Tag: Meniere’s Disease

5 challenges, 5 small victories #HAWMC Day 27

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness7 Comments

Prompt for today:  5 Challenges. 5 Small Victories. Make a list of the 5 most difficult parts of your health focus. Make another top 5 list for the little, good things (small victories) that keep you going.

I think this is a very good prompt, and normally I’d be able to write it very easily, but the depression I’m feeling right now will make this more difficult.  (yes depression, but it’s deserved, I’m not clinically depressed at the moment.  I’ve had a lot to deal with, and the loss of a loved one, so I’m depressed.  Please no worries about my sanity. *smiles*)

A Difficult Challenge - Deciding on treatments.

5 Challenges – 5 Most Difficult Parts of My Health Focus

  1. The constant changing.  Things seem to be settling down, and wham I either get new symptoms or a whole new diagnosis.
  2. Making hard decisions.  Do I get the surgery that may help?  Do I try to live in the deaf world?  Do I take this drug even though it has some harsh side effects?  Do I get another opinion…..
  3. Keeping Positive.  OK, I’m not doing this very well right now, but it will get better.  I know it will.  (there see still positive! I just think it will take longer this time.)
  4. Risking leaving home.   This sounds like I’m afraid to leave home, and sometimes I am.  I have vertigo attacks with no warning.  If I’m more than 30 minutes from home and have an attack start, it terrifies me.
  5. How to keep my caregiver from burning out – How to keep my marriage strong through all of this.
A small victory, a night when I can cook.

 

5 Small Victories – 5 list for the little, good things that keep you going.

  1. For dealing with the constant changes.  I decided long ago that life isn’t going to be as I expected, so I decided to change my expectations.  I’m usually pretty flexible now at thinking, well this will change some things…what will it do, and how can I change to keep myself going.   (I will admit here, I’ve had a new diagnosis that has thrown me for a bit of a loop, the treatments are hard, the decisions are hard.  I haven’t quite gotten to the point where I feel I can think about my new expectations, I simply don’t know what to expect…but when I do, things will fall in order I’m sure.)
  2. Making hard decisions is still difficult, but I feel better about it because I know how to look up many resources, I know other people (on-line) who have the same issues I have so I can ask them what their experiences have been, and I’m very lucky to have a husband who helps me weigh the pros and cons and is able to look at things objectively.  However, he always leaves the final decisions up to me.
  3. Keeping Positive.  –  This hasn’t been a hard thing for me until recently.  I get a bit upset about things when things change…I’ll have a pity party.   Then I say “Enough!”  And start thinking of how I can stay positive.  I think of things I can still do.  I think of others who are going through the same thing, and know many of them help me see that it can be alright, and I want to help others know that too.   Yes, again, recently this has been hard.  I’ve had a lot dumped on me in a relatively short period of time.  I’ve lost a lot.  But I have no doubt that I will get back to the positive me.   I still believe in living every day you feel well enough to the fullest.  Even if that means just sitting out in the backyard.  Do not take things for granted.  And try to think of something you are grateful for every day.  Sometimes I write the same thing every day for a few days because that’s all I’m feeling grateful for that I can think of….but other days I can list many things.   (Toni Bernhard’s book How to be Sick, has helped me keep positive thoughts, and helped me to look at things a bit differently…I highly recommend it!)
  4. I risk going out of the house much more than I used to.  I’m still afraid of having an attack, but I carry an emergency kit with me all the time.  It contains emergency meds, water, wash cloths, small trash bags to throw up in, some Zip-Loc bags to put cloths in after being sick…..things like that.   I’m still a bit leery about going more than 30 minutes from home.   When I have an attack it is not pretty.  I feel humiliated and degraded.  I can’t stop throwing up, I can’t walk, I often have diarrhea, and cannot control my urine.  So I recently decided if I’m going on a longer trip, I will need to wear disposable adult incontinent panties….just in case.  If I have an attack in public, I do not want to be mortified by strangers seeing me defecate and wet myself.  I also always carry emergency medication for migraines.    These measures may seem a bit drastic to some, but it has made it so I can go out and not be terrified that if I have an attack I will be left with no help.  I also carry my phone with me all the time and it has an emergency button if I need to call 911.  I won’t be able to hear them, but I can tell when they pick up and tell them what is happening, and where I am.
  5. Making sure my caregiver takes care of himself, and keeping our marriage strong.  This has been a bit difficult.  My husband will not admit that caring for me wears on him.  He will say sometimes he feels weary then he thinks about what I’m going through and it goes away.  He also says it is an honor to care for me.  He loves me so much, he feels honored that I trust him so much with so much that he has to see.  He never gets grossed out, and always makes me feel loved, even during the most degrading moments.   We keep our marriage strong ….in many ways.  I thank him every day for the things he does, and when I can do things, I do.  I try to do little things he really likes, for example when I can cook, I try to make things I know he loves, and that is healthy.   In many ways my being sick has brought our marriage closer.  One BIG thing we do, we see a counselor together.  Sometimes we individually go in, but normally we are together.  We can say things there and it’s safe, and if we thought it might hurt the other, she can defuse it and make us understand where it’s coming from.  This has made a HUGE difference in how we treat each other.

