Dinner Invitation – #HAWMC 19

Today’s Prompt: 5 Dinner Guests. Who are 5 people you’d love to have dinner with (living or deceased) and why?

image from http://www.123greetings.com

I thought and thought about this prompt and could think of 5 people, but realized after I invited 2 of them it wouldn’t be fair to the other 3 to have them in attendance, unless they just wanted to talk among themselves.

The first person I would invite would be my mother.  She died in 1993.

The second person I would invite would be my husband.

The two most important people in my life, never met.

This is the dinner party I would like to have, I’d like the man I love, to meet my mother.

Of course, now I’m crying and have no idea what else to say in this post…..I’ll try and muddle through…

Let me tell you a little about my mother.  My mother and I were always very close.  When I was a child we played together, as I got older we told secrets, she always knew when I really needed to talk and she’d take me for a day trip to the beach.  I didn’t realize if until years later, but those trips were huge bonding experiences for us.  Never did we leave to come home without me unburdening to her whatever was on my mind.  She was the kind of mother that all the kids wanted to be around.  I often came home to find a friend talking with her.  They hadn’t come to see me, they wanted her advice.

I think back over the past 19 years and for many of them I simply can’t believe she wasn’t here.  I actually remember her at different events.  I can almost hear us planning my wedding.  But alas, she wasn’t there.  My husband’s mother died just months before we were married.  We had an empty seat for both of them beside our fathers.  We walked down the aisle together, when we reached our parents I gave one of my flowers (I carried Calla Lillis) to my Stuart for his mother, and I had one for mine….we put them on the empty chairs, and kissed our fathers and continued up the aisle to become joined as husband and wife.

The next day we came back to the park we were married in to have photos taken, they were catching and tagging humming birds.  Both of our mother’s loved humming birds.  So much so we included the theme in our reception to include our mother’s presence.  While they were tagging the migration they allowed me to hold 2 hummingbirds.  Yes, I actually got to hold them.  You see after they are caught they have to give them sugar-water and they sit in your hand a moment to warm up before they can fly away.  We took this as a sign that our mothers were pleased with our union….a little hello if you would.

Can you blame me for wanting my mother to meet this incredible man who has taken care of me so unselfishly, so lovingly for so long now?  My mother was my hero growing up, my husband is my hero now!

I know they would adore each other.  But to have one dinner together, can you imagine?

All the stories about me growing up?  The silly stories Stuart would share with my mother?

The proud moments a mother likes to share.

To share our wedding photos with her….to tell her all about it….

My mother finally seeing me stable (I had been diagnosed with Bipolar I before she died, but I was not completely stable until after she passed away.)

My mother seeing me happy, finally very happy, in spite of what my body is going through, I am happy most of the time……that is if I could stop crying!

and to have my mother hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright…..oh what I wouldn’t give for that.
I know many of you will say she does see me, and she is always here with me….yes, I know.

But to have my mother and my husband actually meet, and have dinner with me…..that would be the ultimate dream for me.


9 thoughts on “Dinner Invitation – #HAWMC 19

  1. A moving tribute to your mother; the empty chair with the flowers showed how much you cared for your mothers and the important role they played in your lives.
    The hummingbirds the next day, I think, were both of them telling you and Stuart how much they loved you.
    As you planned your wedding, your mother was with you in spirit, just as she will always live and be with you in your heart.
    It’s alright to cry; rememberies can bring smiles and tears at the same time.


  2. PS: it would make for a very special dinner party. When I shared a house with a high school friend and my hubby to be, we would play that game — we came up with some wonderful combinations, but nothing as special as you have planned.


    1. Wendy, What a wonderful dinner party that would be. I don’t know who I would invite to my dinner party…but for sure #1 on the list would be my Mom.


  3. I love it so much when you write about your self and your past. This post was so touching and I know, so true. I wish that could happen Wendy, maybe the other person you could invite would be a videographer to capture that whole experience on film so you could watch it over and over it again. For me, I would love to see my dad again, he was so nurturing and warm, he used to ask me to have lunch, at the time I was an embarassed and self conscious teenager, now, I would so enjoy it. I understand how you feel but I also feel that your mom does know you and Stuart and is looking at both of you sending you her love. I get messages from my dad, have you ever gotten a message from mom? maybe you can or will, or even go to a medium, it’s something to think about. Laurie


    1. I’ve actually always thought Sandy was a message from my mom. I got her about a year after her death, and I will say, I wasn’t doing well dealing with it still. I think she sent me Sandy.

      But I’ve had 2 signs from Sandy since she died. 1 was just an over all feeling telling me, it’s ok, she needed to rest. the other, I was in the bathroom and falling apart, and told Sandy I really needed her help to get through this, and I felt her brush against my legs. I looked down and nothing was there, I thought….it’s just my imagination…then she did it again. I wish I could say it took all the pain away….but hasn’t, and I’m sure I’ll feel pain from this forever, just like I do from my mother’s death. I haven’t hurt this bad since she died. Sandy was so much a part of our family. I lost my best friend…well next to Stuart. Truthfully, no one’s death except for Stuart would have hurt me more.

      So, I think I’d add a 3rd to the table. My dear sweet Sandy. My mother hadn’t met her either, but I feel she did, because I’m sure she sent her to me.


  4. Pingback: Recap – #HAWMC May 1st « Picnic with Ants

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