A Weekend Getaway

Tuesday was my husband’s 50th birthday, and as I write this he is sitting on the floor putting together a Lego helicopter, he is so cool.

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Kiki thought she would help.

Early last week I realized that this was his 50th birthday!  Oh my goodness!  I hadn’t planned anything really.  Yes, I got him the Legos, and I planned to make him dinner, but that wasn’t enough for this milestone.  I was determined to do something special.  I was on a mission.

This mission was impeded by the fact that I can’t talk on the phone or drive.  Hmm, so what could I do?   What did I do?

First I decided I wanted to take him away, not far, just away from our house.  I wanted to spoil him, so I started looking for a hotel that also provided massages.  First I did a lot of looking on line and I even did a live chat with one representative, but the chat suddenly stopped, the hotel had to be called.  What to do?  At this point I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to follow through on my desire to spoil my husband.  Ah, but I have a friend who I chat with via Messenger almost every day, I asked if by chance she had the time to call the hotel for me, and she did!  She called and stayed on Messenger with me so she could ask me questions.  It worked out great!  It was obvious from the start that the staff at this hotel were incredible, not only was the girl at the front desk helpful, she actually went out of her way and went to the restaurant kitchen to see if they could accommodate my food requirements.  She was not asked to do this, my friend only asked if there was a gluten free menu available, she took it upon herself to try to make sure we would enjoy our stay.  She helped us book a Spa Indulgence weekend.  The girl at the spa was also amazing.  She helped us set up massages for both me and Stuart at the same time.  I wanted a special type of massage, Lomi Lomi, and she made sure I could get it.  (there is only one massage therapist who does this type of massage)  Again, my friend was amazed by how helpful these women were.  It was a very good experience.

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from inside our hotel

I also wanted to take us a little picnic, that way if we had the munchies during the night,  we didn’t have to go forage for food (or spend outrageous amounts on room-service).  Really, I just thought it would be romantic.  Again, an obstacle was in the way, I can’t drive.  How would I get the food for the picnic without Stuart’s help?  I didn’t feel comfortable asking my neighbor to take me to the grocery store, so I decided to look into having some groceries delivered.  I had a little difficulty because the first place I tried to order from had to call to get payment information.  I couldn’t give them my credit card information over the phone, since I can’t talk on the phone.  Bummer.  Of course, I didn’t find this out until AFTER I had done all my shopping.  pfft.  So I found another store that offered delivery and was able to place my order and have it delivered while Stuart was at work.  I did have to tell him we were going away for the weekend, but the picnic was a surprise.

I also got our pet sitter set up.  That was another issue I had to sort out.  Our normal pet sitter was going out of town, but she offered to take Kiki with her.  I know that my dog hates to ride in the car, she gets car sick…poor puppy.  So I called Kiki’s trainer (he helped her feel better about people coming in our house, it still bothers her, but she is much better about it)  He said he could take her for the weekend and I thought that would be the answer, until I found out how far it is to his place.  Kiki’s normal sitter’s trip would mean an hour or so in the car, if she stayed at her trainer’s it would have been a 45 min ride.  Hmmm.  Kiki went on a little trip with her normal sitter.  It all worked out, but it was an ordeal.  And I handled it all through texts, without help from Stuart.

Getting ready for this getaway took a lot out of me, but I’m proud that I was able to do all of these things without Stuart’s help.  He does so much for me, doing this for him meant the world to me.  He was pretty happy with it too.  I’m not even sure if he was happier about the trip, or the fact that I spread my wings and found ways to be a little more independent.

While planning this trip I was so worried that we’d get there and I’d start to feel bad and would ruin everything.  Of course, Stuart wouldn’t have thought it was ruined, but I would have.  It would have broken my heart.  As it turned out, I didn’t sleep well on Friday night and Saturday was a bit of a challenge for me.  I was very dizzy all day and simply felt, bad.  Truthfully, I wanted to stay in bed and sleep all day, instead I got up, had a good breakfast with my husband, and went to the fitness center and did all of my PT exercises.  I was hoping exercising would make me feel better, it didn’t.  We had talked about doing something on Saturday, either before or after our massages, which were scheduled for 2pm, that didn’t happen.  We just vegged and spent time together.  Then we had our Spa Experience.  oh my goodness….

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all ready for my massage

When we arrived at the spa we were taken to the dressing rooms and were given plush robes and slippers to wear.  We were given fruit scented water to drink as we waited.  It was so relaxing, I’m relaxing right now just thinking about it.  We were then taken to a darkened room and were given most delectable massages.  It was a dream.  Afterward, we were again given water in wine glasses and settled in to rest a bit before leaving.  There were also snacks and tea available if we desired.  There were these fabulous lotions there and I actually found one that I like.  Most things have way too much of a scent for me, almost everything I have is either unscented or has a lemon scent, this lotion smells like Fresh Melon.  Stuart loves it, and it doesn’t make me wheeze or give me a migraine…score!

