Today has been just a bad day, an emotionally turbulent day.
I’m afraid to go to sleep.
Reading hasn’t been helping.
Are you ever afraid to sleep?
I’m afraid he’ll be back. That security guard looming over my bed, saying things I can’t understand. His face contorted into hatred. It was obvious he didn’t believe me when I said I’m deaf, but I couldn’t hear him. I found out later he said “You we’re just talking with them!”
Does me talking mean I understand their words? Does me saying “I Do Not Understand” , mean I can hear? I could see their actions, I commented on them, does that mean I heard them?
No! No it does not!
For a while after I got home I had nightmares. I was afraid to sleep. Today my emotions were in a bad place. I feel useless.
A vestibular migraine looming over me for a month, makes things worse.
I’m causing more issues for Stuart.
I’m overwhelmed with guilt. I’m hurt I’m sad.
I’ve been pushing it down, but tonight it’s back I’m afraid
Are you ever afraid to sleep?
I’m 59 years old and I hurt all the time For 30 days I’ve had vertigo every day. I’m losing muscle tone My thighs seem weak. If I’m like this at 59, how will I be at 69? 79? Do I even want to know?
Each night I make plans for the next day, it all rarely happens.
I’m tired.
My quality of life stinks. It has for a very long time.
I’m so very grateful for my amazing support I’m privileged. So why am I so sad? So mad!? So scared… all the time.
Are you ever afraid your life will never get better?
Are you ever afraid?
Do I deserve to be treated the way I was at the hospital?
I’m afraid.
Please don’t say I need to do more about this. I don’t have the energy, and I don’t know their names. An official complaint has been made. My only goal is to help prevent this happening to someone else.
Often a person with a chronic illness goes from doctor to doctor searching for answers, help, validation. We are often simply looking to be heard. We are often dismissed, and made to feel no one will ever truly listen, and hopefully help.
On July 27th I saw the PA from my doctor’s office. She was giving me nerve blocks for my migraines. She went over everything beforehand and asked ME where I thought the blocks would help the most. She also examined me and found some very tight muscles, so she gave me blocks there too. I was so impressed. She took her time, and really listened. I did not feel rushed at all, yet they are always on time for my appointment.
I now have a Botox treatment set up, and my next nerve blocks scheduled.
My insurance still hasn’t approved my inpatient stay. Hopefully it will be soon. Of course all my appointments may need to be shuffled if I get approval. They call and say, “can you come now?”. We’re 2.5 – 3 hours away, with pets, it’s hard to drop everything and get going. Luckily we found another pet sitter and our dog really likes her! She doesn’t like anyone (except my sister, but she 3000 miles away),we are so relieved. It really makes things easier.
We spent the night in Phoenix and were able to spend time with Dad’s (Stuart’s father’s) cousin. She is such a doll. She’s visiting her best friend since grade school, amazing right?!, she lives near Phoenix so it was easy to squeeze in a visit while we were there.. Both of those women are amazing people. I so enjoy every visit we have with them.
UPDATE!
Found out day before yesterday that insurance approved the ketamine treatment on the 18th of last month! They simply didn’t tell anyone! How can insurance companies get away with this? They did send us a letter saying they had approved a treatment, but didn’t say what it was. We thought it was for the nerve blocks. When the hospital asked them to fax the approval, they sent the letter they sent to us! What the heck? At least they found that it had a code on it so they understood it.
Stuart has been playing phone tag with the hospital because he got a message that I need a blood test and EKG. I didn’t’ last time, I think they did it when I got there. Still waiting to find out what that’s about, and if I need it beforehand, where do I get it? I really don’t want to go to Phoenix for it.
I also hurt my hip, the one that was replaced 7 years ago, I was very afraid that it would interfere with my trip to the hospital since I move a lot during the treatment. I know wouldn’t be able to be mindful of how I’m moving my hip during it, but suddenly it seems to be much better. Night before last I moved a certain way and my hip popped, it was very intense pain that caused a very sharp pain down my leg, today I’m moving better and feeling little to no pain from my hip. hmmm, could that pop have been a good thing? I’m just thrilled I don’t feel I need to see an orthopedist before going inpatient for the ketamine treatment.
ANOTHER UPATED
Well if I’d actually publish this post I wouldn’t keep getting new things pop up….but then again, probably not.
I am going to Barrow on Wednesday, August 10th, to get the EKG and blood work. Yes this is a new requirement…who knows why. We’re hoping I can be admitted the next day so we can just spend the night in Phoenix and not have to return to Tucson. Cross fingers and toes.
