Please note, this post is just random thoughts I’m having and want to get out of my head for a bit.
I’ve had a lot of time to think recently. I haven’t been able to type a lot because I hurt my shoulder. I fell, again. This time I was going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I was not balancing very well, but that’s normal. I started to fall right at the toilet and fell into the wall. My shoulder took most of the weight. So I’ve tried to just do less with it, but it got worse. So I had to do much, much less. Now it seems to be getting better.
So if I haven’t been commenting on your blogs, it doesn’t mean I haven’t been reading, I just haven’t been typing much. I read them in my email on my phone, it’s hard to comment on my phone, and that would hurt my arm just as much, I think. So in the wee hours of the morning when I’m up coughing, I’m probably reading your blog, and thinking of You.
Stuart has started school. I’m proud of him. I’m also scared and stressed out. I don’t want to live poor again. Not that we are rich by any means, but I used to live paycheck to paycheck and often ran out of money. I remember many times living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for weeks to get by, I’d also accept dates from guys I knew I didn’t want to date just so I would get a good meal. Stuart has never wanted for anything really. So I’m much more stressed about it than he is. In my heart I know things will work out. But, in my gut, I’m nervous.
I will be going to Duke’s Asthma, Allergy, and Airway clinic on Friday. Please everyone think about me and send good thoughts that they will be able to stop this dang cough. I’ve been coughing every day since mid October…yes that’s last year!
On September 3rd, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary. We can’t really do anything but we’ll be celebrating that we’ve been through so much in our 9 years of marriage and are still madly in love.
The second week of September I go in for Pre-Op for my second cochlear implant surgery.
The surgery is on September 25th. I don’t know why, but I’m more nervous this time than I was the last time. Before I was more excited, now, I’m a bit scared. I shouldn’t have, but I expected a lot from the first CI, so this time I’m not expecting anything. Which is silly, that’s what I have now. No hearing in that ear. Things have to be better when I can hear out of two ears.
Well, I have much more on my mind but I don’t have the energy to write more right now. And you are probably tired of reading my tirade.
What’s on your mind today?
Picnic with Ants 
I have lots of stuff on my mind today. My grandma is in the hospital, I still haven’t found work, had a huge panic attack but mostly i’m thinking about what the hell am i going to do for the rest of my life since I’ll be turning 38 in November.
And I never tire of your tirades! Sorry I haven’t been on much.
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I will be praying for you Wendy! I too think of you all the time. I am so glad that God has answered my prayers and I am heading back to work next week. I will pray for healing for you as well. I know you are not the praying type but please know that He loves you and wants you to be well. Psalm 32 tells us that those who trust in The Lord, mercy shall surround them. Trust Him Wendy. Don’t be nervous about your surgery. Trust. When I got so sick back in January I wasn’t trusting in God as I should be. He used the illness to draw me nearer. You are His child and He loves you. In verses 6-8 of this Psalm, it shows us that He longs for us to seek His help in difficulty. I feel his love for you Wendy. It’s immense. It’s over whelming!
I will be praying for you everyday Wendy! Miracles happen….I am living one and you will too!
Huge hugs,
Deb
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Sorry to hear about your shoulder/arm! I wish Stuart the best with his studies and being back in school. I went back to school when I was 48 and it was a shock at first, a lot of work, and exciting, too. New path for him!
Happy anniversary on the 3rd! I hope the surgery works well for you this time. :):)
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Happy unanniversary since I’m a day late!
I think things are scarier when you’re dealing with chronic illness and pain; big changes are not always easy to take. Having Stuart back in school is a BIG change; no wonder it makes you nervous.
Hope the coughing place can figure out what’s up and propose a plan to alleviate or eliminate your coughing issues.
And, sending you good thoughts for the operation. You’ve had it before, you know the routine and the recovery — that can be reassuring and anxiety-making. You know the stakes now, and how long the road can be to get your implants “tuned” into good channels.
Hope your arm gets better. I’ve fallen off the toilet numerous times — but with me it’s usually because I fell asleep there — much less of a reason than you have! I’ve fallen asleep at the computer too — waiting up with my nose dug into the key board if I go in straight, or a key pressing on my cheek if I go in sideways.
So, sending good thoughts your way for September. Good luck. Safe home.
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