I didn’t have an appropriate picture for this post, so I decided to just share a picture from our Snow Day.  It’s almost all gone now.

I so can not hear right now.  It is so aggravating to go from one week of being able to hear pretty darn good (at least out of one ear), and then the next week I can barely hear at all.

It also makes me very uneasy because I know that normally when I can’t hear I’m going to have a full blown Meniere’s attack some time soon.  I may be able to put it off for a while with medication and such, but it will probably happen within a week or so.  Then I will be able to hear again.  That just does not make sense to me.  Why can I hear so much better right after I have vertigo and puke my guts out?

(More stuff that is poopy graphic and you may not want to read.)  Well, the diarrhea is still going strong. 5 times so far.  Today about 2 hours after eating my lunch, I saw it all in the toilet.  My doctor once asked me how did I know it was what I just ate….well, let’s see…it is in the same form  as when it went in.  This time I had lettuce, I haven’t eaten lettuce in at least a week, it was very visible.  It’s also bright yellow.  It looks like it’s bile.  I looked up on line what yellow stools could mean.  On About.com it said that it often means you have GERD and are passing food through your system too fast.  Well, it does sound like I’m passing food through way too fast.  (can not understand how I’m gaining weight…but we’ll worry about that later.)  You know, my doctors haven’t even asked me what color it usually is.  They have asked if it’s black, or if I see blood, but that’s all.  It’s just so confusing.

It makes it harder to deal with a second illness when you have Meniere’s.  Numerous times I’ve had cancel appointments or tests that have been scheduled because I was having an attack, or I was recovering from one I just had.  (I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m pretty worthless the day after an attack.  I just have to sleep.)

So I didn’t get the Breath Tests done, I didn’t get the up CT scan done, I didn’t get the scope of the upper GI track done…..I do have the scope rescheduled for the 8th of January.  But, heck, I would probably have known what was wrong with my gut by now if I didn’t have Meniere’s to deal with too.

Stuart keeps saying, let’s concentrate on one thing at a time.  But that’s pretty hard when you are running to the bathroom all the time, and keep growing out of your clothes.

Hey, I got off the couch today.  We went had lunch at Pei Wei, to the grocery store, and went to one of the biggest Thrift Stores I know of.

The Durham Rescue Mission Bargain Center used to be a car dealership.  I love shopping there.  Today and I got 2 sweaters that are long.  I seem to have so many sweaters that show my middle when I move.  I think I must have bought them when waistlines where high, and now that they are lower my tops don’t seem to be long enough.  (however, I do not where low riders.  I would just have one big muffin top.  Don’t you think that’s just disgusting when you see that?)

I also bought 2 pretty plates to photograph my food on.  I only have white dishes, and I think my photographs are getting pretty boring.  I was looking for a pretty bowl to photograph things like soup in, all of my bowls are so deep it’s hard to get a good picture.  However, I have to admit, if I was being judged for plating my food, like they do on Iron Chef, I would lose miserably.  LOL  The truth is, I really should be able to set up better photographs, after all that was one of my specialties in college.  (I majored in Art with a specialization in painting and photography.  Look how much I use it now.  hahaha)

We also got the game CLUE.  I hope all the pieces are there.  Stuart found this thing on-line that tells you how to take 4 games, and make a whole bunch more.  The 4 games are Trivial Pursuit, CLUE, Scrabble, and Monopoly.  You use the different pieces on different boards and just mix it all up and make new games.  I’m looking forward to seeing what he comes up with.  However, we have to get another Scrabble game, I don’t know what happened to mine.

We bought all of this for less than $10!  Isn’t that cool?

So that’s a day in the life of Wendy, I’m glad you could join me.

I had a horrible attack last night.

All day yesterday I was following a weird diet because I was supposed to have a hydrogen Breath test today (this checks to see if you are digesting your food properly), then I was supposed to have a breath test for Lactose Intolerance and Fructose Intolerance.  So all day I couldn’t have dairy, soy, fruit, most veggies (I could have overly cooked or canned Asparagus, Green Beans, Spinach, Carrots, and baby Okra.  Ewww, canned veggies.)  I could have lot’s of carbs, but I had to limit them to 30grams per meal.  It was crazy.  I could eat meat, but I don’t usually eat that much meat.  So yesterday I had more meat than I usually eat, and some canned veggies…I know I said ewwww, before but…ewwww.  The Asparagus was slimy and had too much sodium, the Spinach tasted like dirt, I didn’t even try anything else.  Just too icky.

Around 8:15pm I started to feel a little spinny.  Stuart got me a Valium and I thought that would do it, but then it started getting worse, I took a Phenergan, and a Diamox (this is the pill that lowers your pressure), I thought perhaps since I had more sodium than usual yesterday it might have spiked my pressure.  Well, I think taking that pill may have been a huge mistake.