Now I’m going to actually close this post and publish it.
I’m in a lot of pain right now despite taking meds, but they are making me sleepy so I think a nap my be in my immediate future.
I’m going inpatient to have ketamine treatment for my refractory chronic migraine in the near future, just waiting on insurance approval. It takes longer for me to get approval because I have two insurances. (private from hubby’s work and Medicare). Luckily after approval this hospital trip shouldn’t cost much if anything. I’m so very lucky to have this, it breaks my hears so many do not have insurance, it is inexcusable for people in this country to go without needed healthcare. But that is not what I’m here for today.
You can read about Ketamine use for refractory migraine in this Healthline article.. and here is a post written by a person who had Ketamine treatment for her refractory chronic migraine. Headache Camp 2. It’s a very good read.
I don’t really have much more to say right now. Head is pounding and I need to rest my eyes.
As soon as I get my treatment I’ll write more about it.
Please know you are all in my heart, even if I’m not in contact as much as I’d like.
We had a beautiful sunset recently, this is the view from my house. Too bad there’s power lines in there, but the cactus silhouettes sure are pretty
I’m shocked that it’s been so long since I wrote an update on me. The last month, or more has been stressful to say the least.
I just looked back at my last few posts and it looks like I have a lot to catch up on, forgive me if I really have said some of this. I wish I’d written it all before, I like to keep up with things and this is one of the best ways I have of documenting things. So, here goes…
I went to Barrow Headache Clinic in Phoenix, and I really like the doctors there. I saw a neurologist who isn’t part of the actual headache clinic, this was the best way to be seen sooner, the wait to see one of the doctors in the headache clinic was much longer. However, the doctor I did see has been working with the doctors who specialize in headaches. I’ve actually had 3 doctors working on my case. When I had the appointment I didn’t feel rushed at all. I felt like I was respected, that they understood that I’m very knowledgeable about headache disorders (mine in particular) and they trusted me when I told them what I had tried and what didn’t work. They are working hard to help, but they aren’t doing in-patient treatment right now because of the increase in Covid cases. That’s hard. However, they are trying new medications, have changed up some that I was already on (increased some doses, changed forms of some…) So far, I’m very impressed. The only thing I’ve had a hard time with was that I had a hard time getting the patient portal to work, and no one could seem to figure out why. I’d get in, but it had no record of me being seen there, no record of upcoming appointment, no way to message my provider…nothing. Finally it is fixed, that’s making things much easier.
They ordered a Tilt Table Test to see if I’m having blood pressure problems when i stand, or if I have POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). It did show that my BP is dropping significantly when I stand. (Orthostatic hypotension — also called postural hypotension) It doesn’t appear that I have POTS, if so it’s mild. As you may recall I have been having some pretty high spikes in my BP, which caused a Branch Retinal Vein Occlusion in my left eye, it seems I’ll never recover all of my eyesight in that eye. It’s not bad, but the lower part of my vision is very blurry, it makes it hard to read and to see things clearly on my left side. It may get better, it probably won’t. The last time I went to the retina specialist (about a month ago) it showed that it had bled again, that’s why my vision was a bit worse. I got another shot in my eye, and i go back to him next week. (It was supposed to be a couple of weeks ago, but I had a Meniere’s Flare that lasted over a month). He told me that the reason it bled again is because I had another spike in my BP since the last time I saw him. So, what do we do about my BP. I’m on BP meds for hypertension, which may be causing my BP dropping problems, but it might not. I see my PCP in a week or so to discuss this, I really hope we can figure something out. I’m tired of feeling faint when I stand, my vision blacking and the pain in my head spiking when I squat down and get back up. It’s difficult, if this is contributing to my pain, this needs to change.
I do have hope, but I’m very tired.
The Meniere’s flare really did a number on me. My ENT put me on steroids to break it but it seems to make it worse. It also caused me to be ravenous, emotional, paranoid, restless….it was hard. I looked over my journal entries during that time and they are dark, and very sad.
I’m having wide spread pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago, but after I made a lot of diet changed, it seemed to calm down a lot. I’d only have short-lived flares. But lately, it hasn’t stopped for quite some time. My body hurts.
I’m very tired. Exhausted.