We also take advantage of my good days. We even try hard on the bad days.  We always show each other that we care.  We curl up together, we massage each other (I admit I get more than I  give here), we go for drives together….and on special nights when I’m really feeling good, we go on a date.

 

This was easier than I thought it would be.  I do still have some positive outlooks still in me.  Yes, I’m depressed, but I should be, as I said before.  I think the only reason I haven’t been able to deal with the latest diagnosis (Intracranial Hypertension) is that I’m getting conflicting news from different doctors in my team.  And I just don’t know what’s going on with this….my migraine specialist thinks most of my symptoms are caused by migraines.  So the IH, may not be a big deal right now.  But the medication for it is still helping, so that says I should have it….but I’m confused.  So confused.  But I’m positive, it will get better.

So yes, this was a good prompt.  It made me think about my health issues, and it made me look deeper about things than I had been.  I’ve only been dealing with the overwhelming emotions, not the thought process behind them.

So thanks WEGO HAWMC team for this prompt!

Daily Schedule #HAWMC Day 25

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness2 Comments

Today I’m using a prompt from the Extra prompts they sent us.

Daily Schedule. Write a list of your daily routine from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Be honest!

photo courtesy of istockphoto.com

Honestly, I don’t have a set schedule for any day. My days are ruled by my conditions. If I’m having a day filled with vertigo, or migraines I spend the day in bed. If my hearing is way down, I spend the day as alone as possible. I often have doctor’s appointments.  My days change from one to the next, a lot.  If I’m feeling a bit better, I do more….

Here’s a recent weekend day.

After a restless nights sleep I awake around 9am with a blinding headache. I’m seeing double, with shadow spots on the walls. I take the medication that should lower my CSF pressure(cerebrospinal fluid pressure), and wait to see if it will relieve the pain. My husband brings me some breakfast in bed, along with the rest of my morning medications. The headache has not eased. Finally, I decide I should take some migraine and pain medication also. I try to sleep some more, this time sitting up, hoping my CSF pressure will lessen.

Noon – The headache is still there but much better, I’m hungry, but not sure I’m steady enough to go down the stairs. My husband brings me lunch. I decide to check my email, and do some things on the computer. Focusing up close is much easier than focusing at a distance.

2pm – Time for my next CSF pressure pill. I’m feeling much better, and steadier. We decide to take advantage of this time feeling a bit better. I want to go to the local Co-Op to pick up vegetables and meat for dinners for the week. We had a good trip to the store, and a nice ride home.

4pm – Home. I’m tired just from the little bit of shopping we did, and the ride. I help put the groceries away, and start to plan dinner. I turn and feel the world move. Oh no.

5pm – 9:30pm I have vertigo. This vertigo is caused by the Intracranial Hypertension, not the Meniere’s. I can tell because if I keep my head in one position and concentrate on something still close to me I will stop spinning, but if I move, the vertigo returns. If I was having a vertigo attack from Meniere’s I would not be able to stop it, no matter what.

