I live in Charlotte, NC and I simply do not have the words to express how I’m feeling about the death of Keith Lamont Scott and the riots that have ensued afterward.
I’m a white woman. I can’t know how people of color feel at this moment. I know I’m sickened, saddened, and terrified by the travesties that have been happening. I know that I am sick of the killings and the hate. I know that hate breads hate and this is something that will continue until we learn to love and respect one another. I know that the riots are not just about the death of Scott. This has been a long time coming.
One of the best articles I’ve read about this event can be found here: Charlotte protesters say they are sick of “letting things slide”.
This article says much of what I would say if I had the words. Please take the time to read it.
We as a nation need to embrace one another and learn from these travesties. Please let it bring us together instead of pushing us further away. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening. I see this growing bigger. I see more hate filling the air. I see a time when whites who love people of color have no idea what to say or do to help. I’m one of those people. I want to help. All I can do is try to let it be known that I will not be silent any more. I will not stand for these killings. (I’m not just talking about the killing of Scott). I will not turn a blind eye on the inequality that is being forced on people of color. I can let people know I care.
Start standing up for what you believe.
Food reveals our connection with earth.
Each bite contains the life of the sun and the earth…
We can see and taste the whole universe in a piece of bread!
Contemplating our food for a few seconds before eating,
and eating in mindfulness,
can bring us much happiness.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Taken slowly, or mindfully,
even eating an orange or a bowl of soup,
or a small piece of dark chocolate for that matter,
can take on the flavor of prayer.
~ Mary DeTurris Poust
I keep being told by my therapist that I need friends. People I can spend time with, not just friends I text, email, message, blog with….. She wants me to have local friends. We’ve lived in this area for over 2 years and I don’t really know anyone.
My question for all of you is, How do I make friends?
I’m chronically ill, I can’t drive, I don’t go anywhere without my husband, I have a very hard time hearing in public places….
Where do I meet people who are willing to get to know me through all of those obstacles?
I don’t go to church. I did look for a Buddhist temple in the area and there are a couple of places, but they do not practice the type of Buddhism I do. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable there. It’d be like a Fundamentalist trying to go to a Catholic church, they are both Christians, but they are very different. (well it might not be that different)
I don’t work, so I won’t meet people there.
I don’t have kids so I won’t be meeting people through my kids.
I looked for a support group where I’d fit in, I can’t find anything. Before you suggest it, no I’m not going to start one, I would not be able to be reliable enough to do so.
I really think it would be best if I met people who have chronic illnesses, I think they would be more understanding of my “eccentricities”🙂
My husband works in a small office where there isn’t anyone to really become friendly with.
I’ve met the neighbors on each side of me, one is an elderly couple who prefer to keep to themselves, the other is a family who are always busy. We don’t really fit in with either.
So, any ideas? I’m not adverse to meeting people, I just don’t know how.
My biggest problems are: I can’t go out alone, can’t drive, and my hearing issues.
Really, I’m looking for suggestions. Any body got any??
When you discover that all happiness is inside of you,
the wanting and needing are over,
and life gets very exciting.
~ Byron Katie
All the elements for your happiness are already here.
There is no need to run, strive, search or stuggle.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
This past Saturday was our 12th anniversary. With my husband being my caregiver it is hard to find days where we can find time for just us without my illnesses playing a major part. Saturday was one of those rare days.
Recently I’ve been feeling pretty darn good. I have my days of not feeling well, my balance will be way off, and I’ll topple a lot, but for the most part I haven’t had any major vertigo attacks. That’s huge for me. I had a few days last week where I just didn’t feel good. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to spend our anniversary out of my recliner. But I was surprised. I woke up feeling good, so we headed out for a day of adventure.
We had a few plans for the day. Stuart asked me what I wanted to eat on our special day and I wanted crab legs. So we found this little restaurant that is on a small lake. I love being close to water. I was such a happy girl when we were sitting there on the water I teared up. After our wonderful lunch we walked around the lake and watched the ducks. We took pictures and just enjoyed ourselves. We then went out of frozen yogurt. The whole day we flirted like teenagers. It was such a good day, but it wasn’t over.
We stayed in a hotel for the night. It had a big whirlpool tub, and was in the ritzy part of town. We decided not to go out for dinner we instead went to Whole Foods and loaded up on the Salad bar and went back to our room. That may not sound romantic but it was so nice to just curl up in bed with my hubby eating salad. :-)
It was a very romantic day. We had planned to do more on Sunday but we were both exhausted from our anniversary celebration. We came home and just vegged. I slept sooo much. On Monday I was still paying for our little adventure and felt like I was catching a cold, but by Tuesday I was feeling well again. Which was great timing as Stuart had Tuesday off and we decided to go back to the boardwalk and just walk around and watch the ducks. We had ice cream outside enjoying the beautiful weather. It was a very relaxing afternoon. Sometimes even though I know I’ll pay the price later the price is worth it.
It is so very important to take the time to spend as much “us” time with your significant other as you can. My husband is my caregiver. Even when I’m too sick for days like Saturday (and Tuesday), we try to take some time for us. We may curl up and watch a movie together, or have a special dinner, just sit and talk…anything that makes things special. One big thing we do a lot is flirt with each other a lot. I am not able to follow through on a lot of my overtures but it doesn’t matter, he knows I want to. That is what is important. It’s important that even though we can’t be as intimate as we’d like as often as we’d like that we let each other know we’d like to, but it’s okay that we don’t. It’s okay that we just cuddle, that we are with each other, that we are so in love that not being able to have sex as much as we’d like isn’t going to come between us. And it makes those special nights in a hotel all the more special.😉