Tag: chronic illness

Mudita – Finding Joy in the Joy of others. (repost)

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Mindfulness13 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about Mudita recently and thought it was worth a look back at this post I wrote last December.  I realized that practicing mudita has freed me from the heartache that often came when I couldn’t do what others could (that’s not to say that I don’t still feel that heartache sometimes, I do, but not like I used to).  A friend of mine is planning a trip to Italy, a place I always wanted to go, I was a little surprised that I was not the slightest bit envious of her, I’m genuinely happy that she gets to experience this, and I can’t wait to hear every detail.  I can feel her joy, and it fills my heart.

I hope you enjoy this post from the past.

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“Mudita is a word from Sanskrit and Pali that has no counterpart in English. It means sympathetic or unselfish joy, or joy in the good fortune of others.” (1)

I bring up Mudita now because those of us who are sick often find it very hard not being able to participate in celebrations this time of year.  We feel we are stuck on the outside just looking in, and as we look in we are envious.  We can’t feel joy.  Mudita is the opposite of envy.  When we feel mudita we feel joy in the joy of others.  We are genuinely happy that others are having a good time, even though we can’t join them.

This feeling doesn’t happen over night.  It’s hard to overcome those feelings of envy.  We don’t want to feel this way, but we have to admit, that’s the way we often feel when things come up and we can’t join in the fun.  We don’t feel joy in the fun the others are having, we feel sadness and anger that we can’t join them.

I first read about mudita when I read How To Be Sick by Toni Bernhard.  At the time my husband was playing games with a group of friends and I used to be envious that he had this group and I didn’t have anything like it.  He’d call me from there and I’d get this knot in my stomach and feel horrible because of this envy.  Then one day I realized how much he needed this time, how much he loved this activity and how much my envy hurt him.  (even though I thought I hid it well)  I remembered what I learned from reading Toni’s book.  I remembered mudita.  It didn’t happen overnight, but in time I started feeling joy when hubby would call from his game and sound excited about how things were going.  At first I faked it.  I knew I should feel joy for him so when I talked to him I put on a smile and told myself how happy I was for him and how much joy this made me feel.  Did I feel this at first.  No.  But after a while when he called I was truly happy.  I felt joy hearing how the night was going.  I was no longer faking it.

When trying to practice mudita start small.  Start with someone you don’t know.  When you see someone win a competition feel joy in their joy.  Then when you give a gift, feel the joy the receiver feels (that’s an easy one, I think).  Take it one step at a time and you will be surprised at how much joy you can feel when others feel joy.

It may not happen this holiday season, but perhaps when you can’t participate in the next celebration you might be able to find mudita, and feel joy in the joy of others.

I recommend all of Toni Bernhard’s books:  How to be Sick, How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness, How to Wake Up.  If you are chronically ill and haven’t read it yet, be sure to read How to be Sick.  I’ve read it over and over and keep going back to it.  It helps me live the day.  It makes me feel like I can get through this and thrive.

For further reading on Mudita, of course you can check out Toni’s books, but also check out.

 

*drawing by Wendy Holcombe. Please do not use without permission.

Christmas My Way – Redux

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness7 Comments

I posted this last year and I just read it again.  It made me happy.  I hope it makes you happy too.  This year, it’s Christmas my way again.

christmas-treeWhen I was 30 Christmases as I had known them changed forever.  That was the year my mother died.  Everything changed that year.  When the matriarch of the family dies the traditions die with her.  We tried to keep things alive, we had Christmas at my sister’s house as she had the only grandchild, things weren’t the same, but they were still nice.

Then there was a falling out between me and my niece.  Well not a falling out really, she got mad at me and refuses to be in my presence.  There isn’t much I can do, not that I haven’t tried, I have.  I could speculate all day what has happened between the two of us, but at this point it doesn’t make much difference.  This has however, ruined many relationships for me in my family.  Family Christmases became a thing of the past.

