Awake….still awake.

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I’ve started writing two posts in the past two days but feel like the words are all coming out jumbled, or I’m just rambling on.

I’m still having a difficult time sleeping.  So as I write this completely sleep deprived, please over look any errors….or stuff that just isn’t right.

I realize that I hate going to sleep.  I hate the process of falling asleep, I hate the dreaming, I hate the waking…

Ok…so I don’t really hate it, but I don’t have good feelings about any of it.  Most of the time when I’m falling asleep I get the sensation that I’m starting to have vertigo.  I’ll feel like I’m spinning and falling, and I’ll jerk awake, this happens over and over until I’m so shaken I just lie there with my eyes open staring at anything that is still and I know will not move.

I often have nightmares.  Some are just unsettling, some are very frightening, and many are so sad I wake up with tears running down my face.

More often than not lately I wake up with a migraine.  Some days I wake up feeling a bit spinny, but most days my head is killing me.

So with all of this, would you want to go to sleep?

How do I get over these fears?  How do I stop the sensations I get as I’m falling asleep?  How to I at least reduce the nightmares?  How can I ensure I won’t feel worse when I wake up?

Yeah, I don’t know either.

It’s nearly 5am.  We have guest arriving tomorrow around noon.  I need to sleep so I’ll be up when they get here.

A dear friend of mine is pregnant, unfortunately she is having complications.  She and her husband live on the coast, so they need to be as close to a good hospital with a Neonatal ICU (NICU).  The University of North Carolina’s hospital has one of the best NICU’s.  (or so I’ve been told)  Luckily, we live pretty close to UNC.  So friend and her hubby will be staying with us for a while.  She has preeclampsia, and high Cerebrospinal Fluid Pressure (I can relate with her there!)  Right now she’s heading into her 31st week, they are trying to get her to 37.   So they could be here for a while.  I’m glad, and nervous.

I don’t know a lot about pregnancies, especially not pregnancies with complications.

If anyone can answer some of these questions I’d appreciate it.

She’s on bed rest.  Do you think she can climb the stairs?  Unfortunately, we just found out that the shower in our guest bathroom is not working properly.  If a woman is on bed rest, can she take a shower?  Or does she need to have sponge baths?  We have a shower in our bathroom, but it’s not very big.  I even feel a bit cramped in there, I’m not sure if a very pregnant woman will feel comfortable in there.  The only other shower is downstairs.  Which do you think is the best option?

Do you know of anything I can do to make them more comfortable?

Since she’s on bed rest, does that mean she’ll need to stay in bed, or will she want to move to the couch during the day?  (another trip downstairs)  We only have one cable box, and right now we have it in our room, it’s been in here since my surgery.  However, we rarely watch it.  I’m thinking we could put it in their room.  I’ve ordered a book she’s been wanting, bought a magazine she likes, and some snacks I know are her favorites.

Luckily, I have dinner ready to go in the slow cooker in the morning, it’ll be done by late afternoon.  (Meatballs and Spaghetti sauce.  In the slow cooker, how cool is that?)   Oh crap, I just remembered, she’s lactose intolerant, and my meatballs have Parmesan cheese in them.  Well, I’ll have to think of something.

Any suggestions on how I can make things easier on the husband?  I know he has to be stressed, he hasn’t left her side for weeks.  He’s usually such a laid back guy, I just can’t imagine him really being stressed, but then I can’t imagine anyone not being stressed under these circumstances.

Stuart’s worried he will go crazy having people here for possibly 6 weeks.  (hopefully, 6 weeks, we do want that little baby boy to be as close to term as possible.)  He’s also afraid of the extra expense it’s going to be feeding two more people.  And now that I remembered she’s lactose intolerant, that throws a wrench in some of our normal meals.  (I really like cheese.)

So that’s what’s going on in my house right now.

I had much more to talk about, but these are the most important issues right now.

Oh sleep, perchance to dream….but please be good dreams.