Migraines, Vertigo, Disequilibrium, Pain – mix and repeat often

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, CSF, Meniere's Disease, Pain12 Comments

Where have I been you ask?  Or perhaps you haven’t noticed (don’t tell me, I want to think I was missed) I haven’t been commenting as much on other blogs, or chatting away on mine (I know for a while I’ve been a little silent here so you probably didn’t notice), I haven’t even been able to answer emails in a timely manner.  I logged on today and I had over 230+ emails in my inbox.  Normally there are about 30…so how many days has it been??

I’ve been much sicker, if that’s the word to use, lately.  I’m not really sick, it’s my chronic stuff, plus a little oops added in. First I’ll tell about my oops.

I know in my last post 30 things you may not know….. I mentioned how hard it is for me to wash my hair.  It’s normally easier in the bathtub than the shower (I’ve fallen too many times in the shower), but I’ve decided that my bathtub is evil.  I’ve had heart palpitations in the tub and nearly passed out, I’ve slipped a few times trying to get out, once I smacked my head against the wall.  My latest fight with the tub?  I pulled the tendons in my left ankle, and knocked everything out of whack on that side from my foot to my lower back, while I was lying in the tub.  Yes, I said, LYING IN THE TUB!  Only me right?  Ok, it was a little more than just lying still.  I had scooted down in the tub to rinse my hair, then I pushed with my feet to scoot up – my left foot slipped and went in a direction it shouldn’t have.  But I must say, it really didn’t hurt. When I got out of the tub I could stand fine as long as I didn’t go up on my toes.  So I’m thinking, no big deal.  Then Stuart looked at my ankle and said, “Oh My!”.   My ankle was very swollen!!  My lower back hurt, but my ankle really didn’t.  If you touched the swollen area it hurt, but not much.  This happened last Friday night.  On Wednesday the swelling was down and I had a massage, she helped the leg and back, but last night my ankle was swollen again.   (not that I’ve been on it, I had vertigo all day yesterday so I was in the bed.)  So now you know.  I am afraid of my tub and shower….makes it pretty hard to keep up personal hygiene, but I manage….thanks to that darling man of mine.

What else had been causing me frustration and just plan fear lately?  I was supposed to have the Botox shots for my migraines on the 18th, my doctor was sick and they had to reschedule….they wanted to make the appointment in November!  We are leaving for Tucson, AZ the last week on October, we won’t be here in November.  So they scheduled it for October 20th…I cried.  I had the worst time with migraines this past month.  Right before my period started the pain started…they gave me special medication for that time of the month, it didn’t work.  I had 15 days out of 20 were spent in a dark room, often without any hearing device on because the light and sound would make me throw up.  Throw in some vertigo, and we have a great party going on.  Luckily, the appointment has just been changed to October 3rd.  This should be during my period, so it will be a real test.  Big problem now?  If it works I need to have another shot regimen in 3 months, we won’t be here.  I’m not sure I can find a neurologist in Tucson who would be willing to see me just once to give me Botox injections.  Actually, I doubt I will be able to, so it will be more like 5 months between injections.

Recently I’ve been having more vertigo, and constant disequilibrium.  Frankly, it scares me.  I’m pretty sure some of this is Cerebrospinal Fluid Pressure.  We changed my medication that controls the high pressure to a times released form instead of the kind I have to take numerous times a day (I kept missing one).  Since I’ve been on this new version of this medication I’ve been having symptoms like I did when my pressure was too low.  I started back on the regular form of the medication yesterday, I hope this really is what’s wrong.  Because the vertigo is scary.  I’m proud of myself about how much better I’m dealing with it.  I don’t panic as much, I’m sure I would if it was a severe attack.  My biggest fear I have is that when a severe attack hits it will never end.   I’ll give you an example of my days…Yesterday I woke up to the word spinning, slowly, but still spinning…this went on all day.  Luckily, I was able to sleep through some of it.  Then when it actually got to be bedtime, I couldn’t sleep.  So many things going through my head.  I kept thinking, something doesn’t add up….but I’m not sure what…at least I finished Uncle Tom’s Cabin…and still laid awake until 5am.  Today, I’m not spinning, but I can’t walk straight.  I can’t move my head at a normal speed or I will fall down from the disequilibrium.  In the past 48 hours, I’ve been to the bathroom once unaided.

OK…I know this is another venting post.  But I’m scared.  What if the change in medication doesn’t work?  Then why is this happening?  We’ll figure it out, or I’ll learn to live with it!  Right?