After Stuart and I became a family we started having Christmas celebrations with friends, as Stuart’s family lives a long way away and they don’t do much for the holiday anyway, again they are without the matriarch.  We normally celebrated Christmas day alone, just us, but leading up to that time, we went to parties and had people over to our home to celebrate.  It was a joyous time.  Then I got sick, and things changed.  We no longer got invited to parties.  I no longer felt that I could throw a party.  Then we moved so there is no likelihood of rekindling that time.  Truthfully, we’ve all changed so much, I don’t think there could be any rekindling even if we do move back to our old city, or if I miraculously got better.  Let’s be honest, my old friends really are just that, old friends.  They aren’t a part of my current life.

The last few years I’ve tried to be okay with the holiday.  But truth be told, I’ve been very depressed.  Depression runs rampant during this time of year and I was not immune.  I tried hard not to feel bad that I wasn’t surrounded by people.  I’ve had the one person near me who means the most to me, why should I be depressed?  Because Christmas is a time for friends and family.  A time for gatherings.  It was the two of us, yet I felt lonely.  And I felt guilty that I didn’t feel that it was enough.  I was depressed and felt guilty for being depressed.

Over the past few years I haven’t cared about decorations, we had no tree.  Why hassle with it?  No one would see it.  No one would care.  We’d have a little celebration.  We’d try, but it all seemed like we were just going through the motions.  Christmas is for groups of people, not just the two of us, and we didn’t have a family.

christams-decor
a little decorations making the holiday our own

This year has changed.  No we still don’t have a family, and we aren’t celebrating with any friends.  (We still don’t have any locally)  I changed.  I realized that Christmas really isn’t about family and friends.  It’s all about how you feel inside.  It’s not about giving the biggest gift it’s about giving to those in need.  It’s not about being with a bunch of people it’s about caring for those you are with.  It’s about caring for mankind.

This year I decided to decorate.  I never go all out like some people, that just isn’t me, but we put up a tree, and did a little decorating in the house.  It has made all the difference in our home.  We are in the spirit.  I understood just how much when my loving husband was looking through Amazon and found the National CASA Association Wish List, they provide Toys for Foster Kids, and told me that if I hadn’t purchased his presents yet he wanted the money to go to buying these kids presents.  How special is that?  So we took most of the money we planned to spend on our Christmas presents and bought Toys for Foster Kids.  Realize I did say most, I decided we needed a little gift exchange between the two of us, just a little something.

charlie-brown-puzzle
this is the actual puzzle we put together

We also have other traditions we are going to make sure we revitalize.  We always watch, It’s a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve.  This has been a long standing tradition.  This year we are bringing back putting together the Charlie Brown Christmas puzzle, and our LEGO Christmas Train.  The train will be put together this weekend.  The puzzle goes together on Christmas day.  I don’t have a lot of traditions.  We cook a few little things as the time goes on, and health permits.  We’ve made some cookies so far, we’ll make spiced nuts to give to our neighbors, we’ll make a special breakfast on Christmas day….  The point is we are making this Holiday season ours.   And if at any time I can’t do something because I don’t feel like it we can postpone until later, or just decide not to do it.  All is good during our holiday celebration.

How can you make the season less depressing and more your own?  Remember that it really isn’t about family and friends, it’s about love and giving.  Love everyone and give to those in need.  Honor simple traditions that make you happy, we watch It’s a Wonderful Life.  Make new traditions, like putting together a themed puzzle on Christmas day.  Put up decorations if you want.  If you aren’t able to put up everything you want to, then either ask for help, or try to pick out your favorite decorations and put those out.  We have a small tree, and not all my ornaments fit, so I sit my favorites around as decorations.  The point is to make the holiday your holiday now.  Don’t try to make it what it was when you were well, or what it was when you were growing up, or any dream holiday you have been trying to live up to.  Make this holiday something special, on your own terms.

Sometimes no matter how much we try to make the holiday a pleasant thing for us, it just doesn’t work, depression takes over.  For those who get depressed during this time of year, remember that you are not alone.  If you need to reach out, please do so, there are numbers at the end of this post if you are in need.  If you need a friend to talk to please feel free to contact me.

