I woke up yesterday and my hearing was down.  I thought, well, here we go again.

Today, has been a pretty bad day.

I got up, still can’t hear as well, felt off-balance; and as usual as soon as I woke up I was off to the bathroom, the diarrhea starting all ready.  (I must say though that for the past couple of days things have been better on that front.)  Not today.

I ate breakfast.  Decided I’d look work on some photos on Photoshop.  All of a sudden I had to RUN to the bathroom, and as you may have guessed, I didn’t quite make it.  I’m so grossed out by this.  What if I had been out in public?

Shortly after this I could feel a vertigo attack coming on.  I quickly took some Valium, and Phenergan.  I even decided to not wait and took a Phenergan suppository too.  I tried to stay calm, but this

is driving me crazy.  At least one attack per week, I just want it to end.  I asked Stuart to call Dr. Kaylie’s office and tell him that I am going to kill myself if they don’t do something soon.  Of course, Dr. Kaylie is out of the clinic this week.  I realize that everyone deserves some time off, but why does everyone seem to think that the world stops this time of year?  I am just so miserable, and all of my doctors are on vacation.  *sigh*  I’m sure they will take care of things as soon as they can as soon as they get back.  Yes, I could see the doctor on call, but that really wouldn’t do any good.  He wouldn’t be able to do a spinal tap, or set up surgery.  So I wait…

After a little while the vomiting still hadn’t started, but I was still feeling very bad.  We decided that I would get another suppository, and take another Valium.  I usually don’t take them so close together (it was about an hour and a half since I took the first round.)  But I’m glad I did.  Things really started calming down.  I even feel almost normal now.  Thank goodness.  I’m still a bit off-balance, but nothing I can’t handle.

I’m getting so tired of feeling sick and tired.

I can’t exercise.  I’ve gained so much weight since this diarrhea started.

Look at these two pictures.

Can you see how much weight I’ve gained?  Just look at my face.  I know it’s a little hard to tell in the top picture, but it’s the best one I have of me right now.  I must say, I’m kind of avoiding the camera.  I hate to even look in the mirror.  I gained the majority of this weight in 2 months, when the diarrhea first started.  30+ pounds.

I have enough to worry about without having to worry about this too.  It’s just so depressing.

Don’t worry, I haven’t given up.  I do believe something can be done, but I’m just tired of waiting for that something.