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On both nights we had dinner at the restaurant in the hotel.  The first night we had steaks, they were delicious.  I felt that the vegetables had too much oil on them, but they were still tasty.  The second night we both had fish, it wasn’t as good as the steaks, and again I felt like the vegetables had too much oil.  They were both good meals, they just didn’t seem to be on the same caliber as the rest of the hotel.  Except for desert, I had chocolate crème brûlée, it was divine.  I saved some and had it on both nights.  Stuart had a salted caramel cheese cake, it was go good.  A bit too sweet for me, but very good.  Really the crème brûlée was a bit too sweet for me too, but it was oh so good.

There’s more to tell about this trip….but I might keep that to myself.  😉

This week I’ve paid the price for my excursion, but it was worth the pain and the dizzies.  Stuart is worth it.  It was nice to take care of my caregiver.

Sometimes, it’s just worth it.

 

Have you accomplished something that you didn’t think you could?

Do you sometimes think “it’s worth it”, when you know you are doing something that may deplete all your reserves and have you flaring for days?

 

 

Mindfulness Monday – Relax

tumacacori column

“Relaxation means releasing
all concern and tension and
letting the natural order of life
flow through one’s being.”

~ Donald Curtis

 

“Meditation is all about the
pursuit of nothingness.
It’s like the ultimate rest.
It’s better than
the best sleep you’ve ever had.
It’s a quieting of the mind.”

~ Hugh Jackman

 

“And sometimes
the most important thing
in a day is
the rest we take
between
two
breaths.”

~ Etty Hillesum

 

*photo by S. Holcombe, please do not use without permission.  (Tumacácori National Park)

Mindfulness Monday – Dizzy

dizzy winter

“Looking up gives light,
although at first it makes you dizzy.”

~ Rumi

 

“I am trying so hard to live in the moment and
enjoy it while it’s happening,
because it feels like a moving freight train that I just got on,
and I’m trying not to look back and get dizzy!

~ Laura Bell Bundy

 

“To be alive is to be dizzy
and not to know exactly where to go.”

~ Ander Monson

 

*image by W. Holcombe, please do not use without permission.

 

 

yeah, I didn’t get that done…

You may recall my post back in December where I talked about my fear of gaining weight.  I felt like I was handling that better, and things were going well.  I was trying to focus on nutrition and not on weight.  I have been trying to eat more mindfully, more intentionally (appreciating the food, accepting it’s nourishment, paying attention to my hunger cues….)

I say try on all of these because I haven’t been doing a very good job recently.

I promised I’d write a post about mindful eating last week, and well….. yeah, I didn’t get that done.  I started getting very obsessed with food this week.

The fight with food is strong in this one (ha, I sound like Obi Wan..or Yoda).

I was doing well when the scale was staying the same, and even went down a little.  Yes I still want to lose that last 10 pounds.  I think I’m more anxious about my weight because  I still have not gotten to the weight I want to be at, if I can get there I think I can keep it off, but why will these last few pounds not go away?  yeah, I know there’s more to it than that, but it’s very hard to voice what I’m feeling.

I know it’s not healthy to be so obsessed with my weight, but I also feel like if I’m not very diligent I will end up back where I was.  I really don’t want that.  I feel better about myself now (no, really I do!!).  I’m more confident when I meet people.  I have more stamina…..  I know how bad I feel when I’m bigger, both physically and mentally, and this is better.  Even though I’m obsessing about weight gain, it’s better than beating myself up over being fat all the time.  Hiding my body, not wanting to wear clothes that show skin, not wanting to be intimate, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, cringing when I’d catch sight of myself in a store window…these are not healthy things.  My fear of gaining weight is part of that.  I don’t want to feel so out of control any more.

I am seeing a therapist about this.  After a friend shared that she had been seeing a therapist through an online counseling site, and she had a very positive experience.  With all the barriers I have trying to go to see a therapist face to face, I decided to give it a try.  I’m so glad I did.

I’ve been “seeing” my new therapist for a couple of weeks now, and by golly this woman has earned her money!  I was not in a good frame of mind this past week.  Food issues, anger, racing thoughts, insomnia…..mania.  Yep, I had a manic swing.  It wasn’t as strong as it has been, and I’m pretty proud of how I handled things, but it I was not my normal self.  I’m sure my new therapist didn’t think I was handling things very well when I bombarded her with emails for 2 days, but I just had a live chat session with her and it’s all good.   (by bombarding her, I mean that I wrote her 5 emails within about 3 hours, all of which were looooong.  If she weren’t my therapist I’d be embarrassed.  Okay, I’m still embarrassed)

I’m going to close for now.  I just wanted you all to know that, I’m not dead, I will eventually write a post about eating mindfully, and I am seeing someone about these issues of mine.