The other night I was talking to Stuart and told him that sometimes I envy people who don’t have to feel like I do.  Of course, he said that’s natural, part of self-preservation and all that….  I then told him, I would gladly be the only person in the world who had to feel this way if no one else ever did.  And I mean it.  The thought that others go through this is heart breaking to me.

The Lorax
photo from smh.com.au

I do have some good news about my hearing!  (unfortunately I had to cancel the last 3 appointments I’ve had with my audiologist because I was too ill to go, so I can’t tell you what she has to say, but I have some Wow! news.)  Stuart got The Lorax DVD from Netflix and we curled up in bed and watched it on the computer.   I used the direct link cable and linked the computer sound up to my processor.  I didn’t expect to hear any better than I hear the TV, I thought I’d mostly read the movie, as usual (thank goodness for closed captioning!), but this was different!  I heard the movie!!  I heard the characters the way they were supposed to sound!  I really heard it all, just right!  Isn’t that amazing?  That gives me hope that one day my CI will give me sounds that are normal.  Right now, I hear better with it than my hearing aid, but sounds are a bit off, however, I understand things more.  It’s coming along!  And The Lorax is my new best friend!

 

Invisible Illness Week – 30 things you may not know…

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Disability, Meniere's Disease10 Comments

September 10 -16 is National Invisible Awareness Week – If you’d like to get involved check out the official site. 

30 things about my illness you may not know.

(warning, some answers may give too much information, but it’s not detailed)

