On Tuesday I will be receiving 6th, Lumbar Puncture. I know it’s not a big procedure. It doesn’t really hurt. But I’m so scared.
After the first LP, they thought they knew what was wrong with me. Low CSF pressure caused by spinal fluid leaks. Simple diagnosis, treatment hasn’t been as simple…I keep getting leaks. So now. as I mentioned before, we are facing a possible new diagnosis. (Intercranial Hypertension with Spontaneous CSF leaks) From what I understand, even harder to treat. The meds that are supposed to help, well, I’ve been taking them and either the side-effects are too much, or I don’t see where they are doing anything.
A possible shunt has been mentioned. (I don’t even want to think about that right now, but I know it’s a real possibility.)
I have such conflicting emotions right now. I feel emotionally stronger in many ways, and in other ways, I’m scared out of my wits.
The art has been helping me so much! There is a possibility I may have a small show in the next 6 months or so. Something to really work towards.
I have finally come to terms with the fact that many of my friends are simply not going to be there for us. But we have some good neighbors who proved recently that they can be relied upon. It’s hard to explain, but I’m better about it. Not as hurt…finding out who are really important to me.
So, back to the fear. What am I really afraid of? I think I’m mostly afraid of an iffy diagnosis. One of those, “Well, we know what it’s not….”
That’s where my head is tonight.
I’ll leave you with this drawing I did the other night. I was trying to sleep…all of sudden the idea of this came to me..I had to draw it!
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