Thank you ever so much!

thankyou

I am so touched by the support and compassion I have received after posting about how ill I’ve been feeling recently.  Your comments truly helped my mental health.  I feel so loved.

I’m happy to say I am feeling better.  I just took my last steroid.  (If I can help it, it will be my last steroid EVER!)  I’m still having some side effects, but the worst seems to have passed.  The steroids not only affected me physically, they affected me mentally.  A few days ago, I was convinced I was going to die.  Phew, thank goodness that’s gone now!

My back is a bit better too.  It’s still tight, but I’m having much fewer spasms.  I even started some of my physical therapy exercises today.  Crossing fingers all of this will get my back better.

I’m very excited that I’ve been able to knit!  (I do loom knitting)  It’s just that I have projects I really want to finish before Christmas.  🙂  Heck, I’m making a scarf for me, I’d really like to have before it gets cold.  hahaha

Again, thank you all for you love and support.  I am forever grateful.

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A time to think of my…Gratitudes.

 

gratitude quote

There are days when you have a hard time.  Days when you can’t think of anything but what is going wrong.  It’s on those days that I find it most important to step back and look around me at the things I’m grateful for.

Today is a day I want to really look around and pay attention to what is in front of me, I know I have so much to be grateful for!

  • I’m grateful I woke up today.   What?  You think I’m joking?  I thought I’d start at the beginning of my day, and I thought what is the first think I’m grateful for today?  I’m grateful I’m here.  I’m grateful that I’m alive.  I’m grateful I can breathe.  Oh there is a good one!  Last night I had a very difficult time breathing, I coughed and coughed, and had a hard time taking a deep breath.  I had used my inhaler and it didn’t seem to do anything.  I did a nebulizer treatment, and I could breathe better, but of course I had the shakes for a long time afterward (I really hate that thing, a necessary evil).  Then I started coughing again, and well, it was a not so great breathing night.  Just one of those nights for me.  I did sleep without much coughing, so that is great!  We’re working on getting the chronic bronchitis under control, but haven’t gotten there yet.  I’m not complaining.  Last night was a rougher night than usual, the weather changed….rainy, damp…that makes it worse.  Again, not complaining, just stating the facts.  I accept it as it is, and I am fine with it.  I will be going to a new pulmonologist soon and we will work at getting this more under control.  I am very grateful that I can breathe better today.
  • I’m grateful my husband can walk our new dog every morning, and she is so good about it!  When we first talked about getting another dog Stuart said he didn’t want to have to walk it.  Then we met Kiki, and knew she was the right dog.  I was having hip problems, but thought it was going to be over very soon.  The doctors thought it was just a little inflammation, I was scheduled to get a hip injection and they thought that would be the end of it.  So when we decided to start fostering Kiki, I had planned to be the major caregiver.  Little did we know I would fall the night after my injection causing me to have a herniated disc in my back, and now a month later, I’m still not walking Kiki.  I’m still not walking much at all.  However, Kiki is the best dog about taking walks.  If you are in a hurry, she will go very fast.  She isn’t the kind of dog who will just go out and sniff and sniff just for the sake of it.  If you go out and walk out to the tree and then walk back toward the house, she will go.  No problem.  Often, in the mornings she will run Stuart outside, go real fast, and run back in and go back to bed!  She says….”Bye Dad!  I’m ready to go back to sleep!”  He has even said that he likes taking her for walks!  I’m a little envious.  I’m very grateful they have bonded and the walking issue, never became an issue!
  • I’m very grateful my doctor thinks my herniated disc will heal with just a little physical therapy.  Yep, right now I’m bored out of my mind.  I’m so tired of not being able to do anything. I can’t walk far without pain, I keep waking up because of pain, I can’t sit long without pain, well it just hurts.  I’m so relieved that the spine specialist thinks that I will heal with very conservative treatment!  Yay!!   I’ll happy dance when I can!!
