“Balancing” gesture drawing by wendy holcombe
Your vestibular system is the ear part of how you balance. You balance with your ears, eyes, and your body/feet. My vestibular system doesn’t work so good, so vestibular therapy is going to teach me how to balance more with my eyes and feet.
When going into vestibular rehabilitation physical therapy last Thursday I had no idea what to expect, and to tell the truth I don’t have any idea what to expect at my next appointment, but I know it won’t be easy.
Ryan is my therapist (I may see another therapist at some point, there are 2 vestibular therapist there, but I would prefer to keep seeing Ryan, because I can hear him pretty well, and he is understanding about how to talk to me so it is easier for me to understand him), I’m impressed with him so far…very impressed. I’ve never had anyone be so aware of my condition and so understanding. No one.
He did a number of tests on me, said some things we need to work on…like the fact that my ankles don’t bend far enough. Ankle flexibility and strength seem to be very important. Of course that makes perfect sense when a huge part of your balance comes from your feet.
I told him my experience of having BPPV for 11 days this past summer but by the time I got in to see the doctor it stopped the day before, the doctor didn’t want mess with it then for fear of starting it again, so they didn’t actually do the test. I explained that since then I’ve had trouble turning over in bed, and at other times, but I’ve been tested twice since then and it was negative. He tested me…it was positive…it was slight, but it was there, he also listened to me about when the symptoms started, he didn’t just look at my eyes and when it didn’t start jumping around immediately say, you don’t have BPPV. He really listened and payed attention. He then did the Epley Maneuver on me and I feel so much better. (I want to note here that the Epley Maneuver does not treat every type of BPPV.) I will probably need to be treated again, but not being jarred awake by spins when I turn over is wonderful. I get a tiny bit now and then, but it doesn’t wake me up. Happy Dance!
There was a point in the test where he had me stand and close my eyes..I was VERY nervous….meaning inside I was freaking out, he asked me to take a step and I…well I just couldn’t! He encouraged me and told he he had me and I wouldn’t fall (in my mind I thought, “yeah, this little guy is going to catch this big old woman…in his dreams!”. Out loud I broke into tears and said, “I don’t do the dark.” I should have explained, I’m not really that afraid of falling, yeah I might get hurt, but that isn’t nearly as scary to me as the vertigo, and the dark can trigger vertigo…I don’t do dark.
My anxiety is so high. That is so not a good thing. Anxiety can cause vertigo. Vertigo causes anxiety. There’s a bit of a Catch 22 there isn’t it? I have noticed I do not like it when someone says that I’m anxious. (Yep, he said that) I get defensive. I want to scream, “If you had this would you not react like I am?” I feel like being anxious is a negative thing, therefore they are telling me that I’m not dealing with this as well as I could. I know I’m much more anxious than I used to be, panic mode, almost constant fear…it’s hard, really hard. (No, I have not been keeping up my mindfulness practice, and yes I started meditating again this week.)
It was a fairly long intake appointment, all the testing, background questions….he was surprised I hadn’t had this kind of therapy before. That’s because, most of the people he sees have not been living with a vestibular disorder for this many years before getting vestibular therapy for the first time. *scrunchy face*
He warned me that this isn’t going to be easy, that I will probably be nauseous a lot, but if I can hang in there it can really help.
My homework…when I got there he noticed that I don’t move my head much when I walk, so my homework has been to look around. Open my visual range, turning my head. Of course, always using my walker.
I had a pretty big vertigo attack that started on the way home, and I felt horrible the whole next day. I even fell down, I’ve only fallen once since my hip replacement until now. (Really I kind of slid down the wall, I felt myself getting really bad, so instead of trying to race to a chair or something, I leaned on the wall and just slid down. I’ve found that to be pretty safe.)
I’m trying to do my homework and look around, but it’s hard, moving my head really makes me sick.
I go back on Thursday, yep tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes.
He wanted to see me twice a week, but we asked if I could go once a week with homework. Hubby has to take me everywhere and I’m trying to reduce the amount of appointments. His work hours can be flexible, but it’s much better if he works somewhat normal hours, and I don’t want to exhaust my poor husband, being a caregiver is hard. Ryan said that he would give me plenty of homework!