They were able to give me an IV with just one stick. The nurse said I have very challenging veins, but she did a great job! The orders called for 2 IV’s one in each arm, but she said I was suck a hard stick, if they needed another IV going, they could do it after I was out. I just loved her!
Everyone who took care of me was so nice and they worked hard to make sure I could see their mouths and talk slowly so I could read their lips. They even let me wear my CI’s into the operating room. I wish they let me keep my glasses, they are a lot less expensive to replace if something happened. The surgical nurse was amazing, she put me at ease so fast I immediately trusted her. I knew she’d take care of me and my CI’s and wouldn’t let anything happen to them.
I only had to have light anesthesia, going under general anesthesia is always scary and a lot harder to come out of. Propofol was my friend. I do wonder if I talk while I’m out of it, I sure was talkative when I woke up, I knew I was talking too much but I couldn’t shut up! I know it was the drugs talking; I bet the attending thought I was insane. All in all it was a good experience, I felt well cared for.
My recovery is much easier than I expected. My doctor didn’t really tell me much about what to expect to recover. When Stuart asked him how long my recovery be, he said. “about 20 mins”, obviously he meant that’s how long I’d be in recovery after surgery, but we didn’t really talk about it afterward. So I consulted Dr. Google, and it said that it would take a few weeks for me to get use out of my hand again, some even said I might have a cast. I was prepared to have very little ability to do much of anything with my right hand for 2 – 6 weeks. Boy was Dr Google wrong! I just have a little bandage, and was told to make sure and move my thumb as much as possible. Shocker! I actually have more range of motion than I did before the surgery, but I still have pain in my wrist, it’s just different pain. This pain is from the incision, it’s not sharp and tight like it was; I could actually live with this pain, I wouldn’t want to, but I could. Well it is much more painful when I over do it.
Lorraine was willing and able to keep Mindfulness Monday going in my absence. She is an amazing friend, it blows my mind that we’ve never met in person.
I was able to drive to a friend’s house the day before my surgery. I haven’t been driving again for long, so going about 30 minutes away from home was a big step!
My dog loves me so much! She brings me such joy!
I’m now in my niece and nephew’s life. We’re baby sitting tomorrow night, I’m excited that we will be able to spend quality time with them, just us.
I went to my new PCP for the first time today. She did make me nervous and I’m not 100% sure I’ll keep her as my PCP, but I’m grateful that I finally found one that was excepting new patients so I could get a referral to see a Neuro-otologist, he’s a Meniere’s specialist. I’ll tell more about this visit in an upcoming post.
for my husband, again. He was so wonderful this past week. He took me to my surgery and took the next day off and half a day on Thursday to take care of me. He does take really good care of me.
I have much in my life to be thankful for, like the TToT challenge from Ten Ten Things of Thankful They are a great community and I’m so happy I found them….Thanks Faith. I’d love to hear what you are thankful for this week, tell me about it in the comments, or join in the challenge to post Ten Things of Thankful . (There is not a requirement, or a limit to the amount of things you list. 10 is a goal, if you are having a challenging week and can only post on thing, please share it….and you can share what you are having a hard time with, this community is very supportive.
Coming soon: First, a little update about my recovery, and second, my experience so far with Medical Marijuana…stay tuned.
(please forgive me for not being able to get around and seeing what so many of you have been up to lately, I hope you understand. If you’ve had something happen and you want to make sure I’ve seen it, please share. I never want to miss what is most important to my friends.)
There are days when you have a hard time. Days when you can’t think of anything but what is going wrong. It’s on those days that I find it most important to step back and look around me at the things I’m grateful for.
Today is a day I want to really look around and pay attention to what is in front of me, I know I have so much to be grateful for!
I’m grateful I woke up today. What? You think I’m joking? I thought I’d start at the beginning of my day, and I thought what is the first think I’m grateful for today? I’m grateful I’m here. I’m grateful that I’m alive. I’m grateful I can breathe. Oh there is a good one! Last night I had a very difficult time breathing, I coughed and coughed, and had a hard time taking a deep breath. I had used my inhaler and it didn’t seem to do anything. I did a nebulizer treatment, and I could breathe better, but of course I had the shakes for a long time afterward (I really hate that thing, a necessary evil). Then I started coughing again, and well, it was a not so great breathing night. Just one of those nights for me. I did sleep without much coughing, so that is great! We’re working on getting the chronic bronchitis under control, but haven’t gotten there yet. I’m not complaining. Last night was a rougher night than usual, the weather changed….rainy, damp…that makes it worse. Again, not complaining, just stating the facts. I accept it as it is, and I am fine with it. I will be going to a new pulmonologist soon and we will work at getting this more under control. I am very grateful that I can breathe better today.