  • I’m grateful I didn’t gain weight while taking steroids.  Oh boy, oh boy can we get happy about this one?!  The steroids made me go out of my mind, I was climbing the walls and wanted to destroy people, but I didn’t gain weight!  I didn’t weigh myself for the past month, it was too hard to try to step on the scales, I finally weighed this past week.  I lost 4 pounds!   For inquiring minds….that is a total of 44 pounds lost so far!! 
  • I’m grateful I understand I can’t trust my emotions right now because of the steroids.  I was actually very proud of myself for my self control and for understanding that it was the steroids that were making me feel so horrible.  They are still nagging at me a bit, I have one more dose, but you know it will take a little while before they are out of my system….so I can’t trust my emotions.  That is a good thing to keep in mind.  It is very difficult for someone who is bipolar to feel this way.  I am always very on top of my emotions, very in tuned to how I’m feeling.  I have to be.  If I start noticing that my feelings are our of sync with how they should be, I need to talk to my doctor.  By this I mean, I need to watch out if  react to something in an inappropriate way.  For instance, the other day, I said to Stuart, “Why don’t you use your damn common sense once in a while?!?”  in reaction to him just asking me a simple question.  This was VERY inappropiate!  I do not talk to him that way, and I couldn’t calm down.  I was sitting there suddenly saying….”I don’t act like this any more!  I don’t feel like this anymore!”   I took some deep breaths, centered myself, and calmed down.  Apologized over and over to my dear husband and explained I couldn’t help it and it would probably happen again.  I was full of anger I couldn’t control and he was probably going to get the brunt of it.  He was a dear sweet love and hugged me and understood.  Yes, he did get it a couple of other times, nothing like that time, and we dealt with it very well because we talked about it and how the medication was affecting me.  I’m so grateful I have a husband that communicates with me and understands about uncontrollable emotions due to steroids.
  • I’m grateful for a small place to live.  I’m grateful for a place to live that is safe.  I’m grateful for a place to live that is peaceful.  I’m grateful for our place.  I have been a little ungrateful for out little place lately, and just now I realized just how very grateful I am for this place.  I really do love this little place in many ways.  I love that it is small.  I am very grateful I do not have to climb stairs right now.  I couldn’t.  It is so much easier for me to get around this little place.  I have been feeling a bit claustrophobic in here lately, and way too isolated.  I know it’s because I just can’t do anything.  My mind wants to do something and my body says NO.  (yeah I’m working on that)  I’m very grateful that of all the places we looked at to rent we found this peaceful little place.  It is quiet here, (yes that is so important to a deaf person…haha).  There is little traffic on the street.  There are more people out walking their dogs in my neighborhood than there their are cars that pass by!  I just think that is so cool!  Yes, as I write this little piece I’m much more grateful about the place I live.
  • I’m grateful Kiki loves her new toy so much!  Yes it is the little things that bring joy into our lives!  Kiki loves her little toy so much!  She has forsaken all of her other toys for the one she picked out at the pet store.  It is a little beaver…I think.  It has a recycled bottle inside so it crunches, and it has a squeaky toy in the tail.  She loves this thing so much!   She carries it around, and gets so excited.  She will chase it, she will play hide and seek with it, she will run and get it and bring it to you just to show it to you…..”Look!  LOOK!  SEE! my toy!!!!”   She takes it to bed with her.  She doesn’t play with it in bed, no she just has to have it with her.   If I’m in a different room she will go check on me then she will go and get her toy and bring it to the door and show it to me….like she is showing the toy where I am??  Then she will leave.   She has so much fun with her toy, and it brings me much joy playing with her with it, and just watching her with this toy!  I will never get tired of watching her play!
