It has been a very long day and I thought about not writing today, but the main reason I decided to post these journal entries here instead of writing them in a personal journal was to keep me accountable and keep me motivated, so here goes it.
My 3 day migraine broke about 10pm last night, so I was able to sleep well until 5am when I woke feeling a bit off and went to the bathroom when suddenly vertigo hit and so did the pain in my head. I had a vestibular migraine, with migraine associated vertigo. I’m not sure how long the vertigo lasted. I took my medication, and used medical marijuana to stop the vomiting and waited it out until I could go back to sleep. Stuart stayed with me and then worked from home to make sure I was okay. When I got up at 10am I no longer felt the effects of the vertigo, but the migraine was more intense. I ate breakfast hoping it would improve before my 1pm appointment, but by noon I decided I needed to take something. It took the edge off just enough that I was able to get through my appointment.
Now, about that appointment! I’ve been in physical therapy for my back and it simply hasn’t been helping so I decided to try something else. Someone recommended a woman who is a physical therapist who teaches therapeutic yoga. I’m working one on one with her. The first visit was very interesting. She showed me lots of photos of how muscles work together and we talked about how if certain muscles in one part of the body are not strong then other parts of the body will suffer. My hips and pelvic area are weak. She said that often when those muscles are weak it will cause pain in the back, especially when standing for a while, like mine does. She gave me some very simple exercises to focus on over the next couple of weeks then I go back in. I don’t know if this will help my back or not, but I know my whole pelvic area needs to be stronger so I’m going to work really hard on this. I’m really proud of myself for going to this appointment after waking with vertigo this morning, often that would cause me to be too afraid to do anything for the rest of the day. I was more off balance than normal, but I was determined, and since Stuart was able to take me I felt safe.
After that appointment we went and picked up my new glasses. I got new glasses a couple of weeks ago, but they made the lenses wrong. They had the focal point in the wrong spot so my progressives were not working at all. Now they are all fixed and I can see the computer. I’m not positive I like these new frames, it will take me a while to get used to them. They are SO different from my old ones. I went from dark bold statement frames to clear light weight frames. What a difference. I would post a picture, but I’m in bed. lol
We then went to Walgreens to pick up some prescriptions of mine and get some things straight they have messed up and I had a bit of a melt down. They really have messed up a few of my prescriptions, calling doctors for refills who I don’t see anymore, filling things I don’t need, prescriptions not showing up on line so I can manage them….So I had a list of things that needed to be discussed fixed, but I couldn’t hear anything in there so Stuart had to do the talking. I was trying so hard to follow what was being said, and he would ask me something and I’d try to answer and then I felt like he just dismissed me and half the things on my list were not addressed and it was just a mess. I ended up in tears and went to sit in the car. There has to be a better way for me to communicate the things I need.
I looked back at the situation and when we walked up there it was so noisy I got so overwhelmed told Stuart that I couldn’t hear so he would need to handle it for me. Right there, I gave up my control in the situation, but then I got upset when I felt like he “dismissed” me. When I started to feel like things were not being handled the way I wanted them to be, I should have spoken up and said something. Even though I couldn’t hear well enough, I should have made them slow down and help me understand, even it that meant they had to write it down. This is my healthcare, I need to be more assertive and stop being so afraid.
There’s something else I need to also look at with this situation though, I had a migraine. The pain had increased to a 7, it was harder to concentrate and focus, my vision was slightly blurred from the florescent lights and the right side of my face was tingling. I honestly don’t know if I would have spoken up if I had been migraine free, but I do think I need understand that migraine changes how you deal with life, and I need to give myself a break sometimes.
Picnic with Ants 
What an eventful day! You really persevered despite the obstacles. The medicine thing sounds overwhelmed, especially since you had a headache. Can I throw a hug in here?
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Yes be kind to yourself! Is there some kind of technology you can use to help communicate these issues? or perhaps write them in a letter and hand the letter to the person so they can help you? just a thought, I just cant image what you go through everyday, hugs!
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I think you did very well getting the appointment given how you’d been feeling! And I’m glad it went well. So you’ll be going back in a few weeks, that’s cool. It’s funny you mentioned hips and pelvic area are weak as my physio said something similar; she got me to do exercises to try to strengthen my hips/upper legs/bum so my hips don’t have to work as hard as they get incredibly painful. Good luck with the exercises 🙂
Do you find the medical marijuana helps a significant amount, or just enough to make a slight improvement..? I’m just curious, you don’t have to answer.