I’m grateful my husband can walk our new dog every morning, and she is so good about it! When we first talked about getting another dog Stuart said he didn’t want to have to walk it. Then we met Kiki, and knew she was the right dog. I was having hip problems, but thought it was going to be over very soon. The doctors thought it was just a little inflammation, I was scheduled to get a hip injection and they thought that would be the end of it. So when we decided to start fostering Kiki, I had planned to be the major caregiver. Little did we know I would fall the night after my injection causing me to have a herniated disc in my back, and now a month later, I’m still not walking Kiki. I’m still not walking much at all. However, Kiki is the best dog about taking walks. If you are in a hurry, she will go very fast. She isn’t the kind of dog who will just go out and sniff and sniff just for the sake of it. If you go out and walk out to the tree and then walk back toward the house, she will go. No problem. Often, in the mornings she will run Stuart outside, go real fast, and run back in and go back to bed! She says….”Bye Dad! I’m ready to go back to sleep!” He has even said that he likes taking her for walks! I’m a little envious. I’m very grateful they have bonded and the walking issue, never became an issue!
I’m very grateful my doctor thinks my herniated disc will heal with just a little physical therapy. Yep, right now I’m bored out of my mind. I’m so tired of not being able to do anything. I can’t walk far without pain, I keep waking up because of pain, I can’t sit long without pain, well it just hurts. I’m so relieved that the spine specialist thinks that I will heal with very conservative treatment! Yay!! I’ll happy dance when I can!!
I’m grateful I didn’t gain weight while taking steroids. Oh boy, oh boy can we get happy about this one?! The steroids made me go out of my mind, I was climbing the walls and wanted to destroy people, but I didn’t gain weight! I didn’t weigh myself for the past month, it was too hard to try to step on the scales, I finally weighed this past week. I lost 4 pounds! For inquiring minds….that is a total of 44 pounds lost so far!!
I’m grateful I understand I can’t trust my emotions right now because of the steroids. I was actually very proud of myself for my self control and for understanding that it was the steroids that were making me feel so horrible. They are still nagging at me a bit, I have one more dose, but you know it will take a little while before they are out of my system….so I can’t trust my emotions. That is a good thing to keep in mind. It is very difficult for someone who is bipolar to feel this way. I am always very on top of my emotions, very in tuned to how I’m feeling. I have to be. If I start noticing that my feelings are our of sync with how they should be, I need to talk to my doctor. By this I mean, I need to watch out if react to something in an inappropriate way. For instance, the other day, I said to Stuart, “Why don’t you use your damn common sense once in a while?!?” in reaction to him just asking me a simple question. This was VERY inappropiate! I do not talk to him that way, and I couldn’t calm down. I was sitting there suddenly saying….”I don’t act like this any more! I don’t feel like this anymore!” I took some deep breaths, centered myself, and calmed down. Apologized over and over to my dear husband and explained I couldn’t help it and it would probably happen again. I was full of anger I couldn’t control and he was probably going to get the brunt of it. He was a dear sweet love and hugged me and understood. Yes, he did get it a couple of other times, nothing like that time, and we dealt with it very well because we talked about it and how the medication was affecting me. I’m so grateful I have a husband that communicates with me and understands about uncontrollable emotions due to steroids.
I’m grateful for a small place to live. I’m grateful for a place to live that is safe. I’m grateful for a place to live that is peaceful. I’m grateful for our place. I have been a little ungrateful for out little place lately, and just now I realized just how very grateful I am for this place. I really do love this little place in many ways. I love that it is small. I am very grateful I do not have to climb stairs right now. I couldn’t. It is so much easier for me to get around this little place. I have been feeling a bit claustrophobic in here lately, and way too isolated. I know it’s because I just can’t do anything. My mind wants to do something and my body says NO. (yeah I’m working on that) I’m very grateful that of all the places we looked at to rent we found this peaceful little place. It is quiet here, (yes that is so important to a deaf person…haha). There is little traffic on the street. There are more people out walking their dogs in my neighborhood than there their are cars that pass by! I just think that is so cool! Yes, as I write this little piece I’m much more grateful about the place I live.
