with this blend…why have I never heard of this french blend of spices before?

So…

What a difference a day can make. Do I feel this much better from all the well wishes? The joyous feelings I have for my friend? The fact that the Topamax was uped? The beautiful weather (you know I got to take the top off!!), or have I once again, simply decided enough. I can’t stand to live with you like that! Get up! Pick yourself up…even if you need help, and find something that satisfies you. even something small…and build it up again.

That’s why I say those silly expectations I had for this life…they must be fluid now, and change as I do.

Thank you all for believing in me.

 

 

Candle Lighter Award

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness7 Comments

Weeks ago Phylor honored me with the Candle Lighter Award.  I am honored Phylor chose me as a recipient of this award.  To say that I am a candle in her life who helps to light the way…this brings tears to my eyes.  How could anyone wish to be more?  I hope I can live up to this honor and light a candle in the darkness to help light a few paths along the way.

Kate Kresse, of Belive Anyway, originated the Candle Lighter Award to: . . . “light a candle in the darkness that envelopes us all at times. I want to lighten loads and light the way. I gravitate towards positive people and positive blogs. I want to start a blog award that reflects my love for the positive in the blogosphere.”

Kate asks little of the winner – to link back to her comments when the blog has been posted, and to, of course, if you choose, to pass the award along to anyone you feel deserves it. You can award it as many times as you like, all that Kate asks is that you link your post back to her site.

I pass this award on for the same reasons Kate started the award.  She stated, “I think people that are going through the efforts to be positive and make the world better through their efforts and blogs deserve to be recognized. I am always looking for encouragement and ‘light’.”

I have so many people who have been a light for me.  I wish I could honor each one with this award, but there are simply too many to list, at this time I do not have the energy to properly acknowledge you all.   I’ve decided to limit it to 2 recipients.  Two very special women whom I feel do not get the recognition they deserve.  Two women who have been through torment and trials and come out with a positive can-do attitude that lights the way for many others.

The First person I’d like to recognize is Fiona of The Agoraphobic Blog.  

Fiona had a horrific experience that brought about severe panic disorder with agoraphobia (according to Pub Med Health Panic disorder with agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which there are repeated attacks of intense fear and anxiety, and a fear of being in places where escape might be difficult, or where help might not be available.)

Fiona, is an amazing young woman.  She is working so hard to overcome these intense fears.  I feel such inspiration when I read her posts, hearing how she made it out and about one day.  Even on her bad days, with severe migraines or a panic attack, you can still hear her positive attitude and hope.

Said said in one post, “So yes, I have agoraphobia and Panic Disorder, but it definitely does not define who I am, I have never become depressed about it, I have got frustrated a few many times and had a huge cry, got it out of my system, and then moved on again.  This is my life, I am happy with it, it sure could be a hell of a lot easier, but who has the perfect life anyway? everyone’s life is hard at some point, mine just happens to be hard to do simple things, but I AM OKAY WITH THAT!”

In another post she said something that really stuck with me.”bad days are ALWAYS followed by good ones and I always remember that and keep it in mind.”

Thank you Fiona, for not only lighting the path for others with panic disorder and agoraphobia, but for anyone who needs inspiration!

The second person I’d like to pass this award to is Kelly from Fly with Hope.

Kelly states “I became disabled in October 2005 by my Chronic Migraines and Chronic Daily Headache (more specifically New Persistent Daily Headache). I have had frequent headaches and Fibromyalgia since I was a teenager. In addition to Migraines, headaches and Fibromylagia, I have Meniere’s disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anxiety, Tachycardia and Food & Environmental Allergies.”  To understand some of the battles she goes through read one of her most recent posts…Joy in Prison.

On her blog she shares her ” journey of learning how to manage chronic illness and hold onto Hope.”  Kelly is very involved in advocating for herself and others who have chronic illnesses.  She reaches out to people and shares this profound Hope, and deep spirituality that she has.

Her light shines through her, with every word that she writes.  She has personally been a great inspiration for me and a light to help guide my way thorough a lot of pain.

To carry on the Hope, Kelly recently started Project Migraine Hope.  Please go and check out this amazing project Kelly started where people can post videos telling their experiences with migraines and how they have found hope.  If you have migraines, or are a caregiver or loved one of someone who does, please consider telling your story.If you haven’t done so already, Please, Please for all of us who suffer from migraines and those who care for us  sign the petition that the Alliance for Headache Disorders Advocacy started to Urge Congressional Hearings on the Impact of Migraine and Headache Disorders.  This is very important to all of us who have migraines and a project Kelly has been working very hard on.With the excruciating pain that Kelly lives with daily, she still has Hope, still finds a way to be a health activist, and finds the time to reach out to others sharing her light and sharing Hope.

Again, I’d like to say that there are MANY people who have helped light my way, and given me hope.  MANY who still do each and every day.  Please know how much I appreciate you all.

I chose these two very special women because of the horrors they have been through, and are still going though, yet they still find a way to be positive and share their light with others.