  • U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255  If you are having thoughts of suicide, call this number immediately.
  • Kristin Brooks Hope Center Hopeline: 1-800-784-2433  This hotline can help you cope with a range of depressive feelings.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)  Responders understand the unique experiences of veterans.
  • United Way Helpline: 1-800-233-4357  They can aid you in locating a therapist, healthcare or basic necessities such as housing and food by directing you to local services.

It takes how long?

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Headaches, Meniere's Disease17 Comments

When you have a chronic illness chances are it’s an invisible illness, others have no idea what you have to do to get through the day.  With my illnesses some days I look sick, some days I can’t get out of the chair and you can tell, I’m sick.  Other days I can get it all together and don’t look sick at all.  It’s those days that confuse people.

I’ve learned that it takes me longer to do things than it does the average human.  There are many days that I can’t accomplish anything, but let’s not talk about those days.  I want to talk to you about the days I am able to do a few things.  The days I appear normal.

Yesterday I started to do the dishes.  The dishwasher needed to be emptied, and there were dirties that needed to go in.  For a normal person this would just take a few minutes.  I started to unload the dishwasher, I got the top unloaded and put away, then I had to rest.  I came back after a bit and started on the bottom, I put away the silverware, and needed a rest.  After about 30 minutes I went back and finished up putting away the rest of the dishes, and started loading up the dishwasher.  While loading it up I took 2 breaks.  Therefore, at the end of this it took me over 3 hours to unload and load the dishwasher.  At this point all I could do was make myself a cup of tea.  This was the end of my ability to do chores for the day.  No one would think that doing the dishes took 3 hours out of my day.  I must say that I’m okay with this.  I’m grateful I can do the dishes at all.  I only wish I could do them every day.

Last week I had an hour to take a bath before a TV show came on that I wanted to see, I thought that would be plenty of time.  Boy was I wrong.  I need to have help getting in and out of the tub because of my balance, that takes a little bit of time, but not much.  I started to take a bath as normal, a little rushed because I wanted to make sure and get out in time, but just a normal bath, then I got dizzy.  Very dizzy.  Try getting a soaking wet 135 lb woman out of the tub when she’s very dizzy, it’s just not that easy, but it’s something that happens a lot around here.  (the reason I am dirty a lot of the time 😉  Getting me in the tub, taking a bath, and getting me out of the tub, took over 2 hours.  Luckily I did have the DVR set for my show.  I know that getting dizzy in the tub is a fairly regular occurrence so I should never put a time limit on it.  But how many people do you know that can’t get a bath done in an hour?

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I don’t look sick.  Taken at a wedding, July 2017

Then there are days when I seem to be able to go non-stop.  Recently I had a weekend like that.  We went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago.  On the day of the wedding, I had my hair done, then I rested a little bit, then we had the wedding at 3pm.  The wedding didn’t actually get under way until about 4pm.  Luckily, I was just sitting talking with people.  After the wedding, we had the reception to attend.  On the walk over, I had a mini vertigo attack, because of my vertigo we didn’t intend to stay long and we had planned to have dinner with my sister and her husband.  Then I started seeing people I have known for over 40 years, and adrenaline took over, about 2 hours later, we were finally leaving  (know that all I did was sit and talk with people).  We went back to our hotel, changed and were off to dinner.  We were finally back to our hotel around 9pm.  I was going full out, all day long.  Boy was I beyond tired.  Not only was I exhausted from the simple physical exertion of it all, and the mini vertigo attack I had at the church, I was completely off kilter from trying so hard to hear all day.  (I did find out that my lip reading skills have improved dramatically.)  Of course, I couldn’t sleep due to painsomnia (insomnia due to pain).  There was only 1 station on the TV that would show captions (yeah, what was up with that?) so I was stuck for hours, watching something dumb, I can’t even remember what it was.  This trip was very enjoyable, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but boy did it take a lot out of me.  It took a week or more to recover fully.  For a “normal” person they could have made the trip in one day.  It’s about a 3 hour ride (I can’t drive).  We could have gone down for the wedding and come back that night, if I were a “normal” person.  Instead we went down Friday night, so I would be well rested for Saturday, and we stayed until Sunday so I could recover as much as possible before the ride home.  I had a lot of support for this trip or I never would have been able to make it.  My neurologist (headache specialist) sent me home with a series of shots to be given over the weekend to help with migraines and cluster headaches, both of which have increased dramatically recently.   The specialist I’ve been seeing for my back called in extra meds for me for the weekend.  If these two doctors had not increased my treatment for the weekend, I would never have been able to go and enjoy myself.  I will be forever grateful.  While there my sister took me to have my hair done, she made sure I could understood everything, even though I couldn’t hear in the salon.  She then came back to our hotel and ironed hubby’s shirt.  Without this help, I don’t know if I could have made it.

