I’m so excited and honored to announce that one of my posts has been published in URevolution – The chronic illness and disability magazine.
I’m so impressed with the magazine and everything URevolution does and stands for, please go over and check them out and read or reread my article Losing a Loved One From Alzheimer’s Disease Druing Cornonavirus Pandemic and let me know what you think.
This is late because I forgot to hit Publish when I finished writing my post….duh. But, I’m thankful that I was able to do it at all.
I missed last week’s Ten Things of Thankful because I was having surgery, that brings me to my 10 things:
I have much in my life to be thankful for, like the TToT challenge from Ten Ten Things of Thankful They are a great community and I’m so happy I found them….Thanks Faith. I’d love to hear what you are thankful for this week, tell me about it in the comments, or join in the challenge to post Ten Things of Thankful . (There is not a requirement, or a limit to the amount of things you list. 10 is a goal, if you are having a challenging week and can only post on thing, please share it….and you can share what you are having a hard time with, this community is very supportive.
Coming soon: First, a little update about my recovery, and second, my experience so far with Medical Marijuana…stay tuned.
(please forgive me for not being able to get around and seeing what so many of you have been up to lately, I hope you understand. If you’ve had something happen and you want to make sure I’ve seen it, please share. I never want to miss what is most important to my friends.)
Everyday He Loves Me
He holds my hair as my world spins
leaving me a wretched mess.
He brings me food
washes my body
cares for our home
He holds me
comforts me
helps me fight my battles.
He kisses me
caresses me
loves every part of me
To him I am no burden
He loves me.
Everyday He Loves Me.
He watches me get my hopes up
and holds me when they fall.
The words are nice to hear,
but easy to say.
Every day, he shows he loves me.
How can I write a tribute to a man who has given me so much?
The words seem to lose their potency after leaving my heart.
How do I express how much I love him?
My heart swells with emotions and words that will not come forth.
This man who shows his love each and every day.
Sometimes my Caregiver,
Often my Lover,
Always my Champion,
Forever my Hero,
My Husband,
My Friend.
I love you more than words can say.
The anniversary of my mother’s death was June 23rd. I simply cannot believe it’s been 20 years since my mother passed away. Cancer is not prejudice it will attack anyone at any time.
Having such a hard time with Asthma lately has brought back some dark memories of watching my mother fight to breathe…… Lung Cancer is an ugly way to die. If anyone who is reading this is a smoker, I beg you to stop. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, please think of those who love you.
OK…enough of this…it’s not how I want to remember my mother.
My mother was a marvel. She hated to cook, yet she could make a feast out of next to nothing. Growing up I didn’t realize we had less than others, I actually thought we were well off, but as I look back I realize just how much that was because of my mom. She was the ultimate in reusing things, and she’d never heard of “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”. She even had a compost pile, before anyone knew what to call it. She was raised that way, and now I live that way.
She was one of the only people in my life….before my husband….who accepted me just the way I am. She believed in me. I believe she is the only one who believed I would graduate from college. I did it! With honors! She was not surprised….I think she was the only one.
I went to a college that was just a little over an hour from home. One morning before my classes I talked to my mother and told her how much I missed her banana pudding, when I got out of class and came back to the dorms my mother was waiting, with a huge dish of banana pudding. She was always surprising me.
She grew up on a tobacco farm (so. of course. she became a smoker), she didn’t experience much while growing up, even when she was a young adult she really didn’t know much about the world. I don’t mean she was naive, she simply had the heart of a little girl, but the inner strength of Super Woman. We would go places and she would be so awed by the sites. I shared my love for art with her, and she soaked it in.
Amazingly, my mother never graduated high-school, dropping out in the 6th grade to care for her ailing grand mother, who was raising her. She also didn’t know ho
Christeen Hutchins (Moore-Calloway)
w to drive until after I was born, and didn’t have a pair of blue jeans until she was in her 50’s.
I remember going to the library with her. She was so intimidated at first, but soon she was deep in the words, looking up things she had been interested in, but never had the nerve to research them. I remember when she got a Camaro, this woman who didn’t drive until her late 30’s loved speed….but she was very careful. Until she backed into a mail truck, but that’s a different story.
She may have gotten her first pair of blue jeans when she was in her 50’s, but after that you couldn’t get her out of them. She loved jeans. Almost as much as she loved pizza!