Stuart is starting a new job next week. It is only paritally remote, he will have to go in to the office some. That makes me nervous. I’m okay, trying not to worry about the future, sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don’t. Of course the Meniere’s flare showed me the worst that could happen. I had severe disequilibrium and minor vertigo for so long. I couldn’t even walk by myself. My walker was of no use, I was way too off balance and would just tumble over. S even had to help me to the bathroom. I didn’t realize how often I pee! I met with a couple of my neighbors and asked if they knew of anyone who might be able to helpo me when S has to work in the office, taking me to some appointments, perhaps coming to help if I’m too off balance…anything that comes up. Both immediately said they were very willing to help. one can’t drive me to appointment right now (she’s having some trouble with her back and it’s causes neuropathy in her feet, hopefully that won’t last), the other is more than willing when she can. She’s a bit busy so I need to make plans as far in advance as I can. I really hope this works. I’m so amazed how the people in this neighborhood have embraced me. I’m sad I haven’t had the opportunity to meet more of them, but Covid got in the way. I can’t believe we are going on 2 years of this. I don’t think it will ever go away, but I sure hope we can deal with it better/easier in the not to distant future.
Another big stressor, my therapist is retiring. At first I thought it was no big deal. I was okay with everything. Now, not so much. I’ve been very anxious. And I realized just how much I am going to miss her. When I first moved here I knew no one, she was my only real contact with people other than S’s family. That’s not good. So she didn’t just feel like my therapist, she feels like a friend. I’m really going to miss her. It makes me cry just thinking about it. This week I met with a therapist who may be my new therapist, I believe in meeting at least 3 times before deciding that, but I felt very comfortable with her, I think it might be a good fit. She even said that my old therapist could join us in a session to help with the transition. I decided that would be too hard on me trying to hear them both, so they are just going to talk so my old therapist can give her an idea of who I am. My present therapist told me, “I’ll tell you everything we talk about” She is so supportive of me. She’s always telling me how special I am, how se admires how I handle things, how strong I am….I don’t think I come across that way to many other people, I’m glad someone does. I do try so very hard.
Well, I’m getting very emotional so I don’t think I can continue right now.
And I haven’t read it over for errors, I’m sure you’ll understand and it will give you an insight as to how I think I guess.
I don’t even know where I left off so I’m just going to ramble a bit. I guess I’m too lazy to read my last post, or just not in a good frame of mind lately.
A lot has been going on. I had an injection (epidural) in my neck to help the disc bulge on February 22nd, and lately it seems to be wearing off. I’ll be getting a second injection on the 22nd of this month. They say it can take a couple of injections to get the full effect when you first start getting them, so hopefully this one will last a long time. I’m just concerned because they don’t normally give more than 3 injections a year, what if this one wears off in just a couple of months? Even if they would give me more injections, I’m not sure that’s wise considering I had Avascular Necrosis (AVN) in my left hip causing a total hip replacement, which they believe was caused by steroid use. Trying hard not to think about all of that, just take it one day at a time, but wouldn’t it be irresponsible of me not to at least be concerned about this? When I talk to my doctor he just said that it’s always more of a chance once you’ve had AVN, but it’s the only thing they can do to relieve the pain right now. Later, if it gets worse, they can do surgery, but who wants to have surgery on their neck? That’s pretty darn scary to me. But I will NOT think about that! That really is getting worked up about what might never happen. Of course, I was getting upset about the whole injection thing, so I guess I really should just take it as it comes, and not get worried about things that may never happen.
I was about to tell you how happy I was about something that caused me to look at the calendar to check the date….Wow! It’s been a long time since I posted! It’s been a bit busy here. Anyway, my happiness… I had a Vyepti infusion on the 16th of March, it was my first infusion at the higher dose. Afterward, I had NO migraines on the 18th, 19th, 20th, and 21st!! After a YEAR of migraine pain, I had FOUR days without one!! I was so happy and so hopeful. even after a bad on the 22nd, I was still hopeful that I’d have migraine free days once again. That hasn’t happened. Since then I’ve had 8 days where my migraine made it impossible for me to do anything except curl in a dark room. The rest of the days I’ve still had migraines but I was able to do something, even if just a little.
I’ve been feeling so disheartened. It looks like the PT didn’t help the pain at all, only with the injection have I been able to get relief from the horrible nerve pain. It did however, improve my range of motion and strength. So I’ll continue my exercises and hope for the best. I had a little break in my migraines, but it was very short lived. My mood has fluctuated from happy, to anger, to sadness…
courtesy of Headspace
Then last night I saw in an article on Migraine Strong that a new neuromodulationdevice for migraines has been approved by the FDA. I already have the Cefaly and the Nerivio and bot word to some degree. The Cefaly is the best for me. It stimulates the supraorbital branch of the transgemial nerve. The Nerivio stimulates nerves in the arm that makes your brain focus on it and off the migraine pain, it’s kind of interesting. The Nervio works for me only if I use it at the very beginning of a migraine, when you are intractable it’s impossible to catch it at the Start of a migraine.