The spinning got much worse, and no amount of trying to keep myself calm was working.  Then came the heat, I know when you start to get really hot, I’ll probably be throwing up soon.  Well, first diarrhea hit.  Yes, I was spinning, about to toss my cookies and I had to run to the bathroom.  Thank God for my husband and my walker.  I made it back to the couch, and started throwing up.  For over 2.5 hours I was throwing up, long past the point of anything being left in my stomach.  And the pain…oh the stomach pain.  The burning and gnawing feeling, and all my muscles working in over time. I was shaking uncontrollably.  I was to the point where I was choking, and couldn’t breathe at some points. Everything was pushing out, and I couldn’t take a breath in.  I hate to admit this, but I couldn’t hold my water at one point when I was throwing up, all the muscles were just not working like they should.

I realized last night how much this would kill me if I had to watch my husband go through it.  He works so hard to make me as comfortable as possible, and allow me to still keep some of my dignity.  He keeps a clean bucket for me to throw up in and switches out the moment there is a break so I won’t have to smell it.  He even puts a little mouth wash in it in case some of the smell lingers I won’t smell it.  He cleans me up, keeps wet wash cloths close by, and holds me tight and lets me squeeze his hand when things get bad.  When I wet myself he simply put a pad under me and when things calmed down he helped me get cleaned up.  He even puts in the Phenergan suppositories for me.  Every time this happens I am so amazed at how well he handles it, you can tell it’s tearing him apart that he can’t make it stop and help me more, but he tries so hard to do everything he can, and tells me that he is just grateful that he can be here for me.  I don’t know what I’d do without him.  I feel like he does so much for me, and I’m just dead weight.  I feel like I’m worthless, I just don’t know how to make things better.

I know, I have hope that things will get better.  I will once again be able to get off of this darn couch.  But today, I just feel awful, and I’m wallowing a little.

I realized the other day that if/when they do make me better, I don’t have any skills to do anything.  I thought about going back to school, but I’ve been out for so long that none of my credits would count now, and since I haven’t been working they can’t take my experiences there into account.  I just don’t know what I would do with myself.  But I would like the opportunity to find out.

Sorry this is such a scattered post.  I usually feel better than this the day after an attack, but I barely have the energy to stand up, and can’t think about walking without my walker.  (of course, I’m still running to the bathroom, but there is so very little coming out.)  I’m pretty miserable today.  I hurt all over, my head hurts, my chest, stomach, bowels….I just feel bad.

So lot’s of Gatorade, and bland foods.  Snuggling on the couch with my dear sweet dog, and sometimes the cat joins us too.  Perhaps I’ll finish the book I’ve been reading.  But for now, I think I’ll take a nap.

Thanks for listening to me rant.  I feel better already just getting it all off my chest.

Saturday was an ok day for me.  I had a bad attitude, but other than that, I was able to go out to lunch with my husband, and run some errands.  We even ordered our little Organic Turkey Breast from Earth Fare, for Thanksgiving.  I’m pretty proud of myself that I really think I can pull off having a Thanksgiving dinner without getting off the couch.  More about that in my next post.

Sunday, was not a good day.  I know it was because I couldn’t sleep Saturday night so I was all out of whack on Sunday, but knowing why, and having it happen, really doesn’t help that much does it?  I didn’t get to sleep until after 4:30am.  Then my dear dog woke me up around 11am.  She really doesn’t bother me much, she usually goes to Stuart for everything when I’m asleep because he will wake up and give her things, I often don’t even hear her.  However, I was sleeping a little too late for her, and she decided she had to check on me.  She cuddled up right at my face, she was so cute, but I really wasn’t awake enough to get up.  But I did anyway.  Straight to the couch.

My hubby made me breakfast, but I was still hungry.  But I was also very dizzy.  He said he was going upstairs to take a shower, so I decided to go upstairs too, just in case something happened he would be able to hear me.  I ended up crawling up the stairs, and hobbling to the bed with much help from Stuart.  I took a Valium and Phenergan.  After about 20mins, I still felt bad, so I used a Phenergan suppository too.

I was so sleepy, but every time I closed my eyes the world would start to spin.  Does anyone else ever have that happen when you are really tired?  I don’t feel well even with my eyes open, but at least the world isn’t going round and round, then as soon as I close my eyes I feel like everything is moving.  It’s hard….I’m so sleepy yet I’m afraid to close my eyes.

I was still hungry though, if I’m hungry my symptoms get worse.  So Stuart brought me half of a sweet potato.  It helped.  He then left to start grilling chicken.  I had left over Wild Rice Blend I’d made in the crock pot the day before, and I made a pot of black beans over night on Saturday night.  We also had broccoli we bought the day before.  It was starting to smell very good downstairs, but thankfully, I dozed off.  And slept for a couple of hours.

So, the great lunch my darling husband was making, became my dinner.  It was very good.  I was feeling much better, but I was still suffering from some pretty serious disequilibrium.

Today, the disequilibrium is still there, but I am hearing better out of my left ear than I have in months.  What’s up with that?  I even did without my amplifier when Stuart and I were having a chat over lunch.  That was nice.

My hearing is still pretty tinny, and it’s not picking up all frequencies just right, but I can understand what my husband is saying.  I love that.