I don’t think she had pizza until I was a girl. She was thrilled when the cheese would leave a string from the slice to her mouth. I once heard her say she could eat pizza hot or cold, for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. And she liked everything on it!
I mentioned how strong she was, one day on her way home she was attacked and she fought of the attacker by grabbing a rock and bashing him in the head. For days she looked in the paper to see if she had killed him. No notice, but the attacks in the area stopped. She always wondered. Her first marriage ended in tragedy. Her husband had a meeting one evening, he asked if she and their one year old daughter wanted to come, but my mom said she needed to wash diapers. Hours later she found out he hit ice on a bridge and ran off into the water. He drowned. My mother was suddenly a single mother, with no income. She moved in with her mother, went to cosmetology school, and started a life for her and her daughter. Then she met my dad…and the story goes on.
We had such a very special relationship. I do miss her ever moment. I’m so honored to have been raised by such an amazing woman!
(I could not read over this post to check for errors, it was just too much of an emotional day. – NO, Sandy didn’t die…just scared us.)
When I got up yesterday, I was feeling a bit off, but better every day.
Stuart fixed me something to eat and brought it to me. Our dog, Sandy, followed him upstairs. She was coughing a little, she’s a small dog and has a collapsed trachea, this causes her to not be able to catch her breath sometimes. This didn’t sound worrisome, it was just a little cough, Stuart went over and straightened her throat to open the airway and she stopped, So he scooped her up on the bed to be with Mom. I noticed she was still breathing very hard, and her heart was just pounding, she leaned on me (this isn’t unusual) and I tried to calm her down. Then she just fell over on the other side, she started to do these little yelps like she was in pain and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead! I grabbed her and opened her mouth and breathed in for her and pushed the air out again a few times…she began to breathe again.
I grabbed up my 21 pound dog and told Stuart to grab my pants I’d put them on in the car, and ran (yes, ran as much as you can carrying a 21 pound dog) down the stairs. By then she was wagging her tail thinking this was some kind of game. I put her down and she was still unsteady, but getting back to her normal self. I threw on a pair of sweat pants, a jacket some shoes, while Stuart was on the phone with the Vet and putting on his shoes. We were out and to the vet in less than 15 minutes.
The verdict, my baby had a seizure. They don’t know why. She is 19 years old. They took all kinds of tests (she was due for her annual visit anyway), and we are to take her resting heart rate a few times throughout the week. It could be her heart, it could enlarge and then cut off the airway, or it could be because of the collapsed trachea, or the cancer could have gotten to her brain. We just don’t know.
If the resting heart rate test is off, then they’ll start her on heart meds. If she has repeated seizures, they may just put her on seizure medication.
The good news. The vet felt all around her bladder and could not feel the tumors. So they have not progressed as they expected. She’s still urinating fine, and that all looks good.
When I say my dog is 19, and has bladder cancer, Alzheimer’s, cataracts, hearing problems….I just know people are thinking that we are cruel not to put her down. But Sandy is a happy dog! She’s not in pain! The vet has never even hinted that Sandy may not be living life to the fullest. She still chases the cat, runs around…
When we checked in at the vet yesterday, the lady behind the desk said, that she has an old girl too….then she looked at Sandy’s age and said, WOW! Well, not that old, she looks great for her age.
Sandy is so very special.
Yes, I paid for my adrenaline rush. I came close to falling more than once, but I would not stay home and not be there for my dog. (I can only imagine what they thought when I walked in…a t-shirt that’s way too big, sweat pants, Stuart’s blue jean jacket, I hadn’t brushed my hair or my teeth…ewww. and I was walking like I was drunk.) But there was no way I was leaving my dog!!
I did collapse a little when I got down stairs because I almost fell and was very dizzy, and thought…I can’t even take care of my dog!
What if Stuart hadn’t been here?
Stuart has an interview in Birmingham, Alabama next Wednesday. It’s for a telecommute job, one he really wants. But we haven’t found anyone who could stay with me. I really think I would be alright by myself, but what if there is an emergency? What if something happens? I can’t drive.
We’re going to try to find a neighbor who would be home during the day, just someone I can call on in an emergency.
Here’s hoping we can find someone! And hoping Stuart is offered this job!
And please send healing thoughts to my precious little girl.
She is a huge part of our family!!
Picnic with Ants 