Today’s Prompt: Pinboard. Create a pinterest board for your health focus. Pin 3 things. What did you
pin? Share the images in a post and explain why you chose them.
I chose to pin a few more than 3 things, and probably could have done more. However, I only pinned photos and artwork I created. I chose these images because I felt they were closer to me and expressed what I wanted to say many times.
Here are the photo’s I shared on my Pinterest Board, titled, My Illnesses….pluses and minuses.
This has always been a bad list for me.
Do I assume my necessities are taken care of, like food, water, shelter…ect? Do I assume I have my husband and my pets? Because if I need all of that, then there goes the 10 things right there!
I was once asked, “You were stranded on a desert island, you were allowed to take all your necessities, you forgot one important item, what would you freak out about?” My first thought….”I hope it wasn’t my toothbrush!” Strange thing, if I’m stuck and could only brush or floss, I’d floss. so what was I thinking? Take care of those gums! Silly girl! I guess I should have said, drinkable water, or something smart like that, but I kind of assume you could find that somewhere. Am I naive?
So for this question, I’m going to assume I have everything that is necessary for life….I mean to sustain life. And all my medications and such, including my hearing aid, and glasses. But only list those things I feel I couldn’t live without, even though technically I could. (and I’m not including my loved ones, or my dental hygiene products, we know how I feel about that, I’m going to assume those are all included, this wouldn’t be much fun if all you read was a bunch of list about, oh I’d take my husband, my cat, my son……)….So let’s have more fun than that. Yes I think I’ll be listing more, what semi-luxuries could I not live without! (Please Note! The Main thing in my life I could not LIVE without is my HUSBAND! But anyone who knows anything about me, knows that!!)
In no particular order:
You know I thought I’d have trouble with 10….but I could go on….however, I think I’d be going into the territory I said I wouldn’t.
Oh NO! I didn’t mention any of my art supplies. I could go NO WHERE without a drawing pad and pens!!! NO WHERE!!! What to leave off???? Or do I assume that were in with the necessities of life? They would be for me you know?
Now that will take some serious thought.
With Meniere’s I have fluctuation hearing loss, with eventual permanent hearing loss.
If you are a regular reader you know my situation, if not I’ll fill you in.
Right now, my left ear has 0% word recognition and cannot be helped with a hearing aid, my right aid has about 80% word recognition with the help of a hearing aid. However, the hearing fluctuates. My hearing fluctuates more with weather changes, and when I have a Meniere’s attack. (to learn more about Meniere’s please see the page above).
One day a few weeks ago I woke up and could barely hear. Every sound sounded like it was coming through a busted speaker. The same went on for 3 days. I admit this had me concerned. When I lost the hearing in my left ear, the majority was lost in just 3 short months. The loss started in this fashion. Sounding like a busted speaker, having a tinny sound. Normally, in my right ear when the hearing fluctuated, it simply dropped, then would return, sometimes not quite all the way, but when it dropped, it was just a bit softer, not this tinny sound. So I was nervous. And I realize, this could still be a sign of potential nerve damage.
However, in about 3 or 4 days, I had a vertigo attack. Classic sign of a Meniere’s attack. Fluctuating hearing, then a vertigo attack, ending in complete exhaustion. When I woke the next day. I could hear again! I was so thrilled. I had a horrible headache, but I could hear. Who knows how long this hearing may last. I decided to do something I rarely do, I took much medication to get my headache under control, and went outside hoping to hear some birds. Sadly I didn’t hear any birds. I was not the right time of the day. But being outside was so nice. I decided to sit on the back porch and enjoy the beautiful spring late afternoon. Soon I was joined by a friend.
A huge bumble bee decided I would make a good friend. I was out on the back porch for at leash half an hour possibly more, this lovely bumble bee kept me company the entire time. He would come closer, then go a little bit away. He faced me, then raced away and buzzed right back. I talked to him and told him how beautiful he was and how I was out there hoping to hear things I may not hear much longer. As if he could hear me, he came up right beside my head, I could not only HEAR this beautiful Bumble Bee BUZZ, I felt it!! He then came around in front of me and looked at me. I know, this was just by chance, and perhaps because I had on a bright orange shirt. However, no matter how long I live, and no matter if I lose all of my hearing, I will never forget the day I heard a bee buzz.