I’m grateful Kiki loves her new toy so much! Yes it is the little things that bring joy into our lives! Kiki loves her little toy so much! She has forsaken all of her other toys for the one she picked out at the pet store. It is a little beaver…I think. It has a recycled bottle inside so it crunches, and it has a squeaky toy in the tail. She loves this thing so much! She carries it around, and gets so excited. She will chase it, she will play hide and seek with it, she will run and get it and bring it to you just to show it to you…..”Look! LOOK! SEE! my toy!!!!” She takes it to bed with her. She doesn’t play with it in bed, no she just has to have it with her. If I’m in a different room she will go check on me then she will go and get her toy and bring it to the door and show it to me….like she is showing the toy where I am?? Then she will leave. She has so much fun with her toy, and it brings me much joy playing with her with it, and just watching her with this toy! I will never get tired of watching her play!
I’m grateful my husband took me out yesterday for a short trip to the mall and I found a bra that fit – First Try On!!! don’t really need to follow up on that one….but I will! I must say, this is the very first time this has happened, and it is amazing to me. After losing so much weight I went in and completely guessed my size! I was not up to trying on a lot, this bra was on mega sale and I thought, OK, I’ll try it. I had on an old bra that was too small, so I adjusted the size from it….and Wow! I’m still amazed that it fit, and it just looks and feels so great. No gaps, no pinching, no pulling…..I’m a happy woman! It was also on such a mega sale I won’t feel bad if when I lose more weight and soon need a different size! One thing that is a little different about me losing weight….I have bigger boobs. I’ve always liked my breast. I have felt they were just the right size, not too big, not too small…just right. When I gain weight, they have always stayed pretty much the same. They didn’t get really big with me. (a lot of women gain a lot there, I didn’t.) Yes I’m silly, but just thinking about it, if things keep going as they are I’m going to be a bit bigger. Right now I’m a cup size bigger than I normally am at this band size. Stuart likes it. hahaha However, I can’t imagine him not liking anything about my body….he is a bit biased. and I’m very grateful for that!
oh there is so much to be grateful for!! I’m feeling so much better than I was when I started this post! I’m grateful I have so much to be grateful for...here’s a few more….
I’m grateful I got to tell my sister how I was feeling about some things. It doesn’t matter if things don’t change, I’m just so grateful that we talked and I know she knows some things now that were stuck in my head and I needed to let it out. It’s hard to put some things in the past if you don’t know if other people have put it there, or heck, if they even know about it. Yeah, try to wrap your head around that one. I just feel better about things. I’m grateful for that.
I’m grateful that I’m emotional. (no one needs to understand that one. It just really used to bother me, now, I’m glad. I like having deep feelings. It may hurt a lot sometimes, but it is also pretty darn great other times. Being “emotional” is not a bad thing.)
I’m grateful I found this meditation on forgiveness….I needed it….Forgiveness Meditation(this is just a written page, not a link to a guided meditation, read if you want. I liked it a lot.)
I’m grateful I have some friends I can reach out to, even if I don’t have any I can see in person.
I’m grateful I have clean water. (I really don’t like the water from our tap here, we have started using bottled water, and I’m so grateful for it. It really makes me think a lot about people who can’t get clean water at all. I’m so very grateful that not only do I have running water in my home, but I am able to get wonderfully clean water whenever I want it.