I’m sorry you’re having such a frustrating time with your prescriptions, and there’s never any reason someone should treat you like that. Being assertive isn’t easy, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Maybe you can have it as a work-in-progress and sometimes it won’t go the way you’d like because, as you say, struggling health-wise will often knock you off your game.
Glad you now have new glasses you can see in, hurrah! A change in frames can take time getting used to – maybe you can post a pic next time if you’re feeling up to it.
Caz xxxx
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Caz, I never mind answering questions from you. Even after almost a year I’m still learning a lot about using marijuana medicinally. It sure isn’t like anything else I’ve ever tried. There are so many different strains that help with different things. There are strains that help more with certain pain, and some that help more with nausea., and there are some that make migraines worse. So it has been a BIG learning curve. I really should write a post about it all. Now to answer your question. It can really help with my migraine pain, but I haven’t found it to help my back pain all that much. But to be fair, I haven’t searched for a strain that to help with muscle pain, I have done extensive research to find a strain that works for migraines. I finally found one that does a good job working on migraines and nausea that is available in my area, it does a good job. But just like with pain meds, it can make you loopy. Unless I’m going to be home I don’t like to do it. However, I just recently realized something, a lot of the stupid feeling that I thought I was having from the pot, is probably from my migraines. for example, I wasn’t using it yesterday and I had that same sensation. I’m having more vestibular migraines and the symptoms can make me feel “high”. If I do use it then it really helps my pain, and I don’t feel more dumb, it really helps the nausea, and if I don’t fight the sensation it very is relaxing. It’s also different depending on how you ingest it, I won’t get into all that. So, yes, it can really help. But, it is not a miracle, at least not for me. Mostly I use it to take the edge off so I can still function okayish, unless I’m really in a lot of pain and I’m going to be home all day, then I’ll use more and just completely veg out or go to sleep. Oh, I do make up some edibles to help me sleep too, and that relieves pain at night.
Now, did any of that make sense?
About the prescriptions, it is a hassle, but it will either get sorted out or I’m changing pharmacies. Stuart didn’t really “dismiss” me, or didn’t mean to, he wouldn’t really. I couldn’t hear what was being said and it got very confusing, I felt dismissed, I know in my heart he didn’t mean it that way, but it sure felt like it at the time. You are very right though, no one should treat anyone that way. I am definitely a work in progress.
I’m not sure how much I like these new glasses. When I said at lunch on Saturday that I was surprised no one noticed my new glasses, Stuart’s sister said, oh she noticed, they do not look like my style, they are too “normal” for me. I keep hearing that word in my head “normal” I don’t think I’ve ever been called normal before. And golly, if people are noticing and not saying anything, that can only mean one thing, they have been taught if you can’t say anything nice you don’t say anything at all. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how much I liked them before, now…ehhhh.
xoxo Wen
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Yes, that did make sense – thank you for taking the time to share your experiences on the medical marijuana, you’ve covered it really well. It’s interesting as people react to it differently but it sounds like there’s a lot of variation with the strains and actually the type of pain it may or may not help. A lot of trial and error involved, but even if you can get a little relief with any time of pain I think it’s worth it. Just having the edge taken off is better than nothing, though I obviously wish it could do more to help you. In the UK it’s only CBD oil that’s legal really; there’s a lot of debate over it and although it can be prescribed, it’s in rare, extreme cases. CBD oil in shops is very expensive and from what I’ve found very weak typically.
So someone said that your glasses are too ‘normal’ for you… they were calling you normal. You’re too cool for the glasses is what they mean. I want to say ‘don’t worry what anyone else thinks’ but that’s easier said than done, especially if you’re not sure how much you like them. Can we see a photo? If not then no pressure, you obviously don’t have to. Do you think there’s any way they’d let you swap the frames, if you said they’re too uncomfortable? Some places do a guarantee thing so you can swap frames if they’re unsuitable within a certain period of time. Otherwise, if you think you like them, then stuff what anyone else thinks, you can rock anything with a little confidence and at least you can see with the right prescription 😉
Caz xx
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You rock Caz!!
I’m hoping once I get my hair cut I’ll like these glasses more. I’m finally making a new appointment, and my stylist is hard to get in to, so it will be a while yet. Heck, if I absolutely hate them, I’ll get new ones. I got a really good deal on these and spent a fourth of my budget. I’d actually thought about getting another pair anyway. But for now, as you said, I can see!!
xoxo Wen
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