  • I’m grateful my husband took me out yesterday for a short trip to the mall and I found a bra that fit – First Try On!!!  don’t really need to follow up on that one….but I will!  I must say, this is the very first time this has happened, and it is amazing to me.  After losing so much weight I went in and completely guessed my size!  I was not up to trying on a lot, this bra was on mega sale and I thought, OK, I’ll try it.  I had on an old bra that was too small, so I adjusted the size from it….and Wow!  I’m still amazed that it fit, and it just looks and feels so great.  No gaps, no pinching, no pulling…..I’m a happy woman!  It was also on such a mega sale I won’t feel bad if  when I lose more weight and soon need a different size!  One thing that is a little different about me losing weight….I have bigger boobs.  I’ve always liked my breast.  I have felt they were just the right size, not too big, not too small…just right.  When I gain weight, they have always stayed pretty much the same.  They didn’t get really big with me.  (a lot of women gain a lot there, I didn’t.)  Yes I’m silly, but just thinking about it, if things keep going as they are I’m going to be a bit bigger.  Right now I’m a cup size bigger than I normally am at this band size.  Stuart likes it.  hahaha  However, I can’t imagine him not liking anything about my body….he is a bit biased.   and I’m very grateful for that!
  • oh there is so much to be grateful for!!   I’m feeling so much better than I was when I started this post!  I’m grateful I have so much to be grateful for...here’s a few more….
  • I’m grateful I got to tell my sister how I was feeling about some things.  It doesn’t matter if things don’t change,  I’m just so grateful that we talked and I know she knows some things now that were stuck in my head and I needed to let it out.  It’s hard to put some things in the past if you don’t know if other people have put it there, or heck, if they even know about it.  Yeah, try to wrap your head around that one.  I just feel better about things.  I’m grateful for that.
  • I’m grateful that I’m emotional.  (no one needs to understand that one.  It just really used to bother me, now, I’m glad.  I like having deep feelings.  It may hurt a lot sometimes, but it is also pretty darn great other times.  Being “emotional” is not a bad thing.)
  • I’m grateful I found this meditation on forgiveness….I needed it…. Forgiveness Meditation    (this is just a written page, not a link to a guided meditation, read if you want.  I liked it a lot.)
  • I’m grateful I have some friends I can reach out to, even if I don’t have any I can see in person.
  • I’m grateful I have clean water.  (I really don’t like the water from our tap here, we have started using bottled water, and I’m so grateful for it.  It really makes me think a lot about people who can’t get clean water at all.  I’m so very grateful that not only do I have running water in my home, but I am able to get wonderfully clean water whenever I want it.
  • I’m grateful I have access to fresh food.  Something else I have thought about a lot lately.  I have talked a lot about the change in my diet, how I’ve lost so much weight and how much healthier I am because of my new eating habits.  I haven’t mentioned some of the other things I’ve noticed that I can only attribute to my diet change.  My hair is thicker.  My fingernails smoother and less brittle.  My skin is clearer.  I can tell you I haven’t changed my hair products, nor have I done anything different to my nails, so I can only attribute those changes to my diet.  I did change my facial wash, but I will admit I don’t use it every day.  I am a self proclaimed foodie.  I love good food.  I love fresh food.  I’m grateful that even though we have had very lean times over the past couple of years, we have always managed to eat as fresh as possible.  We have cut corners every where we could so we could spend a little more on our groceries.   We do still spend wisely in the grocery store, but let’s face it, fresh fruits, veggies, and high quality meats are expensive.   For some people it is a matter of choice, but sometimes it is a matter of not being able to afford food…period.  Can you imagine if you simply could not afford to buy groceries at all?   There are so many people who go to bed hungry every night.  So many people who are malnourished.     My gratefulness about food is huge.  I’m so grateful that I now have the knowledge to be able to nourish my body in a healthy way, and am able to provide it with all the food that it needs.
  • I’m grateful I have this blog to write about things….and I’m very grateful that there are some people out there that read it.   Yep….this is what I needed today.