This gives me hope. Hope that I might get some relief. However, since it isn’t on the market yet they don’t know how much it will cost or if it will be covered by insurance. Since I’m on Medicare, if they have a discount I won’t be eligible. That’s very unfortunate. I did just find out that if you are on Medicare you should reach out to the manufacturer to see if they will offer you a discount. We’ll see if I can get it. crossing fingers. If not, I guess it wasn’t for me.
I’ve been looking at a headache clinic in Phoenix, but I don’t see where they offer more than I’ve already tried. I honestly don’t know what to do or, where to go for help. Would Mayo offer more? I just don’t know. I have an appointment with a new headache doctor, but the first appointment she had for new patients is in November! It’s really crazy how in demand headache specialist are, and how few there are. I just read in Practical Neurology “If all patients with migraine were cared for by a UCNS board-certified headache specialist, each would see approximately 78,000 patients per year”. UNCS is the United Council for Neurologic Specialities. Personally, don’t actually think that all patients with migraine need to see a specialist, however if you do not respond to typical treatments you do need to see one. That can be very difficult. The average neurologist receives just 4 hours of training on headache disorders. There are about 500 headache specialist in the US. Migraine affects 1 in 7 people world wide. It’s just crazy that we don’t have more doctors who specialize in it. Tucson has 2, one is certified by UCNS, the other is certified by the Certificate of Added Qualifications (CAQ). The later is who I’ve been seeing, the former is who I have an appointment with in November. I’m very lucky that I have access to a headache specialist at all, there are some states that have none!
I’m so grateful for all the new medications and new neuromodulation devices that have come out for migraine. It’s amazing really since there is so little money allocated to migraine research. There is so much they do not know.
On a good note, I got my first vaccine shot, and get the second on Saturday! Woot! I’ll still wear a mask and be careful, but I might actually go out some.
I plan to have a give away soon. I received a lot of things from the Retreat Migraine conference (virtual), and I can’t use all of it. Stuart also got a goodie box since he attended too, so I have some of that to give away too. I just want to give back to you, after all the support you’ve given me over the years.
I’m thinking of starting Mindfulness Monday again. I’d like your input if you’d like that or not?
When last we spoke I was hurting too much to type. I’m happy to say that I can type again! I’m not sure I have too much to say, but at least I can type. I’m going to try to be brief here, just letting you guys know that I’m okay, and I’ll try to post more often.
For the past few months I’ve been consumed by the nerve pain going down my arms and bursting out of my hands. The pain also traveled down my back, in between my shoulder blades. I’ve had a lot of pain in my life, but this nerve pain has, by far, been the worst. I believe in accepting what comes and being okay with it. Everything changes, you just need to go with it. This pain I could not accept, and that hurt me as a person. I couldn’t accept what was happening to me, the pain was just too great. I have a much deeper understanding of what severe pain can do to you. I saw what it was doing to me, and I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t change it. How can anyone accept feeling like their hands are on fire from the inside out, every morning! I would scream with pain. I made bargains, if it would just stop I promised I’d be a better person…ect. I have never wished to die so often, and I’m not depressed. Can you imagine how messed up I’d be if I was going through this with depression? I can’t even imagine.
I was in physical therapy in January, and it seemed to be working, then I had a set back and we kind of started over. Then I felt like I was getting better, then I hit a wall and crashed. Every time we tried adding any strength training all my symptoms would return. It has been hell so far this year….but it’s getting better.
Last Monday I finally got an epidural in my neck and trigger point injections through my trapezius on both sides. I cannot express enough how this has changed my life! I’m no longer afraid to go to sleep for fear of what will happen when I wake up. I’m sleeping more than 4 hours a night. I actually slept for 10 hours one day this week! I think I’m still catching up on sleep.
Migraines are still here. Both my physical therapist and my pain management doctor think that my migraines may be so much worse because of my neck. The last two days I’ve had a very intense migraine. That’s really hard when you don’t have a rescue med that works and Medicare won’t pay for the only one that does. I don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on medication each month. So I’ll live with the pain, for now. The pain changes from day to day, hour to hour, it’s often just in the background, but when it climbs too high, I really notice. But that’s the thing, yes I’m in pain all the time, but it is constantly changing, that gives me hope. Everything changes.
