Last night I went to small Christmas gathering, I even drove myself! I was very proud. Unfortunately, during the party I started getting a pretty bad headache, and then I noticed my hearing dropped. Dramatically dropped.
I came home and my stomach was killing me, something I ate at this gathering had caused me a lot of distress. I ate half of a sandwich and was feeling much better. Well, my stomach felt better….not my head, and the hearing was still way down.
I decided to take one of the pressure pills. (the pills Dr. Gray gave me that would reduce the spinal fluid pressure if it started building up too high. She said to take one if I had a headache.) My headache did not get better, I decided to take 1/2 of a pain pill and try to sleep. I slept for 3 hours and woke up in horrible pain. My neck, shoulders, and head all hurt. Plus, my hands felt all tingly. I took a couple of Tylenol, and tried to massage some areas and stretch and finally I was able to go back to sleep.
This morning when I woke up my hands were still tingling, and soon the headache started. I’ve been fighting a headache all day. Stuart and I went out for a while today, we went to buy him a pair of jeans, then we went to the grocery store. The grocery store was packed because it was snowing. People in NC freak out when it calls for snow. Unfortunately, we really had to get some groceries or I never would have braved that mob.
When we got home my head was about to pound off. I again started with the pressure pill. It didn’t help my head at all, and soon my neck and shoulders were cramping again, and my hands were all tingly. I looked up the side effects of this medication. It says that these are “Serious Side Effects – seek medical attention immediately”. Well, I knew that it would wear off soon, so I didn’t seek medical attention immediately, but I won’t be taking any more of those pills. Stuart is going to call Dr. Gray tomorrow. (Yes, I know it will be Sunday, but that’s what she gave me her pager and cell phone number for, right? She can always decide not to call me back until Monday.)
I’m so scared that the blood patch didn’t take, or maybe I was just starting to feel better because it was my time to start feeling better and now I’m starting to feel bad again. Yesterday, I was so happy. I had a long conversation with a friend on the phone, and I drove myself to a party…I actually went to a party, by my self, at night! Today, I can’t talk on the phone, and I’m afraid to push it. I’m really scared the procedure didn’t work.
Well, if it didn’t, we’ll figure out something. It may not be the cure that this procedure was hoping for, but it will be something. My doctors will have learned a lot more about this disease, and I will have had at least a small reprieve. I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and find a way to have a life despite my illness.
3 thoughts on “I’m scared.”
I continue to keep you in my positive thoughts. Huge, Healing Hugs
I am hoping that when you get this you will be feeling better. If not, please know that I am praying for you. Last year we entered a contest to win a trip to Mexico. We were called and told that we were in the top 10 families to be chosen. We were so excited…. and then when we didn’t hear anything for the longest time my daughter was upset and mad that she had been so excited about something that didn’t happen. I told her that of course it wasn’t a waste. I reminded her of how much fun we had planning to go away and how exciting it was to have hope. So I will say the same to you. It is wonderful to have hope. Hang on to that feeling you have had this last little while and cling to that hope. When all else fails…..Hope lives on.
P.S. A real happy ending…we did end up winning the trip and so will you 🙂
Once again Deb has such wise words that I truly can’t say it any better! 🙂 Hang in there. You are strong. You are a warrior. I understand your disappointment but this game ain’t over yet.
Thinking of you-