 

I really do appreciate life so much!

I love my life!

Do I have challenging days?  Yes!

Will I feel bad on days again?  Yes!

Do I accept my life the way it is?  Yes!

Do I wish it were different?  Sometimes….I’m working on a NO for that answer, but I think “Sometimes”  is pretty good.   I still love my life, just as it is, even if nothing changes, even if it gets worse, I still love my life!!

That’s pretty important I think.  I love my life, all the good parts, all the bad parts, all the fun parts, all the hard parts….I love my life!

 

Gratitudes in the middle of a mess

It’s time to take a little time to notice some of the things I’m grateful for…before I completely meltdown (again)…I know this will help!

This move has been extremely challenging, mentally and physically.  I am very grateful that I (and I am serious here) am not curled up in a corner crying and trying to hide from the world.  I’m also grateful that I am still able to get out of bed and accomplish some things.  Yes, I am in a lot of pain but, I’m still doing much more than I have in years.  I am so VERY GRATEFUL for this.  I told Stuart last night, I just can’t believe I started feeling better (no not well, but a bit better) right before all of this happened.  Wow!  If I was still like I was just a few months ago now.  This move would have been…..uh, well I just don’t want to think about it.

I’m grateful I sold almost all of my fused glass supplies.  I have only 2 things left and they should be very easy to sell!  Because of this we didn’t have to move any of that!  Yay!!!  Also, because of this I was able to buy our living room furniture.  This made me feel so good.  I was able to contribute to the household.  This is the first time I have been able to do this in YEARS!  (We had to by new living room furniture because the furniture from out old place was too big.)  This is a loan to the house though, as soon as we can pay it back that money goes in my service dog fund.)

I’m very grateful that I met the nicest lady when I sold my fused glass supplies and she actually sold my kiln for me!  How cool is that?

I’m grateful that our new place has a beautiful backyard.

I’m grateful that we live within walking distance to a grocery store and other little shops.  I hope it really is within MY walking distance.  If not now, soon.

I’m grateful there is a park nearby.

I’m grateful Stuart works very close.

I’m grateful we found a restaurant that will make meals that meet my food requirements, and it isn’t far away.  Plus, the very first time we went we got the best waitress, she is the bomb!  We’ve been there one more time and asked for her, she remembered what I needed and helped me order!  Wow!

I’m very grateful I’m still losing weight.  It feels so good to be getting in to smaller clothes and seeing a smaller face in the mirror.  I’m grateful that the diet is making me feel so much better!  What you eat really can make such a HUGE difference in how you feel!

I’m grateful I have the coolest cousin in the world living close by!  Can’t wait to see him and his brood this week!  And it’s so nice we can call on each other!  He’s real family!  If your reading this, I love you man!!!

I’m grateful things are coming together……wait, did I just say that?  do I believe it?  Am I just saying it or do I believe it?  hmmm, let me think.  (Jeopardy them playing in my head…)   I’m not sure.   One thing will happen and it looks like things are flowing along then one thing will happen and things just start going backward…but I know things will end up…the way it’s supposed to be, after all how else could it be?

And yes, I do mean that.

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I’m grateful I wrote this post, because I needed it.  I needed to remind myself that things are going happen.  They are going to be the way they are, no matter what.  I keep trying to bend things the way I want them, I keep fighting to make things happen faster than they are going to, and well, I needed to remind myself…..it’s going to happen, or it’s not, and that’s OK.

Yesterday is gone, I can’t worry about what happened, tomorrow isn’t here yet can’t do anything about it.  So today I’ll do what I can, and that’s it, if something comes up and makes it so things get in the way I’m going to go with the flow and not get all out of sorts.   Just breathe.   It will get done, or it won’t, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.  I’m so very grateful I realize that.

Today’s meltdown averted…..maybe I should have written this yesterday.

 

Gratitudes 3 – A Pretty Darn Good Week!

by w. holcombe

by w. holcombe

Things haven’t been perfect this week.  I did have a night filled with cluster headaches.  But I got through it, and since then I’ve been feeling, well, pretty darn good.  Until I got this little virus, but I already wrote about that, and I’m grateful that it will run it’s course and I’ll be done with it!  Plus I’m very Grateful that it really hasn’t been that bad, a couple of icky days, but that’s about it.