9:30pm I am completely exhausted from the vertigo attack. Finally, I can move. I eat a little something, and head to bed….with a lot of help from my husband.  Take my nightly medications, and try to sleep.

This is a somewhat normal day. I don’t always have vertigo. I do normally wake up with a blinding headache that often takes hours to get under control. And we always try to take advantage of any time that I’m feeling well enough to do something. (I know going grocery shopping doesn’t sound exciting to most, but I love to cook, so shopping for food is exciting to me.)

Don’t Forget!! #HAWMC Day 22

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness5 Comments

Today’s Prompt:   The Things We Forget. Visit http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/ and make your own version of a short memo reminder. Where would you post it?

Instead of creating a reminder on list on-line, I posted notes through-out my house.  Things we need to remember.

How many times have I forgotten to take my medication? Too many! Now I keep them all sorted by day and time to take, and have them where I won't miss them. Must remember to take my meds!
2 Things I have to remember before I can take a shower.
1 - Take my hearing aid out. Yes I have gotten in the shower and started to wet my hair and realized...Oh NO! I have my hearing aid in! Luckily no damage done, but this I must remember!
2. Because of the vertigo and disequilibrium, I cannot take a shower without someone near to hear me if I need help. I've fallen a few times, or ended up sitting on the shower floor just trembling in fear. I need to swallow my pride and ask my husband for help.
My hubby needs noise to sleep, so he leaves the bathroom fan on at night. This doesn't bother me because I take my hearing aid out. However, in the morning the first sound I want to hear when I put my hearing aid in is not a wind tunnel!!!! Since my hearing is distorted, the fan doesn't just sound like a little fan, it sounds like I'm in a huge wind storm. So honey, please remember to turn the fan off.

The 2 notes are on our front door, things we don't want to forger when going outside.
1 - I have an emergency kit made up in case I have an attack when I am out. This item we should never leave home without. Also I need to drink a lot of water with the medication I'm on, and I also need to have water close in case I have to take emergency pills. A Must that we Cannot Forget when leaving the house!
2 - I'm often spent by the evening, so Hubby needs to water the plant in the front. We have a small area with herbs, and some flowers. He often forgets to water. This has made for an unhappy wife. So Watering the Plants out front...Important not to forget!
Very Important, Every Day, a note to myself "Remember You are Loved!"

Wendy just write…. #HAWMC Day 12

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness2 Comments

Prompt for today Stream of Consciousness Day. Start with the sentence “_______”just write, don’t
stop, don’t edit.Post!

(written April 5th)

image courtesy of http://www.thechicagobridge.org/

“Wendy” just write, don’t stop, don’t edit. Post!

Stupid computer can’t figure out what I want to do Can’t get the dang program to close…ugh….can’t make a slideshow…I know I’ve done it before…why do I want to throw it out the window.

Heard from friend was nice, but it’s hard. Can’t do so much. Other friend told me I wasn’t a good friend because I didn’t keep in touch and didn’t make time for her when I was feeling good, she’s the busiest person I know, I looked back in my emails, the not getting together wasn’t all my fault..I apologized. A lot. But the reply I got back seemed so cold, so sterile. I just couldn’t put more of me out there…..not with everything, I just couldn’t. She wanted so much more than I could give. I want more..but when you can’t just chat on the phone, and people don’t like to email or take your written words wrong it’s so, so hard. And to see someone in their prime doing everything you will never be able to do and everything is about that, and all I can think about is my illness, what is left? I miss her…I miss them…but I have nothing….I really feel I have nothing to offer.  What can I offer.  I can’t even hear them to talk to them.  I focus on if I can get out of bed, brush my teeth, walk outside….maybe if I’m lucky a little more….what can I talk about to people who have a full life? a job, children, acitivites, friends, interests?  I’ve been so consumed with just staying alive the past 2 years. Well that’s stretching….Well no it’s not!

This past year I’ve been through so much…and I’ve persevered, and now I’m mad at me!!

