It’s been a very rough week.

It has been a very hard week.  I won’t go into details as it concerns people in my family, and I won’t talk about my family on my blog again.  I’ve been contemplating all week simply closing my blog and disappearing, or making it private.  But that’s stress talking, I’ve found so much support here and I want to think I’ve given a lot of support and information here too.  Plus I need a place to go and just get it out.  Even when I can’t talk about all of it.  Let’s just say, it’s settled for now….maybe.

Photo by Vincent Morrison – Manipulated by Wendy Holcombe
If photos could show feelings…

On the 15th, I got hit with a huge stessor!   I was under extreme stress and confusion for hours.  Finally, things were calming down.  I was relaxing in bed, tying to breathe in the ill feelings I felt towards me, and breathe out happiness and goodness to all.  I decided to have a little pineapple Greek yogurt, with a banana and nuts for desert.  It is delicious.  Well, what I got to eat of it.  Right when Stuart brought me my decadence, I had that Wonky feeling in my head…so I took my pills and hoped it was just a blip on the radar.  (Yes I know, how could I think of eating if I was feeling Wonky, but I’ve been having a lot of Wonky spells that just turn into nothing lately.) Unfortunately, before I was even finished with my treat the world was in full spin!  This was one of the longest attacks I’ve ever had….and one of the strangest.  It was Meniere’s, not vertigo caused by a migraine.  I went through all the stages…and all the grossness. (some how while throwing up I bashed my elbow on something, and it has had a knot on it since then.  It’s getting better, but I was afraid I had broken it the next day.)  Again, all the throwing up and losing all bodily functions.  Not being able to lift my head, except to put it in a bucket.  (I even threw up on our brand new carpet….not much, thank goodness, but Yuck!)

So the vertigo kept changing speeds, it would be wild, so fast I couldn’t recognize the things spinning by, then it would slow down to the point I thought it was going to stop any second….I even dozed off a few times, just to be jerked awake by vicious spinning again!  This went on for over 16 hours.  Luckily I didn’t throw up the whole time, I did keep heaving though.  Even before I threw up the first time, I would have the worst muscle spasms and just heave, like I had dry heaves, but nothing had started yet.  This often happens to me when I have an attack, at he beginning at least, I can’t figure out why.  Why does it have to hurt so bad??

Even after the spinning stopped for the next day I kept feeling like they would start back up, I couldn’t walk straight.  It was a very rough 2 days.

On Friday I had an appointment with my headache pain specialist (neurologist).  I was supposed to get Botox shots for my migraines.  Many people have had good results from this procedure.  I was a bit nervous, they do 31 shots in your head and neck/shoulder area.  Alas, I did not get it done.  Once again our insurance did not send a pre-approval, they didn’t deny it, but they didn’t approve it either.  Just like with the Cochlear Implant.  What a pain in the butt that was.  Luckily, they did pay for most of it.  They didn’t cover a procedure that cost about $500, testing the device after they hooked it up to me to make sure everything worked right.  Can you believe?  What if they hadn’t tested it, and later found out part of it wasn’t working?  I’d have to go through another surgery to replace it.  How bizarre.  Stuart called the insurance company on Monday, I have been approved for the procedure, it just seems no one knew it.  So now I have to get another appointment with this doctor…..hope it’s soon.

Sunday I had another scare. but not with vertigo.  Really I wasn’t scared, it’s happened before, and I’ve been checked out, still it’s uncomfortable and yeah, it’s a bit scary.  I had heart palpitations.  I figured out why, but it lasted a long time.  I wasn’t as careful Sunday about what I ate or drank.  I do not drink caffeine very often, and if I do, it’s just a little bit.  I also don’t eat much sugar.  Well…I wasn’t so bright on Sunday.  We were out and I had Mandarin Orange Green Tea, not thinking that Green Tea has caffeine.  That would have been fine, but later in the day we were at a store and I started feeling funny, and very thirsty, we couldn’t find anything that didn’t have either caffeine or sugar.  I decided to take the caffeine since I wasn’t sure if the sugared drinks had fructose.  I only drank about half of the soda.  After dinner I decided to have some ice cream we bought, it is Fat Free, and I was thinking Sugar Free too.  Not bright.  I only had about half a cup, but it was enough.  I started feeling strange.  I thought my blood sugar had dropped, so I ate some protein. But it didn’t work.  I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my hubby and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  The doctor told me to massage one side of my neck, and it should help, she also said to put something cold on my wrist.  Well I did both, for a long time.  This lasted longer than I was comfortable with.  Finally, things slowed down….and all was alright.