 

Have you ever thought about online counseling?

Would you try it, or not?  why?

I’ll share more of my experience soon…..no, really, I promise I will.

 

Mindfulness Monday – Snow

snow jan 2018

“Kindness is like snow –
It beautifies everything it covers”

~ Kahlil Gibran

 

“Sunshine is delicious,
Rain is refreshing,
Wind braces us up,
Snow is exhilarating;
there is really no such thing as bad weather,
only different kinds of good weather.”

~ John Ruskin

 

“Inner peace is a quiet
evening moonlight walk in
the soft falling snow of our minds”

~ Wes Adamson

 

 

*photo by W. Holcombe, please do not use without permission.

Mindfulness Monday – Eating

fruits and veggies

“Food reveals our connection with the earth.
Each bite contains the life of the sun and the earth…..
We can see and taste the whole universe in a piece of bread!
Contemplating our food for a few seconds before eating,
and eating in mindfulness,
can bring us to much happiness.”

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

 

“Mindful eating is about awareness.
When you eat mindfully,
you slow down,
pay attention to the food you’re eating,
and savor every bite.”

~ Susan Albers

 

“Mindful eating is a way
to become reacquainted
with the guidance of
our internal nutritionist.”

~ Jan Chozen Bays

 

** be sure to check out my upcoming post on Mindful Eating.  I’m working on it and hope it will be out in a couple of days.

 

*photo taken by W. Holcombe, please do not copy without permission.

 

A day of trials

 

caring hands

Yesterday was filled with the trials associated with migraines and slow vertigo.

I barely got out of my chair today, and that’s okay.  I spent the day focusing on self care, taking it slow, and not beating myself up because I couldn’t go to PT, or do any of my exercises.  Luckily, hubby worked from home today, so he was here to help me any time I needed to navigate the world around me, like…umm….going to the bathroom.  My walker is great, but it doesn’t make me feel as safe as he does.  (if I really start to fall, the walker just comes with me, hubby holds on tight….I wish everyone had someone like my Stuart in their lives)
How do you handle a day of trials?

 

*image by W. Holcombe, please do not use without permission.

Mindfulness Monday – Resolutions

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“I will breathe.
I think of solutions.
I will not let my worry control me.
I will not let my stress level breatk me.
I will simply breathe and it will
be okay because I don’t quit.”

~ Shayne McClendon

 

 

“Just slow down
Slow down your speech
Slow down your breathing.
Slow down your walking.
Slow down your eating.
And let that slower, steadier
pace perfume your mind.
Just slow down…”

~ Doko

 

*image by W. Holcombe, please do not copy without permission.  all rights reserved.

I did this!! A reflective look at 2017

2017 collage

January is the time that people make resolutions to do things differently (better) than the year before.  My theme for this past year was “Just Stop”  (just click here and you can read that post), I will continue to “Just Stop” in 2018 and beyond, but for now I want to look back.

This year, I’ve decided not to make resolutions, sure there are things I want to change, things I plan on doing, things I want to do….The whole Bucket List, you know, however, there is something we often don’t do, we don’t look back and see what we have accomplished.  I think we need to do that more often.

When we get sick we often look back on our “old life” and can’t see how much we’ve accomplished since we got sick.  We keep thinking about how we can’t do what we used to, I see so many people with chronic illnesses doing amazing things every day, but they can’t see it.  They keep looking back at what they used to be….never forget, you are still the same person.  The old self and the new self is the same self.  Let’s put those together and be okay with it.  (yes I know that isn’t easy, even when you feel you have gotten to that point, there will still be times when you think about the “old me” longingly)

So I decided to sit back and look at 2017, and just think about what I accomplished, and I was pretty amazed at what I found.