The very first thought that came to my mind when I woke this morning after 4 hours and some odd minutes of sleep was, “I feel like a Rat in a Pink Inflatable Cage.”
The next thought I had was, “Where did that come from?” Then I realized, that is exactly how I feel.
I’m the clinical rat being tested on and pocked and prodded, trying to find the answers. I’m living with that, I accepted it, authorized it. I understand doctor’s don’t know everything, and not every person reacts to everything the same way. But why the Pink Inflatable Cage? That was a new sensation, well kind of, it does happen now and then. I had the feeling I was just kind of in a big bouncy house. Everywhere I moved things moved just a bit with me. But the vision it was so perfect. I had to share even if I can’t quite express it in the perfect words..
Now for why I had such a short amount of sleep. I was put on a dose of steroids yesterday to help knock out my migraines. I started them a bit too late in the day, so my last dose was a bit too late. I’ve taken steroids before, but I’ve never had the symptoms so many warn you of. The increased appetite, the restlessness, the bouncing off the walls!!! Well I did find out I don’t quite jump off the walls quite as much if I eat with the dose, but I have to eat a good amount. Whew! But I learned this a bit too late. I got to sleep around 6am, around 10am, I awoke to start the next days doses a bit earlier. I really need to make sure I finish my last dose a while before sleep time. So today I’ll be finished about 9pm. Yay! Hopefully, I’ll get a whole nights sleep. Oh, I did happen to get a 2 hour nap. So I had a little more sleep today.
*I wanted to remind everyone that I’m participating in The Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge hosted by WEGO Health. Starting on April 1st. So my posts may seem a bit different. There will be some of my normal talk in there, but I’m going to follow some of their prompts to make it something different. I’ve already written some of the posts, and I think you will find some of them enjoyable! I’ve enjoyed some of them. A couple I did enjoy, but I know won’t be the style of many of my readers. I know you are thinking….”She’s already started?” Yes! I wanted to make sure if I had a day that I simply couldn’t post, there would be a post ready to go out. I also wanted to make sure if there was a day I felt good and wanted to and have a happy day, I didn’t want to be concerned that I might not get a post in. So yes, I’ve started. No I don’t have the whole month finished! But the first week is ready to go, and a few more are in the works. Aren’t you proud of me???
Remember you too can join me, if you are brave enough…or crazy enough, I’m not sure which. All you have to do to join is sign up here: http://info.wegohealth.com/HAWMC2012 and you’ll be able to start posting once April rolls around.
I hope you enjoy the month, if you don’t please let me know and I won’t participate again. If you want to hear more of my normal rants, let me know, remember these prompts are just suggestions, I can always post my normal way. This blog has always been a way for me to express my feelings and to help others along the way. I never want to stray from that purpose. Please let me know what you think. And keep in mind, this is just for a month, so let’s play if we can stand it, we might make some new friends, and we might learn a bit.
But I’m open- let me know what you think.
I’ll probably put up a poll at the end of the month to see what everyone thought. : )
So…Yesterday I was having another icky headache day.
I hadn’t been able to hear well for days. The day before I had vertigo for hours. Not bad, throw up for hours vertigo, just a slow spin that made me nauseous and was most annoying, but was better if I focused up close. I could not find a position I was not having vertigo, I also had the other things that often go along with my Meniere’s attacks. Diarrhea, and those wonderful hot moments, and the complete exhaustion. So I’m thinking possibly it was a Meniere’s attack, not Intracranial Hypertension. Especially after what I realized next:
I was lying in bed and realized I can hear today. Not tinny sounds, no strange warp. just hearing! Clear sounds! I decided to take control! (and I have been feeling completely out of control of everything in my life, so this was a major thing!) I decided to dope myself up. I hate to take too much migraine medication or pain medication because I do not want to get dependent on it, or have rebound headaches. But yesterday, I decided to take a rescue medication, and a pain pill, and carried a second pain pill with me in case I needed it. I also carried emergency Meniere’s med’s so I was prepared, to venture outside.