I was told I was better, and would be better!!! Damn the doctors! How could they do that to me!

I had 5 months of a new life! A better life! No vertigo. I was moving on. I started to become a Foster Parent, I started to drive, I got a CAR! I was making a life….I didn’t think it would be ripped out from me.!  I was so busy….I didn’t think it would end…

After those 5 months I went through 7 more lumbar punctures SEVEN with 5 or 6 sets of patches down my spine. I spent about 6 months in bed with not only CSF problems but gut troubles too. I’ve gained nearly 60 lbs. I feel old, fat and ugly. I don’t like me any more….yet I do. I do. I’m proud of the way I’ve handled things.

I’ve had 2 in depth surgeries on my ears. Surgeries that took my ears almost completely off and drilled to my brain, and left holes in my skull the size of a 50cent piece.  But they worked…I think.
I’m now told I have high CSF pressure…Intracranial Hypertension. Serious, rare. My hearing in my “good” ear is almost gone.

Now I’m falling apart….and I’m angry at myself about it!!!?????

I’ve been so resilient, so adaptive, so….I can handle it.It may not be what I expected…so I’ll change what I expected…NOW….I’m just plain scared and mad.  I thought I was mad at everyone, I’m taking it out on everyone….But I’m so angry at me. I’m angry I’m not bouncing back, and I’m angry I’m not more tenacious, and I can’t do more and damnit….I’m angry that my body is doing this to me!  I’m angry I can’t lose weight….I’m MAD AS HELL!

I’m angry I’m sick! And I have to deal with it. I have been dealing with it. But right now…I’m not doing the best with that.  However, I know me, and I will. I’ll get it together, and get myself another lease on life.  Life is good.

I have such a good husband. It can’t be all bad. I must think of the good days.

My Sounds of Silence – #HAWMC Day 11

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness18 Comments

Today’s prompt, Theme song. Imagine your health focus or blog is getting its own theme song.
What would the lyrics be? What type of music would it be played to?

I happen to be losing my hearing due to Meniere’s Disease.  So music is very hard for me.  I can’t really hear it even with my hearing aid, sounds very tinny.  However, I have tinnitus all the time.  At this time I’m deaf in one ear, and have fluctuating loss in the other ear, the other day I was having a particularly low hearing day.  Deciding my hearing aid really wasn’t doing any good, I decided to just leave it out.  That day, I read this prompt.  I thought, I couldn’t have a song.  Then I thought, but even when I’m deaf I will hear sounds all the time.  NO, they won’t be sounds I want to hear, but I will hear sounds.

I talked with a friend of mine, Vincent Morrison,  who is a sound engineer.  He agreed to help me record something similar to what I hear every day. Please know, my tinnitus changes A LOT.  It varies constantly.  But these sounds always seem to be around.  We did put in some of the startling sounds that just come out of no where that scare me.  We didn’t make it as loud as it can be, I did want people to be able to listen to it.  I wanted to represent that my tinnitus can be softer, a medium tone, and I would say deafening…but that would be silly wouldn’t it?

So on a better hearing day, my dear friend came over and he tried his best.  I must admit I’m not the best person at describing sounds.  I am so touched to have this recorded.  Trying so long and so hard to explain just a little of what I hear has been so hard….this is my song.

“My Songs of Silence” – sound recording by Vincent Morrison

Artwork by Wendy Holcombe – “Fractured Ear”

Dear 16 Year Old Me – HAWMC Day 10

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness15 Comments
Me at 16.

**warning to readers….this is a graphic letter.  Things I really wish someone would have told me and helped me with, some may be offended by the frankness.  There may be some major mistakes in the writing, I tried to read it over, but just couldn’t.

Dear 16 year old me.

Hi Wendy….You won’t believe it, but I am now almost 50 years old.

I know you are confused. I know it’s hard to believe that I could be writing you from the future, but please just sit back and listen. I hope to help make these coming times just a little bit easier.   Please know, I love you, with all my heart.  You will go through times that you don’t like yourself very much, but know you will.  I’m just hoping you can start a bit sooner.