Okay that’s it for today. I promise I’ll try to be back soon. I have lots of migraine stuff I want to share with you all.
As much as I love most things about the holidays, the stress is not one of them, and oh, how stressful they can be. This year, it’s different.
Having multiple chronic illnesses that have kind of ravaged me lately, I’m thankful this year the holidays mean no stress…or as little as can be.
There’s one person (or maybe two) that I always have to see during the holidays that I’d prefer not to spend time with. This year is different, I don’t have to. When we were asked what the plans were for the holidays, it was nice to say that we are isolating. (With the number of COVID cases rising each day, why would anyone risk getting together? I don’t get it. I’d rather have my loved ones alive and well so we can get together when it’s safe.)
I don’t have to get upset if I’m not invited to parties.
On the other side, when I am invited to a party, I don’t have to worry I won’t be able to go, or might get sick while I’m there.
I don’t have to decorate my house for drop in guests.
I don’t have to feel bad when I can’t host a dinner…no matter how much I’d like to.
This year it will be quiet. I still feel like I need to make nice meals, and cookies, and…. But I don’t have to, and if I don’t, no one will know.
I can just sit back and watch Christmas shows on TV, sing carols out of tune, and eat Chinese take-out if I want.
Okay, the first two, yeah, that will get done, but the Chinese take-out might not. We’ll probably have Dad over for a social distance meal on Christmas, but who knows. Maybe not. It’s a no stress holiday after all.
Remember, we aren’t STUCK at home, we are SAFE at home….and so are our loved ones.
I know my last post was a bit bleak, but things are getting better, I think.
I still have this dang migraine with no relief in sight, but I haven’t given up hope. My useless stay in the hospital and the indifference my migraine doctor showed about the akathisia has lit a fire under me to find a new headache specialist, which is much harder than you might think.
Luckily the medication that my PCP sent and the medication that my psychiatrist gave me have mostly taken away the akathisia. I still feel a bit antsy and my anxiety is higher, but I don’t HAVE to move all the time. I’m amazed the akathisia was so bad and has lasted so long from 3 doses of Compazine, I’m so grateful for my PCP and psychiatrist for helping me. My PCP even offered to call my migraine doctor to stress how important this was. My migraine doctor did call, after I sent a message to her about how unacceptable it was that she hadn’t gotten in touch with me. When she called she had to talk to Stuart, of course, and said she was out the office on Monday (in my message I told her that another doctor in her practice should have been covering her for her if she was out of the office. I also told her how my other doctors had helped), and said he had been researching how to help. Really? When Stuart first called her we gave her the name of one of the drugs that help with akathisia, so she already had that information. I got it after a quick Google search. It sure didn’t take me THREE days to get it.
Now I have to not only search for a new headache specialist, but I also have to look for a new PCP because mine is moving next month. Hopefully, this will be an easy process, and I’ll find some great doctors. I know finding a new headache specialist is going to be hard, there are only around 500 in the country. I don’t like the idea of having to travel 100+miles to see a doctor, but I may have no choice.
One thing that came from this, I’m really proud of how I advocated for myself while I was in the hospital and for messaging my doctor about how unacceptable her actions (or inactions) were. Since I lost my hearing it has been very hard for me to do that, but I made sure in the hospital when a nurse and tech ignored the fact that I have hearing loss, that they understood what they were doing wrong. Hopefully they will change their actions in the future.
One of the medications my doctors gave me for the akathisia makes me so stupid. I am forgetting everything! I can’t remember what I was talking about in the middle of talking! Right in the middle of a sentence I’ll look at Stuart and say, “What was I talking about?” It has been very confusing, luckily it will go away once I’m off the medication. I cut it down from 2 pills a day to 1 a day since my symptoms are so much better, and the confusion is much better all ready.
I don’t remember what else I was going to write, so I’ll close for now.
How is everyone holding up? Have you known anyone personally who has been infected with COVID-19? Do you happen to know a good headache specialist in Tucson? hahaha
Another day, another migraine day. It’s the way it’s been for over 6 months now, and it’s been getting worse. How does 6 months of migraine get worse? The severity has been worse….much worse.