I am so very GRATEFUL that I found something that is helping me with my tummy issues!  I found a book that addresses the food issues that I have, but I plan to write a whole post about this, it’s so exciting! And I think it could help others with dietary issues.

I am GRATEFUL:

  • that I have a new psychiatrist!  She is so professional.  I’ve only seen her once, but she took a very detailed patient history, discussed all my medications in detail, discussed my concerns, and our future plans.  I was very impressed.  After the last fiasco with my previous doctor, it is such a relief to find a doctor who is not only professional but enjoys her job.
  • that I have been on more regular sleep schedule.  This is something I haven’t had for a very long time.
  • I am waking up with more energy.  Of course, this is probably because I am on a more regular sleep schedule, but it sure is nice.
  • I’ve been able to go down stairs every day this week. Most people probably don’t know just how disabled I have been, but tackling the stairs have been a huge task for a long time.  Most weeks I’ve been lucky if I’ve made it downstairs one or two days.  So making it down stairs every day for a week, that is a great accomplishment!
  • I have gotten out of the house many times this week!  Not only have I made it downstairs every day, but many days I’ve gone out.  I went to the grocery store….a HUGE accomplishment!  I went for a ride with the top off of the car!  I went to the Thrift store and got a new pair of pants.  I went and looked at glasses.  (I have an eye doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and will need new glasses.)  I even went out to eat, this is hard because of all the noise.  I’m also proud I went out to eat and stayed true to my diet, I didn’t eat anything that would make my tummy unhappy.
  • yoga pose 1yoga pose 2I exercised a little this week….a very, very little…but I did something!  Not only did I do a lot more in general, and you can call that a lot more exercise…I know my body is!  I did a few yoga poses almost every morning.  Just a few.  I’m trying to learn to balance more with my eyes instead of relying on my ears so much.  So I’m doing some of the standing yoga poses while focusing on a focal point.  Maybe it will help.   By going out an doing more I’m also working on increasing my stamina.
  • I didn’t let a virus ruin my week.  I was having a really great week, then I caught a virus and suddenly I felt crappy.  I thought, am I going to start feeling really bad again?  Then I caught myself….Stop thinking like that.  I can’t predict the future.  And what has been happening has been great, but it doesn’t mean it will continue.  I  will live in this moment.  and I’ll enjoy it.  If it’s a bad moment, I know it’s a moment.  It’s my moment.  And it’s OK.  (A note to Laurie at HibernationNow….Yes, I did over do it…You were right!  so I’m very tired today…but it was worth it, yesterday I had a a very fun day!)
  • I realized that even having a virus I still don’t feel as bad as I have felt.  No I don’t want to live in the past, but it was a bit of an eye opener when I realized I was lying here sick and I didn’t feel as bad as I have for a lot of the time this past year….heck the past couple of years.
  • My head hasn’t hurt much at all!  As I mentioned above, I had a night of cluster headaches, but since then….my head has been so good to me.  There’s a couple of reasons I think this may be, but I’m just grateful that it has happened!  I’m sure I’ll have headaches in the future, but to have the relief I feel now….so GRATEFUL.
  • I made my lunch today all by myself.  I cut up my own chicken today, and warmed up my own lunch.  Because of my balance issues and sudden vertigo I haven’t trusted myself to use a knife in a long time, at least without supervision.  Today I made my lunch with Stuart upstairs.
  • To hear my husband say, “It’s so nice to be able to do things with you.”   Remembering to be in this moment…..

GRATITUDES in abundance this week!

I’m fickle!  The name Attitude of Gratitude isn’t going to stick.  I didn’t like the attitude part.  Just recognizing that we have things to be grateful for is the most we can strive for sometimes, so my weekly posts will simply be called GRATITUDES!   (I realize this isn’t really a proper word, but I like it!  It has a bit of an, shall I say, Attitude!  ha!  Feeling a big cheeky today aren’t I?)  Now, on with the GRATITUDES!

I have so much to be grateful for this week!

