Prompt for today: Health tagline. Give yourself, your blog, your condition, or some aspect of your health a tagline. Makesure it’s catchy!
When I first read this prompt I admit I thought. Really? What you want me to write one line and that’s it?
Hope I came up with something useable.
Ants with Picnic - free download by phillipmartin
So I already have a tag line…. My blog is called Picnic With Ants – I think my tag line would be “The Ants That Bite.”
It’s all explained in my side bar. I try to think of my life as basically good, a picnic…but then the ants arrive and a few bite me in the butt.
I have too many chronic illnesses to focus on just one. So the Ants focus on all of them, they all bite me in the butt….some more than others. Some literally, like the chronic tail bone pain – Whew is that a pain in the butt!
So I guess that’s it.
I saw this ad for a t-shirt a long time ago, and I think it personifies me to a tee. I will leave it with you….although it has nothing to do with ants. : )
Today I’m using a prompt from the Extra prompts they sent us.
Daily Schedule. Write a list of your daily routine from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed. Be honest!
photo courtesy of istockphoto.com
Honestly, I don’t have a set schedule for any day. My days are ruled by my conditions. If I’m having a day filled with vertigo, or migraines I spend the day in bed. If my hearing is way down, I spend the day as alone as possible. I often have doctor’s appointments. My days change from one to the next, a lot. If I’m feeling a bit better, I do more….
Here’s a recent weekend day.
After a restless nights sleep I awake around 9am with a blinding headache. I’m seeing double, with shadow spots on the walls. I take the medication that should lower my CSF pressure(cerebrospinal fluid pressure), and wait to see if it will relieve the pain. My husband brings me some breakfast in bed, along with the rest of my morning medications. The headache has not eased. Finally, I decide I should take some migraine and pain medication also. I try to sleep some more, this time sitting up, hoping my CSF pressure will lessen.
Noon – The headache is still there but much better, I’m hungry, but not sure I’m steady enough to go down the stairs. My husband brings me lunch. I decide to check my email, and do some things on the computer. Focusing up close is much easier than focusing at a distance.
2pm – Time for my next CSF pressure pill. I’m feeling much better, and steadier. We decide to take advantage of this time feeling a bit better. I want to go to the local Co-Op to pick up vegetables and meat for dinners for the week. We had a good trip to the store, and a nice ride home.
4pm – Home. I’m tired just from the little bit of shopping we did, and the ride. I help put the groceries away, and start to plan dinner. I turn and feel the world move. Oh no.
5pm – 9:30pm I have vertigo. This vertigo is caused by the Intracranial Hypertension, not the Meniere’s. I can tell because if I keep my head in one position and concentrate on something still close to me I will stop spinning, but if I move, the vertigo returns. If I was having a vertigo attack from Meniere’s I would not be able to stop it, no matter what.
9:30pm I am completely exhausted from the vertigo attack. Finally, I can move. I eat a little something, and head to bed….with a lot of help from my husband. Take my nightly medications, and try to sleep.
This is a somewhat normal day. I don’t always have vertigo. I do normally wake up with a blinding headache that often takes hours to get under control. And we always try to take advantage of any time that I’m feeling well enough to do something. (I know going grocery shopping doesn’t sound exciting to most, but I love to cook, so shopping for food is exciting to me.)
Bonus Prompt: I keep writing because… Start your post with this sentence and, as the title says, keep writing. Free write for 15 minutes without stopping and see where it takes you.
(today’s original prompt was to post a Health Mascot. My dog Sandy is my mascot, but I couldn’t right about that today. She died April 18th, one day I’ll write about what a brave, and wonderful dog she was, how many health issues she had and over came, how she was as the vet often called her, “a Wonder Dog”. But not today.)
photo from Flicker Sharing by earthunderheaven (to find more of their work click on the photo.)
I keep writing because…recently I keep writing because I am determined to finish this challenge.
Actually, I’ve begun to wonder, why I keep writing. I know why I started, I know I have made some good contacts, friends, and my heart has been here. This blog has really helped me through some tough times when I felt no one else was listening. I’d write, just to write, and I found there were others out there, others who felt like I did, others who needed to have that contact too. Now, I’m hurting so much. I’ve had so much loss this past year. I felt I dealt with each one, I was strong, and positive. I was told I was the most positive person someone knew. I was proud of myself and how I was looking at life.