See, I don’t look sick. This photo was taken in 2009, right before my first ear surgery.
  1. The illness I live with is:  The main illnesses I live with are Meniere’s, chronic Migraines, Bipolar I disorder, and chronic hip and pelvic pain.  If you are interested in my other illnesses please see the the tab above titled The Ants That Bite.
  2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:  I don’t remember any more.  I think I was diagnosed with Meniere’s in 2001, Migraines (I’m not really sure, I’ve had doctors tell me on and off since my teens that I have migraines, but they became chronic in my late 20’s…I’m 49 now), chronic hip pain and pelvic pain – they haven’t figured out what is causing all the pain, so no diagnosis.  Bipolar I – 1990 then was told they were wrong – re-diagnosed in 1994.
  3. But I had symptoms since:  Meniere’s – the first attack I remember was in 1993.  Migraines – the first one I remember, I was 11.  The pelvic pain – in my early 30’s,  in the mid 1990’s.  The hip pain – 2008. Bipolar – in my teens.
  4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:  These are a few major ones for me….  Losing my hearing.  Not being able to drive.  Not seeing my friends like I used to.  Realizing that I will never be cured.  Not being able to have a sex life without pain.  (but I’ve dealt with, or am dealing with all of these.  They will not keep me down.)
  5. Most people assume:  I can do much more than I can, after all, I don’t “look” sick.  And some assume I use my illness to get out of social situations, but honestly I hate being so solitary
  6. The hardest part about mornings are:  Never knowing what the day will bring.  I often wake up with a blinding headache, I know what that day will bring.  But if I wake up feeling decent I never know if I’ll continue to feel that way, or if I’ll be hit with a Meniere’s attack or Migraine.  However, I try to make the most out of every day.
  7. My favorite medical TV show is: Ummm, funny, I used to watch some medical TV shows, but I don’t any longer.  I think I see too much of the medical community in person.
  8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:  I suppose I could “live” with out most gadgets, but there are some I wouldn’t want to!  My Cochlear Implant, I can hear so much more now. My laptop -so many of my friends are in there!
  9. The hardest part about nights are:  Trying to sleep, and trying to stay asleep.  Fear.  Fear of having an attack just as I’m falling asleep (this happens more than I’d like to admit), fear of waking up with a blinding headache……However, each night before I sleep I acknowledge my gratitude for the day, and plan what I’d like to do the next day.  I always have hope I will have a good day, and if I don’t I still know I’ll get something out of it.
  10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)    18 daily (this included the total number, not different medications), 5 as needed, 4 vitamins daily, and one B12 shot a week.
  11. Regarding alternative treatments I:  have tried many, including chiropractic, acupuncture, certain vitamin routines….  I found medical massage helps my migraines and hip pain a lot.  I also use a special diet to treat gluten and fructose intolerance.
  12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I don’t think anyone would choose to have an illness, but I’ll deal with the hand I’ve been dealt. 
  13. Regarding working and career:  I don’t work.  I don’t have a career.  Takes a lot out of conversations with others.  My doctor suggested I look into filing for disability, but I haven’t done it yet.
  14. People would be surprised to know:  I often don’t wash my hair for a month or more.  Water on my head is a trigger for me, especially if I have to close my eyes.  Luckily, my hair is pretty dry, and it’s long so I just tie it back.
  15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been:  There are a lot of times I have to say” I can’t” or “no” to people…and to myself.  Losing most of my independence.  Not being able to drive.  And not being able to have a normal sex life.
  16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:  Find the positive.  Become my own advocate.  Fire a doctor.
  17. The commercials about my illness:  The only one of my illnesses I’ve seen commercials for is Migraines.  Commercials are always drug companies wanting you to talk to your doctor about their drug.  I’m not comfortable with this, and normally the side effects they list are pretty scary.
  18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is:  I miss being able to go places alone.  (the answer to this question changes often, but right now, not being able to go anywhere alone is very difficult.)
  19. It was really hard to have to give up:  My hearing.  Even with technological help, I have a cochlear implant (CI) and a hearing aid, it is still very hard to hear at times.  I know my hearing with the CI will get better, but it has been very hard to loose all my hearing in one ear, and almost all of it in the other.  Without technology, I can’t hear anything.
  20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging. Reading a lot!  I’ve always liked to read, but now it’s almost an obsession.  (thank you to Kym for my Kindle!   Oh. another gadget I wouldn’t want to live without.)
  21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:  I would be so very thankful!!  Then I’d spend a day pampering my husband, in and out of bed.  ; )
  22. My illness has taught me:  To be my own advocate.  To be more tolerant…I thought I was tolerant before, but I realize I needed a wake up call on that one.  That I’m not alone….this one relieves me because I needed to feel that someone understood, but it makes me so sad that others have to go through what I have.  And that I can handle much more than I ever thought I could.
  23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Any form of, telling me I’ll get better.  “When you get better….”,  “You will beat this….”   NO, I won’t.  This doesn’t go away.  I may be able to find something to make it more tolerable, but it will never go away.  And often treatments that work, stop working.   I also hate it when people say, “You don’t deserve this”  I know they are trying to be kind….but I never thought I deserved this!  And one more….”But you look so good.“
  24. But I love it when people:  Tell me how they are doing, want my opinion, want to talk to me as a friend…..Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if someone asks about my illness, if they are interested and want to know more about it.  But, sometimes I feel like people forget I’m anything more than my illness.
  25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: This may not be the life I expected, so I’m changing my expectations.   I don’t know if this is a quote or anything, it’s simply something I thought one day and it has helped me through accepting a lot of things that have had to change.
  26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:  Often people who have been recently diagnosed find my blog and it scares them, so I start off telling people:  Everyone’s journey with Meniere’s is different.  Most do not get to the stage I’m at, so please don’t think you are going to lose your hearing….or any number of things I’ve been though.  I’m in the very rare group.  I let them know there are many treatments to keep Meniere’s under control, and point them to sites and other bloggers who can give a different perspective.  Most importantly, I assure them, they are not alone.  They can contact me any time, and there are online groups.
  27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:  That my husband and I have gotten even closer.  Thank you to our therapist, I think having to go to a therapist about all of this surprised me too.  I was not handling losing my independence very well, and hubby wasn’t communicating very well.  But by going to a therapist we began to communicate out needs much easier, and recognize our needs.  Another big surprise is that people will reach out to me.  I’m very surprised that I’ve touched people, and made some honest friendships with people I’ve never met.
  28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was:  (This does not include things my husband does for me)  Come to visit me.  It doesn’t happen often, but I do enjoy other people’s company.  I hate that I often have to cancel when someone wants to do something with me.  I’m already so isolated, and if I have to cancel people often think I don’t want to see them, or I’m just too much trouble.  I don’t blame them, most of my friends have families, and they have to work their schedule around a lot of things.  So missing a visit makes it harder to make plans the next time.
  29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because:   Because I have more than one. Some people I love and care about have invisible illnesses.  We need to let people know we are still people, but don’t judge us by how we look.
  30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:  That you care, and maybe you understand some things about me you didn’t before.

I can’t believe it’s been so long…..

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Meniere's Disease5 Comments

There is so much to tell, where do I start?

I think I’ll just make a list of things that have been going on, then I’ll expand on them later….with some pictures.

First, the day after I wrote my last post be got a Foster Puppy.  (that’s why I promised the next post would be happier.)  For 2 weeks, we have the love of a 5 month old lab/Shepherd mix…this is a big puppy.  But he was adorable, and we loved spending the time with him, fortunately Max (our cat) did not share our enthusiasm.   I’ll write more about that later.

