After Saturday’s bout with bipolar rage and my continued mood fluctuations I’m reminding myself about self care. Eating right, getting enough sleep, getting some form of exercise, keeping a routine, abstaining from caffeine, alcohol, watching or reading anything that is upsetting, or anything that may alter my mood, ……these are a must when dealing with my bipolar disorder.
I’m paying very close attention to my moods and trying to step back and refocus before things get out of control. (yes, I’ve had a few moments of quick anger, but I took a step back, cleared my mind and took a deep breath. I’m happy to say it’s been working well, it’s just hard to stay on top of)
I’m trying hard to stay in the moment. Worrying about what has happened, or what may happen will only make things worse. That worry could be a trigger.
I’m attempting to meditate more. Meditation helps to calm my racing thoughts, but I have to realize it’s okay to have those racing thoughts while I’m meditating, I just note them and come back to my breath without judgement. That’s the big thing. No judgement. Beating myself up doesn’t help matters, it will only cause me more anxiety. Being gentle with myself.
I have Stuart watching me too. I know sometimes my moods will shift and I don’t realize I’m overreacting. We realized that if he said I was overreacting I might get really angry, instead, when he sees that I’m not acting like myself, he hugs me. So far, it’s worked. I was started to get worked up and angry, and Stuart came over and just held me and I melted. I know there are times that I would not respond well to this, but after talking about everything this was the best option we could come up with, and it’s working…so far. Another huge thing I’m making sure I’m doing: talking with my husband. We are working hard to make sure the lines of communication are open.
I saw my psych doc yesterday. We are adding another mood stabilizer to the mix that helps more with the anger aspects of bipolar. After I’m on it for a while, we will probably reduce the other one I’m on and hopefully get rid of it, and let the new one take over. Funny to say “new one”, I think it’s the oldest bipolar med. I’m going back on lithium. Wish me luck!