Yes, I wanted to go outside to possibly hear a bird. After all, who knows how long this hearing will last? Unfortunately, it was the wrong time of day to really hear a bird. Some people were just starting to come home from work and things like that. It was such a pretty day. I sat on the porch, I’d told Stuart I’d bring my phone outside with me in case I needed him, he said “I’ll do better than that” and out he comes with me. I was a bit sad, all I heard were cars, and sirens. Human made sounds. Stuart said, “I think I may have heard a bird.” BIG MISTAKE! I said, in a much nicer tone than I was thinking…because I was feeling kind of raw about my hearing…”Ummm. Please don’t do that.” “What?” “Don’t point out to me things you can hear that I can’t. That’s not helping the moment, do you understand that?” He said he did, and we went on to do some other things. I will talk about…but may I say, he later did point out another sound he heard. I know at that time it wasn’t, ‘I know you are trying to hear this thing so I’ll point it out so you can listen and maybe hear it. It was more…Oh, I’m excited I’m hearing this, I grew up in a place where we didn’t hear sounds like this. So I over looked it. And I did hear it, but if I hadn’t, it would have hurt. Even if I have excepted it, there are little things that I’m feeling sad about. Just not knowing. Will I ever hear you again?
However, as I said, we did a little more. Stuart planned to sit out on the porch and work while I enjoyed the day. I asked if he could hand me my pots of herbs. I have 12 -14 pots. I can’t remember how many exactly. I know I grew 11 different herbs last year, but I had a couple duplicates, and one died. So I’m thinking somewhere between 12 and 14. He brought them to me one by one. Many had started to come back. Some I didn’t think were annuals. I guess we had such a mild winter they just didn’t die all the way. The Bee Balm (not technically an herb, but I grow it in with them, the bees like it.) is already 6 inches high and very, very full. It never bloomed last year, I think we’ll see some flowers this year. The mints are doing well. I cleaned out the dead branches in their pots and aerated the roots. So more peppermint, spearmint, and lemon balm (yes in the mint family) this year. The Lemon Balm has also taken off. There is a full pot of it already! YAY! It keeps the mosquitoes and other bugs at bay. I need to make sure it’s beside my Basil so the Japanese Beetles will leave it alone. I really hate those things. They aren’t very smart though. If they do find the basil, I just move it, and it takes them a while before they find it again, so I move it again. Stupid bugs, but they can strip a plant….oh they don’t like oregano either. so I put the Basil between the Lemon Balm and Oregano. Great deterrents! The Thyme came back! And of course the Rosemary never left. The lavender kind of went all gray and looked dead, now it’s looking like it’s turning green. I think I should have cut it back. I had a lavender plant before that stayed green all winter, this must be a different variety. So I have a few things to replace…like the Basil, and marjoram, think we may try Chocolate Mint this year, just because it sounds so decadent, not sure what else I may put in.
I may not be able to keep a garden, but my herb garden. I just have to do it. I have to feel that much in control. Just a little. (and please oh please, let me be able to start cooking again soon!!)
Stuart did take a break from working, and cleaned out the little flower bed, got the day lilies ready to bloom, and got the bed ready to add some compost. So he will add a little compost and some flower seeds this weekend, and we will have our little wild flower garden surrounding our herb garden pots. Minimal fuss, and muss, it just has to be watered. (and I’m thinking about paying the next door neighbors boys to do it when we are having a rough time. They should be 12 -14 now, I think they can be responsible, and she’d like it. One is her nephew/ adopted son, and one is her foster son. A great family. She was one of our sponsors when we were going to foster.)
OH….I did hear some insects making those noises they do. And a very big BUMBLE BEE thought I was very interesting, and buzzed me! REALLY! Oh Goodness Gracious, I had a Bumble Bee talk to me. I have an upcoming post about it.
So control. I’m working on feeling like I have a little bit more back.
I tried to start dinner today. I was feeling pretty good, and almost fell out in the kitchen. This bitch is weak! So how much is the head crap…granted I did start feeling like I had a very SMOOSHY HEAD, but how much is me just being so weak? We went by the grocery store on the way home from the doctor today, we left and Stuart asked if I could carry these two light bags, no problem…after a very short distance. BIG PROBLEM. I was soon swearing at Stuart, “I don’t know why you can’t ever roll the ($*%ing cart out to the car anyway!” He keeps telling me to give them to him. NO, he had enough, and I had them. I’m dying, the muscles in my shoulders are screaming. Then I think, well if I have to lift these thing put them to use, and start using them as weights to tighten muscles I need tightening.
