Please note, this post is just random thoughts I’m having and want to get out of my head for a bit.
I’ve had a lot of time to think recently. I haven’t been able to type a lot because I hurt my shoulder. I fell, again. This time I was going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I was not balancing very well, but that’s normal. I started to fall right at the toilet and fell into the wall. My shoulder took most of the weight. So I’ve tried to just do less with it, but it got worse. So I had to do much, much less. Now it seems to be getting better.
So if I haven’t been commenting on your blogs, it doesn’t mean I haven’t been reading, I just haven’t been typing much. I read them in my email on my phone, it’s hard to comment on my phone, and that would hurt my arm just as much, I think. So in the wee hours of the morning when I’m up coughing, I’m probably reading your blog, and thinking of You.
Stuart has started school. I’m proud of him. I’m also scared and stressed out. I don’t want to live poor again. Not that we are rich by any means, but I used to live paycheck to paycheck and often ran out of money. I remember many times living on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for weeks to get by, I’d also accept dates from guys I knew I didn’t want to date just so I would get a good meal. Stuart has never wanted for anything really. So I’m much more stressed about it than he is. In my heart I know things will work out. But, in my gut, I’m nervous.
I will be going to Duke’s Asthma, Allergy, and Airway clinic on Friday. Please everyone think about me and send good thoughts that they will be able to stop this dang cough. I’ve been coughing every day since mid October…yes that’s last year!
On September 3rd, my hubby and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary. We can’t really do anything but we’ll be celebrating that we’ve been through so much in our 9 years of marriage and are still madly in love.
The second week of September I go in for Pre-Op for my second cochlear implant surgery.
The surgery is on September 25th. I don’t know why, but I’m more nervous this time than I was the last time. Before I was more excited, now, I’m a bit scared. I shouldn’t have, but I expected a lot from the first CI, so this time I’m not expecting anything. Which is silly, that’s what I have now. No hearing in that ear. Things have to be better when I can hear out of two ears.
Well, I have much more on my mind but I don’t have the energy to write more right now. And you are probably tired of reading my tirade.
Doctor’s Waiting Room, by CarolynYM at DeviantArt.
Why do a lot of doctors and/or their staff think they are doing patients a favor by seeing them? We are their customers, we are paying them, there are plenty of other doctors in the same field; we do not have just one choice! (I do recognize that some in rural areas do often have just one choice, I grew up in an area like that. We had to drive 2 hours for me to see an orthopedist, but still, they need to treat us with respect.)
I am so tired of going to a doctor’s office only to wait way past my appointment time, then I’m rushed through my appointment, and when I leave I feel like I wasn’t seen as a person, I was seen as dollar signs.
I have felt this way too many times. Often, I only feel this way with the doctor’s staff. I’ll love the doctor, but their staff is rude and inconsiderate.
I can give you many examples of this, but I will just give you 2 that have happened to me recently. I wish I could say these were isolated events, but unfortunately they aren’t.
Recently I was looking for a new gynecologist. The last time I went to my old GYN I had trouble with billing (during my annual visit she found something, I had to go to her office to give me a paper on it, I was subsequently sent a bill for an office visit…What?? Even if I was to be charged this, why was I not told in the office?), and feeling like she wasn’t listening to me or answering my questions. But, this is a different story. I asked my migraine specialist if she had a recommendation for a GYN who would work with my hormones to possibly help with my migraines, and who knows more about menopause than delivering babies. She recommended someone who sounded perfect. My husband made an appointment, unfortunately I was not feeling well the day before and knew I would not feel well enough the next day. He canceled before the 24 hour required notification, and rescheduled. The next time I woke up with a vicious migraine, and soon had an asthma attack. No way I could make it. Stuart called and explained, they said they understood and would not charge the late cancellation fee. He decided to wait to make the appointment again. In a few days he called to make an appointment, and set one up. The person making the appointment said that they realize his wife has health problems but she really needs to make sure and keep this appointment. Stuart wasn’t happy with this, “You can’t say you understand and then follow up with something like that.”……Then he received a call from this doctor’s office saying that the doctor would not see me. He told Stuart that we had canceled 3 times with less than 24 hours notice. Yes, my husband was livid. He got off of the phone and told me about it. He then called the office back and asked to speak to the office manager. First, he told the person he wasn’t upset with him personally, but he was upset, so please don’t take what he was going to say personally. (he is so thoughtful, I would have been upset with him, the man is the office manager, he needs to take care of these things.) Stuart then complained about the way he was spoken to, and proceeded to explain that they lied. He explained what was said, and what the truth was, and also said it wouldn’t matter now because I would not go to a doctor who allowed their staff to do such things.
Unfortunately for me, she was the only gynecologist I have found who is just a GYN and not an obstetrician too. But I did find one who practices Integrative Medicine, and works with balancing hormones. I will be seeing her in 2 weeks. Let’s hope things go better at this office.
