Not a Smooth, or Quiet, Ride

The recovery period this time is not going as smoothly as I remember it going before.

I’m hurting…much more than I think I did after my last patches.  I even read back over my posts from that time, and I barely mention back pain at all.  Day before yesterday I felt that the pain was almost gone, then yesterday the pain came back with a vengeance.  Today, the pain is still there.  My back feels stiff, sore, and like I have been beaten up.  I already hate taking pain pills, and I don’t feel like they are doing much good.  (at least they help me sleep)

Last night we were watch a movie and I started hearing this very loud roaring sound.  It sounded like some kind of machinery, or perhaps a helicopter flying right over our house.  I asked Stuart what that sound was…actually I think I may have screamed it, trying to get over the noise.  He said there was no noise.  I kind of freaked.  How could he not hear that?  It’s so loud!!  He tried to calm me, telling me that it was just a new kind of tinnitus…but I was so upset.  I decided to take half of a Diamox, to see if it would help.  If my pressure was getting too high it should.  It didn’t.  I calmed down, and watched the rest of the movie.  Thank goodness for subtitles.  One of the first Agatha Christie mysteries where the first person I thought was the killer, really was.  Of course, I doubted myself a number of times during the show, but still…first instincts count.

I finally got to sleep, even with all the racket in my head.  After a while it sounds like very loud white noise.  I woke up this morning and it wasn’t that loud.  But within an hour after getting up, it got just as loud as it was last night.

Dr. Gray just called.  She said the pain can ebb and flow like this.  (well, I don’t like it!)

She also asked if I would take a whole Diamox to see if it helps with the loud roaring.  If it helps then we know it’s high pressure; if it doesn’t, or if things get worse, we will know that my pressure is low.

A few hours later:  I took the Diamox about 1pm, about 20 – 30 minutes after taking it the roaring got even louder, and I started feeling light-headed.  But then 3pm , the roaring got better.  Still loud, but not so loud that I feel like my head is going to explode.  Now it’s about 4:30pm, and it’s getting very loud again.  So what did we learn?  I have no frigging idea.  We’ll ask Dr. Gray and see what she says, I have a feeling she’ll say, “Interesting”.  And suggest something else.

The pain is better than it was yesterday.  Stuart just asked me how many pain pills I’ve taken.  I don’t think I’ve taken any today, I may have taken one right after I got up, but none since then.  He said I seemed drunk.  Hummm.  That’s kind of disconcerting.

I may not be feeling the greatest right now, but my herb and flower garden look great.  (the vegetable garden has been a learning experience, mainly learning what not to do.)  I thought I’d share a photo of my Echinacea plant being visited by a little butterfly (unfortunately his wings are closed).

In the background to the left is my Oregano, it is impressive!   To the right is the Lavender, it’s growing, not as fast as some of the other herbs, but since this photo was taken it has gotten bigger, and it’s starting to flower.  In the far back is the green from the wild flowers.  I think I planted way too many seeds.  They are starting to bloom, I’ll share more photos of them soon.

I’ve started the Artist’s Way workshop.  Didn’t get all of my Morning Pages done last week…I wonder why? (every day I’m supposed to write 3 pages of just stream of consciousness writing, first thing when I get up…I often do them in the evening though, I like how it unburdens the day, and lifts those thoughts away so I can sleep better.) But I did get my Artist’s Date in.  (every week I’m to make a date with myself spending at least one hour doing something to nurture my artist within.)  Since I was laid up for a lot of this past week, I spent my Artist’s Date reading about Art and Artists.  I found some nice free books for my Kindle, and I’ve been enriching my knowledge of art.

I’m also participating in the Day Zero Project.  You make a list of 101 goals you want to complete in 1001 days.  You can see my list here: Wendy’s 101 Goals.  A neighbor of mine talked about working on this project on Facebook, and it inspired me.  Want to join me?  If you do, you will be helping me complete #11 on my list!

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the summer.  I’m sure I’ll be back on my feet soon, and thinking this was no big deal.  Just ready to get it over, and move on!

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About Wendy

I'm taking a journey learning to live a mindful and happy life, while living with Chronic Illnesses. I'm a bit of an idealist. I want everyone to be happy and think everyone should want the same for others. I don’t understand mean people. I cry easily and laugh often. I love cartoons, Dr. Who, and my wonderful husband...not in that order!

8 thoughts on “Not a Smooth, or Quiet, Ride

  1. First, beautiful picture of your garden. I love it!

    But I am so sorry your recovery is not going as well as before. I would also be scared by that awful, loud tinnitus. I guess it makes sense that when there is a change in your CSF pressure that this could happen, but it would feel very disconcerting. Are your headaches better? I am thinking of you and sending good vibes your way.