Not to say that there haven’t been challenges, but this post is going to focus on the many things that I am so very GRATEFUL for!

Hubby is working!!!  This week Stuart started a part-time contract position.  It is a position that he is very excited about, doing something that he wants to do.  The company is new, so it’s not full-time, yet, and we don’t know when it will be.  There is more about this that I will tell later…..right now, I just want to say…..I am so grateful that my husband has a job, and it’s a job he is excited about.

My father’s tumor is GONE!  My father was diagnosed with liver cancer this winter.  He has been undergoing chemoembolization treatments.  He went in for tests on Thursday, before setting up his final treatment, and there was no tumor to be found!  He will need no further treatments.  He does have to go back in a few months for an MRI just to be sure, but all looks great.  I’m amazed at this treatment.  Each treatment he has gone in, had the chemo delivered straight to the tumor, and has gone home the next day.  He feels icky for a couple of days and then he’s fine.  He had 3 treatments.  He says he feels great, just old.  : )   Also said, he wants to lose 10 pounds, and he’s thrilled he still has all his hair!  How many 81-year-old men can say that?  I’m so grateful my father’s cancer is gone.

Baby Bunnies

Baby Bunnies

Baby Bunnies Safe.  Stuart was mowing the lawn this week and uncovered a nest of Baby Bunnies!  He was so upset.  He just fretted over these poor little things.  He actually mowed right over them!  They didn’t really move, acted like they didn’t really notice.  He covered them with an upside down flower-pot.  Then he asked me about it.  He thinks since I grew up in the country I know everything about all woodland animals and plants.  I know a little…like the fact that baby bunnies are called kittens, and they have their babies in a nest, but that’s about it.  So off to the internet!  He was afraid mama bunny was going to abandon babies.  He found out that the mama only visits during the night a couple of times to feed the babies.  It said to cover them with loose grass or straw, we had dried corn husk so he put that over them.  It said if there was any sign that there was any digging around then she had been there and all was good. (He saw digging, and the second night, he even saw mama bunny, he was so relieved!) Since the ears are up, and eyes are open, these bunnies are about the go on their way all by themselves.  I told Stuart he was a good Bunny Daddy.  He said NO, he wasn’t their daddy.  I said, Step Daddy….he looked, shook his head and said….Foster Dad.   I liked that.   Bunnies are safe, and the nest is just right outside our back door.   Might be a good thing we don’t have a garden this year.   (our back yard does back up to woods so these bunnies will have a perfect place to grow up.)   I’m so grateful that the bunnies are safe, and that my husband has such a kind and compassionate heart.

I had a BATH complete with washing hair and shaving legs – this may sound like a little thing to many, but this is a VERY BIG DEAL FOR ME!  I have a very hard time taking baths and showers.  Showers are worse than baths for me.  I have to stand in a shower, the only thing helping me stay stable is my feet and my hands on the walls.  If my hands are on the walls how am I supposed to wash myself?  So stability is not very good.  Falling is very easy.  Shower has equaled many disasters.  (I have tried a shower chair, it was not a success.) I can only take a shower if Stuart is with me, unfortunately this is not nearly as much fun as it used to be!  (darn)  A bath is easier, but still a challenge.  This week I did it!  I will tell you all a little secret.  This is the first time I’ve washed my hair in 6 weeks.  Yep.  That’s right.  I washed my hair the week right before my Walmart expedition.  Then I had weeks of having vertigo on and off and constant disequilibrium, I couldn’t wash my hair during that time.  My personal hygiene consisted of washing up at the sink or sponge baths.  Therefore, I am very grateful that I was able to take a bath, wash my hair, and shave my legs!!!

More things I’m grateful for this week!

dandelions

Flowers my hubby brought me when I couldn’t go outside.

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Blue skies I could see from my window. Grateful I could still enjoy the blue sky even if I was too dizzy to go down the stairs.

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Grateful my husband can cook, and made such a wonderful meal! Yummy, Orange glazed Cornish hen with quinoa and roasted asparagus. (no we don’t eat like this every night.)