And now it is about 8 hours or so later, and I am so sore I can barely move. From carrying LIGHT grocery bags, and cutting up a chicken!! what has my body been reduced to?
But I am determined to take more control over more of my life. I don’t like feeling like I’m not in control of anything!
Today I saw the headache pain specialist (neurologist specializing in headaches). She is changing up a bunch of medications. Taking me off 2, adding 1, and putting me on a round of steroids to see if we can’t knock this headache OUT, and give me a fresh start! I’m feeling good about the changes. Unfortunately, it’s going to take a while to ramp off the meds I’m on, ramp up on the new meds, and get it all sorted out.
Dr. Gray wants to do another Lumbar Puncture. I’ve decided not to go that route. I’ve decided to wait and see what this medication does first.
A little Control.
it feels good.
My new friend Mary, will be proud of me. (I know my many other friends will also be proud of me, but Mary and I were just talking about this yesterday.)
This whole brain thing is interesting. One moment I’m doing pretty good, then, like today, I started feeling a bit woozy, not unusual. I ask Stuart to help me move upstairs. He got my computer and stuff said he’d be back to help me. I thought, I’m not that bad yet, I can go upstairs. So I start. I get to the top of the stairs, and my head pounds…this seems to happen a lot, my pressure must raise when I climb stairs. Then I walk a few steps and start to lose control over my legs. I just kind of flop like a rag doll. My head flops, my arms flop, my legs don’t want to listen to me….My body just doesn’t want to listen. I think I almost killed Stuart, he did not expect to hold all of my weight all of a sudden, he expected to just guide me because I was staggering. We got me to the bed, I decided I have to pee now. Of course, I am headstrong, and I have more control over my head now, and little more control over the rest, and I knew if I laid down, I wouldn’t be getting back up. So I’m determined with minimal help, I’m going to pee. He holds me, “No. I DO IT!” He lets go…I slide down…he grabs me, I grab for the sink….”I DO it! OK….I inch my way there….and grab the wall and can’t pull my pants down. Uhhhhh….*little bitty voice now* can you help? He does, and I pee. Yay!!! I kick my jeans off (we’d had an appointment earlier), we get me back to bed. A little easier, my control is coming back, and get me into a t-shirt. I lie down, and he says, I’m taking blahbla *yeah not hearing well* down stairs I’ll be back *at least that’s what I got* OK. So a little latter, I call out. “You upstairs?”
He comes in. I say in a very calm voice. “I’m having vertigo, I thought you should know, just in case.”
So that was my afternoon.
I have been feeling somewhat better, on and off. So we have thought the medication has been working.
However, I’ve been under a huge amount of stress, not just my illness…so much more. I could probably do a bullet list, but I’ll share one big one. (Please if you are sensitive to pet issues, do not read this. Or if you do, please know ahead of time, it has a happy ending – as much as it can be for a very, very old dog. But she’s happy and fine, don’t worry.)
Last Saturday, we decided to go for a ride, just get me out of the house. It was a lovely ride. We had a nice lunch outside, and came home. We weren’t gone over 2 hours. When we got home, our dog got very excited, as usual. You know how dogs can get. It’s precious. Unfortunately, Sandy is a small dog and has a collapsed trachea. It’s common in toy breeds, but Sandy’s about 22lbs, so not that small. However, she has it none the less. When she gets excited, she breathes fast, this causes her trachea to close, literally choking her. She started to cough. We tried to calm her. She staggered while coughing to her pad to pee. She fell down. Went rigid, threw her head back and yelped a few times…she was seizing. Then she stopped, everything. She stopped breathing. I started to breathe for her. She didn’t start breathing on her own. She voided her bowels. We really thought we’d lost her. I couldn’t find a pulse, but that’s really hard for me to do anyway. So I started CPR. After about 5 -6 rounds, she stuck her tongue out and licked, took a deep breath, and started to groggily move her head. She came back to us. We took her to the Emergency Vet. But now we have to try to keep her calm. She can still show she’s happy, but no running, so jumping, not getting overly excited. I feel like we are being forced to take a little bit of her personality away. But she is 19, and she still seems happy. The vet says she’s in no pain, and she shows so much love. We do have a huge problem with incontinence, and realize we will have to replace all the carpet in the house at some point. But for now. We have our lover dog. She has bladder cancer (but they can’t even feel the tumor), Alzheimer’s, cataracts, hearing impairment, and well she’s just plain old. But she’s happy, she loves us, and she is in no pain. So for now, all is good.