To summarize: We don’t always look at bad as we feel, we often need to rest more often than what is considered “normal”, sometimes we have to have a lot of support to do things that “normal” people do without thought….and that’s okay.   We normally appreciate things much more than “normal” people.  We care deeply.  We can still live a full life, it’s just different than a “normal’s” life.  and that’s more than okay.

 

 

Mindfulness Monday – Pooh

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Mindfulness2 Comments

 

Pooh and Piglet with dragon fly 2

Today’s quotes are brought to you by Winnie the Pooh and A.A. Milne

 

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today.” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day.” said Pooh.

 

Piglet – “How do you spell love?”
Pooh – “You don’t spell it, you feel it.”

 

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry.
We shall get there someday”

 

*Drawing of Pooh and Piglet with dragonfly is by W. Holcombe.

 

 

I’m number 44!

On By WendyIn Blog Statistics, Chronic Illness10 Comments

award

I received a message from Feedbot, that they named Picnic with Ants one of the top 100 chronic illness blogs.

You can see all of the blogs and websites who are honored to be listed in the top 100 here. 

This is the introduction from Feedbot explaining their ranking criteria:

“Chronic Illness Blogs List

A chronic illness is a human health condition or disease that is persistent or otherwise long-lasting in its effects or a disease that comes with time. The term chronicis often applied when the course of the disease lasts for more than three months.

These are the Best Chronic Illness blogs from thousands of top Chronic Illness blogs in our index using search and social metrics. Data will be refreshed once a week.

These blogs are ranked based on following criteria

  • Google reputation and Google search ranking
  • Influence and popularity on Facebook, twitter and other social media sites
  • Quality and consistency of posts.
  • Feedspot’s editorial team and expert review”

 

There are some great blogs listed, so be sure to check the 100 Best Chronic Illness Blogs according to Feedbot.

“The Shadow Boxers” – Book Review and Giveaway!

On By WendyIn Book Review, Chronic Illness17 Comments

shadow boxers cover

My friend Kim Johnson over at I Tripped Over a Stone, got together with Karen Anderson and wrote a book to help others find how they can LIVE with fibromyalgia.  They know that with fibromyalgia every day can feel like you are fighting shadows.

With over 50 years of combined experience with fibromyalgia Kim and Karen understand that it doesn’t just affect you physically, it affects you mentally and emotionally as well.

The Shadow Boxers: Fighting Fibromyalgia, Your Personal Journal, is an interactive book where Kim and Karen help you on your own journey.

In The Shadow Boxers…, you will find Kim and Karen’s personal stories from first symptoms to the present.  They prompt you to make your own plan, write down your own ideas, and figure out how to really live your life with fibromyalgia!

