I’m so tired. I’ve experienced fatigue before, but nothing like this. I can’t stay awake, except at night, when I can’t sleep. I’m restless, yet I can’t get it together. I started exercising more this past month, but this past week I haven’t been able to do more than what is absolutely necessary. A little while ago I put some dishes in the dishwasher and now I’m ready to take a nap. I am having a very hard time keeping my eyes open. Lifting my limbs is a challenge. This in conjunction with extreme brain fog, yes writing this post is a challenge, it’s also why I haven’t been able to follow through on promises made. I really hate that.
What changed? I honestly don’t know of anything that has changed so much in the past week that would cause this. I don’t think I’m sick. I’m not running fever or anything like that. My headaches haven’t been worse, they aren’t better, but they aren’t worse. I haven’t increased my medication. I am taking CBD oil during the day, but I’ve been doing that for over a month now, so that’s not new. I’ve actually been taking less this week because I keep forgetting. As it has been pointed out to me countless times by numerous people, I have been under a huge amount of stress, but honestly, the stress hasn’t really intensified recently, it’s been pretty steady for months now. I’m dealing with it pretty darn well, if I do say so myself. The only thing that has my mind racing is our house hunting, it’s taking longer than we expected, and it’s just getting to me a bit. I’ve decided to step back from the search for a few days at least, a bit of breathing room, get refocused and start again next week.
I’ve been using marijuana to help me sleep for a long time. (full disclosure, I was using it long before we moved to a legal state) for some reason it’s not working like it used to. I can’t sleep, yet I can’t stay awake, what’s up with that? When I try to go to sleep at night I just toss and turn, often I just give up for a while and get up. It’s hard not to snack in the middle of the night when you’re up all night. OK, I’m exagerating a little, I am sleeping …some…
Okay, my brain is not working. I’m about to fall asleep…probably not really, but I feel like it. It is storming like crazy right now. Monsoon season is almost over, as much as I’m tired of the storms every day, I’m going to really miss them when we go for months with no rain. Plus, they are really cool.
Some reasons I might not be sleeping…hmmm….pain. My wrist is getting better, I’m not having those horrible sharp pains and I have much more range of motion. I can pick up dishes without extreme pain! That’s awesome! But, now it hurts all the time. The pain is not as intense, but it’s always there. I bought some CBD salve yesterday and I’m rubbing it all round my wrist and hand, not the actual surgical site yet, I get my stitches out on Friday. after that I’ll rub it all over. Cross fingers it helps ease the pain a bit. I feel silly complaining, it’s not that bad, it’s just constant. (sometimes I do still have some sharp pains, I was just reminded of that a few moments ago when I tried to help with dinner)
Thank you all for listening to me rant. I do accept that this is the way it is right now, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to figure out what is going on and take care of myself the best I can.