Every Saturday we try to go to the Durham Farmer’s Market. And every Saturday morning as we are getting ready, I say something and Stuart thinks I’m being mean to him. We end up being snappy to one another, and it starts that way….I hate it. Finally, I realized today that I get very anxious about getting up and going anywhere, and it’s not just when we are going to the Farmer’s Market it’s anywhere. It’s just very noticeable on Saturdays because we do this every Saturday.
I was being a bitch. I snap, and I’m snarky, and I am simply not the nicest of people. But it really has nothing to do with Stuart. First, I’ve gained so much weight, I find it hard for me to get ready and feel comfortable (read *pretty* here). What woman does not get bitchy when she’s feeling like that?
Then I start to get more and more anxious about being out and about and what if something happens. When we are home an attack is much easier to stop, or at least make it much easier. But when we are out and about, it’s much harder. What if I collapse? What if we have to leave some place in a hurry? There have been a few times we’ve had to leave a restaurant, just leave, the food hadn’t arrived, I was getting sick, and we had to leave NOW. It’s so hard to explain, no we don’t have time for you to put the food in a to go box, here, we will pay you for it, but we have to leave now. (besides I would not be able to stand smelling the food in the car all the way home.) People look at you so funny, because all of a sudden I’m walking like I’m drunk and I can’t stand up by myself, and I wasn’t drunk a few minutes ago. I can’t imagine what they must think after we leave. We try to say, “She has vertigo, she’s getting very sick, very fast, we have to leave. But how can they understand?
So now I understand. I’m anxious about leaving the house, and it comes across as me being grumpy. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I’m hoping he will get mad and say, “Well we just won’t go then.” But instead he told me that I could go by myself. Oh my, the terror that went through me. But you know what? I was going to do it. Just because I got so mad that he said that to me. And how dangerous would that have been? Dumb, Dumb, Dumb. (well, today, I’ve had a pretty good day, so I would probably have been fine, but still, it wouldn’t have been smart….what if…)
Deep Breath Here! I calmed down and talked with Stuart. I apologized. He apologized. And I realized what was really going on with me. It was a very nice talk, and I hope we can deal with it better in the future now that we know what was (or may be) causing it.
So, off to the Farmer’s Market we went. We got there, walked in, hit 3 vendors and said, “It is too dang cold out here!” And we left. We came away with a bag of Sun Chokes (also known as Jerusalem Artichokes), some green onions, a bag of mixed winter greens, and some baby turnips. Not enough veggies for the week, but it was in the 20’s this morning and we all know I’m not a cold natured person…well, neither is my husband. I’ve never tried Sun Chokes before, but I like trying new things. I’ll let you know what I decide to do with them.
We then tried to go get breakfast but the breakfast places were way too busy, so we decided to have lunch at the steak house. Yes, steak for breakfast. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it wasn’t bad.
We left there and decided to drop by the mall to walk off some of that meal. I was so bloated and miserable. After our walk we came home and I realized my keys were missing. (I keep them attached to my purse with a carabiner type hook.) The hook was there, but the keys were gone. I felt like such a fool. Stuart called the mall, nope, no one had turned in any keys. I knew I had them at the steak place because I opened the car door with them. Stuart still called them, and yep, they were there. How lucky was that. Guess I’ll figure out a different way to carry my keys. Perhaps a carabiner hook that screw locks, I’ll have to go look at them. All I know is, I’m lucky today.
We also took a trip to the huge thrift store! We bought a pretty blue bowl, 2 small sushi plates with small sauce bowls and 2 place mats. All for $3.25! How cool is that? I decided I wanted some cuter dishes take pictures of my food for my cooking blog, so it doesn’t matter if I have a set that matches or anything.
We made Spaghetti Sauce tonight. (see my pretty new bowl and place mat?)
Spaghetti Sauce with Al Fresco Roasted Garlic Sausage
- 1 medium to large onion chopped
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 3 teaspoons Italian Seasoning (I didn’t really measure, I just sprinkled it in there until it looked right. I’ve been making this for a long time.)
- 2-3 large cloves of garlic minced or chopped what ever is easier for you. (about 2-3 teaspoons)
- 1 28oz can Tomato Puree or chopped tomatoes
- 1 package Al Fresco Roasted Garlic Chicken Sausage
heat olive oil in sauce pan over medium high heat. Sautee onions until translucent. Add Italian Seasoning stir for just a second(this will release the oils in the dried herbs. Add garlic and tomato puree, heat thoroughly.
Cut up sausage in slices that look like round discs. Brown sausage in a separate pan. (I guess you could do it in the sauce pan before you add the onion, but I didn’t think about it.) Add the sausage to the sauce, and heat thoroughly. Simmer for as long as you want, the longer it simmers the more the flavors will meld together.
*hint, to quickly clean the pan you cooked the sausage in, immediately add water to the hot pan and scrape the brown bits off. Then pour this out (the chicken sausage doesn’t have much oil, so there is no oil to pour out), add soap to the pan and swish with a cloth, and rinse. Voila, it’s clean. (If it doesn’t come clean just add a little baking soda and the last of the brown stuff should come out.)
Serve sauce over noodles of choice (we used Tinkyada Gluten-Free Noodles) with shaved Parmesan cheese on top if desired.
That was most of my Saturday.
Do you get anxious about going places? Especially if you’ve been having a lot of attacks recently? Do you find yourself not being so very nice sometimes, and not really knowing why?
Picnic with Ants 
Wendy,
That sausage had a crazy amount of sodium in it! Are you not affected by sodium in food? I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance the last time I ate sausage! Your recipe looks amazing though. Will try it for my family but will leave the sausage out for me!