Then another diagnosis came earlier this year, and it has been hard to deal with. I couldn’t be that positive about it. I’m still a bit in shock from it, and simply not sure how to look on things positively. I’m larger than I’ve ever been, and the doctors just seem to be ignoring it, yet they tell me my triglycerides are high, and I’m borderline high blood pressure….ect….but they all say, don’t worry about the weight right now, you have to focus on this. I’m afraid I’m on my way to diabetes. I read all these books on nutrition, cut out soda, all High Fructose Corn Syrup, snack on nuts, cheese, fruit, veggies, eat at home more, cut out gluten….all these will help you lose weight…but I do all of that. so why can’t I lose weight? I need help, I’ve been to a nutritionist, no help. Most don’t even know what fructose intolerance is….I know more than most of the “professionals”. I’m grieving for the loss of what I used to be, what I used to look like. I now have no energy, can’t exercise because it will raise my CSF pressure, I can’t walk for long because of my hips, I can’t even enjoy sex.
I’m grieving because I lost everything that I gained early last year. I can’t drive again…but I have a cute little car. I can’t be a foster parent, even though we went through all the classes had all the references…everything…but no, I can’t because it wouldn’t be fair with my health issues to bring a child into this. And frankly I don’t think I’d pass the physical now.
and worst of all I lost my best friend, my little baby dog. A HUGE part of me died with her. I have to find a way to make that part live again. To put the pieces of my life back together, even if some of the pieces are missing
Why do I write? Because I need to.
But I also need to take a break.
I may write sporadically for a while to let you know what is going on, but I need to take a break from the internet. I won’t be reading other people’s blogs as much or commenting as much. I need to take some time to focus on me. I may write about it, I may not. right now I’m simply trying to figure out how to get past all the grief of things I’ve lost this year, or how to grieve without losing myself. I need to focus more on the spiritual side of me. I need to make some huge decisions. My husband and I need to grieve over our Sandy together, and figure out how we will carry on with our family now that such a huge part of it is gone. We may end up moving. As I said a lot of decisions….and a lot of needs.
But yes I will write again. Because I must.
End 15 minutes…plus a little to put in the photo. : )
Today’s Prompt: The Things We Forget. Visit http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/ and make your own version of a shortmemo reminder. Where would you post it?
Instead of creating a reminder on list on-line, I posted notes through-out my house. Things we need to remember.
How many times have I forgotten to take my medication? Too many! Now I keep them all sorted by day and time to take, and have them where I won't miss them. Must remember to take my meds!2 Things I have to remember before I can take a shower. 1 - Take my hearing aid out. Yes I have gotten in the shower and started to wet my hair and realized...Oh NO! I have my hearing aid in! Luckily no damage done, but this I must remember! 2. Because of the vertigo and disequilibrium, I cannot take a shower without someone near to hear me if I need help. I've fallen a few times, or ended up sitting on the shower floor just trembling in fear. I need to swallow my pride and ask my husband for help.My hubby needs noise to sleep, so he leaves the bathroom fan on at night. This doesn't bother me because I take my hearing aid out. However, in the morning the first sound I want to hear when I put my hearing aid in is not a wind tunnel!!!! Since my hearing is distorted, the fan doesn't just sound like a little fan, it sounds like I'm in a huge wind storm. So honey, please remember to turn the fan off.
The 2 notes are on our front door, things we don't want to forger when going outside. 1 - I have an emergency kit made up in case I have an attack when I am out. This item we should never leave home without. Also I need to drink a lot of water with the medication I'm on, and I also need to have water close in case I have to take emergency pills. A Must that we Cannot Forget when leaving the house! 2 - I'm often spent by the evening, so Hubby needs to water the plant in the front. We have a small area with herbs, and some flowers. He often forgets to water. This has made for an unhappy wife. So Watering the Plants out front...Important not to forget!Very Important, Every Day, a note to myself "Remember You are Loved!"
Today’s Prompt: Miracle Cure. Write a news-style article on a miracle cure. What’s the cure? How do you get the cure? Be sure to include a disclaimer 😉
My Miracle Cure would not be for a cure of a disease, it would be to ease the pain of so many….including myself, I’m not completely altruistic. A world where chronic pain, and severe acute pain could be managed with ease. No weird side-effects. No matter what illness you have. Fibromayalgia pain – no problem, Pain from Cancer – gone, Chronic headaches – not any more, acute migraines – no worries!…… You can be helped. This would be the miracle I would like to see happen.
