“Breathing in,
there is only the present moment.
Breathing out,
it is a wonderful moment.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Category: Chronic Illness
Mindfulness Monday 19
“When I run after what I think I want,
my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety;
if I sit in my own place of patience,
what I need flows to me and without pain.”
~Rumi
“There is a voice that doesn’t use words.
Listen.”
~Rumi
When A Virus Hits
*this post mentions poop. if you are uncomfortable reading about poop or the smell of poop well, you probably shouldn’t have read this sentence….oops. Really this is as bad as it gets so if you’ve gotten this far, you’ll be okay.
The past few days I’ve been a big poopy pants. No really. I’ve had some kind of bug that had me running to the bathroom constantly. I’ve been trying to loose weight but this was not the way I planned. I’m sure most of you can relate.
What most of you can’t relate to is how this virus affected the rest of me, namely my vestibular system. When something like this hits me my vestibular system seems to think it needs to attack me too. I was suddenly having vertigo while fighting a vicious virus, well poop. Running to the bathroom with the room spinning can be a challenge. (thanks hubby for all the help, sorry about the smell.)
Any kind of stress can cause a person with Meniere’s to have more vertigo. When my stress levels rise there is a strong likelihood I will have vertigo. When my body is under stress there is even a greater likelihood that I will have vertigo. A virus will often have my head spinning. If I don’t have vertigo when I am stressed at the very least my balance will be more compromised than usual…yes even more than usual, it really is possible!
What can I do? When I have a virus there isn’t much I can do about reducing my stress levels, but I can try. I practice deep breathing exercises, not only does this reduce stress, it helps reduce nausea. I sleep as much as possible. When your sick sleep is a good thing. Really there isn’t a lot I can do, so when the vertigo comes I ride it out the way I do every vertigo attack and hope it isn’t going to be a bad one. Luckily, the attacks I had during this virus were not very bad. As long as I stayed calm, practiced mindfulness, and relaxed as much as possible I was able to get through it with as little extra stress to my body as possible. This was very important, as I was really sick.
I’m pretty darn lucky that I have a great hubby to help take care of me when things like this happen. REALLY LUCKY!
Now it’s time to catch up on life. What’s up with you?
Mindfulness Monday 18
As long as you are breathing
there is more right with you
than wrong with you.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
It’s not a matter of letting go-
you would if you could.
Instead of “Let it go.”
we should probably say,
“Let it be.”
~Joh Kabat-Zinn
My Chronic Migraines
I have Chronic Migraines. I’ve been told this before, it was said once again yesterday. I’ve met a number of Neurologist who thought they could make it better. I still have Chronic Migraines.
I’ve been to 2 Neurologists who are Headache Specialist. There aren’t many of these doctors out there, I’m lucky that I have been able to see 2 of them.
The first specialist I was seeing was a Duke, I moved to Charlotte and started seeing a specialist here. I never thought we’d get to the point where we are now.
I’ve tried so many medications. I’ve tried Botox, and well just so many things. There are some medications I can’t try because of reactions I’ve had to other medications. My doctor is at the end of things to try.
I was taken off Topamax when I had the seizures because they thought that it may have caused them, now that we know it wasn’t the medication I can go back on it. My migraines did get worse when I was off of it, but my headaches were a long way from being optimal when I was taking it.
Over the last 3 months I’ve had a migraine ever day except 8. This does not include the headache I constantly have. When I first started seeing the specialist here she thought we could get the daily headaches under control and then the migraines would get better, well neither of those things happened.
Now I’m going back on Topamax to at least get me back to where I was. Having migraines about 15 days a months instead of about 30.
I saw my specialist yesterday and she said she is looking out for studies for me to participate in. There is nothing else she can think of.
I’ve decided to go to a Functional Medicine group to see if they can help me. Unfortunately, they are not covered under my insurance so this can get quite costly. I’m not sure how much I will be able to afford.
(Functional medicine is personalized medicine that deals with primary prevention and underlying causes instead of symptoms for chronic illness and disease.)
This is Invisible Illness Week. I’m not sure I’ll get it together enough to really post much about it, but Migraines are an invisible illness. I look perfectly fine yet I’m struggling every day. I have Persistent Daily Headaches and Migraine headaches. Every day my head hurts.
Remember, just because someone looks perfectly fine doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering silently. We may look great and still be sick.
#ThisIsChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness
Mindfulness Quotes 17 – Hope
Hope is important
because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear.
If we believe that tomorrow will be better,
we can bear a hardship today.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
You practice mindfulness,
on the one hand to be calm and peaceful.
On the other hand,
as you practice mindfulness and live a life of peace,
you inspire hope for a future of peace.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
Mindfulness Monday 16 – Eating
Food reveals our connection with earth.