Hope you are well,
Deb
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I don’t have that big of a problem with sodium I think it’s because my pressure is low. But Dr. Kaylie told me to make sure I get 1500mg a day. He said I wasn’t getting enough. I used to try to keep it between 500 and 1000mg/day, but he said that was too low. Still, I usually don’t get but about 1000 – 1200mg/day.
About the sausage though: There is 480mg of sodium in 1 link of the sausage, but I don’t usually get but about 1/2 of a link (or less), and there isn’t any sodium in anything else in the sauce except for the natural amount in tomatoes. (the brand I used had 20mg per 1/4 cup serving, no salt added.) So that’s 280 mg of sodium per serving, assuming 1/2 cup serving. Of course, you will have to add in the sodium for the pasta.
But no this doesn’t bother me at all.
Do you ever eat out? The sodium in most restaurant food is scary. I try to drink a lot of water before hand, then drink a bunch afterward, it seems to help dilute the sodium and flush it out faster. Of course, I also try to look up the sodium content of what I’m eating, but sometimes you can’t, like at a local place.
I used to be so very careful with my sodium, and usually I don’t get much, because frankly, I’ve lost the taste for salt. But it really doesn’t seem to help me. I don’t know if it’s because of the low pressure, or because of the hole in my head where the sacs have room to get bigger (at least in my right ear.)
Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you with the sodium count.
wendy
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Oh, forgot to say that the dish it is displayed on is fabulous!!! Good buy! Are these the ones you purchased recently? 🙂
D
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Oh, yes, that is one of the new dishes I bought at the thrift store, and the new place mats. (the place mats are Crate and Barrel and I paid $.25 each for them. They looked like they had a couple of stains but they scratched right off.
We are doing so good at our “not buying anything new” resolution. The only thing we bought new in January, other than food and such, was a new pillow for me. I couldn’t see getting a used pillow, and mine was shot. : )
Thanks for noticing!
On another note, whenever you’ve had to go to the hospital for a Meniere’s attack what do they do? I went once last year, only because I was hallucinating, it was a strange attack. But they didn’t do anything there that we couldn’t do at home. I was so disappointed. They watched me, pumped me full of anti-throw up stuff. (at one point the doctor told me that if they gave an elephant as much medicine as they gave me he’d be out, and I was still throwing up.) Finally, the attack subsided and we came home.
Just wondered if they did a better job where you are?
w
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When I have gone to the hospital they usually rehydrate me intravenously and give me strong anti-nausients intravenously to try to stop my vomiting. I must admit though, that at my most recent visit, they did squat. They poured me into a wheel chair out of the ambulance then I continued to vomit in the waiting room for hours. I finally started feeling better on my own so my husband just took me home. I am usually convulsing by the time my husband takes me in, but this time I managed to get under control again. That was August and I haven’t been back. Keep your fingers crossed that I won’t be taking that route again!
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I have to say, I think Stuart and I take better control of it now that they did at the hospital. They just keep looking at me like, “why are you still throwing up?” And it’s so hard to find a vein on me, especially when I’m dehydrated. The first time I went to the hospital, before we knew what was wrong, I had been throwing up for 12 hours. They never found a vein, I remember screaming at the guy as he was trying for a vein in my ankle, “I DON’T LIKE YOU!”. (I apologized later. I’m sure he didn’t care.) But I finally stopped throwing up and was keeping fluids down. So they made me drink and drink and drink until I could pee at least twice. (that was a total of 14 or was it 16 hours…I’m not sure) That was the first time I heard the words Meniere’s, I had a great ER doctor. He said I might have calcium deposits in my ear, or I could have something as severe as Meniere’s so I needed to have it checked out. And I remember thinking, not only are you smart, and nice, but you are the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. I think I had an angel complex going on him. LOL. Stuart and I were dating then…and he still married me. What a man!
I seriously hope neither of us ever have to go back to the ER. For anything. w
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You should be very, very thankful that I can’t just reach through my screen and take that bowl. That picture just made me sigh as I’ve been having these small cravings for spaghetti and meat sauce lately. And I would keep the bowl, too! Nice buys.
I always get anxious if I have to go somewhere, especially if it’s to an appointment and I know I have to sit around for a while if they are running behind. I could be feeling fine beforehand, but the anxiety and fear still kicks in.
I know for me it’s usually the same emotions. Anxiety and the fear that something may happen, something that I can’t control. And I think that’s probably the worst part, the lack of control. We want to be able to just go and do things and not have to worry about what may or may not happen.
It’s also different for us because we’re dealing with an invisible illness, we’re aware that we look normal and I know I’ve become more sensitive to the judging of appearances and assumptions that can take place. Some days I deal with things very well, other days, not so much. The balancing act, pun intended, is hard sometimes and made worse because we humans are emotional to begin with.
Well, tonight it’s pork tenderloin, veggies and rice pudding and my alarm for the roast just went off. (I’m still coveting your meal, though. Yummm!)
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I will have to say….it tasted as good as it looked. *snicker* Your dinner just sounded so darn good I had to say that.
And today I put a chicken in the slow cooker to roast, and it didn’t get done before we were past the point of just having to have dinner, so my husband went and picked up Mexican. Well El Salvadoran really. I have this thing for Pupusas with Curtido. (they are just a corn pancake stuffed with beans and served with this slightly fermented slaw) but I love it. I should say there can be many different kinds of Pupusas, but I like the bean or cheese. (the Curtido probably has too much sodium, but you don’t use a lot.)
I guess we will be having Roast Chicken tomorrow. I also bought sunchokes at the farmer’s market yesterday and I’m dying to do something with those. (it will be the first time I’ve made them.)
Thanks for the compliment on the good buy. The bowl really did set off the picture!
And thank you for your perspective on the anxiety. I really didn’t realize mine was so bad. I didn’t understand why I was getting so aggravated nearly every time before we left to go somewhere.
w
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