Then I had a migraine that lasted for 5 days without letting up, my meds would take the edge off a little, but not much.  I spent those 5 days in our bedroom with blankets on the windows, and the doors closed.  Most of the time I also had my hearing devices off.  The light and sound was so unbearable.   I really hate have hormone headaches.  And this month was horrible.  The cramps, the ….well you know what happens during that time of the month, but I will say, this was one of the heaviest periods I’ve ever had.  I’ve heard that some women right before they start menopause they have worse periods.  But I really don’t know about that.  I need to look up much more about menopause.

Hearing with my CI is getting better.  Stuart and I went to a restaurant that I can never hear in, and I heard the waitress, I ordered for myself!  I carried on a conversation!  This are still a bit distorted, but I’m beginning to tell male voices from female.  Some things sound as they should.   More on this later.

Tonight my hubby made homemade chicken soup for me, can you guess why?  That’s right, I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a cold.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve sneezed so much, and where does all this stuff that’s coming out of my nose come from?  Ick!  (btw, that’s not a serious question)

I probably have more to tell, but my head is hurting too much now.  And I should try to get some rest….and some tea…oh yes, some tea will make it better.

The chicken soup was AWESOME!  if you’d like the recipe you can find it here: http://wendycooks.wordpress.com/2012/04/15/the-best-chicken-soup-ive-ever-eaten/
Stuart did change one thing.  We just made a huge pot of Chicken Stock, much richer than the broth the recipe makes, so he used that for the liquid.   Sure is funny how chicken soup can make a cold sufferer feel so much better.

 

 

It’s been a very rough week.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Meniere's Disease10 Comments

It has been a very hard week.  I won’t go into details as it concerns people in my family, and I won’t talk about my family on my blog again.  I’ve been contemplating all week simply closing my blog and disappearing, or making it private.  But that’s stress talking, I’ve found so much support here and I want to think I’ve given a lot of support and information here too.  Plus I need a place to go and just get it out.  Even when I can’t talk about all of it.  Let’s just say, it’s settled for now….maybe.

Photo by Vincent Morrison – Manipulated by Wendy Holcombe
If photos could show feelings…

On the 15th, I got hit with a huge stessor!   I was under extreme stress and confusion for hours.  Finally, things were calming down.  I was relaxing in bed, tying to breathe in the ill feelings I felt towards me, and breathe out happiness and goodness to all.  I decided to have a little pineapple Greek yogurt, with a banana and nuts for desert.  It is delicious.  Well, what I got to eat of it.  Right when Stuart brought me my decadence, I had that Wonky feeling in my head…so I took my pills and hoped it was just a blip on the radar.  (Yes I know, how could I think of eating if I was feeling Wonky, but I’ve been having a lot of Wonky spells that just turn into nothing lately.) Unfortunately, before I was even finished with my treat the world was in full spin!  This was one of the longest attacks I’ve ever had….and one of the strangest.  It was Meniere’s, not vertigo caused by a migraine.  I went through all the stages…and all the grossness. (some how while throwing up I bashed my elbow on something, and it has had a knot on it since then.  It’s getting better, but I was afraid I had broken it the next day.)  Again, all the throwing up and losing all bodily functions.  Not being able to lift my head, except to put it in a bucket.  (I even threw up on our brand new carpet….not much, thank goodness, but Yuck!)

So the vertigo kept changing speeds, it would be wild, so fast I couldn’t recognize the things spinning by, then it would slow down to the point I thought it was going to stop any second….I even dozed off a few times, just to be jerked awake by vicious spinning again!  This went on for over 16 hours.  Luckily I didn’t throw up the whole time, I did keep heaving though.  Even before I threw up the first time, I would have the worst muscle spasms and just heave, like I had dry heaves, but nothing had started yet.  This often happens to me when I have an attack, at he beginning at least, I can’t figure out why.  Why does it have to hurt so bad??

Even after the spinning stopped for the next day I kept feeling like they would start back up, I couldn’t walk straight.  It was a very rough 2 days.

On Friday I had an appointment with my headache pain specialist (neurologist).  I was supposed to get Botox shots for my migraines.  Many people have had good results from this procedure.  I was a bit nervous, they do 31 shots in your head and neck/shoulder area.  Alas, I did not get it done.  Once again our insurance did not send a pre-approval, they didn’t deny it, but they didn’t approve it either.  Just like with the Cochlear Implant.  What a pain in the butt that was.  Luckily, they did pay for most of it.  They didn’t cover a procedure that cost about $500, testing the device after they hooked it up to me to make sure everything worked right.  Can you believe?  What if they hadn’t tested it, and later found out part of it wasn’t working?  I’d have to go through another surgery to replace it.  How bizarre.  Stuart called the insurance company on Monday, I have been approved for the procedure, it just seems no one knew it.  So now I have to get another appointment with this doctor…..hope it’s soon.

