After writing this it dawned on me that judging is not always negative. However, in this post, please assume all references to judging are meant negatively.
I found myself judging people recently. I touched on this a couple of weeks ago when I posted on Kindness. I realized just how much people judge others. I don’t think many of us mean to, it just happens. There is something, someone does, that simply doesn’t mesh with what you believe in, and, let’s face it, gossiping is so easy. Often I find myself not having anything in common with someone I’m forced to talk with except for out dislike of someone else, this often leads to gossip, does that happen to you guys?
In Buddhism, one of the Eight Fold Path is “Samma vaca: Right speech: No lying, criticism, condemning, gossip, harsh language. Right
Speech involves abstaining from lying, gossiping, or hurtful talk.” I find this very hard to follow. In further teachings, one is taught that you much have Right thought: This goes one step further than Right Speech, you don’t simply not talk ill of someone, you don’t even have that thought. Now that is something to aspire to! If I have to do that one to obtain Enlightenment, I probably won’t be getting there any time soon.
In Christianity, the Bible states in Matthew 7:1 “1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” (there are several other mentions of judging people, but the all pretty much repeat what Matthew has said here or they have expounded on it. You can find out more here.
In Islam, Allah said : “O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other.”, among other verses that condemn judging others.
If being non-judgmental is taught by so many religions, why is it common practice amongst almost everyone one? Heck, most religions judge other religions and their followers. I don’t know if it’s even possible to go through life never judging anyone, but wouldn’t it be a much better place if we could. I doubt I’ll ever get there, but I am going to try my best to not gossip; well, I might bitch a little to Stuart just so I won’t hold explode, but other than that, I will try…I can’t promise, but I’m going to try.
(I mean how could you not judge someone who signs a car financing agreement without looking at how much the car cost? She’s either stupid, or lying. Since moving to Tucson I’m listening to this kind of thing a lot, I’m judging, and it’s stressing me out big time! I’d go so far as to say, it’s making me sick. What am I going to do? The judging seems to be automatic, that guilt is causing enough stress, add to that the stress of feeling like I shouldn’t talk about it, I’m wound up tight as a tick! (if you aren’t from the South, you can find out what they means here. Suffice to say, pretty darn stressed)
Don’t judge yourself by your past. You don’t live there anymore. ~Unknown
The world would be a happier, more peaceful place if we all tried to understand instead of judging, paused before reacting, and gave each other the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst. ~Lori Deschene
Please don’t judge people. You don’t know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggles of others. ~Karen Salmansohn