Tag: tinnitus

I’m scared.

On By WendyIn Meniere's Disease3 Comments
Snow falling in my back yard, December 4th, 2010

Last night I went to small Christmas gathering, I even drove myself!  I was very proud.  Unfortunately, during the party I started getting a pretty bad headache, and then I noticed my hearing dropped.  Dramatically dropped.

I came home and my stomach was killing me, something I ate at this gathering had caused me a lot of distress.  I ate half of a sandwich and was feeling much better.  Well, my stomach felt better….not my head, and the hearing was still way down.

I decided to take one of the pressure pills. (the pills Dr. Gray gave me that would reduce the spinal fluid pressure if it started building up too high.  She said to take one if I had a headache.)  My headache did not get better, I decided to take 1/2 of a pain pill and try to sleep.  I slept for 3 hours and woke up in horrible pain.  My neck, shoulders, and head all hurt.  Plus, my hands felt all tingly.  I took a couple of Tylenol, and tried to massage some areas and stretch and finally I was able to go back to sleep.

This morning when I woke up my hands were still tingling, and soon the headache started.  I’ve been fighting a headache all day.  Stuart and I went out for a while today,  we went to buy him a pair of jeans, then we went to the grocery store.  The grocery store was packed because it was snowing.  People in NC freak out when it calls for snow.  Unfortunately, we really had to get some groceries or I never would have braved that mob.

When we got home my head was about to pound off.  I again started with the pressure pill.  It didn’t help my head at all, and soon my neck and shoulders were cramping again, and my hands were all tingly.  I looked up the side effects of this medication.  It says that these are “Serious Side Effects – seek medical attention immediately”.  Well, I knew that it would wear off soon, so I didn’t seek medical attention immediately, but I won’t be taking any more of those pills.   Stuart is going to call Dr. Gray tomorrow.  (Yes, I know it will be Sunday, but that’s what she gave me her pager and cell phone number for, right?  She can always decide not to call me back until Monday.)

I’m so scared that the blood patch didn’t take, or maybe I was just starting to feel better because it was my time to start feeling better and now I’m starting to feel bad again.  Yesterday, I was so happy.  I had a long conversation with a friend on the phone, and I drove myself to a party…I actually went to a party, by my self, at night!   Today, I can’t talk on the phone, and I’m afraid to push it.  I’m really scared the procedure didn’t work.

Well, if it didn’t, we’ll figure out something.  It may not be the cure that this procedure was hoping for, but it will be something.  My doctors will have learned a lot more about this disease, and I will have had at least a small reprieve.  I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and find a way to have a life despite my illness.

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any". Alice Walker

On By WendyIn Life, Meniere's DiseaseLeave a comment

I saw this quote by Alice Walker, and I thought about how much I believed I had no power over anything in my life when the Meniere’s was bad.

I was so dependent on my husband for EVERYTHING!  From paying all the bills, to helping me get to the bathroom.  I had no choice for anything in my life…but that’s not exactly true is it?  I could have completely given up and just packed it all in.  I could have stopped trying to get out of bed.  I could have stopped caring that I had to be taken care of and just given in, but I fought it every step of the way.  Sometimes, it hurt my husband, but most of the time when I really needed him I let him help, but when I didn’t need help, I let him know in no uncertain terms.  (My biggest regret is that I wasn’t easier on him.)

There were a few times when I thought it would easier just to give up and take a bottle of pills and stop being the burden that I felt like I was.  Those are the times I gave up all my power.  But then I’d realize that just because this disease had control of my body, it didn’t have control of my mind.  So, I worked as hard as I could to find a way to live a better life with Meniere’s.  I never thought that I would have the chance of getting rid of the vertigo, and living a mostly normal life again.

Ups and Downs of the Weekend

On By WendyIn Meniere's Disease2 Comments

Saturday was an ok day for me.  I had a bad attitude, but other than that, I was able to go out to lunch with my husband, and run some errands.  We even ordered our little Organic Turkey Breast from Earth Fare, for Thanksgiving.  I’m pretty proud of myself that I really think I can pull off having a Thanksgiving dinner without getting off the couch.  More about that in my next post.

Me and Sandy

Sunday, was not a good day.  I know it was because I couldn’t sleep Saturday night so I was all out of whack on Sunday, but knowing why, and having it happen, really doesn’t help that much does it?  I didn’t get to sleep until after 4:30am.  Then my dear dog woke me up around 11am.  She really doesn’t bother me much, she usually goes to Stuart for everything when I’m asleep because he will wake up and give her things, I often don’t even hear her.  However, I was sleeping a little too late for her, and she decided she had to check on me.  She cuddled up right at my face, she was so cute, but I really wasn’t awake enough to get up.  But I did anyway.  Straight to the couch.

My hubby made me breakfast, but I was still hungry.  But I was also very dizzy.  He said he was going upstairs to take a shower, so I decided to go upstairs too, just in case something happened he would be able to hear me.  I ended up crawling up the stairs, and hobbling to the bed with much help from Stuart.  I took a Valium and Phenergan.  After about 20mins, I still felt bad, so I used a Phenergan suppository too.

I was so sleepy, but every time I closed my eyes the world would start to spin.  Does anyone else ever have that happen when you are really tired?  I don’t feel well even with my eyes open, but at least the world isn’t going round and round, then as soon as I close my eyes I feel like everything is moving.  It’s hard….I’m so sleepy yet I’m afraid to close my eyes.

I was still hungry though, if I’m hungry my symptoms get worse.  So Stuart brought me half of a sweet potato.  It helped.  He then left to start grilling chicken.  I had left over Wild Rice Blend I’d made in the crock pot the day before, and I made a pot of black beans over night on Saturday night.  We also had broccoli we bought the day before.  It was starting to smell very good downstairs, but thankfully, I dozed off.  And slept for a couple of hours.

So, the great lunch my darling husband was making, became my dinner.  It was very good.  I was feeling much better, but I was still suffering from some pretty serious disequilibrium.

Today, the disequilibrium is still there, but I am hearing better out of my left ear than I have in months.  What’s up with that?  I even did without my amplifier when Stuart and I were having a chat over lunch.  That was nice.

My hearing is still pretty tinny, and it’s not picking up all frequencies just right, but I can understand what my husband is saying.  I love that.