I’m grateful I have access to fresh food. Something else I have thought about a lot lately. I have talked a lot about the change in my diet, how I’ve lost so much weight and how much healthier I am because of my new eating habits. I haven’t mentioned some of the other things I’ve noticed that I can only attribute to my diet change. My hair is thicker. My fingernails smoother and less brittle. My skin is clearer. I can tell you I haven’t changed my hair products, nor have I done anything different to my nails, so I can only attribute those changes to my diet. I did change my facial wash, but I will admit I don’t use it every day. I am a self proclaimed foodie. I love good food. I love fresh food. I’m grateful that even though we have had very lean times over the past couple of years, we have always managed to eat as fresh as possible. We have cut corners every where we could so we could spend a little more on our groceries. We do still spend wisely in the grocery store, but let’s face it, fresh fruits, veggies, and high quality meats are expensive. For some people it is a matter of choice, but sometimes it is a matter of not being able to afford food…period. Can you imagine if you simply could not afford to buy groceries at all? There are so many people who go to bed hungry every night. So many people who are malnourished. My gratefulness about food is huge. I’m so grateful that I now have the knowledge to be able to nourish my body in a healthy way, and am able to provide it with all the food that it needs.
I’m grateful I have this blog to write about things….and I’m very grateful that there are some people out there that read it. Yep….this is what I needed today.
I really do appreciate life so much!
I love my life!
Do I have challenging days? Yes!
Will I feel bad on days again? Yes!
Do I accept my life the way it is? Yes!
Do I wish it were different? Sometimes….I’m working on a NO for that answer, but I think “Sometimes” is pretty good. I still love my life, just as it is, even if nothing changes, even if it gets worse, I still love my life!!
That’s pretty important I think. I love my life, all the good parts, all the bad parts, all the fun parts, all the hard parts….I love my life!
I recently wrote a post that could easily have taken up 3 posts worth of writing. You know if I wrote that much in one sitting I have a lot on my mind. You also know if I’m making up words to say how I feel, I’m in a one heck of a state!
Some of the things I have written you will still see, I’m breaking it up into a couple of post, some of it you won’t….I have decided I just can’t talk about it here. Maybe some day, but not now. I want to, I think it will help some people, but it’s just something that I can’t talk about yet, at least not here. And that’s hard on me, for a number of reasons.
So…on to what I will talk about… (and it turns out this post is MUCH longer than anticipated….yep it’s one of those days. as you get to the end you will understand, but forgive any errors please, I couldn’t go through and edit this, I am in too much pain. But I wanted to get it posted. at least part of it needs a voice…..)
Saturday my father and sister came for a little visit. It was nice. Even though we only live one state away we don’t get to see each other much. They don’t get to come often, and I can’t travel very often. Unfortunately, since our trip to Tucson, 2 years ago, I haven’t been able to travel at all. I thought it was going to be better the last few months, but then I hurt my hip. Now I can’t ride in the car across town without being in severe pain. So who knows when I can go to South Carolina. Thankfully, my sister brought my dad to see me. We had a nice lunch and visit, then they were on their way. Before they came I decided to get a shot of Toradol, an anti-inflamatory to help me not be in intense pain while they were here. I wish I could have them more often, but you can’t take them on a regular basis. I was very pleased that I could visit with them without worrying too much about the pain. I was also happy I could hear them fairly well. I couldn’t hear my father at first, but after a little while I realized if I sat closer to him I could hear him better. What a relief. I felt bad that I could understand everyone else, but was having such difficulty understanding him. All in all, a good visit.
After they left I decided my hip was still feeling well enough we could go and meet the dear lady from the agency who had Kiki and make her adoption final. So off the Pet Supermarket we went. Luckily, they are very nice there and let me have a chair to sit in while we shopped a bit and adopted our newest family member. Since the vet thinks Kiki is between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 we decided that her adoption date is her 2nd birthday! So September 27th is her birthday! She was lavished with gifts. She got a new sweater, because she has been cold on some of these early fall mornings when she goes out. It is red, and looks quite fetching on her sleek black and white body. She also got a new toy that she loves! She has abandoned all of her other toys for this toy, it is so funny! She also got a new tag, a little purple heart with her name and phone number on it….we need to get her microchip reprogrammed. She is officially ours now! I was so very happy when we were in the store and one of the people who work there told me that he had seen Kiki so often when she was there waiting to be adopted and she looks like a different dog. She is so happy and well mannered. He said it is amazing how much she has changed in just the short time we have had her. That couldn’t have made me happier. I knew then, that yes, Kiki really was meant to be our little girl.
