little update: from travels to depression

Spring 2019 in Tucson, AZ by W. Holcombe

Recap.  Let’s see, when last I left off we planned to go to Charleston, SC in September for our anniversary; there was a possibility we might have to move; and I was getting a hair cut. Turns out none of those things are happening or happened.

Trip.  After researching a trip to Charleston it just didn’t seem like the smartest thing to do this year. The trip was going to cost us more than twice what we had originally budgeted for our trip to New Mexico, I’ve been to Charleston hundreds of times, Stuart really has little desire to visit there, we weren’t going to be able to see as many people as we’d like and still have a romantic trip…there were just too many things that said this was not the trip for us. We decided it would be best to take a second trip to specifically visit with family and friends, and we are going back to our original plans of going to Albuquerque and Santa Fe to celebrate our 15th anniversary.

Move.  I’m relieved to say that we do not have to move, our landlords have decided not to sell the house right now. The house has a pool and the best time to sell is during the summer, there are a few things they want to do to the house before selling it and they wouldn’t have been able to get it done in time to get it one the market for the pool season, so they have decided to wait.   That is a huge relief.  Soon we’ll be house hunting.  That can be fun, and or ahhhh.  Hopefully, it won’t take long to find the perfect home for us. 

Hair I ended up not getting my hair cut. It ended up being a not so good day and I just couldn’t go. I had been up most of the night with nausea, and when I don’t sleep the next day is precarious.  I haven’t made a new appointment yet.  I have a case of the nerves about it now.  As much as my long hair is hard to wash and gets everywhere, it is very easy to just throw it in a pony tail, and I’m used to it.  I think I’m a creature of habit.  What if I really mess it up?  When I was younger I’d think, “It’s hair, it will grow back”  Now, my hair is much thinner, and I’m not too sure it will grow back.  Damn I’m old.  hahahah

Migraines. I’ve been on the new migraine preventative, Emgality, for a month now. I was told not to expect a reduction in migraines the first month. I talked with others and most on the boards noticed some difference.  Here’s my experience:

In February I had NO migraine free days and took medication for 10 days (the maximum number of days allowed) . In March I had 2 migraine free days and took medication for 10 days. This month, I had 5 migraine free days, and I’ve taken meds for 7 days. This may not sound like much of a reduction, but I haven’t had 5 migraine free days in a month in as long as l can remember. My maximum free is normally 2, and I always take the medication for the maximum allowed number of days. This week I actually reached for a rescue med at the first sign of a migraine, like you are supposed to, instead of waiting until it hit an 8, because I wasn’t afraid I’d run out of allowed days before the end of the month. I took my second shot yesterday, cross fingers for me that May brings fewer migraines.

Bipolar Depression.  This week I broke down and started a new antidepressant.  I tried hard to pull myself out of this funk, this sadness, this feeling of utter worthlessness, but I haven’t been able to.  I told myself it was situational, it wasn’t me, and I could get past it if I worked on it.  I’ve been working with my therapist and I do have things in my life that can cause depression, but the situations, and my coping with them, are getting better, but the feelings aren’t.  It’s time for a little help.  I’m having very mixed emotions about this and I’m not sure why.  I feel like I’m always going to be a bit off anyway.  I’m never going to be normal.  I’m always going to be bipolar.  When do I stop and just say, this is how I am and it’s how I’m going to be.  This is my normal.  Live with it.  No more medication tweaks.  No more added medications.  But I want to feel better.

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12 thoughts on “little update: from travels to depression

  1. I am always so happy to see you post! Congratulations on the breathing space with the house situation. WHEW!! WHEW!! WHEW!! Now you also have the pool to cool down in on those not so great days. Your trip plans sound wonderful! Taking time for romance is wonderful and I am holding on to the juju train to send you a bunch of migraine free days!! FREE PASSES!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is a lot of relief and good news here. Sending good thoughts for the house hunting and the new migraine meds. I hope you have more migraine-free days and meds at the end of the month.

      And, never anything wrong with getting a little help. I don’t think we ever go yippee, a new drug. But, we do realise the benefits of trying something new. As the saying goes: go out on the limb, that’s where all the fruit is. Hoping the drug is “fruitful” for you.

      Now, your hair. Because, really, this is the vitally important stuff. Were you considering a specific cut or just a trim? If just a trim, why not cut your hair yourself, leaving it long enough to still put it in a pony tail? I cut mine 2 or 3 times a year but leave it long enough to do a pony tail because, like you, I’m old and want to go for easiest solution.

      Hmm, very strange. There doesn’t seem to be an “old farts living the dream” emoji I can use for this hair dilemma so will just say 😘😘😘

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks hon! You’re a love.

        now for the important part. I don’t understand how people cut their own hair! Blows my mind 🤯 I’d need to have my head in front of me!
        I want a drastic cut, 6 – 8 inches off, from mid back to about chin length. It should accentuate my waves and loose curls and make it look fuller. I just need to make the appointment and actually get my butt in there. I’m really bad about not following through on things lately. REALLY BAD

        👵👩‍🦳💨🥂🏝💭 = “Old Farts Living The Dream”

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Rita McGregor

    Sounds like that wouldn’t have been the best trip to make. Good decision. You need it to be a good one–with a bit of romance! 😉

    Leah’s been going to cut my hair since possibly last fall–and she finally was able to cut it Thursday. Feels great, but I also miss the being able to just tie it back and forget it–LOL!

    So glad you will have more time to look for a new home!!! What a relief.

    Glad you are going to try something else. You are the one who knows how you feel and how you don’t want to feel. Yup–some things are for life. Always adjusting and adapting and trying different things to make life more functional…and more fun. You deserve content and better days. 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Rita. That made me feel better.
      Hope you post a picture of your new do!
      I’ll get mine cut soon. Washing it this long is more than I want to deal with. It’s half way down my back. 😮
      Pleasant days and sleep filled nights to you. 💕

      Like

  3. Good luck with the migraine medication; I hope you get some respite from these cranium crushers!
    I should get my hair cut too — what is left keeps growing, but now that I can’t get it “styled” in layers as I used to, it seems like a lot of money to spend. But the ends are dry and “yucky.” We usually measure my hair before I get it cut, and determine how much to get shorn to make it shoulder length — I always tell the stylist I want to be able to tie it back in a pony tail after the cut.
    Hope the new anti-depressant helps. Wanting to feel better is worth a try at a tweak.

    Like

    1. Thank you for the well wishes. 💕
      I get a haircut once or twice a year so I don’t mind spending a little. I used to go to the cheapy salon but I found a place that specializes in curls and she can maximize my waves which makes it look fuller. I want to cut about 8 inches off, going from mid back to right below chin length Bob. Getting rid of the weight should help it look fuller too.
      I’ll be able to pin it back, but maybe not put it up, not sure.
      I just have to make the appointment and stick to it. 🤪

      Like

  4. Pingback: Relief. The Importance of Keeping a Medication Diary – Picnic with Ants

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