However, a big stressor! And this isn’t the only one!
The more stress I have, the more I can feel my symptoms increase. I’ve never been a big believer when doctors say,”you’re just under too much stress”. I’ve often felt that was a cop-out. And sometimes I still think it is, after all. life is stress. There is no way around it. But recently, I’ve had more than my share I think. Way too many tears have been shed, and I’ve been way too tense over situations I have no control over.
I can’t help but wonder if what happened on Thursday had anything to do with the culmination of stress I’ve been under. On Wednesday night I couldn’t lie down to sleep without having a very bad headache, so I attempted to sleep sitting up. Not the easiest thing to do. Needless to say, it was a fitful night. I woke in the morning, still needing more sleep, but feeling pretty decent. I decided to travel downstairs and surprise Stuart by making some rolls for breakfast. Just a mix, nothing fancy. However, I never made this mix before, and it was the most annoying thing. It may as well have said, we give you the gluten-free flour, you provide the rest. Then it said to roll out gluten-free dough! What? If you’ve ever worked with GF dough you know you get a very sticky mess, try to roll it out, and you get a glob on your rolling-pin. I knew this and tried different things. I have a short temper these days, I get very irritated easily, and then cry. So I decided to just spoon the stuff in muffin cups and bake it, if it tasted cinnamony, then we had a success….I did not care what it looked like. That was a very good thing. They were very ugly, but okay. Not a mix I’ll buy again, and very glad it was not expensive! But a nice surprise.
Then I took it upstairs to Stuart, still asleep. As I was climbing the stairs my headache began to get worse. Bu I was so proud of my ugly cinnamon muffin thing. I crawled in bed and laid the muffin thing beside Stuart and he woke up with a big smile. He loves cinnamon. He looked at me, “You made this?” I smiled. “Wow” I felt good, and proud…and then the headache got worse. I took something, and Stuart went to make more for breakfast. He came back, I ate, and took pain and nausea meds. I took migraine meds. I’d already taken the medication for the pressure. The headache climbed rapidly soon I couldn’t focus, I was gagging but nothing was coming up. I had ice packs on my head. My headache had risen to a category 10 – go to the ER. But I couldn’t go. I just couldn’t.
It scared me so much the thought of strange doctors treating me. With everything that’s going on and my confusion…I just couldn’t think clearly, I couldn’t go. NO. I was screaming from the pain, and the fear. It took over 2 hours to get the pain level down to a tolerable level. During this time I was panicking, feeling claustrophobic, confused, paranoid….ect. It was a horrifying afternoon. My head hurt so much for the rest of the day. But as long as we can get it to a category 8 or under I can handle it. Truthfully, I’d rather take the medication I have at home, and not go to the ER and have them give me other medications which I am not familiar with. Who knows what side effects they may cause. So many pain medications make me throw up. I just don’t want to go through it. And I do not want anyone to ever accuse me of drug seeking.
So, we’ve been playing tag with Dr. Gray for a few days. We’ll get in touch soon I’m sure. The headaches are better today. But still constantly never under a 5. The medication is working to a certain degree. The side effects, are not comfortable. I think we need to figure something out. Unfortunately, there are only 2 medications to treat this disorder. If they don’t work you get a shunt. That’s it. It’s a rare, not a lot of research money spent on it. I hate being on this part of the journey…wait and see. Increase the dose. Add this drug, adjust this amount…ect….wait and see. Dang it all, I want to feel better. Remember when you were little you got sick, you went to the doctor and they gave you some medicine and you felt better. Why isn’t it that easy any more?