Each bite contains the life of the sun and the earth…
We can see and taste the whole universe in a piece of bread!
Contemplating our food for a few seconds before eating,
and eating in mindfulness,
can bring us much happiness.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Taken slowly, or mindfully,
even eating an orange or a bowl of soup,
or a small piece of dark chocolate for that matter,
can take on the flavor of prayer.
~ Mary DeTurris Poust
Making friends?
I keep being told by my therapist that I need friends. People I can spend time with, not just friends I text, email, message, blog with….. She wants me to have local friends. We’ve lived in this area for over 2 years and I don’t really know anyone.
My question for all of you is, How do I make friends?
I’m chronically ill, I can’t drive, I don’t go anywhere without my husband, I have a very hard time hearing in public places….
Where do I meet people who are willing to get to know me through all of those obstacles?
I don’t go to church. I did look for a Buddhist temple in the area and there are a couple of places, but they do not practice the type of Buddhism I do. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable there. It’d be like a Fundamentalist trying to go to a Catholic church, they are both Christians, but they are very different. (well it might not be that different)
I don’t work, so I won’t meet people there.
I don’t have kids so I won’t be meeting people through my kids.
I looked for a support group where I’d fit in, I can’t find anything. Before you suggest it, no I’m not going to start one, I would not be able to be reliable enough to do so.
I really think it would be best if I met people who have chronic illnesses, I think they would be more understanding of my “eccentricities” 🙂
My husband works in a small office where there isn’t anyone to really become friendly with.
I’ve met the neighbors on each side of me, one is an elderly couple who prefer to keep to themselves, the other is a family who are always busy. We don’t really fit in with either.
So, any ideas? I’m not adverse to meeting people, I just don’t know how.
My biggest problems are: I can’t go out alone, can’t drive, and my hearing issues.
Really, I’m looking for suggestions. Any body got any??
Mindfulness Monday 15 – Happiness
When you discover that all happiness is inside of you,
the wanting and needing are over,
and life gets very exciting.
~ Byron Katie
All the elements for your happiness are already here.
There is no need to run, strive, search or stuggle.
Just be.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Time for “Us”
This past Saturday was our 12th anniversary. With my husband being my caregiver it is hard to find days where we can find time for just us without my illnesses playing a major part. Saturday was one of those rare days.
Recently I’ve been feeling pretty darn good. I have my days of not feeling well, my balance will be way off, and I’ll topple a lot, but for the most part I haven’t had any major vertigo attacks. That’s huge for me. I had a few days last week where I just didn’t feel good. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to spend our anniversary out of my recliner. But I was surprised. I woke up feeling good, so we headed out for a day of adventure.
We had a few plans for the day. Stuart asked me what I wanted to eat on our special day and I wanted crab legs. So we found this little restaurant that is on a small lake. I love being close to water. I was such a happy girl when we were sitting there on the water I teared up. After our wonderful lunch we walked around the lake and watched the ducks. We took pictures and just enjoyed ourselves. We then went out of frozen yogurt. The whole day we flirted like teenagers. It was such a good day, but it wasn’t over.
We stayed in a hotel for the night. It had a big whirlpool tub, and was in the ritzy part of town. We decided not to go out for dinner we instead went to Whole Foods and loaded up on the Salad bar and went back to our room. That may not sound romantic but it was so nice to just curl up in bed with my hubby eating salad. 🙂
It was a very romantic day. We had planned to do more on Sunday but we were both exhausted from our anniversary celebration. We came home and just vegged. I slept sooo much. On Monday I was still paying for our little adventure and felt like I was catching a cold, but by Tuesday I was feeling well again. Which was great timing as Stuart had Tuesday off and we decided to go back to the boardwalk and just walk around and watch the ducks. We had ice cream outside enjoying the beautiful weather. It was a very relaxing afternoon. Sometimes even though I know I’ll pay the price later the price is worth it.
It is so very important to take the time to spend as much “us” time with your significant other as you can. My husband is my caregiver. Even when I’m too sick for days like Saturday (and Tuesday), we try to take some time for us. We may curl up and watch a movie together, or have a special dinner, just sit and talk…anything that makes things special. One big thing we do a lot is flirt with each other a lot. I am not able to follow through on a lot of my overtures but it doesn’t matter, he knows I want to. That is what is important. It’s important that even though we can’t be as intimate as we’d like as often as we’d like that we let each other know we’d like to, but it’s okay that we don’t. It’s okay that we just cuddle, that we are with each other, that we are so in love that not being able to have sex as much as we’d like isn’t going to come between us. And it makes those special nights in a hotel all the more special. 😉
Picnic with Ants 