    I love the 101 goals idea. Right now I could apply that to the 101 pieces of paper on my desk, mostly post-it notes, that I am trying to get rid of. But, seriously, I think that is a wonderful idea. I will have to think about that…

    Hang tight, Wendy. This too shall pass.

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    • Thank you Angelea,

      My headaches are better. And I’ve found the roaring in my head is decreased if I lie flat. If I’m vertical for just a little while…ROAR! I still have a hard time believing people who are sitting next to me can’t hear it. I can feel it vibrating! Ugh! the hearing in my left ear is better today. but it still hurts. I’m ready for that to be gone. Back pain is annoying.

      Thanks again! I’m using all the good wishes that are coming my way. I feel it!! wendy

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  2. Gentle hugs to you. Hope you feel better soon.

    I took a quick look at the Day Zero Project and it seems really interesting and doable depending on how ambitious and realistic the goals are. I think some goals we make can be a bit out there, if only to be able to try something and experience it. The “List” of things I want to do keeps changing but I never give myself a serious time frame of getting the list done. This may help me. Now to put on the thinking cap.

    Great picture of your garden. We used to have an Echinacea plant in our yard. When our next door neighbours moved they gave us a one. One of the guys that used to live here loved taking care of the different flowers and plants we have planted over the years…except for this poor plant. It did well while we had it but he didn’t know it was a perennial and took it out before winter started. Oh well. We, and the birds, enjoyed it while we had it.

    Maureen

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    • Maureen, Thank you so much for the get well wishes. It means the world to me to hear them. I really do think I have healing energy coming my way! : )

      I was afraid to put somethings on my list for fear that I wouldn’t complete them. Then I added the goal to donate $5 to charity to every goal I didn’t complete. That way, if I don’t complete everything I won’t feel so bad. I’m not using it as a cop-out, I’m really trying to complete my goals. And it’s nice to have the focus. I’ve completed 2 so far. And I’m working on completing The Artist’s Way workshop (on my goal list), One of my goals is to read books that have been banned (I’m on number 2, and I’m really enjoying Uncle Tom’s Cabin). One goal is to learn 50 new words, so I’m keeping a list of words that come up in books as I’m reading them, and trying to really learn then instead of just looking it up for the moment and forgetting it. (I have 6 on the list so far.)

      I wrote my list, then went back and changed it some. I found I had some goals that were just too similar to other goals. Then I revised it again just a little. I may tweak it again…who knows. It’s supposed to be fun, and make me think about things I want to do instead of just letting the world pass me by.

      I was careful to not put any goals about my health. (other than lose weight and exercise) I think so much of that is out of my hands. And I didn’t want to make me feel like it’s my fault if I don’t get better. (perhaps a strange way to think about things.)

      One goal I would like to do, but I haven’t put it on my list, is to meet some of my friends from my blog!! Perhaps I should add that!

      thanks again for the constant encouragement. wendy

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  3. Well, there’s always Skype. And, even though I’m rarely on Facebook (I only joined to contact a long lost friend and have like a just a few things), they do have a video call feature. I’ve never used either and don’t know the pros and cons of one over the other. But, it could make for an interesting thing to do.

    Modern technology is great, isn’t it?

    Maureen

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  4. Hi. Greetings from a fellow Meniere’s sufferer in Australia. I was just surfing the net and came across your Blog. I can relate to a lot of what you have to say, although I’m not as badly affected as you are.

    Stay positive (not easy, I know), because that’s half the battle.

    All the best in the battle.

    David

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    • Thanks David,
      Welcome. Sorry to hear you too have Meniere’s. Glad to hear it isn’t as bad as mine. : )
      Hope you never get there!!
      I must admit the last couple of days haven’t been on the positive note, but this too shall pass.
      I’ll get sick of the pity party…I’m already getting on my own nerves…then I’ll find a new way to look at things.
      (I hope, I hope.) But that is the center of it all isn’t it? Hope. And I do have hope. So today isn’t such a bad day.

      the best to you!
      wendy

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  5. Hi Wendy,
    I love your garden photos! I love gardening but our 1 year old boxer has absoluely destoyed mine! He ate all the lilies, trampled the astilbe, ripped out the peonies, played with the roses..(some of them are saved as they bit him back!) and he chewed my dahlia and outhouse plant to the ground! He has even ripped the lower branches off our cedar hedge.I think I will do a post with some photos of the “ruins”! Enjoy your garden and feel better soon!
    Deb 🙂

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