Sunday I had another scare. but not with vertigo.  Really I wasn’t scared, it’s happened before, and I’ve been checked out, still it’s uncomfortable and yeah, it’s a bit scary.  I had heart palpitations.  I figured out why, but it lasted a long time.  I wasn’t as careful Sunday about what I ate or drank.  I do not drink caffeine very often, and if I do, it’s just a little bit.  I also don’t eat much sugar.  Well…I wasn’t so bright on Sunday.  We were out and I had Mandarin Orange Green Tea, not thinking that Green Tea has caffeine.  That would have been fine, but later in the day we were at a store and I started feeling funny, and very thirsty, we couldn’t find anything that didn’t have either caffeine or sugar.  I decided to take the caffeine since I wasn’t sure if the sugared drinks had fructose.  I only drank about half of the soda.  After dinner I decided to have some ice cream we bought, it is Fat Free, and I was thinking Sugar Free too.  Not bright.  I only had about half a cup, but it was enough.  I started feeling strange.  I thought my blood sugar had dropped, so I ate some protein. But it didn’t work.  I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my hubby and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  The doctor told me to massage one side of my neck, and it should help, she also said to put something cold on my wrist.  Well I did both, for a long time.  This lasted longer than I was comfortable with.  Finally, things slowed down….and all was alright.

I hate how much I have to watch everything I put in my mouth.  It would be difficult enough if that was all I had to deal with, but dealing with all my food issues and my other health issues is hard!  I’m dealing with it, and I’m lucky I can eat as much as I can…right?  I just need to be more diligent.

 

Well that’s all for this past week.

I promise my next post will be on a happier note.

Ask me about it!

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Life9 Comments
Question image__by_MultiCurious at deviantArt.com

I got this idea from one of my favorite bloggers LinLori.

I know many of you probably have questions for me, about my Cochlear Implant, any of my health issues…..ranging from Bipolar I to Chronic Pelvic Pain….and the newest diagnosis I haven’t even mentioned here yet….Vulvar Vestibulitis.  You may want to ask how I deal with certain things (like grieving for Sandy), or about my relationship with my husband.  You may even want to ask about my food issues.  Or what my favorite things are….whatever….I’m here to answer your questions.  If I possibly can.

Ask anything.

You all know I’m an open book…I don’t mind telling the details…so if you want to know something, now is the time to ask!

Come on ask….you know you want to know.

A Day of Wonders (Cochlear Implant activation)

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Cochlear Implant, Meniere's Disease10 Comments

Tuesday, July 31st, I woke up to this beautiful site:

Tulips from my hubby! What a wonderful surprise!!

I had an appointment with Dr. Kaylie to check my incision at 1pm, and then I saw the audiologist immediately afterward.

Dr. Kaylie was pleased that I didn’t have as much pain or vertigo with this surgery.  The incision looked great, and all was a go for activation….well, to get my processor.  Dr. Kaylie already checked to make sure the Implant was working when I was in surgery, so that wasn’t a worry.  The implant was already working, but I couldn’t hear anything without the processor.  It was time to get the processor.  So off to see Sara, my audiologist.

It was very interesting to have the processor hooked up.  At first I just heard a series of beeps, (that’s what I was supposed to hear).  She was determining the volume each frequency should be. Then I was able to hear speech, and when I first heard her talk I busted out laughing!  She sounded like a cartoon, then I heard Stuart speak, and he sounded like a cartoon…heck, I sounded like a cartoon.  I kept giggling every time someone spoke. Everyone still sounds cartoonish.  A very silly cartoon, like on Rodger Rabbit.  It’s amusing but also quite difficult.  Sara reassured me that all of her patients tell her that it gets better, but everyone is different.  My brain has to be trained to hear a different way.  Now I’m not hearing as a normal person, I’m hearing by having my auditory nerve stimulated.  That kind of blows my mind. (I know my hearing will get better and better as time goes on, but I also know I may never hear like normal ears hear any longer.)

You would not believe how much stuff I got with my processors. Two HUGE boxes full of stuff.