This is a fake article. Do not take this post seriously.
Breaking News: Pain Relief for All
FDA Approves Painfree –
First Non-Addictive Pain Medication – for the Management of Acute and Chronic Pain
HOPELANDS, England and JUSTINTIME, N.J., April 20, 2012 /PRNewswire/ — Panacea Pharma Ltd., and its subsidiary, Panacea Pharma U.S. Inc., today announced that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved Painfree (nomorsus) for the management of severe acute and chronic pain. Painfree marks the first FDA product approval for Panacea Pharma. Painfree is marketed as NoMorPain (nomorsus) in Europe, where it is presently available in five countries.
Severe Acute pain comes on quickly but lasts a relatively short time compared to chronic pain. Chronic pain persists over time and is often resistant to medical treatments.”Painfree is an important new option for patients with severe acute and chronic pain,” says Ivanna Ubetter, chief executive officer of Panacea Pharma. “Painfree, is designed to deliver medicine in a rapid, but controlled manner, and provides patients with an effective alternative to manage their pain.”
“As the first non-addictive pain management drug in the U.S., Painfree provides a new approach to managing the often debilitating and inadequately-treated episodes of acute and chronic pain that millions experience,” said Ibe Live, M.D., director at Paeon Research LLC., and clinical investigator for Painfree. “Current treatment options typically utilize short-acting oral opioid medications that cannot provide pain relief without many side effects, often leaving the patient with little quality of life. Painfree’s non-narcotic formulation is much better suited to help patients control their pain, and continue living the life they want.”
Ubetter said, “Panacea Pharma looks forward to working closely with health care professionals to ensure safe and consistent access to Painfree for the patients who are seeking relief from unbearable episodes of acute and chronic pain in.”
I thought and thought about this prompt and could think of 5 people, but realized after I invited 2 of them it wouldn’t be fair to the other 3 to have them in attendance, unless they just wanted to talk among themselves.
The first person I would invite would be my mother. She died in 1993.
The second person I would invite would be my husband.
The two most important people in my life, never met.
This is the dinner party I would like to have, I’d like the man I love, to meet my mother.
Of course, now I’m crying and have no idea what else to say in this post…..I’ll try and muddle through…
Let me tell you a little about my mother. My mother and I were always very close. When I was a child we played together, as I got older we told secrets, she always knew when I really needed to talk and she’d take me for a day trip to the beach. I didn’t realize if until years later, but those trips were huge bonding experiences for us. Never did we leave to come home without me unburdening to her whatever was on my mind. She was the kind of mother that all the kids wanted to be around. I often came home to find a friend talking with her. They hadn’t come to see me, they wanted her advice.
I think back over the past 19 years and for many of them I simply can’t believe she wasn’t here. I actually remember her at different events. I can almost hear us planning my wedding. But alas, she wasn’t there. My husband’s mother died just months before we were married. We had an empty seat for both of them beside our fathers. We walked down the aisle together, when we reached our parents I gave one of my flowers (I carried Calla Lillis) to my Stuart for his mother, and I had one for mine….we put them on the empty chairs, and kissed our fathers and continued up the aisle to become joined as husband and wife.
The next day we came back to the park we were married in to have photos taken, they were catching and tagging humming birds. Both of our mother’s loved humming birds. So much so we included the theme in our reception to include our mother’s presence. While they were tagging the migration they allowed me to hold 2 hummingbirds. Yes, I actually got to hold them. You see after they are caught they have to give them sugar-water and they sit in your hand a moment to warm up before they can fly away. We took this as a sign that our mothers were pleased with our union….a little hello if you would.
Can you blame me for wanting my mother to meet this incredible man who has taken care of me so unselfishly, so lovingly for so long now? My mother was my hero growing up, my husband is my hero now!
I know they would adore each other. But to have one dinner together, can you imagine?
All the stories about me growing up? The silly stories Stuart would share with my mother?
The proud moments a mother likes to share.
To share our wedding photos with her….to tell her all about it….
My mother finally seeing me stable (I had been diagnosed with Bipolar I before she died, but I was not completely stable until after she passed away.)
My mother seeing me happy, finally very happy, in spite of what my body is going through, I am happy most of the time……that is if I could stop crying!
and to have my mother hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright…..oh what I wouldn’t give for that.
I know many of you will say she does see me, and she is always here with me….yes, I know.