Saturday night I was getting ready for bed. I was sitting on the side of the bed taking my night meds and suddenly I felt the Meniere’s signals. Okay, this has not been unusual lately. I’ve been very acute for the past month or more. Having mini attacks many times a day, so I wasn’t worried. I took a deep breath and calmly tried to focus. Then FLUSH..heat through my body. Ugh. OK. Calm. Focus. You got this. Whoosh. better lie down. Focus. feel the hand on the table it is steady. you are not moving. HEAT. HOT. I’M ON FIRE. Stuart walks in. “Attack?” “yep. ice.” Focus. breathe deep. calm. calm. Spinning faster. wow. deep breath. focus calm. you got this. it’s ok. spin. stop. spin. stop. breath…..Ice..Good! Still hot. chest hurts. can’t breath deep. calm. spinning fast still. calm. calm. it’s ok. it’s part of you. you can do it. “Stuart…shot please” focus calm. calm. so tired. (took meds earlier. Stuart got shot ready,(I’m lucky I have Phenergan shots available to me, it is an anti-nausea/vomiting drug) he was about to give it to me and dropped it. Couldn’t find it. suddenly spinning stopped. yes. OK. rest.
BAM. started going the other way! What the? OK…calm down. but this is weird. you can do it. focus. feel your hand. – what the heck is happening? this is not right. – it’s all OK. focus. calm calm. focus. it’s just different. – no, this is very different. now it’s jumping all around. what is going on? – calm down. calm down. calm calm. focus. it’s kind of freaking me out he can’t find that shot – focus on your focal point. it will be alright. – I need the damn shot! I’m getting scared. – shhhh. calm down. focus. focus. breathe. calm..calm. this is not real. the room is not moving. You are not moving. calm breathe. – Ah…shot. It will be better soon. – Calm…calm…shhh. AH! oh my gosh….”Stuart”. “I’m right here babe. I’m not leaving you.” “I can’t stay awake. I’m all dopey. If I fall asleep it gets worse! I’m so sick. I’m scared. It hurts. My stomach hurts.” “I’m right here, you are safe. I’ll try and keep you awake if you want”
This went on for a long while. I kept dozing off no matter what. It was horrible. I would wake up spinning even more! Then I got VERY sick. I was going to throw up. But nothing came up. I just gagged, and coughed, and mucus from my lungs came up. I couldn’t take a breath in! I had this huge gag that felt like vomit was coming up but it was like a HUGE burp came up then I couldn’t breathe. My lungs hurt. I was having an asthma attack and trying to throw up at the same time! I was so afraid I was going to have to go to the ER because I could not breathe. Stuart was holding me putting my inhaler in my mouth for me. I got enough in to breathe again. (afterward he told he kept watching to make sure I was getting in some air and not having any signs of needing oxygen….but he is also thinking we may need to see about getting oxygen for me at home.)
Finally, it calmed down enough that when I dozed I stayed asleep. And I slept! The pain from my hip did not wake me up at all that night. I was so exhausted.
The next day, was hangover hell.
I felt so bad. I was trying so hard not to feel like I handled thing badly. I really freaked out. I panicked bad. I couldn’t stay mindful. I couldn’t accept what was happening to me. I hated my body, I hated my life, I was afraid I was dying and hoping I’d just hurry up and die at the same time.
This is not what I have been working so hard on. This is not mindfulness. But it is. Mindfulness is a practice. You can’t beat yourself up if you don’t live up to your expectations all the time.
Mindfulness is not just about making it better. It is about feeling how you are, how things are now, and not being judgmental about it. It is about being gentle with yourself. On Saturday night, I could not accept my condition. I could not handle my situation without panicking. That was the way it was. I could feel every nerve in my body screaming that it wanted this to end. I couldn’t accept that this was just the was it was…I fought it. But I was there with it. I had a hard time looking back at it non-judgmentally. But now I can. I can look back and say, I had a damn hard night. I handled it the best I could. Things happened that have never happened before, and it really scared me. Who knows, I may have handled it better than I would have in the past, because of my mindfulness practice? I’m okay with how I handled it. At first I was sad about it. I felt like I failed myself. I didn’t. Mindfulness is hard. Living mindfully is not easy. But it does making living your life easier. Or at least it has mine.
So I’m off to being more accepting of how my life is, even when it’s that bad. It’s my life. It’s much easier on me when I accept that. If I try to fight it, it makes it worse. It really is better when I accept that I have my illnesses, and I have the symptoms, and all the things that they cause. I have found that I can deal with those symptoms better when I stop fighting them so hard. I feel better. I cope better. Heck, the symptoms have been easier.