The journal features

  • Definitions, with room for you to write your own definition or experience.  For example, they give the definition for a Fibromyalgia Flare, then you are given room to journal what a fibromyalgia flare means to you.  You could write it out, tell of your experience with a fibro flare, draw a picture showing what it means to you….it’s your journal, you get to decide what’s best for you.
  • The Seven Areas of Positive Change.  Discover “seven areas of you life that will respond to positive choices you make”.  Kim and Karen discuss these areas and prompt you to journal about each area.  You could tell how you will incorporate a change in your life, how you have already changed aspects of your life…, again, it’s your journal.  You get to decide how it works best for you.
  • Questions and Answers.  This section contains questions from the fibromyalgia community.  There are sample answers given, then you are given the chance to answer these questions for yourself.
  • Dear Fibromyalgia.  Write your personal letter to Fibromyalgia.
  • Six Healthy Habits to Develop for Fibromyalgia Syndrome.  These habits are explored individually, and you will find your own way to develop each habit.
  • Your Story.  At the end you are encouraged to continue to write your own story.  This is your journey, your story, your illness, who better to write your story?
  • Resources.  Be sure to check out Kim and Karen’s Recommended Resources, this is invaluable information.  Along with other resources you will find Fighting Fibromyalgia with Kim, Karen, and Andrea is a wonderful online support group.

Let me sum up by saying, I love this book!  I love the how it’s interactive.  I already journal, but my journals are simply thoughts of the day and such.  This journal gives me prompts to think about.  It gives me guidance.  It challenges me to think about things I might otherwise have overlooked.  This journal helps me find my way as I navigate through this illness.  I now have my own story.

The Shadow Boxers: Fighting Fibromyalgia, Your Personal Journal is available on Amazon as a Kindle Book or a physical book.  If you get the Kindle version you will need to get a journal to use in conjunction with it.

Or, you just might win it!!

Enter for your chance to win your own copy of The Shadow Boxers: Fighting Fibromyalgia, Your Personal Journey.

Kim has so graciously offered to give a copy of The Shadow Boxers: Fighting Fibromyalgia, Your Personal Journal to one of my lucky readers.   Please only one entry per person.  I’m sorry, but this giveaway is available to US readers only.

To enter to win a copy of The Shadow Boxers... simply leave a comment telling why you’d like to win.  Contest closes at midnight EST on September 20th.  The winner will be notified by email. (make sure the email you comment with is the email to you would like to be notified)  The winner will be announced on Friday, September 22nd.

Good Luck!!

 

**note.  I purchased my own copy of The Shadow Boxers: Fighting Fibromyalgia, Your Personal Story.  All opinions in this review are my own and I have not been influenced by anyone else.

I can’t be still…….

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness22 Comments

thedancerswithcopywrite

Today is the first day I’ve had any relief from the restlessness caused by my medications.  In my post about my side effects I mentioned that my antidepressant caused me to have restlessness and my doctor put me on something else to counteract the side effects.  I thought it was going to work at first, but it didn’t.  She changed the medication to a new one that should have helped with the side effects, instead it made it worse.  And my hair started falling out!  (not in clumps but my brush has to be cleaned at least twice a day)

The restlessness has been severe.  On Thursday I was at my therapist office pacing, and sobbing as I couldn’t be still and my muscles have been so fatigued they just can’t keep going.  I’m amazed I haven’t lost a ton of weight. (I have lost some, just not a lot compared to how much I’ve been moving)  I’ve been moving constantly.  and I do mean c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y!  I don’t feel like I can portray just how horrible this is.  I feel like my muscles in my back are tightening up all by themselves.  My back HURTS.  I just need to move.  It is very hard for me to sit here and type this post because I really NEED to be up and moving.  And yes, this is a better day.

My therapist talked with my psychiatrist while I was in the office.  She was concerned I might be going manic.  I’m not.  I do feel a little like it, the motion, the antsy feeling….but it’s different than this.  This is different.  It is in no way good.  When mania first starts with me, it feels good.  (unfortunately, that’s why people shy away from treatment so often, it can feel good, but things change)  I think my psychiatrist finally understood just how bad it was.  I don’t think the messages she was receiving portrayed the situation correctly.  Poor Stuart was calling her office a LOT.

After she talked with my therapist she changed up my medications.  Possibly because I said I wanted to be off anything that MAY cause restlessness.  Just start over.   Yes, I’m risking my sanity by switching antidepressants, but I’m doing well and I’m very aware of what I’m doing so if I start getting depressed I’ll know what is causing it.  That is the first step in dealing with it for me.  I know it will stop.

