My dear Sandy…I will miss you so.

Dear Sandy,

From the moment I saw you as a gangly little dog who had been abandoned in a dumpster you stole my heart.

It has been over 19 years since that day, and I’ve loved you every moment.  You have listened to me in good times and bad.  You gave me a reason to live when I thought there was no other.  I knew you depended on me, and many times I depended on you.

You have always been much more than a dog in this family.  From the moment Stuart first walked in the door, you gave your approval.  You met him at the door, this stranger, as if you’d known him all your life.  It was love at first sight, and he instantly loved you.  I knew from the way he greeted you with such affection, this man might just be a keeper.

When were got engaged, you were part of the celebration.  We had pictures taken, of course you were a part of them.  You would have been in our wedding if it hadn’t been so far away.  However, you were not forgotten.  My maid of honor gave a most touching speech mentioning how she was so lucky to be present when I met my first true love – you.  Yes, you came before Stuart in our wedding toast.  My dear, dear Sandy you are so very loved, and always will be.

Over the years we’ve been through a lot together, you have persevered through so much.  But this last attack on you was more than your little body could stand.  Since Friday you have had such a hard time.  The seizure was hard on you.  You seemed to be better when we brought you home.  The next day you were tired, but seemed to be coming around, back to yourself.  We started you on the seizure medication, and you got worse, and worse.  For the last 2 days it has been very hard on all of us.  It seemed you didn’t know us, or know where you were.  You had to pace, fast, you kept running into things….it was a pitiful sight.  We tried to calm you, but it made you more anxious.  After 3 trips to the ER Vet yesterday we decided to stop the seizure medication, hoping you were just having side effects.  You had a peaceful night at the vet’s office, and this morning they thought you looked much better, until you got home.   The pacing started again.  You had no idea who we were.  We took you to our vet, hoping for some help.  We didn’t know how long it would take for the medication to get out of your system.  We were heart-broken to find out it was already.  We knew then that it was time.  Your quality of life was not as it should be.  You couldn’t go on as you were.

They don’t know if the seizure caused your temperature to go too high, or if the cancer had metastasized in your brain possibly causing the seizures in the first place.  All we know is your brain wasn’t working properly.  You were not happy.  You were miserable.

I hope it helped that we were with you, holding you as you drifted off.  I hope you could understand just one last moment how much we love you.  How much we hated to see you go, how much we will miss you.  Both of our hearts are breaking.  But we thank you for bringing us together.  If you hadn’t approved, Stuart and I wouldn’t have lasted.  But you accepted him in our little family.  He was one of us.  Thank you for making sure I wasn’t alone.

You have been my friend, my first true love, and my constant companion for 19 years.  You have been a special part of Stuart’s life for over 11 years.  I hope you will always know how much you are loved, not just by your family, but by everyone you met.  You are a special dog, who will be missed very, very much.

Goodbye my dear sweet puppy dog, there will always be a place in my heart that will belong to you.

April 18, 2012  11am

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15 thoughts on “My dear Sandy…I will miss you so.

  1. Oh Wendy, So many of us know your pain, and I am so sorry. I think when we are sick, we need our animals more than other people. I know Sandy stood by you through your worst times and you depended on him for more than just companionship. Please take care of yourself my Friend.


  2. I’m so so sorry to hear that Sandy has passed away. Mo is right, so many of us know the pain of having to let our Special Dog-Friend go, though not many of us are lucky enough to have that Friend for 19 years; what a blessing! I’m so sorry that yours and Stuarts hearts are aching right now, but I am also so thankful for your years with such a sweet, sweet Friend.


  3. deb

    Oh Wendy, My heart weeps for you. I am so sorry for your loss. My best friend, Amy our beloved boxer, passed away 2 years ago when I was very very sick with Menieres. Our pets leave such a hole in our heart when they leave us. I still miss her although I am so glad she didn’t have to suffer anymore. I am confident we will see our pets again….when the lions and lambs lie down together! Praying for peace and comfort for you and Stuart through these tough times.


  4. auryn29a

    Oh. I am so, so sorry, my dear. I clicked over here to see how you were doing and it feels like I was hit in the chest. As you say, it was time. You have had many years with a very sweet dog. I am glad I had the pleasure of meeting her and spending time with her. She is loved.


  5. Dear Wendy and Stuart,

    Please accept my heartfelt condolences. I am so sorry to hear of Sandy’s passing. I know you have many happy memories to comfort you as you grieve and I hope those help to fill the hole in your hearts.

    Love, Angelea


  6. bipolarmuse

    Ohhhhh… my heart just breaks for you. I am happy Sandy is no longer suffering but I know your pain is great. Hugs to you Wendy. ♥


  7. Oh, Wendy. Nobody can truly understand what you are going through right now, because each relationship and each loss is different, but you know that I have great empathy for you. Each breath you take must be so painful and lonely right now, and it probably will be for some time. I know you’ll never stop missing her. Be kind to yourself as you grieve. Such a loss…and such a void she will leave. Holding you close.


  8. I’m so sorry for your loss; you and Stuart had to make a tough choice, but now Sandy is beyond pain and confusion. I’m sure that at the last, Sandy did truly understand how much love there was because you were willing to let her go. She had all those wonderful years with the two of you, and I’m sure she felt the love then, and at the last.
    She will always be with you in spirit and in your heart. You have wonderful memories of her; it’s okay to grieve when you loose a member of your family.
    Take care,


  9. Comforting hugs to you and Stuart. I hope you find comfort in the love that you had for Sandy and that Sandy had for you. I’m sure she felt the love today and am thankful that not only did you have Sandy but that Sandy had you and Stuart.


  10. Fizzy

    ;-( what an amazing best friend to have, and even though it has ended you will never forget her, i am so glad she was at home with you both. Sending Love xx


  11. I should not have read this post at work. I feel so bad for you and Stuart. It’s been two years since you posted on my blog when I had to let my heart dog go. I had hoped for a bit longer before writing on yours. I’m truly sorry.


  12. Pingback: Goodbye Sweet Max | Picnic with Ants

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