These are the boxes all the parts came in. The coffee cup is in the picture to show scale. It’s a regular sized coffee mug.
This is some of the pieces for the Harmony processor. Yes lot’s of extra stuff. I’m so confused by how I’m going to organize all of this stuff….just look there’s even more in the next box…and this doesn’t include things I’m using, like the processor, and the battery chargers…ect.
This is some of the items that came with the Neptune processor. This is the processor that can be waterproof, and it clips on instead of going behind the ear….but all this stuff, I have to figure a way to organize it, and understand it all. : )

I was joking in the last picture, I was shown what everything did, I just need to work with everything to make sure I understand how it works without anyone telling me, or me having to look it up.  Especially all the connections to hook the processor straight up to the iPod, or things like that.  The different ear hooks for different things with the Harmony.  All the accessories just to make it different looking and some to clip the Neptune on to me, like an arm band and a lanyard…ect.
I have a drying box to keep the processors free of dampness.  Each processor came with one, but I like one better than the other.  There are different carrying cases, but neither will help organize all the pieces.  I feel like I got some very useful items, some fun items, and some useless items.  But it’s been like Christmas for a couple of days just playing around with all the pieces and figuring out how to wear them.

Here’s some photos of me with my CI hooked up with the different processors :

Me with the Harmony processor on….I was playing around with the different colored pieces you can snap on to it. The part that hooks to my head….by a magnet…that’s green, I have that in white, black, red, brown, and light brown….and of course lime green. Where the blue is, I have some funky snap on parts there, they are all silly – stars, rockets, rainbows…ect. Or I don’t have to wear one and it will be a light brownish beige.
This is the Harmony from the side. I have the larger battery on the processor in this photo, so the back part (where the blue is snapped on) is longer than it is with the smaller battery. Of course the larger battery last longer than the shorter one….about 4-5 hours longer I think.
This is me with the Neptune on. I just clipped it to my shirt to show what it looks like. When it is waterproof, it’s actually smaller (you take the controller off, so you can’t change the volume or anything when you are swimming, but who would have time?)
Please excuse the way I look. No makeup, in a sloppy t-shirt…and taking photos of myself. How atrocious! haha

So there you have it.  Me and my Cochlear Implant with the 2 processors I picked out.

Remember, picking out a processor is a very personal thing.  I would never say mine is the best, if you are getting a cochlear implant, do as I did, read up as much as you can on all the ones available, then decide which one will fit in you the best.

Also.  Everyone has different experiences with their CI.  I’m hearing words, some people do not hear words when it is first turned on.  Others hear words that are much clearer than what I am hearing.  Some of it depends on how long you have been deaf, I don’t know the other factors…I just know we are different.  So don’t think my experience is the same experience you will have.

The wonders continue!

OH….I did hear my cat purr last night, and it sounded like purring!  I was thrilled!  The one sound I’ve had a hard time getting used to is my own breath.  I feel that’s strange….hopefully I’ll get used to it soon.  Breathing shouldn’t be this loud….should it?  I’m sure it’s something that will end up just going into the background.  I remember when I got my hearing aids the sound of my hair brushing against them drove me crazy….later I didn’t even notice it.

Photo Op! Cochlear Implant

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Cochlear Implant9 Comments
Getting Prepped for Surgery. (photo by Stuart Holcombe)
My Surgeon’s Signature. Marking which ear they will be operating on. (photo by Stuart Holcombe)
I’m a FALL RISK! When you have Meniere’s as a diagnosis, you are pretty much so labeled a FALL RISK. Funny, I don’t really see where they do anything different. I did get an escort to the bathroom, but if I had fallen, she wouldn’t have been able to hold me up! I think I’ll keep the bracelet and just keep putting it on when I go to Duke, no sense in wasting them. : ) (photo by Stuart Holcombe)
At home, tucked in my bed with Monkey after surgery. Sorry photo is a bit dark, but I didn’t have time to adjust it.
photo by, Stuart Holcombe
Taken 7/23/2012 – The oily part and yellow part is the stuff they put on the protect the wound until it has healed enough….I get to wash my hair on Thursday. I do not have any stitches to take out, all will dissolve. (photo by Stuart Holcombe)
Another view of incision. It was hard to get my hair in this position to show how much was shaved. It is very easily covered up.
photo by Stuart Holcombe

Surgery went “Perfect”

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Cochlear Implant11 Comments

Sorry I haven’t posted, and unfortunately this post won’t have photos, I promise they will be coming soon.

My surgeon told Stuart that my surgery went “perfect”.  Yay!

Of course, I’m a weird patient….I had a reaction to the antibiotic.  Not a severe reaction, but I looked like a clown.  I had very red cheeks.  Nothing serious, and it faded the next day, I didn’t even have to change my antibiotic, but we had to keep a watch out for a little while.

I also had a reaction to the adhesive they used to attach the heart monitor to me.  I looked like I had huge hickies from an octopus hugging me.  But again, nothing serious.

The pain isn’t bad.  But it is there.  Yesterday was worse, probably because I hate taking pain medication and was tired for feeling drunk.   I am swollen, but I think it’s better than it was yesterday.  I’m very tired, and I’m having some killer migraines.  That’s why I haven’t posted before now.  The migraines made it way too uncomfortable for me to look at the computer.