I wrote the previous part of this post yesterday (Saturday), today I’m not doing well at all.  I don’t know why I felt somewhat better yesterday, today is hard.  I wish I knew exactly what I have.  The name it is called.  She mentioned kinesia, but that encompasses so much.   From what I’ve read it sounds like I have Akathisia (A feeling of muscle quivering, restlessness and inability to sit still, sometimes a side effect of antipsychotic or  antidepressant medication – Mayo Clinic)   I’ve  been reading that some of this can become permanent.  “Please do not let this last forever.  Please don’t let it last much longer.”  I really feel like I just can’t deal with it much longer.  This is the stuff a nervous breakdown is made of.  My mental health drugs have caused extreme physical changes, this hasn’t been helping my mental state of mind, but I’m not manic or majorly depressed at this moment.  yes, I’m a little depressed, but who wouldn’t be under these circumstances?

Unfortunately, today is a bad motion day.  I do have moments where I feel somewhat normal, but that is normally when I’m really concentrating on something else.   I just want to get up and move.  But moving really doesn’t help the feeling get better.  I just NEED to do it.  I’ve never had a feeling like this and it is very hard to explain, I hope I’ve made it understandable.

I’m confident that things will get better, but I must admit I have the fear in the back of my mind that it won’t get better.  Then I try to bring myself back to the present and deal with it one moment at a time.   I CAN DO THIS!

 

*all artwork on Picnic with Ants created by Wendy Holcombe unless otherwise noted.  Please do not use this image without permission.

Better. Functional Medicine and a Visit from a Friend.

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness19 Comments

On April the 18th I saw a Functional Medicine practitioner.  It was interesting.

She asked me a lot of questions, a thorough medical history, a short exam….it was a long visit.  But tell me, why do providers send you the information to fill out before you get there if they aren’t going to look at it until you are sitting in the office.  I feel like that’s a waste of time.  Me just sitting there while they read the information they’ve had for days.  Of course, I don’t feel they should do a lot of work when I’m not there, they don’t get paid extra, but being prepared would be nicet.

We talked quite a while.  She thinks I have an autoimmune disease, just like other doctors do, they think they just don’t have a test for it.  I don’t really see what difference it makes to know if I have an autoimmune disease or not.  There isn’t a one stop treatment for those diseases.  Mostly I see doctors giving those with autoimmune steroids.  Something I can’t take.

She wants me to get some blood tests done.  One for allergies, one for genetics, and one for….oh golly, I don’t remember what the other one was for.  My insurance doesn’t pay for any of this.  It’s expensive.  I haven’t gotten them done yet.  I was waiting on my insurance to see if they pay for anything, and now I’m waiting on my ride.  It’s a little difficult when you depend on someone else to drive you places, and that person works full time.  Stuart doesn’t mind taking me, but his time is limited.  We’ll get there.

magtein
source here

We talked about my migraines, she is hoping to find a trigger with the tests.  She suggested Magnesium Threonate (see the image above, I got mine from Amazon), and turmeric for the pain.  I started them within a couple of days and boy has it made a difference.  I’ve had days without migraines.  That’s HUGE!  I have that base line headache all the time, it’s been there most of my life, but the migraine on top of that has left me for a few days at a time.  I’m shocked at how much this has helped me.  Shocked!  Why hadn’t my migraine specialists suggested this in the past.  It really bothers me that I may have been helped years ago, if only someone would have suggested the right form of magnesium.  Heck, I never had a doctor suggest magnesium at all.  I started taking it because I read about it.  But I didn’t know there were different kinds and I couldn’t tolerate the kind I was taking.  I’m just so grateful for the relief.

I’ll go back to the functional medicine practitioner after I get the blood tests done.

me and kym

This week a very good friend of mine came for a visit.  It was so nice to see her.  She lives on the opposite side of the country from me, our visits are rare, and precious.  It was so nice to have a real friend come and spend time with us.