But to have my mother and my husband actually meet, and have dinner with me…..that would be the ultimate dream for me.
Today’s Prompt: Open a Book. Choose a book and open it to a random page and point to a phrase. Use that phrase to get you writing today. Free write for 15-20 without stopping.
I’m always reading. One book I’ve been reading on and off for a while is I Know What I Like (a visual autobiography by) Vincent Price. (one of the coolest people who ever lived!!! Just saying!!) I’ve had the book for a few years now, and normally I fly through books, but this book I’m savoring, and enjoying every morsel of it.
I just opened the book closed my eyes and pointed to a phrase…..
local thrift store interior - Pennies for Change, Durham, NC
“The junk store still holds a ghastly fascination for me.”
I’ve always enjoyed shopping in thrift (or junk) stores. Yard sales were also a fascination for me. I would go with my friend and her mother to scour the neighborhoods for the best yard sales, my friend would begrudgingly go, I eagerly awaited the search for the newest treasure. Some days I may find nothing of interest. Normally I found at least a book I just had to have! Often I came away with treasures I just knew others would love and hold dear, often to be disappointed when they were less than impressed by my “used” gift.
As I got older I depended on the thrift store to supplement my wardrobe, and I loved it! No I couldn’t afford the fancy clothes many of the kids wore at the private school I went attended, I was lucky to get a few fundamental pieces, then I discovered thrift stores! Why would I pay $50 for a name brand sweater I could find for $2? Having used clothes never bothered me. I was picky about what I bought, and no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, but I bragged, and still do. Someone will complement me on an outfit and I’ll say, “I paid $12 for this whole outfit, including the shoes!! In high school it wasn’t cool, but in college….times changed.
A photo of a chair close to my favorite chair, but mine swiveled!
I was an art student. I bought all my clothes from thrift stores, loved to create my own look! (wonder where that ability went?) I often bought old paintings and white washed them and painted over the old painting. Cheap canvas!! I found many things to use for art projects! For the artist, a thrift or junk store is a paradise. My furniture was mostly thrift store items. I loved them. A bright yellow half circle leather chair from the 1970’s – that was my favorite. I remember needing storage and an end table so I bought a bunch of old suitcases, cleaned them up, stored things in them, stacked them up and that was my table! I still think that was a cool table.
Ahhhh, I remember my roommate bought a mink coat for $10. It was such a wreak, and we were all a thither over the idea that someone would kill animals for a coat, but they had, and she felt that she was saving this poor pelt. What a mess. I don’t know what she ended up doing with it, I hope a good burial, but I’ll never forget that poor, poor mink coat we found.
I’ve found some gorgeous art books, I have a huge collection of old art books that have the prints in them. They are gorgeous.
Now, before we buy anything new we go to the thrift store first. I still buy a lot of my clothes used. Little house hold gadgets….
I have found that most thrift stores are not the treasure houses they used to be, it’s more “trendy” to shop in thrift stores now. I haven’t seen good used furniture in our local thrift stores in a long time, and when I do, the prices are way too high.
Still, I love to go on a treasure hunt in a junk or thrift store, I do not believe the fascination will ever die for me. (as long as I take an allergy pill first, whew the dust will get you!)
“Ummmmm, honey, think we can go thrift store shopping this weekend?”
I think with my health, the Greatest Lesson I Learned the Hard Way was that Doctors Do NOT always know, they CAN’T always fix you, and they WILL lie.
At 10 I broke my arm, it was a silly way to break a bone, so no one really thought it was broken, until the next day. My shoulder, and my arm down to my elbow was black and blue. Amazing. My mother felt such guilt because couldn’t believe it could be hurt that bad. You see, I was climbing up the side of a hill, not a big hill, I grabbed a root that was sticking out to help pull me up, and it let go. I fell back. My feet were only inches from the ground. I fell on my left arm. It was my RIGHT arm that was hurting. No one could understand. No one but me, you see, I heard the bone snap.
We got to the Navy clinic, and they performed x-rays of my arm. It caused quite a stir. At one point, I counted 8 doctors in the room trying to get a glimpse of my x-rays. They were confused. Was my collar-bone broken too? What was all those lines? We better send her to a specialist. So my whole side was immobilized, and we were sent to the big Navy Hospital, downtown Charleston, SC. My mother hates to drive in traffic. She didn’t get her license until after I was born. But my father was at sea, she had to be brave, and be the only parent. I remember being in much more pain during and after the x-rays. Could they not be a little more gentle with a 10-year-old child? and maybe give her something for pain?