Recently you have been very depressed, and confused. Some days you are very happy, a bit euphoric even, and other days you don’t think you can carry on. Everyone thinks you are going though normal teenage hormones, just growing up. You are, but you are also dealing with a bit more. You need to make someone listen. Your mother has always been your best advocate. Sit down with her, talk honestly. Tell her just how depressed you have been and that you need to see a mental health professional.  I’ll be blunt, you have Bipolar disorder. Don’t worry, you can be treated. But hopefully, you can catch this much earlier than I did the first time around. In my time line you went through many hard years and many heart breaks. You still live with the fall out from those times. If you can get help now perhaps your life can go much smoother.   (much easier.)

If you can’t, there is one thing I suggest…STRONGLY.  Be careful with your sex life.  You will feel, once you are “soiled”, it isn’t worth the fight. It is. YOU ARE!  You will lose your self esteem. You will lose so much. When you get into therapy, finally, you will have a good therapist, but she will not understand. She will acknowledge your past problems with abuse and see you think a man will only care if you give yourself to him. She will say. Sex is ok, but only if you really want to do it. You will often feel that you really want to do it. Please Wait. Wait many times. Wait until the relationship is so much more. Do not jump into a sexual relationship until the relationship is more than just sex. Please take this more seriously than you can believe. It will change your life!!!

Stay close to your mother. Give her a break much more often than you do. Take her off the pedestal. She can’t read your mind, STOP being so passive aggressive. It carries on to other relationships and you don’t need that. You lose her much too early. She encourages you and stays by your side through everything, but unfortunately she doesn’t live to see you completely stable. Savor the years you have. You will be so very close, but you do put her through many worries. Try to lessen those for both of you.

You will start to have some health issues. Hearing issues, vertigo….you think you are having food poison many times…there are many breaks between these sicknesses. You are heading toward a hard fight with a hearing disorder that will cause a lot of balance issues. There really isn’t anything they could do if you found out earlier. So don’t sweat they you don’t find out until later. But if you find out earlier, it might help you in your career.

Dare to be braver. Work harder on your art if you REALLY want to. Don’t be so scared to fail. You will only have a few years to be able to work at this. So if you fail, it’s not a big deal.   But if you succeed, and I really think you could, think of how you would feel about you!  I believe in you.  Looking back, you could have done so much more.  Work on your muse!  Find what inspires you the most!  (oh and in college…start out as an Art Major. add in Art Education, but don’t waste time, if you do you will run out of financial aid before you know it and will not get the education you deserve.

You will have some health issues that change your life….so you change your life to go along with it.  You still have a good life.  You have a wonderful life, even with everything that you go through, you find a way to make your life meaningful.

You do meet the most wonderful man, and have a joyous life with him…but it won’t happen until you are in your late 30’s, you marry at 41. Do not worry. It happens. Don’t fret. And don’t think there is something wrong with you. Focus on your happiness.  This man will stand beside you through all your health issues.  You will have a better relationship than you ever thought imaginable.  He is worth waiting for.

Focus on YOU.

Study things you want to learn.
Dive into your ART.
Study Yoga…you will love it.
Become as healthy as you can, you will need it later.
Take care of you…And trust your heart…don’t listen to those who are just looking for fun for the moment.
Hopefully, if you listen to this, and get treated early, you will have an easier life.

Don’t take things so seriously….however, when you believe in something, don’t let others pull you away from your beliefs. In that same vein….do not get too caught up in other people’s beliefs without really looking into them. Make sure they are what you believe deep in your heart, and the that the facts are sound.

Question everything.
Love Deep.
Laugh Often.
And Cry Less.
Look for Beauty.
And appreciate Life.

From your future self, who hopes things turn out a bit differently.

With unconditional love, always and forever.

wendy

Writer’s Choice – #HACMC – Day 7 I Heard a Bee Buzz.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness8 Comments

With Meniere’s I have fluctuation hearing loss, with eventual permanent hearing loss.

If you are a regular reader you know my situation, if not I’ll fill you in.