You may read my blog from your email, and haven’t even seen it….but if you have, you may have said…”she’s at it again!”
and yes I am….I just didn’t like it. Too busy, and I didn’t like the page color.
So many things I can’t change on Word Press.
And I don’t have Photoshop right now, I’ve been trying to use Gimp…but I’m so lost with that program it were a real book I would have torn it to shreds by now. Ugh!!!
I miss Photoshop, I need to buy it, but I need to buy a teacher or student version…I really can’t afford the off the rack price. whew. That’s like the difference between designer clothes and thrift store, for the same goods! I just don’t get it!
So for now I wait.
Did you know on WordPress you have Pay to change the CSS on your blog? You have to pay to change your font….yes thank you can get around that one by writing in Word then copying over, but not all fonts copy over right. And I’m lazy. I’m just shocked at all the things that are now considered “upgrades” that used to be free. I know this is a commerce driven world, but it makes me sad when you start with something because it offers certain features free, then it changes. And I’m sorry, I’m not paying $30 a year to be able to customize my blog. Heck I can’t even do it, I’d have to get my hubby or my friend Vincent to do it. And I’d only do it about once a year, tops. If I found the perfect look, I’d probably change very few things ever again!
OK….So, I hope you won’t think ill of me during this transition time. I like the retro look. I’m going to try to put little ants in the header, and that will probably be it for a while. If I can get that done.
Symptom Update: My headaches, had decreased, but recently every time I go to sleep when I wake up I have a blinding headache, like a white light pierces my brain, the intensity doesn’t last for long…but the headache doesn’t go less than a category 6. So I’m a bit icky most of the day. But it’s better than it was!
Visual problems are better. The one that has really stuck around is the…oh I don’t know how to describe it…not only can I not see white on black very well, the white looks gray, but black doesn’t look black-black. It has this variable tone. Everything looks a little off in tonal values. Which is very odd for me. But I can still tell what color is what, I’m not color blind!! Yay! I just can’t tell if they have white or black added to them.
Very tired. But not sure if it’s the disorder or the meds, both can cause it.
The Meniere’s has been staying away. I think the surgery in December worked for that. The hearing in my left ear, is still gone. Right is more sloshy. Had that hearing aid adjusted and I keep asking Stuart, “what’s that noise?” and telling him to stop yelling at me. Funny huh? Now, which will come first, the cochlear implant of the shunt? Each are inevitable, it’s just which one makes its requirement known first. Of course, the shunt could be much more important for health reasons, but who knows how long the medication may work. So much to consider, so much out of my hands. (don’t you hate that?)
That’s all for today. Hope everyone is enjoying the First Day of Spring. (I don’t feel like we had a Winter.) Everything is blooming at once, my allergies have gone mad!!
I should be saving these for next month. : )
Recently, there have been a few fellow bloggers who felt I deserved an award, or two…
unfortunately, I have been remiss at acknowledging the compliment. Please do not think the honor has been felt any less deeply. I simply have not had the time nor the stamina to do the honors justice.
Today I attempt to do so.
Each time someone feels that my blog touches them in some small way, and they pass an award my way, I get a tingle from my head to my toes, and a little tear in my eye. Needless to say, I am touched very deeply.
Each award deserves an individual post, but I’m going to cheat a little and combine 2 in this post. I hope they will not feel slighted, and you will not feel overwhelmed.
First an award I have received before – The Versatile Blogger Award. On December 23, 2011, I posted about Mo from Day by Day with Addison girl honoring me with the Versatile Blogger Award, today I write to THANK the Bipolar Muse, and Fiona from The Agoraphobic Blog. I’m honored these lovely ladies also felt that I deserved this award. I must be a very Versatile Chick huh? *giggle* I hope no one minds, but since I followed all the ruled the first time, let’s say it covered all of the awards..please. You see, I’m really not that interesting. Plus, how much about me do you not already know. Really??
So on to the next award. The Sunshine Award. Again, I’d like to say, I am very humbled and honored to receive an award. To know my words have touched another. Why else do we make our blogs public? Fortunately the Bipolar Muse had been recognized a lot the past few months, and she has shared her honors with many of the bloggers who have touched her. Thank you once again Bipolar Muse for thinking of me!!