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Grateful Max still likes to play, and spends a lot of time with me when I don’t feel like doing much. Loving this picture, showing so many of his extra toes!

That’s it for this week.

Some major things to be grateful for, and a few things I’m grateful for that some people probably wouldn’t notice.

What are your GRATITUDES this week?

Grateful during a Rough Year

Buddha, by Wendy Holcombe
So much to be grateful for…

Yesterday Stuart and I were talking and I told him I was grateful for many things this year.  He looked at me a but stunned.  Yes, it’s been a rough year.

  • I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension, this knocked me off my feet for a while, and I got a bit depressed over it…but I’m so very grateful that the medication works!
  • I’m still having severe vertigo attacks….but I’ve only had 3 or 4 this year…That’s amazing, and something to be grateful for!
  • I have migraines, and migraine associated vertigo – I’m grateful I have a super doctor now who specializes in headaches.  I’m also grateful that the vertigo I have with migraines, is not as severe as the Meniere’s vertigo.
  • I lost my dearest companion of 19 years….I still miss my Sandy so much every day – but I’m so grateful she did not suffer, and I’m grateful for all the wonderful memories I have of our lives together.  “Everybody Loved Sandy”
  • I’m grateful my father pulled through a near death experience, and my sister was there to help him.
  • I had a very hard time after someone wrote me a note that simply shook my world, and not in a good way.  I’m grateful (thanks to studying Buddhism) I can breathe in that hate, and breathe out happiness and love toward others.  I’m also grateful that I do not have to send a reply.  It’s a rough thing to accept, but some people will not like me, may even hate me, but as long as I still like me, I’m ok.
  • I lost my hearing in my left ear as of July last year (2011), and have greatly reduced hearing in my right ear.  I’m very grateful for modern technology, with my cochlear implant (received July of this year) and hearing aid I can hear.  I may not be able to hear as well, but with the help of technology I am not deaf all the time.  I’m so very grateful for this!
  • (**a TMI note)  I was diagnosed with vulvar vulvodynia, a painful condition of the vulvar region.  I’m so grateful that my doctor gave me topical Lidocaine, now my husband and I can have relations with much less pain.  (thank goodness there are times my head stops spinning long enough to try this.)  : )
  • I’m grateful we were able to come to Tucson for the winter.  The trip out was not as hard as I expected….Thank Goodness.  The time we’ve been here so far has been rough, but I have faith I will feel better and better.  I’m so grateful for the beautiful weather we’ve had so far.
  • With every challenge I’ve been through this year….and I haven’t mentioned them all….I’m so grateful my husband has been right beside me, holding my hand, being the best advocate for me (he has to make many calls for me since I can’t hear on the phone, he’s a wonder at making doctors understand), he loves me, and thinks I’m so very special.  I tear up just thinking about how very lucky I am to have married this wonderful man.  (I am most grateful for my husband and our relationship.)

Stuart and me, a couple of years ago.
Every time I look at this photo I can feel the love pour over me.
I’m so very grateful for the love my husband shows me. (photo by Jenn Dorff)

  • And last but not least, I’m grateful for my friends.  Especially the special people I’ve met through this blog and others.  It makes me sad that others have to go through chronic illnesses with pain and suffering, but I’m grateful we can share our experiences with each other and know we are not alone.

There are many other things I could list that I’m grateful for but this post would be very long indeed.  This post has made my lightened my heart and helped with things I was coming more and more depressed about, I believe I should take the time to notice the things I’m grateful for much more often.

If you are in the US, may you have a safe and joyous Thanksgiving.  (remember, take care of yourself first.)  I was not able to partake in the family festivities today, a migraine and unsteadiness simply would not allow it.  (especially with all the noise, I admit I was afraid, this would have been the first get together since I got my CI, it’s scary going into a situation with a lot of noise when you can’t hear like you used to.)

May we all remember to take time to think about the things for which we are grateful.