Kym and I went shopping.  I went out without Stuart for the first time in over 5 years.  It was liberating, but it was also a little scary.  However, Kym is one of the most level headed people I know and I knew she would not freak out if something happened.  She did something so right.  At one point I felt I needed to go home and I said so, she just said, “Okay, let’s go.”  She didn’t freak out and ask me countless times if I was okay.  She trusted me to tell her if things were getting  bad.  I admit though that I may have pushed it further but I was a little scared and tired.  It was a very good shopping trip.  No I didn’t go crazy with the spending, but I did find a couple of cute things that fit.  (I’ve lost a lot of weight recently, so I need clothes that actually fit me now.  Kym is a good person to shop with.

Vertigo has been kind to me recently.  I’ve had very little spinning, and when I do it is just a slight spin, nothing to worry about.  I did fall last week, and hurt my back a little, but really it’s nothing to be concerned about.  If things go as well as they have been I won’t have anything to write about.  LOL

Are you a Mary or a Debbie?

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness7 Comments

Today I’m happy to introduce a new friend, Kim, from her blog, I Tripped Over a Stone.  She is an amazing writer; I am so pleased she decided to write a little post for us.  Please jump over to her blog and check her out, you’ll be so glad you did.  

Hello my name is Kim. Wendy asked me to scoot over here from my blog and do a guest post for her. I happily accepted. You see, I consider Wendy a friend. We are similar in many ways, besides having invisible illnesses, we have the same kind of humor. I have no doubt we will one day meet in person.

I have Fibromyalgia Syndrome, Wendy has Meniere’s Disease. These are classified as invisible illnesses and both are chronic conditions. Neither is really a great one to have. Would you want want vertigo, inner issues and migraines or would you pick constant pain, difficulty sleeping and cognitive difficulties? Choose. Yes, choose right now! Fibromyalgia Syndrome or Meniere’s Disease?

Now that you have picked your illness, how would you handle this new, life altering, invisible illness? Would YOUR life be over? The answer is yes. Your life, as you know it, will be over. You will have to say goodbye to the old you and hello to this new person who feels like crap most of the time and is a shell of who you worked so hard to become. You will probably lose your job, most of your friends, and some of your family members. Since your illness is invisible, you will be deemed unreliable even though its your health that’s unreliable, not you. You will be scoffed at for being on any form of assistance and called a liar because you do not look sick. Welcome to your new life.
Now you get to choose again! Are you going to be a Debbie Downer or a  Little Miss Mary Sunshine? People usually pick one or the other. Debbie and her self-defeating behavior; why try when nothing will change, there is nothing left for me in this life, I am of no use. Now Little Miss Mary Sunshine knows everything and it is making a brand new life, finding the right doctors, support groups, and will forge ahead! These are the personas we sometimes show others. In reality, we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. We just want the pain, the vertigo, the migraine…to end. A cure would be great! Until then, we take our medication. Sometimes we will go to extremes and have surgical procedures, with no guarantee of a positive outcome. And we read everything; news of every new pill, treatment, therapy, hoping we will stumble upon our way out of this illness. So who is the persona you show to the outside world, Debbie or Mary?

kim-post-1

Ok, you can be yourself again. I am am not very found of Debbie or Mary but in a pinch I will become one or the other. I’m never quite certain who I will pick, it depends on the circumstance. It was not fair of me to expect you  to choose either. But life is not always fair!

In closing, Wendy and I will continue on our individual health journeys with a little help from each other and you! Being able to tell our stories and allow people to see us is quite terrifying at times. But somehow our paths have led us to this place and we are so very glad it did. We have been given a gift! A place to share our lives and the ability to meet such wonderful and endearing readers of our posts.

I thank you, Wendy. I enjoyed being your guest today.

kim-post-2~Kim

Visit me at I Tripped Over a Stone.  itrippedoverastone.com

Mindfulness Monday – Change

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness, Mindfulness6 Comments

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photo by S. Holcombe, rights reserved.

“If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.”

~Wayne Dyer

 

“The only way to make sense out of change
is to plunge into it,
more with it,
and join the dance.”

~Alan Watts