Now for the duties for this award:
First step:
Thank the person that nominated you and in my case this is Bipolar Muse. Done. But I would like to say, her poetry is like silk that often slips through my fingers only to wrap around me in soft coolness to comfort me. Sometimes, unsettling, but always honest. Thinking of her, I came to the realization that Tears are the Elixir of the Muses.
Second step:
Share some tidbits about yourself….that you don’t know…ooooo, hard one…
Favorite color:
First thought YELLOW! But I do like other colors, but yellow makes me happy. I smile whenever I see it. It is the happiest of all colors for me, and I appreciate, many, many colors!!
Favorite animal:
My animals. Sandy Dog and Max the Cat.
Favorite number:
ummmm, 2 I think….or 7….I like the shape of those numbers, they are close to the same….and my birthday is 7 – 2
Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink:
Water – then, Mandarin Orange Iced Tea Unsweetened. It would only be better if I could get it without caffeine.
Facebook or Twitter:
A little Facebook, and even less Twitter, I’m not into social media. Too sterile for me.
My Passion:
Hubby, Helping, Furry babies, in a way my blog – which leads back to helping….getting better…staying positive…learning more….LIFE
Favorite day of the week:
Any day I get to spend the whole day with my hubby. No work, no chores for him. Just us. Not thinking about what needs to be done, or me being sick.
Favorite Flower:
Daisies, Sun Flowers, Black Eyed Susie’s, Gerber Daisies, and Calla Lillie’s like I carried at my wedding.
I will pass the Sunshine Award on to the following blogs:
There are so many deserving blogs….those who put Sunshine in my Life!! I decided to choose a few people who have really reached out to me lately since I have gotten this new diagnosis, (don’t think I have felt slighted by anyone, these people have made me laugh) And one person who probably has no idea I exist. I often miss her post because for some reason I can’t get WP to email updates to me, but she is special, and she is inspiring, and you should check her out!! Especially if you have Meniere’s or hearing loss.
In no particular order:
Sunshine and Chaos (she has sunshine in the name, she had to get the award!)
Hearing Elmo (this woman is amazing! check out her blog. she has a Meniere’s, a cochlear implant, and a service dog…and the best attitude ever!)
The Agoraphobic Blog (Fiona will share tissue needed emails with me, and turn around and we’ll share silly poop songs! And she just got MARRIED! Thank you for the Shaky Dance.)
It has taken me at least 3 days to get this post together. Please, no tears. People keep telling me that my posts are making them cry. Please do not cry. We never know what is going to happen. How things will end up. I’m sure that I will be able to get through this. I’m a pretty strong person, and I pretty darn resourceful. Plus I have one more Award to talk about.
Don’t let this get you down. Remember I have a great team of doctors. Had the nerves checked in my eyes checked on Friday all is looking fine. No damage. We upped the medication. Today is a rough day, but the weather changed, and it’s hormone time….so it could just be normal migraines. It just hurts, that’s what I know. : )
Docs are learning a lot from me. Who knows, they may be able to save someone else from going though so many tests and maybe they can find a new treatment because of me. maybe, just maybe. That would be nice. I’ll be fine. Yes, things will be different, but I will adapt, that’s what humans do.
*smile*
So, Don’t cry for me….and you have no idea how much I want to say “Argentina…… hahahaha
We’ll talk more later.
A friend of mine, who is also going through having Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertention,because of her pregnancy. (Hopefully, her’s will go away after the baby is delivered.) posted this on Facebook for me…..I thought you might like to see it, but truthfully, I had no idea how add a video to my blog.
Hhahahaha
So I asked one of my blogging buddies who puts videos on her WordPress blog all the time and is going to school for IT stuff. (Thanks Fiona) I hope it worked!
(I must confess, I thought I’d already posted this before I got her instructions and you would have just gotten a link to the video. Then I looked today, and there it still is, unpublished! Ha! How lucky! Now you can see the video embedded in the blog. It is very well done, and not terribly long, I hope you enjoy it.