The other incident happened at my General Practitioners office. I went to see my doctor about my asthma, I was still having a VERY hard time. I walked in the office (with the aid of my spiffy walker) and the perfume smell hit me in the face! I started to cough more and wheeze. I was having a very hard time breathing. I asked the front desk if there was somewhere else I could wait because of my asthma….I explained I couldn’t breathe with all the perfume in the waiting room…and it was obvious! She got all snippy and said no. So I said I would have to leave. Then she said, “well only if a room is empty” and she went to check. I felt like she took forever. I could tell I was making people in the waiting room uncomfortable. I had to use my inhaler 5 times just so I could catch my breath. Then she comes out and gets me. I was a mess, and ended up blacking out in the exam room, luckily my doctor and Stuart saw how pale I was getting and got me on the table lying down and helped me before I hit the floor. My doctor was not happy. (I must say that since this incident the staff there have been much more supportive. I think my doctor said something to the front desk. Plus, I think we have been lucky to talk to staff who are much more likely to help.) Now when I go there I wait in the hall until they can take me straight back. Luckily, my doctor is in a building that has a huge hallway.
Do others notice that you get poor customer service from the health care industry?
Yes, I have had some awesome care, and awesome customer service. I have some nurses and doctors that make me feel like family. But, it amazes me how many times I’ve gone to a doctor and felt like I wasn’t wanted there….that I was a bother. (once I actually had a doctor, who I was referred to, ask me why I was there??? Ummm, because my doctor told me I needed to come see you. This was after she left me in the room with the door open and talked to a friend in the hall for half an hour. She left a lasting impression on me, and not a good one. I’m often very nervous now about going to a specialist now, thinking they may wonder….why am I there? I’ve never been so embarrassed or pissed off (well I’ve probably been that pissed off, but boy was I ticked, and for some odd reason, my feelings were really hurt.)
Please note, I do understand that the staff at many doctor’s offices deal with a lot of strife, but every patient is different and should be treated that way. I’ve worked in customer service, and I would be ashamed if I treated anyone the way I have been treated at some health care provider’s offices.
We finally filed the paperwork for disability, and two days later I got a packet wanting more information about how my illness(es) limit my activities.
This entire process has taken so much out of me, it is so depressing. I do not think of myself as being so dependent and disabled as i really am. Writing it out is taking its toll on my psyche, and making me very scared about hubby taking on more responsibility outside of the home.
I was just filling out the papers and it asked what I could no longer do because of my illness that I used to do. It gave me one line. Really? One line? I realized I could probably write a book! I listed some of the most important things and then said there were way too many things to list in that area. I should probably add a new page.
When I think about it, the question should be, what can I do now that I could before. I used to do be able to do more than I do now. Now, I spend most of my time in bed. That needs to change, even if I just go to the couch. But the headaches are happier in a dark room, and my bedroom has been made dark, no other room is. I can still type on the computer…well some days. Some days, like recently, I’ve been having low-grade vertigo for days. I have been having a heck of a time. Every day I feel like I can’t move my head, things move, just not very fast. In the evenings it gets worse, much worse. (perhaps my Intracranial Hypertension meds need to be adjusted?…who knows.
The paper asked me if I have any unusual fears or behaviors. Wow! That got to me. I actually had to admit my fears. My fears that I will have an attack in public, my fears that an attack will hit any time (of course these fears are very justified).
The Bath by cristalart at deviantArt.com
But then there is the fear of taking a shower or bath…yes, I am absolutely terrified every time I have to bathe or shower. I’ve had an attack in both places, I never feel steady in either place, and I’m simply scared. I can’t be in either without someone (Stuart) in the bathroom with me, often in the bath or shower with me. Washing my hair is the worst. Having the water on my head, the temperature change, my head goes crazy. It doesn’t seem to make a difference if my hair is long or short, it is hard. At least when it’s long I can go longer between shampoos, I can just put it up in a pony tail and no one knows. (luckily I have dry hair). I normally wash up at the sink, and when I can’t do that because of my wonky head, I use wipes. Still, I miss my lovely baths. I used to relax and enjoy a bath. I’d light candles, read, or just soak. It helped my sore muscles and it made me feel pampered. Now, I’m embarrassed because I’m a bundle of nerves and crying just thinking about the fact that I need to take a bath.
Many days I’m afraid to get out of bed. I will wake up and I’m just not sure. OK, I feel like I could, but do I risk it. The last couple of weeks have been vertigo attack after vertigo attack, I hate to be unprepared for an attack, and it’s easier to ride out in my bedroom.
I’m not trying to sound pitiful. I don’t want that. I am trying hard to make things better, and I have had a few decent days. Yes! Celebrate the good days!!! It has just been hard writing down all my limitations. It’s also hard telling them, well sometimes I can do this, and other times I can do this, but most of the time I can’t do most of it. However, I do hope it gets better. I even said that in the paperwork. I do hope I will be able to do more, but I know I will always have severe limitations.
Funny thing….when they asked what I used to do that I can’t do now, I just realized I didn’t say “Hear”. Ummm, you would think that would be the first thing I thought of…but no..?
Picnic with Ants 