So….everything is fine!  I’m doing well!

My Cochlear Implant will be activated on the 31st.

I’ll get photos up as soon as I get them off of my phone!  They look much like the photos from the endolymphatic sac surgery…same smiley cup and everything.  Wait until you see how much hair is gone!  (really, not much at all, you can barely tell!)

off to sleep some more.

Thank you all for so many get well wishes.

One Week until Surgery

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Cochlear Implant, Meniere's Disease18 Comments

As excited as I am about getting the Cochlear Implant (CI) next week, I’m nervous too.  I realized this yesterday.  I had appointments scheduled for this week and a dinner with friends scheduled for Sunday, and I told Stuart I just couldn’t do it.  I simply feel like there is too much stress on me right now.  With all the stress, I was making myself sick.

So what am I nervous about?  You would think I’d be nervous about the surgery, but I’m not.  I am nervous about the nurses finding a vein for the IV before the surgery, that is always an ordeal with me.   However, mostly I’m worried that the surgery will be postponed.  There have been so many delays, I’m having a hard time believing it’s going to happen.  I am expecting something to happen…I’ll get sick, my doctor will get sick or have to postpone for some reason….anything.

Now that I realize what has been bothering me so much, I’m dealing with it much better.  I know the surgery will happen.  If some unforeseen circumstance causes the surgery to be delayed , I’ll deal with it.  I know it will happen, if not next week as scheduled then as soon as possible afterward.  I still don’t want to be stressed out more by going to the dentist, having a mammogram, and having a dinner party.  These things will just have to wait.

Now, let’s talk a little about the surgery.  I’m pretty lucky really, about 90% of the surgery has already been done to me.   Since I had the Endolymphatic Sac Surgery, they don’t have to drill a hole in my head.  It’s already there.  All that has to be done is thread the wire from the CI into the cochlea, and place the implant.

There were 3 companies for me to choose my CI from, each had positives and negatives but really they were all pretty close.  I chose Advanced Bionics.  This is a very personal decision for each person who gets a Cochlear Implant, I felt that the Advanced Bionics CI would fit best in my life style.

This is what will be going in my head:

Cochlear Implant from Advanced Bionics. http://www.advancedbionics.com/us/en/products.html

I’m so happy that Duke is a two processor facility.  The processor is the part that you see on the outside.  Since Advance Bionics offers more than one processor, I was given the choice of getting 2 the same or one of each.  I chose to get one of each.  One processor is called the Harmony, it is a Behind The Ear type.  I liked this model because the T-mic (microphone) is located at the opening of your ear, so it will be easier to talk on the phone, and my ear will act as a natural buffer for noises, like your ear normally does.

Here’s a photo of the Harmony Processor:

Harmony Processor – photo from Advanced Bionics website.

The Harmony comes in a variety of colors.  I think I was allowed to choose 5, but it’s been so long now, I don’t remember what colors I chose.  We’ll have to wait and see after I get hooked up.  You can use regular hearing aid batteries, or rechargeable batteries, I’m sure you know which ones I’ll be using.  I was able to chose different types of rechargeable batteries, small and large.  The small battery doesn’t last as long as the larger one.  I ordered both.

The other processor I chose was the Neptune.  The Neptune is capable of being Water Proof, it’s the only CI that is Water Proof, so I can swim in it!  The Processor is not behind the ear (BTE) it can be clipped to different things: an arm band, your shirt, a lanyard, your hair…ect.  The microphone is on the part that fits to the head.

Here’s a photo of the Neptune:

Neptune Processor – photo from Advanced Bionics

I realize the photo above doesn’t give you a good idea of what the Neptune really looks like.  So here’s a few that will give you a better idea:

This photo shows the Neptune Processor. The thinner profile is not water proof, you must add a different piece to the processor to make it water proof, that is shown on the thicker profile. (photo from AdvancedBionics website)

 

This shows the Neptune on a child while swimming. The processor is hooked to the arm band. (photo from Advanced Bionics)
This shows the processor clipped in a pocket, and in a girl’s hair. (my hair is long, I could completely cover the CI in my hair if I wanted.)
(photo from Advanced Bionics)

With the Neptune I was also given the opportunity of picking all kinds of colors.  I know I picked a brown, and the lime green seen above, but I don’t remember the rest.  We’ll all be surprised when I get hooked up.

The CI will be turned on 2 weeks after surgery.  That will be the beginning of August, hopefully the 2nd or 3rd.

Anybody want to know anything else?

I know this is a LONG post, but it’s full of information, right?