The new way to log your migraines now is with the “traffic light” system. With a GREEN migraine, yes you have pain and symptoms but you can still do what you need to do. YELLOW means you have limitations as to what you can do. RED means it stops you. You can’t do anything else buy exist with it.
I saw my migraine doctor virtually on Friday, Yes the same doctor who said she can’t do anything else for me and wants me to go to San Diego for treatment, she didn’t mention this during this last appointment. She saw how many RED days (17 in October) I’ve had this past few months and asked if I thought she should admit me for treatment. I reluctantly agreed. I really wish I hadn’t.
I had my Allay Lamp so I didn’t have to have the bright light from the hospital. It helps relieve migraine pain, and it puts out light that I can stand during a migraine. Unfortunately the nurses didn’t seen to understand about the light. Bright lights are not necessary for everything.
I arrived at the hospital just as shifts were changing. It was confusing and very overwhelming. The pain was high and because of COVID-19 everyone has to wear a mask which means I can’t see their face to read lips, it was horrible I was so glad that Stuart was able to stay longer than they said he would be able to. He answered questions for me, which is really hard on me. I’m the patient. I’m the one who needs to know things, but I couldn’t hear well enough to understand what was going on a lot of the time.
The migraine doctor gave orders for me to get DHE shots, only. She didn’t prescribe anything else. I could do that at home! I expected a
DHE (Dihyrdoergotamine) is given with an antiemetic, so you won’t get nauseous. They gave me compazine instead of promethazine (what I normally take). Compazine isn’t just an antiemetic it’s also an antipsychotic. Antipsychotics can cause akathisia. (a state of agitation, distress, and restlessness, you feel like you have to move ALL THE TIME) You may remember a few years ago when I took Latuda I had a terrible time with akathisia. Now if I take any antipsychotic I get akathisia. I am having a helluva time. I cannot be still. On top of it all, I’m having PTSD because of my past experience with this. I can’t do this much longer. I don’t know what to do.
We called my migraine doctor on Monday morning. Stuart talked to the triage nurse and she said she’d send the message to the doctor “Top Priority”. My doctor didn’t call back until today, it’s Wednesday. So I’ve had akathisia since Saturday!! We called my PCP after hours yesterday and Stuart talked with the doctor on call, he called in something that is supposed to help. I’ve had two doses so far and I’m still moving. I
t’s hard to sit still and write this. I’ve started it over many times over the last few days. I have a horrible migraine right now, I can’t walk around with this pounding in my head. I feel like I’m being tortured. I NEED to MOVE, but I can’t because the pain gets worse and I’m dizzy. Stuart is calling my psychiatrist to see what she suggest since she is more used to this class of drugs. I think the drug the doctor put me on last night might be working a little, but with this SEVERE migraine pain I can’t move as much I as NEED to because it makes the pain so much worse. It really is torture.
Cross fingers for me that this medication works. I can’t write any more. I’ll be back after I feel better. xoxo w
It’s been so long since I posted I’m sure you all thought I was gone for good. Unfortunately this has to be a very short post.
Presently I’m in a lot of pain all the time. I still have that intractable migraine I’ve had since late April, luckily it varies in intensity, often having much lower pain days. However, there are days it is absolutely excruciating. That isn’t the worst thing I’m having to deal with right now, I’m also having very severe nerve pain across my shoulder, down my arms and the worst is my hands. It’s better when I’m lying flat with my arms at my sides, but I can’t do that all the time. I’m getting a CT scan soon to see if the nerves are impinged in my neck, if so the pain doctor will give me an epidural to help. It hurts so much I have to stop posting this every few seconds just so I can tolerate it a little.
On top of it all I’ve had a severe rash for over a month. The doctors aren’t sure what it is. It is incredibly itchy, it is torture. My allergist thinks it’s the rash you get when you are Celiac and got gluten, dermatitis herpaformis. I had a biopsy last Thursday to hopefully get an answers.
This is in various places all over my body, my back and this arm are the worse. There are many, many bumps you can’t see in this photo.
I think I’m a pretty strong person. After all I’ve been dealing with Meniere’s for MANY years, and I broke my neck in 1992. I’m not a stranger to healty adversities. But I have to admit, this is really getting to me. It’s just so much on top of another. It hasn’t just been a straw that broke this camel’s back, I was hit bye an anvil! I’m so grateful my antidepressant (esketamine) has been working, or I’d be worse than I am now, and right now I feel like blowing my head off.
Now I have to close, I simply can’t type any longer, but I have so much more to say. Hopefully I can post again soon.
Picnic with Ants 