I hate how much I have to watch everything I put in my mouth.  It would be difficult enough if that was all I had to deal with, but dealing with all my food issues and my other health issues is hard!  I’m dealing with it, and I’m lucky I can eat as much as I can…right?  I just need to be more diligent.

 

Well that’s all for this past week.

I promise my next post will be on a happier note.

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10 thoughts on “It’s been a very rough week.

  1. You don’t ever have to promise that your next post will be happier, we’re all friends and if it’s another shitty day, talk about it. I ‘m crossing my fingers that you will be feeling better very soon. I’m so sorry you have so much going on. Feel better (please) Love, Laurie

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  2. Healing hugs and good thoughts are on their way to you. I could also send you a shovel if you want to get rid of some of the b.s. from everything happening to you. We have a few here at the house. 🙂 Heart palpitations are scary, especially when you’ve been checked out and told all is good.

    Take it easy and I hope you get that appointment set up soon.

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  3. You’ve been through so much and dealing with ALL these health issues are extremely difficult and no one understands until they have such complex issues! You need to take care of yourself. It’s hard to do that when your insurance doesn’t approve the much needed treatment until long after it’s needed. Botox does help significantly. Even though it’s late, it will help. It seems that when help is urgent…it’s delayed for some reason or another.

    If others can’t be empathetic they need to stay out of the picture while you are dealing with your crisis. Dealing with health and insurance issues are already enough to deal with. You aren’t asking for sympathy you are just expressing what is happening to you…it’s all devastating! You are entitled to freedom of expression.

    By expressing your feeling, thoughts, and symptoms you are helping others through these challenges. Others are learning from your experiences. Thank you for sharing your good and bad days! That’s reality and many may not like it…but others are also living with so many of these issues and we’re grateful for helping everyone.

    Take care and stay safe,
    Edie

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  4. Please let me know when a good time is to come see you. I am very flexible and would love a chance to visit live! Just text me and we will work it out. Here’s to a healthy heap of healing hugz!!!

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  5. Wendy it does sound like a weekus terriblus. I’m so sorry you have to keep experiencing all these” difficulties”(I really have no words to describe what you go through).
    The one overriding thought that hit me from your post is that perhaps you have to be even more vigilant and careful about what you ingest emotionally.

    When we swim around in polluted waters it’s just a matter of time before we inhale something that makes us sick.

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  6. Hey, no promises. Just post whatever is going on. Life is too unpredictable to make promises. 😉 Although, I agree with not talking about family online…or co-workers…or neighbors. Smart. General vague summaries can get the point across just fine without particulars. I hope things are better for you and life is treating you kindly. 🙂

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    • Wendy, Sorry I have been hiding like a hermit lately. I am slowly catching up on my friends and trying to comment. I can only post a comment if there is already a comment there that I can “grab” onto as a reply. Does that even make sense? I would have to take a dose of sleep meds and sleep through those attacks….but that probably wouldn’t help anyway, or I’m sure you would have done it already.

      As far as family reading my posts………..well, that’s part of the reason I have not been around. Some people can really mess with your head. Take care my friend.

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      • No worries about not being around as much….I’m sorry you have had similar troubles to me as far as posting. Yes, some people can really mess with my head…and heart.
        You take care of you. I know you haven’t been feeling the greatest either, I hope you are feeling better.
        and Nope, no matter how much I’ve tried to knock myself out, it just gets worse. (I’ve actually dreamed an attack…that’s bad when you start throwing up. But I know it will end, sometimes sooner than others, but it will end.)
        and what you said about catching on to another’s reply….I understand. Cannot fathom why, but I understand what you are saying. : ) Take care of you my friend.

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  7. Wow — what a horrible week you’ve been through! Cuz my cognitive skills are at an all time low, I’ve put blogs into the wkly digest mode, so just got this now. So sorry to read that life has been hell — sure the family stressors didn’t make it any better.
    Close down the blog if you need the space, but remember that the cyber community is always here for you!

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    • No worries my friend.
      I plan to write a new post soon that will be more on the upside. This week was much better.
      I’m sorry I haven’t been reading as much this week…when you read my post you will know why. So I’m sure I’ve missed a ton!
      and to H*(( with my family. This is my blog! I need it! And I’ve never told a lie here. So there!
      take care of you!
      hope the cognitive skills are getting better.
      I promise I’ll catch up soon.

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