I’m just saying how I feel about all of this, I’m feel I’m just testifying..haha. I’ll write a more coherent post about this sometime. With references. Or maybe I’ll find a guest writer. Who knows. For now, we’ll just see how it goes with me….hope that’s alright with all of you.
On Sunday, I decided I couldn’t stand the pain and the constant Meniere’s attacks any longer. They use steroids to break both cycles. However, too high of a dose of steroids can really mess you up with Meniere’s and make you have worse attacks. So I started on the dose that the urgent care doctor gave me and put a call in to my otologist at Duke on Monday. Unfortunately, it was phone tag for a few days, and then he wasn’t comfortable messing with this prescription. I do not think he understood the situation!! I am so beside myself right now! I mean right now, I just found out about this. I am looking at these pills trying my best to figure out the best way to ramp down off of them without it being too drastic. Going from 4 on one day to 2 on the next is not a good idea. So I take out the prescription bottle and count how many I have left. 10. Wait, I should have more than that to meet the original prescription. I count again. 10. STRESS! I filled this prescription weeks ago. Will the pharmacy really believe they shorted me?
Thankfully, yes they did. I got 6 more pills. I can do this. Breathe. Take the day as it comes, and accept it. That’s all I can do. So….I sit down and think. I will figure out how to ramp down the steroids that is between the prescription the urgent care doctor gave me and the prescription my ear doctor gave me before. I’m sure I’ll be fine. It’s not quite such a severe drop between going down. Should I be messing with my prescription? Heck I don’t know! But I feel better, with this regimen. I’m too afraid to ramp down so fast.
For those of you who have been reading for a while….remember the Walmart incident? That happened because a doctor put me on a high dose of steroids that ramped down too fast.
Now you once again have a VERY LONG POST.
and I’m too tired to read over it to fix any errors. I’m being a very bad blogger. I hope you will forgive me. I just fell again today….I’m not going to write about that now! I’ll tell all about my back/hip/leg pain after my doctor’s visit on the 6th! I’m sorry, but I’m not up to being an editor today. 🙂 My back/hip/leg thing…just isn’t going to get better if I keep falling is it? Of course, that’s why I’m falling!! I can handle it…..one moment at a time. I can handle anything for a moment, after all, isn’t that really all we know we have, this moment?
***rest in peace to my cousin Curtis Winslow. My childhood memories are full of you. 1958 – October 1, 2014
On Sunday, September 7th we walked into Pet Supermarket to get Max some cat food and met this little girl:
She was very scared and shy. She wanted me to pet her, but wasn’t sure. Then she looked at me and I think she suddenly she realized, I was a good one. I bent down to her and she came up to my face and gave me the tiniest lick on my nose. Tears welled in my eyes. I knew this dog needed me.
Her name is Kiki. She is about 2 1/2 years old. She is a Terrier mix. Looks like she is probably a Rat Terrier, with maybe some Chihuahua in there? She is a little thing, she weighs about 13 lbs. One of the first things you will notice about her is that she has a crooked front left leg. This is part of her sad history.
Kiki has had a rough life so far. We know she was in an abusive situation, that is where the broken leg came from. It healed without being tended to. I can’t imagine the pain she had to have been in. She then ended up in a shelter where she was adopted by a lady who had 11 dogs. She was a hoarder. The dogs were not house trained. They were not socialized or exercised. Her neighbor had adopted a cat from the agency that ended up with Kiki, the Tasha, the founder of the agency, tried to talk the lady into letting her find homes for some of the animals but she wouldn’t let her. The lady was subsequently evicted and that is when the Tasha got Kiki. She had her for a month trying to get her socialized, at least partially house trained, and just calm before trying to find her a forever home. Kiki has been with her for about 3 months and has really shown what a wonderful dog she is.