We can make it, one day at a time. : )

What to say, when you don’t feel like talking?

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness13 Comments
Depression by ninykinin via DeviantArt.com

I’m sorry to my followers, my friends, that I have not been around much.  I am a bit overwhelmed by so much that has been going on that I haven’t told you about, and I’ve been sucked into a depressive state.  I keep trying to pull out of it, I even have a new medication, but I’m still just blah.  I wake up in the morning, and often feel awful for the first hour or two, it takes me a while to feel like a real person, then when I actually feel alright, I think what reason do I have to get out of bed?

I don’t find pleasure in the things I used to be so passionate about, like art, cooking, blogging….ect.  I do still find pleasure in reading, perhaps it is an escape?  I also still find pleasure with my husband, just being next to him makes me feel better.

I will be seeing my psych. tomorrow, I’ll discuss this with him, and we’ll see if I should increase the antidepressant I’m on, or try something else.   I’m sure he can help pull me out of this.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m normally very positive.  This turn of emotions has hit me like a wall, I don’t feel like myself.  I need to get my positive outlook back.

The ironic thing about this, I’m actually much better.  I have the weird feelings when I first wake up, but I think that’s because I’ve been horizontal for so long that my cerebrospinal fluid raises a bit, and I have to sit up for a while, and take my medicine before I feel better.

I’m still having migraines, but they aren’t as intense.  I’m still having Migraine Associated Vertigo (MAV), but not as often, and when I do it doesn’t last as long.  Maybe I’m just getting the medication in faster, all I know is it’s better.  I’m still having chronic migraines though, yes they are better, but they still knock me out of commission for a while, so my doctor is starting a new treatment plan.  We want to get it where I’m having much fewer migraines, not just less intense.

No Meniere’s vertigo!

My surgery has FINALLY been scheduled!  July 19th, I will receive my bionic ear!  (my implant is from Advanced Bionics…so I can literally say I will have a bionic ear!)  Two weeks after surgery they will turn on the cochlear implant.  (I wrote a post telling all about the processors I chose, but that’s the one WordPress deleted half of, so I need to finish it again…I will try to do that soon, so you can see what will be hooked to the side of my head.  I’m sure you are all eager to see that!  : )  Just wait until you see it actually on my head!

Other things that have been happening:  We got new carpet.  We replaced our worn out couch.  We had our mattress replaced under warranty…it wouldn’t bounce back.   So the house is full of chemical smells, and I’m so sick!  I keep trying to stay in rooms with less chemical smells, but I’m still coughing so much my throat is sore, my head hurts, I’m so tired all the time….ect.  I’ll be so happy when I can breathe in my own house again!

Tell me is it normal to feel down when you start feeling better?  Yes, I’m feeling better but not to the point that I can do everything I want.  Since I feel better, I’ve begun to resent that I can’t drive, I can’t have that independence.  I hate that Stuart has to be with me for me to leave the house.  I know with the uncertainty of vertigo it’s even dangerous for me to walk around the block by my self.  I resent that I have to be careful of all the food that I eat.  We took a little trip this weekend, and it was so very hard to find food that I could eat.  I felt horrible, every time we wanted to eat it was such an ordeal.  It’s not so bad locally, we know places that are safe, but I didn’t think about not being able to find safe food on the road.   We tried so hard to make sure everything I ate was safe for me, but still I got sick.  On the way home we had to stop numerous times so I could run to the bathroom.  I was so embarrassed to have that happen in a public restroom.  eww.

I used to find it a challenge and a pleasure to cook even with my restrictions.  I thought it was interesting to figure out how to change a recipe so I could eat it.  Now I resent that I can’t eat some things.  That I can’t cook whatever I want.  I don’t like this feeling.

Oh, I almost forgot, I had a birthday.  July 2nd!  My husband is a dear man, he celebrated my birthday for 4 days, and I’m getting my main present today!  So, still celebrating… he’s done something sweet for me every day since Friday!  He really made up for the one time he forgot my birthday!  haha  Funny thing, I thought I was turning 50 this year.  Stuart and I were walking along one day last month and mentioned my birthday, I said that this one was a big one, he asked why 49 was big for me, I said, “No, I’ll be 50!”  He looked at me, and said “No Wendy you will just be 49”.  I was sure I was going to be 50!  He said, “What year is it?”  I said, 2012….Ooooh!  I guess I’ll be 50 next year.”  How silly was that?  Here I’d been telling people for months that I was turning 50 this year!  hahaha

Well, I think that’s all I can purge out of myself at the moment.

I will try my best to blog more often, I really want to become passionate about it again.  I’ve missed my friends.