Here we go again.

Still can’t hear.  It’s so much worse now that the Meniere’s is in both of my ears.  Since I can’t ever hear out of my right ear when my left ear is having problems I am at a major disadvantage.  I’m trying very hard not go get frustrated, but I get so tired of saying, “What?” and “I’m sorry, but I can’t hear you.”  I have to admit I often let my frustrations out on my husband, he will talk to me and I just yell at him that I can’t hear him.  It’s not his fault, just two days ago I could hear him.  I just get so frustrated.  I’m trying to get better.

We went to the mall today to pick up some dog food from a non-profit store that we like to give business.  This mall is a good ways away from our house, but I think it’s worth.  Normally.  When we got there we decided to walk around for a while and get something to drink, do some window shopping.  I have a huge weakness for shoes and just had to look.  We are trying not to buy anything new right now, so I was just looking, however I was being mighty tempted.  I tried on a pair of shoes, really I wasn’t going to buy them, usually when I try on a pair I change my mind….and I did.  However, when I went to put the shoes back I had one of those “Oh shit, the world just moved much more than I did.” moments.  I immediately took some Valium and Phenergan and decided it was time to leave.  I did start to feel better on the way home but was in no way stable.

After we got home I hit the couch, and I’m still here.  I went to the bathroom and things went a little merry go roundish again.  So, I took some more meds and just had a Phenergan suppository too.  I’ve also had a horrible headache today.  I took a Maxalt (a migraine abortive) a little while ago, it eased it but didn’t take it away.  I’m afraid to take a pain pill, I’m afraid I’ll get dizzy since I’ve already taken 2 Valium.

I thought about taking the Diamox, the medication Dr. Gray gave me if my pressure went too high, but last time I took that it made things worse and I had horrible side effects from it.  I don’t want that to happen again.

Thank you all for the encouragement.  I do want to let you all know, I’m really not that stressed about this.  I’m not afraid of an attack coming on.  If it does it does.  I am afraid I’ve gone through all of this for nothing.  I am afraid I will have to suffer through the attacks and feeling awful for months before they will do anything else.  I wonder sometimes if I shouldn’t have just gone ahead and gotten the surgery on my left ear like I did my right.  At least it helped the vertigo.  But then I think.  How else would they learn if not for people like me, taking the chance to risk a different type of treatment?  It may not work for me, but it has worked for others.  And who knows it is still too early to tell, it may work for me too, it may just take a bit more tweaking.

On top of this I think my kidney stone my be moving.  My left side is hurting, just where the doctor told me it would, and I keep feeling like I’m going to explode if I don’t pee, but when I go in there I just get a few drops.  Hopefully, it will just settle back down and won’t decide to come out right now.  I really don’t need to deal with that right now.

Well, I’m really tired now and think I will rest some more.  Perhaps even just go to sleep.

I mainly just wanted to vent a little, and let everyone know I’m OK.   Thank you all for all the well wishes.

(My thinking is a little muddled right now, so I apologize if this post isn’t up to par.  Please forgive grammatical and spelling errors, or rambling.


One thought on “Here we go again.

  1. Hey,

    Vent away, it’s cathartic.

    I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, especially with the kidney stone maybe acting up. The only thing I would say is don’t ever be afraid of trying the treatments. It’s never a waste of time trying something that may help you. They may or may not ultimately work for you but what you are doing is being proactive. Sometimes it seems like things go at a snails pace and sometimes we have to wait for the next test or drug or treatment. It can become so easy to not do anything and be discouraged at what’s happening or not happening.

    And, keep telling the doctors you want to try something and for them to not wait as long. Is that an option or do they think they have to wait a certain amount of time after the treatment? I know I’m probably telling you stuff you already know and do when you see the doctors. But, that’s just me wanting to be helpful and encouraging, which I hope I’m doing.

    Well, after being interrupted 3 times while writing this, brain fog has kicked in and I’ve lost my train of thought. So, take care, rest and do good things for yourself.



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