Right now, my left ear has 0% word recognition and cannot be helped with a hearing aid, my right aid has about 80% word recognition with the help of a hearing aid.  However, the hearing fluctuates.  My hearing fluctuates more with weather changes, and  when I have a Meniere’s attack.  (to learn more about Meniere’s please see the page above).

One day a few weeks ago I woke up and could barely hear.  Every sound sounded like it was coming through a busted speaker.  The same went on for 3 days.  I admit this had me concerned.  When I lost the hearing in my left ear, the majority was lost in just 3 short months.  The loss started in this fashion.  Sounding like a busted speaker, having a tinny sound.  Normally, in my right ear when the hearing fluctuated, it simply dropped, then would return, sometimes not quite all the way, but when it dropped, it was just a bit softer, not this tinny sound.  So I was nervous.  And I realize, this could still be a sign of potential nerve damage.

However, in about 3 or 4 days, I had a vertigo attack.  Classic sign of a Meniere’s attack.  Fluctuating hearing, then a vertigo attack, ending in complete exhaustion.  When I woke the next day.  I could hear again!  I was so thrilled.  I had a horrible headache, but I could hear.  Who knows how long this hearing may last.  I decided to do something I rarely do, I took much medication to get my headache under control, and went outside hoping to hear some birds.  Sadly I didn’t hear any birds.  I was not the right time of the day.  But being outside was so nice.  I decided to sit on the back porch and enjoy the beautiful spring late afternoon. Soon I was joined by a friend.

Photo courtesy of mr.brown thumb
click photo to be taken to his blog.

A huge bumble bee decided I would make a good friend.  I was out on the back porch for at leash half an hour possibly more, this lovely bumble bee kept me company the entire time.  He would come closer, then go a little bit away.  He faced me, then raced away and buzzed right back.  I talked to him and told him how beautiful he was and how I was out there hoping to hear things I may not hear much longer.  As if he could hear me, he came up right beside my head, I could not only HEAR this beautiful Bumble Bee BUZZ, I felt it!!  He then came around in front of me and looked at me.  I know, this was just by chance, and perhaps because I had on a bright orange shirt.  However, no matter how long I live, and no matter if I lose all of my hearing, I will never forget the day I heard a bee buzz.

Health Haiku – #HAWMC Day 6

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness5 Comments

“Quick Send Money Now!”

Yes, I have brain disorder,

But, I’m not Stupid!

image from seemehearme.biz

Cannot Hear the Voice

Startled by the man behind

He assumes I’m rude

image from http://juick.com/ellma/1346507

Living in Fun House

Is a scary place to live

Not knowing what’s real

The previous Haiku’s all represent health issues I deal with.  The first, a little joke about having a brain disorder, Intracranial Hypertension.  The second, a challenge about losing my hearing late in life.  Of course, anyone who is hearing impaired may have the same struggle, I do not know.  And lastly. this haiku talks a bit about living with both Intracranial Hypertension, and Meniere’s. Each cause me to have vertigo and other visual disturbances.

I hope you have enjoyed.

Inspiration Quotation “I Believe In You.” – HAWMC Day 2

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness9 Comments
graphic by w. holcombe 2012

I hear many quotes that I get inspiration from.  The one I’m continually inspired from is one I heard over and over again from my mother, “I Believe In You.”  After she died, it was a long time before I heard those words again.  Now, I’m so grateful to once again hear the same words over and over from my husband.

Those 4 words resonate through my very soul.

“I Believe In You”

Because of these words,

I was the first person in my family to graduate college.

I had the courage to seek help for a mental illness (Bipolar Disorder) that was tearing me apart.

I had the courage to become an artist and show my artwork in a gallery and have a one person show.

I have had the courage to face my chronic illnesses as they have been diagnosed, including Meniere’s disease a vestibular disorder with sudden vertigo and  hearing loss, and most recently Intracranial Hypertension a disorder of the brain causing high cerebrospinal fluid.  (please know these are very simple explanations of each of these disorders)

I have the courage to face each day as it comes, make the most of each good moment, and realize that at the end of my days I will look back and all these moments will have added up to be a pretty good life.