So we arrived at the big Hospital, to this little girl, it was the biggest building I’d ever seen. Again, there were many doctors looking at my x-rays. Many having no idea what they were looking at. Finally, saying this is very rare in such a young child. And then taking my mother out in the hall.
That should have been my FIRST lesson – Doctor’s KEEP SECRETS.
When they returned my mother looked a bit confused, stunned, and scared. I was told I had broken my arm. But I also had a bone cyst. A fibrous mass in my bone instead of a solid bone. It was “NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT”. However, we needed to keep an eye on it, and I’d have to have a special cast. I couldn’t have a whole cast, just a partial cast, because the cyst “needs to breathe” – I will never forget that phrase, I was only 10, but I thought, so I have some foreign thing living in me that has to breathe on its on? What really was happening, was the tumor would make my arm swell and go down and swell and go down…ect….so a regular cast would not work. And this was in 1973, so those fancy hard velcroed on casts weren’t around yet. (actually, the very first one of those was a prototype made for me! after my surgery, isn’t that cool?)
So I broke my arm 5 times. They kept saying they were watching it, and I wasn’t supposed to be doing anything strenuous because I could break it. Um, Someone opened a door into me while I had a cast on (was days from getting it off) and broke my arm. I don’t think I was being strenuous! I never learned how to play any sports, I wasn’t allowed, I am so uncoordinated and so dumb about any sport activity. I’ll be asked to play soft ball, I’m so embarrassed, I’ve tried to play, and volley ball…ect. I can’t do it. I simply have no eye hand coordination and I’m like a 2 year old learning to play a game. But I digress.
Finally, I was almost 16, I had stopped growing, it was time to operate. The bone in my right arm had not grown at all in the past 6 years! They took some bone from my left hip, shaved it off from around the tip of the pelvic girdle. (I know what you are thinking, she has chronic pelvic pain, I don’t think it’s from this, most of my pain if on the other side.) They opened the upper right humerus of my right arm and scraped out the mass, and packed it full of the hip bone pieces. So they had to fuse together. (yes, my father says I can literally say, I carry my ass on my shoulder!)
So then the lies start to come together. While I’m in the hospital I started to hear things. Like the tumor that was removed. And the malignancy. I was given medication via IV, that had a little radiation symbol on it. I got very sick. And I was in the hospital for over a month. I was never told the whole truth. You know I’m not even sure my mother was told the whole truth. I do think my father was. It was that kind of times. Tell the father, let him decide what to tell the family. But from the things I got a hold of in the hospital, and the questions people answered before they thought about it….it sounds like, I had a tumor. Yes, this I do know, I did hear the doctors say that…well, over hear. I also over heard from the nurses when they thought I was sleeping. It was mostly benign, but had some malignant cells. I handled the chemo and radiation treatment well. “It’s a good thing they got it when they d
That quote still haunts me. They waited 6 years for my bone to grow. If they had operated earlier, I probably would have had NO CANCER. I would not have lost so much of my childhood. I would have had a solid bone, yes it would have been shorter, so what! It still is!!! And I still have pain from it! They still didn’t fix it.
And remember I was never told this. I heard it all second-hand. Not long ago, I tried to get my records from the Navy Hospital. They said I needed my father’s authorization since he’s still alive. If he was dead, it could even be harder from what I’ve heard. I asked him to get them for me. “For what, you don’t need that.” I tried to explain, I’m having a lot of medical problems now and any information from my past might help my doctors now. “I don’t believe that, it’s too much trouble. I don’t know why you’re always wanting to bring up the past.” Okay???? Where did that come from? but I guess no medical records.
So my Lesson I Learned the Hard Way…Doctors do not know everything! Doctors can’t always fix everything. and Doctors will Lie, or in this instance, at least keep things from you.
However, I have had them lie to me at different times….that was a Lesson Revisit.
Today’s Prompt: Pinboard. Create a pinterest board for your health focus. Pin 3 things. What did you pin? Share the images in a post and explain why you chose them.
I chose to pin a few more than 3 things, and probably could have done more. However, I only pinned photos and artwork I created. I chose these images because I felt they were closer to me and expressed what I wanted to say many times.
Here are the photo’s I shared on my Pinterest Board, titled, My Illnesses….pluses and minuses.
Picnic with Ants 