When we first met Kiki she would growl at Stuart sometimes. Actually, she growled here and there at anyone. Stuart said she growled at me a couple of times, but I never heard it. (the wonders of being deaf, huh?) We talked to her Tasha and asked about fostering her for a little while before deciding about adoption, explaining that we weren’t sure if our big old cat would accept a dog in the family. We did foster a dog for a little while once before and Max did not accept him at all. However, he was a big dog, and a puppy. We were hopeful that this situation would be different. Kiki is smaller than Max, and she has lived with cats before so she is used to them. Tasha understood and said she was willing to let us foster her for a few weeks before we adopted her. We took an application with us to talk it over and get things started.
On Thursday of that week, right after I got my hip injection, Kiki arrived at our home.
She was not too sure she really wanted to be here at first. I felt so bad. She was very attached to Tasha. Kiki cried and cried when she left her with us.
After a few hours she got a bit more settled. She did play some with me that night, and slept curled up beside me. It became apparent she was going to bond with me, but it was going to be a little bit harder with Stuart. So I had him give her treats, and spend more time with her and suddenly I came out to find….
They are best buddies now! She is still wary of him when he has on his work clothes, but she warms up fast as soon as he puts on his every day clothes. I guess she just doesn’t like a man dressed up! She used to get very upset when she got crowed. We live in a small place now, if two people pass in the hall, it is crowded. Kiki would often growl and cower if we were suddenly over her, she has gotten used to it now. She is adapting so fast, I’m so very proud of her.
In these two pictures you can see how her leg healed when it was broken. We still have to take her to see a vet to see if she is in pain, or if this will affect her in her later in life, or if there is anything we should do about it? We know we can’t afford to pay for her to have major reconstructive surgery at this time, but if she needs to have surgery, we can start to save for it now. She does not act as if it hurts. She runs and jumps without favoring it. In the photo it looks as if she is favoring it, but when she walks she puts her weight on it. It breaks my heart to know someone hurt her like that. I can only promise her that I will try my best to make sure no one ever hurts her again.
We were asked if we would keep her name. We thought about it….should we change it? Truthfully, we wouldn’t have named her Kiki, but she likes it. She listens to it. We thought about changing it to Mini, it sounds close so I’m sure she would get used to it. We thought it would be cute because we have a Max. But she’s Kiki. Stuart often calls her Kikster! He has also called her Yoda because of her ears. She does have Yoda ears. A friend said she could have multiple names, Kiki Mini Yoda…now we keep playing around and singing her songs every night adding names on to her. hahaha However, she is Kiki.
We knew it was a good sign between Kiki and Max when they didn’t chase each other. They were a little curious, but mainly stayed out of each others way. Then on day 3 I was lying in bed reading and Kiki fell asleep on one side of me, and Max came up and went to sleep on the other side. I was in a pet sandwich! Wow! I was amazed! Then yesterday I walked in the living room and saw this:
They had both taken my seat! Most importantly though, I think they are pretty comfortable with each other! Every once in a while they will chase each other. I’m not sure if they are really chasing each other, or playing. I think they are playing. When they catch each other, they just stop. It’s kind of funny.
We haven’t officially adopted Kiki yet. However, we do plan to. We just want to have her checked out by the vet first. I can’t imagine what they could possibly say that would make us not adopt her. We just feel it would be irresponsible for us to go into this adoption without knowing everything.
For those of you who have followed my blog for a while know how much the loss of my dog Sandy left a huge open hole in my heart. It has been about 2 1/2 years since she died. We feel it is a good time for us to add a new member into our pack. We think Kiki is a good fit. I also feel Sandy has had a little paw in selecting her. There have been a few little things that she does that are just so “Sandy”. Suddenly I can talk about Sandy without crying. I feel this sadness lifted. She has not been replaced in any way, I feel she wanted me to help another dog the way I helped her. I feel like I’m fulfilling a promise, and her memory is living on in this new little furry baby.
This has been a very joyful time and a very hard time for me. People who are going to adopt a pet have many things to consider. Chronically ill people have many more things to consider. This is a huge responsibility. I have been doing so much better recently I thought I could take care of Kiki mostly on my own. I was writing stories of the future. Just as worrying does no good because we can’t do anything about the future, expecting the future to be as the same as it is today is also fruitless. Everything changes. We have to remember, we can’t predict the future. When things hit us from out of the blue, we have to make room for it and adjust.
I’ll explain in my next post. …..teaser……my hip condition is complicated so, I suddenly have a dog and can’t walk her, at least not right now………