“I Believe In You.”

Everyone faces their own battles, we all need someone to believe in us.

Who do you believe in?

Have you told them?

Make sure to let them know.

When you are facing a hardship, fighting a battle in your life, it’s easy to give up when you don’t think anyone believes in you.  When you have someone pulling for you, someone who believes in you, it’s much harder to give up.  Courage comes from belief.  Belief in yourself, for some belief in a higher being,  but sometimes, we need a little help from someone else.  We need to feel a human touch, someone who can reach out and say…”I Believe In You.”

My wish…Go out today, and tell someone special you believe in them!

A Rat in a Pink Inflatable Cage – and remember Next month will be different.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness7 Comments
I had to try to do a quick drawing of this rat in the inflatable cage.
It's just a rough oil pastel. But it got me to drawing!
and hopefully, gives you a smile.
by wendy holcombe 2012 copywrite

The very first thought that came to my mind when I woke this morning after 4 hours and some odd minutes of sleep was,  “I feel like a Rat in a Pink Inflatable Cage.”

The next thought I had was, “Where did that come from?”  Then I realized, that is exactly how I feel.

I’m the clinical rat being tested on and pocked and prodded, trying to find the answers.  I’m living with that, I accepted it, authorized it.  I understand doctor’s don’t know everything, and not every person reacts to everything the same way.  But why the Pink Inflatable Cage?  That was a new sensation, well kind of, it does happen now and then.  I had the feeling I was just kind of in a big bouncy house.  Everywhere I moved things moved just a bit with me.  But the vision it was so perfect.  I had to share even if I can’t quite express it in the perfect words..

Now for why I had such a short amount of sleep.  I was put on a dose of steroids yesterday to help knock out my migraines.  I started them a bit too late in the day, so my last dose was a bit too late.  I’ve taken steroids before, but I’ve never had the symptoms so many warn you of.  The increased appetite, the restlessness, the bouncing off the walls!!!  Well I did find out I don’t quite jump off the walls quite as much if I eat with the dose, but I have to eat a good amount.  Whew!  But I learned this a bit too late.  I got to sleep around 6am, around 10am, I awoke to start the next days doses a bit earlier.  I really need to make sure I finish my last dose a while before sleep time.  So today I’ll be finished about 9pm.  Yay!  Hopefully, I’ll get a whole nights sleep.  Oh, I did happen to get a 2 hour nap.  So I had a little more sleep today.

*I wanted to remind everyone that I’m participating in The Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge hosted by WEGO Health. Starting on April 1st.  So my posts may seem a bit different.  There will be some of my normal talk in there, but I’m going to follow some of their prompts to make it something different.  I’ve already written some of the posts, and I think you will find some of them enjoyable!  I’ve enjoyed some of them.  A couple I did enjoy, but I know won’t be the style of many of my readers.  I know you are thinking….”She’s already started?”  Yes!  I wanted to make sure if I had a day that I simply couldn’t post, there would be a post ready to go out.  I also wanted to make sure if there was a day I felt good and wanted to and have a happy day, I didn’t want to be concerned that I might not get a post in.  So yes, I’ve started.  No I don’t have the whole month finished!  But the first week is ready to go, and a few more are in the works.  Aren’t you proud of me???

Remember you too can join me, if you are brave enough…or crazy enough, I’m not sure which. All you have to do to join is sign up here: http://info.wegohealth.com/HAWMC2012 and you’ll be able to start posting once April rolls around.

I hope you enjoy the month, if you don’t please let me know and I won’t participate again.  If you want to hear more of my normal rants, let me know, remember these prompts are just suggestions, I can always post my normal way.  This blog has always been a way for me to express my feelings and to help others along the way.  I never want to stray from that purpose.  Please let me know what you think.  And keep in mind, this is just for a month, so let’s play if we can stand it, we might make some new friends, and we might learn a bit.

But I’m open- let me know what you think.

I’ll probably put up a poll at the end of the month to see what everyone thought.  : )