  • I worked hard and lost 45 pounds.  Cool.
  • I started exercising.  Just little things, but it’s a whole lot more than it used to be and I’m getting stronger so I can do more.
  • I overcame some pretty severe side effects to a medication.
  • I worked with my doctor and found the right medication, I didn’t give up.
  • I survived breaking my foot while alone.  I simply iced it, propped it up and waited until Stuart got home to take me to Urgent Care.  I didn’t panic.  yay.
  • I reached out to the local Hearing Loss Association of America (HLAA) chapter and I’m meeting new people through it.
  • I participated in the HLAA Walk4Hearing.   How cool is that?  okay, so I wasn’t able to actually “walk” that day, but I raised money and I went out there and showed support.  and I got a t-shirt to prove it!
  • We had visits from 4 groups of out of town guests this year, and I handled it all well.  (that doesn’t mean it wasn’t challenging, but my guests know my limitations and love me anyway, so it was easier)  I haven’t had guest come to my house in a very long time!
  • We went out of town to see the eclipse!  That was so cool; a little mini vacation centered around a most amazing event.  (and I made a new friend there too)
  • I went to an out of town wedding for the daughter of my best friend from the first grade.  I felt beautiful (that isn’t something I’ve been able to say in a long time).  I had a wonderful time, and I saw people I haven’t seen in 40+ years, that’s amazing.  (and now I’m in touch with another grade school friend who is just the sweetest lady, I just love her.)
  • I’ve had less vertigo this year.  Actually, I do have vertigo often, but it doesn’t last long and I’m not completely incapacitated for hours and hours….um..days.  I don’t know how much control I actually had over this, but it’s a huge deal for me.  (I’m actually thinking something I’ve been doing may have helped, but I’m not sure)
  • I made some new online friends, and have gotten closer to some old ones.
  • I went to a Christmas party where I knew no one.  (the HLAA Christmas party)  I arrived right when the party was ending (yes I read the invitation wrong, I thought it started at 7pm but that was the end time!  hahaha)  I still met some awfully nice people. (I knew these people would understand if I couldn’t hear them.  I exchanged many emails with the chapter leader beforehand and she made me feel most welcome and understood my fears)
  • I went to a family Christmas party at my cousin’s house.  I haven’t been to a family holiday gathering in something like 20 years.  I was very nervous, but it went well.  I met some wonderful people who were so supportive of my hearing loss, they even practiced sign language with me, I didn’t feel left out, it was nice; and I look forward to nurturing that friendship.
  • After going to those two parties (and the wedding in October and the Eclipse in August), I realized I can do this!!  I can socialize again.  No, I might not hear everything, I might have to ask people to repeat themselves, to look at me when they talk, and I might have vertigo…..but it really feels good to know I can do this!!  That knowledge is a huge accomplishment.
  • I searched out and found supplements to help with my conditions.  Not a lot, but some that have made a little bit of a difference.  I feel more empowered the more I learn about my conditions and the more I am able to help myself.
  • I have been home alone often and I didn’t die.  Okay that may be a bit melodramatic, but Stuart used to have to work at home almost every day, now he goes into the office.  Some days I do need him to come home to help me, but I do not need him to be physically with me all the time.  awesome.
  • I baked during the holidays!!!!  I haven’t been able to do that in YEARS!  and I love doing it, so this was amazing for me!!
  • I enjoyed the holidays.  I know that’s not much of an accomplishment, but the holidays can be hard, and have been at times very hard.  This year I sang carols for over a month!  I shouted “Merry Christmas”  to a Santa that was waving outside of a store and it was joyous when Stuart told me that “Merry Christmas”  was shouted back.  (I felt like I was in a Christmas movie)
  • Most recently I’ve begun to “paint” using the AutoDesk Sketchbook app, and I’m creating some pretty nice pet portraits.  I’m pretty happy about that.
  • I started Loom Knitting this year!  I’ve made a number of blankets, scarves, and the coolest pair of socks ever!
  • one more – I only had 2 or 3 (I think) seizures this year.  (if you don’t know about me and seizures you can read about it here: Psychogenic Seizures…)  How cool is that?  Yep, therapy works when you work hard.

Now, I challenge you to sit back, take a relaxing breath, and think back over the year and only think about things you have accomplished (or some wonderful things that happened).  There were a lot of things that went wrong this year (like the awful medication side effects, and watching our country fall apart….)  but it really doesn’t do me any good to think about that stuff.  Look at all the things I did!!  That is worth a reflective look at 2017.

(about the photo above: From left to right starting with the top left:
Me and Kim, me and Lisa, Walk4Hearing t-shirt
Baked Christmas Goodies, silly Christmas light necklace, me in Santa hat
Stuart modeling the cool socks I made, a portrait of Max, Me at the wedding)

I’m on Instagram now!  (Not as Picnic with Ants, just as me)  If you’d like to check it out, I’m wendy.holcombe

Mindfulness Monday – New Year

Happy New Year copy2

 

“She made a revolutionary idea:
She would make more time for
life’s truly important things

First on the list:
breathing.”

~ Amy Rubin Flett

 

“You are never too old to
set another goal
or to dream a new
Dream.”

~ Aristotle

 

*artwork by W. Holcombe, Please do not use without permission.