I read something about Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertention last night, and I had a light bulb moment. They used to call this, a pseudo tumor. Because it acts like a tumor. I heard that but it didn’t really sink in as to what it meant. Then the doctor, who I was reading explained, it causes the same symptoms as a brain tumor. I thought, “Oh Shit!” This really isn’t good. A friend of mine had a brain tumor, she really only had horrible headaches then they took it out through her nose! She’s doing great now! I thought….I’d rather have that. (then I felt kind of guilty. But…ummm, if her’s never comes back, she got off a bit easier don’t ya think? I’m sure she’d agree, I know she would actually.) I am such a bitch lately. But I do love this friend, she has been a good friend to me through all of this and I didn’t mean I’d switch with her, I’d just like to have something easier to cure. Or be able to cure at all!
But there are options, I’m in good hands. Called Dr. Kaylie’s office today, well Stuart did. and he said if I needed a shunt I’d be getting an LP shunt. Meaning it would be attached at the Lumbar Puncture site, not to my brain, so it would not interfere with the cochlear implant. So I will never be completely deaf! Whew! One thing less to worry about.
Stuart also asked about disability, Dr. Kaylie said to just send him the paperwork. My psych. said the same thing. I think I might have a chance at this. A vestibular specialist, a psychiatrist, a neruoradiologist, and a neurologist…and possibly an orthopedist all saying I can’t work. Someone should listen. But I was just looking at the paperwork, and it asked, what date I could no longer work. Heck, I don’t know. When I finally completely stopped working, it was because Stuart got a job in California. I had gone from full-time to a part-time job where I only worked 15 -20 hours a week, and made my own hours. I also went from being a Custom Picture Frame Shop Manager to merchandising greeting cards. Because that was all I could do…and it hurt like hell. I was already having trouble with my hip, and had to quit my framing job because of the Meniere’s. So when we moved to CA, we decided I’d just pay attention to my health. Then I was never able to go back to work. I tried one Christmas to work in a retail store a couple of days a week. I lasted 3 days and couldn’t stand after that for over a week. I had surgery shortly after that. So what date do I put down? When could I no longer work….what magical date? I kept trying and trying damn it! Hell, just last year I worked for 1 week answering the phones for Stuart’s job, but I couldn’t even do that now.
Stuart’s ready to ask a lawyer to handle the whole thing, but that can get expensive can’t it? I don’t even care about the money. I just want to have the label. That sounds kind of sick. But there are advantages through the ADA and other organizations if I am officially declared disabled. Plus, I need to accept it. The money would be helpful. don’t get me wrong, but right now, there are more important reasons I need to have this done.
I have really begun to hate WordPress.
There is a button at the top of my screen, “Congratulations, you win the prize! The chance to take our 5 second survey : )” so I clicked it….It asked if I would reccommend WordPress to my friends and family, I said 0 – Not on your life…it comes back saying I’m not an authorized user for this Dashboard. What? I’m using the Dashboard! You )%(%*^&$. I went to the Users tab, and I’m the only authorized user? What do they want? That’s just strange.
I can’t get any Theme to look like I want.
They want me to PAY to change the size of my Font! I didn’t realize this before, but now that I’m visually impaired, it makes a difference. (and it’s killer to read white on black now, I see gray on Black and it’s very hard, I had to change my other blog.) I feel horrible, some blogs I’ve been reading a long time, now, it’s so hard. There are some I can still read, but I can’t read their side bars. I guess that’s OK. I used to love a black background. Heck, my Create To Heal blog still has one. But since the font is so big and a bit yellow I can still read it, but I may have to change it.
I want to say right now!! IF ANYONE HAS ANY TROUBLE READING MY BLOGS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I WILL GLADLY CHANGE THE COLOR AND (IF I CAN) THE FONT OR FONT SIZE) I am writing to WordPress today about my concerns about the font sizes. I do not like that I have to hit Control + to make my screen bigger so I can read my own blog!
I’m not happy with the look of my blog right now.
Not cute enough.
Not Wendy enough.
But I don’t want to change from Word Press, I’m afraid I will lose my followers…and those who are just now finding me through the WEGO Health Activist thingy.
what to do.
WordPress, really wants me to pay for everything. I can’t do that.
*sad face*
I’ll figure out something. I’m sure I will, I’ve come up with some kind of cute looks. We’ll see.
Hope to surprise you with a new look soon!
Picnic with Ants 