Ok, can you guess where I spent from 9:10pm to about 1:00am last night?
You may have guessed, “A great Halloween Party?”, or possibly “Sound asleep in your comfy bed?”, or maybe even “Having Wild Monkey Love with your hubby?” Well all of those would be wrong. Darn it! The Wile Monkey Love sounded kinda interesting.
I was at:
At 8:45pm last night, after giving out candy and other treats to over 30 some odd trick-or-treaters, I sat down in my living room and I started feeling funny. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. When I tried to take my pulse my heart was beating so fast I couldn’t count it. I couldn’t take a deep breath without excruciating pain. It hurt all up my jaw line on both sides of my face, and the tightness in my chest was nearly unbearable. So my dear husband rushes me to the emergency room. I wouldn’t let him call an ambulance, because it cost too much. Of course, about the time we get there I’m feeling much better.
(I should put in that I have had these episodes before, but this one lasted much longer than the others have. They don’t happen very often. My doctor had me wear a heart monitor for a week and, of course, it didn’t happen. I did have some times when my heart would flutter, but she said most people have that happen, usually they don’t even notice.)
My heart was still a bit fast when they hooked me up to the heart monitor, about 120 beats per minute. Now I usually have a fairly high heart rate, it’s usually in the high 80’s and into the 90’s, occasionally it’s even been a little over 100 when I’ve been to see the doctor, but only when I was too hot and too nervous. My blood pressure was a little high too, which is surprising because my blood pressure is usually on the low side.
So they had to take lab work. This is much easier said than done on me sometimes. The poor nurses could not find a good vein. They finally got an IV started in my right inner wrist. Let me tell you, that is a very painful place to have someone stick you. I said words I try very hard not to say, especially when someone is only trying to help me. But, oh my goodness, that did hurt.
Of course, then the world started to spin. They didn’t like it at all that my husband gave me a Valium right then, instead of waiting for them to order one from their pharmacy and giving it to me themselves. We explained by the time it came I would be having total vertigo with vomiting and it wouldn’t stop until it ran its course. They decided they really didn’t want to deal with that too.
All of my blood work came back normal. My heart was beating a little fast while I was there, but it had a steady rhythm. After they gave me a bag of fluids, my heart rate came down a little. Probably, because it was so cold. So after being poked and prodded once again, the doctors come in and tell me that they found nothing wrong. All of my blood work came back normal. Everything was just find.
My diagnosis? 1. Chest pain (Unspecified) 2. Tachycardia (Unspecified)
It appears that some people have an abnormally rapid heart rate (Tachycardia) occasionally for no known reason. If it last for a long period of time it can be very dangerous, but if you just have it happen now and then, it’s not supposed to be a big deal. Especially, since I don’t have any of the other risk factors for heart problems.
Then she gave me a prescription for anti-reflux medication. This makes no sense to me. If they don’t think I was having heartburn why give me a prescription for a drug to prevent it? I think most people think doctors have to give them a prescription and so they just hand them out. I told her, I don’t take anti-heartburn or reflux medications. I think the risk from the side effects are simply too high. If I have a little indigestion I eat something that is alkaline and that takes care of it.
So I left the ER with these instructions:
“Make a follow-up appointment with your regular doctor within 3-5 days.” Well, I have a Lumbar Puncture scheduled for Wednesday, and I see the Digestive Health Specialist (I’m not sure why.) on Friday. Oh, and I go to see my ear doctor on Monday. When is my husband supposed to take another few hours off work to take me to the doctor for a follow-up from this ER visit that showed nothing?
Emmmm. Can we hear the negativity in my voice?
I try, I try so hard to keep a positive attitude, but sometimes, it just isn’t there.
Today is one of those days.
Warning, I’m having a very hard day today and the following is a harsh view into how I’m feeling.
I fixed breakfast for me and my husband. Then I told him, in no uncertain terms, “I’m in a foul mood today, and just want everyone to leave me the f*** alone.” He said, “OK?”, and I apologized, and told him I just wanted him to be warned that I was not a happy person today. I’m a very lucky woman who has a husband who can hear me say something like that and take no offense, and I think he may even slightly understand sometimes.
We often think about what Meniere’s does to the person who has it, but we don’t look at what it does to the people who love them.
I’ve had attacks start when I was with friends of mine. I’ve seen the fear in their eyes. They pity me. But more than that, they are afraid of me. They try hard not to show it, and for the ones who haven’t seen an attack start, I think many of them think I just want attention. That I’m always sick. I’m certainly not the friend I used to be.
Then there’s my husband. He is so tied to me. I depend on him so much for everything. He has to take care of everything when I can’t. He has to take care of me. I can fall apart, but he has to be the rock for me to lean on. I feel that I have become an emotional and financial burden. Sometimes, I think the most loving thing I could do for him would be to leave. He says I’m wrong, that he is a better person because of me. All I see is how much I drain everything from him.