I thought I was feeling better today.  I woke up ready to face the day.  I got up and started making pancakes, after about 4 I realized I hadn’t put an egg in the mix.  Yuck.  I tell you my husband will eat anything.  Burnt?  He loves it.  Ingredients left out?  He doesn’t really notice.  (Sometimes it makes me wonder if I really am a good cook.)  : )

So I started my pancakes over, of course I can’t make just 2 so there are 4 in the refrigerator for later.  Luckily, they are good warmed up.

Then I settled down to read a little email, and look up something I was wondering about on the internet.  I was reading an email from a good friend when all of a sudden the words moved.  Well, here we go again.

The attack right now is really hard for me because I love Halloween.  But now it seems there will be no Jack-O-Lantern carved, no costume, no party.  I’ll be lucky if I get my traditional treat bags ready to give to my trick-or-treaters.  Kids love coming to our house, we usually have the front all decorated, we are in costume, and I give out treat bags full of goodies like spider rings, crayons, Halloween themed coloring pages, glow sticks….  Fun things they can play with and if they have a food allergy no worries.  We also have a tub of candy for them to choose from, but if they can’t have some of it they don’t feel left out.  I remember wondering if they really appreciated the little treat bags, then a little boy came to our house and I gave him his treats, he turned to his mother and screamed, “MOM! I got a bag!”  That made it all worth it.

We’ve had a party at our house the past 2 years, but friends of ours got a new house and they wanted to have the party there this year.  I guess it’s for the best since I’m feeling so out of it.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to even attend this year.  Oh well, we always have next year!

Today on Fleetly Dreaming’s Blog by Nicki, she asks “What CAN you do?”  She challenges us to stop thinking about what we can’t do because of Meniere’s, but think about what it is we still can do.  I decided to take the challenge and list  some of the things that I CAN do, and things I’m grateful for.

  1. I’m grateful that I have such a wonderful doctor who wants to help me live as normal as possible, and who isn’t satisfied with just treating Meniere’s, but he also wants to find the cause.  (Thank you Dr. Kaylie, thanks to you, I CAN have hope.)
  2. I CAN still keep in touch with my friends and family because of  the wonderful world of the internet.
  3. I CAN still hear, something.  That is better than living in complete silence.  (Sometimes it’s much better than others.)
  4. I may not always be able to hear my husband when he enters a room, even if he’s talking to me, but I CAN hear him tell me he loves me.  (He just has to look me straight in the face, and speak loudly.)
  5. I CAN hear much more during my bad episodes since I bought one of those little ear amplifiers that look like a blue tooth.  It’s not perfect, but at least I can hear something.
  6. Some days I CAN hear out of my left ear.  I’m very grateful for those days.  I CAN still hear the birds, I CAN hear water flowing, I CAN hear my friends talking to me on the phone…
  7. Some days I CAN keep my balance.   I’m very grateful for those days.  On those days I CAN cook,  go for a walk, dance with my husband, laugh so hard it hurts, play with my dog and cat, and simply enjoy life.
  8. I CAN still be creative.  Not every day, but some days I CAN work in my studio, I CAN paint, draw, take pictures and even work in my fused glass studio.
  9. On days I can’t work in my studio, I CAN often still work on the computer.   I can write, and even draw thanks to a great friend for giving me Photoshop.
  10. Even on my bad days I CAN usually cuddle with my dog, and cat.  They always seem to know when I’m not feeling well and will pay me much more attention.
  11. On the days when all I can do is throw up, I CAN still be grateful to my wonderful husband that I don’t have to go through this alone.

Thank you to Nicki, for making me remember all the things I CAN still do, and many of the things I’m grateful for.

I did get out and do some things today.  My husband took half a day off so we loaded up the Element with things to go to charity.  We dropped those off by the mission, and then had lunch out.  We picked up things at Petco for Sandy and Max.  Picked up a prescription for me (no not at the same place), and headed home.

I was pretty tired after all that so my husband started dinner.  He warmed up  some mariana sauce and put on a pot of Tinkyada noodles.  While the noodles were cooking I decided we needed more vegetables.

I cut up some zucchini, and some collard greens then sautéed them up with grape seed oil and garlic with a splash of balsamic vinegar at the end to deglaze the pan. I’ve never really eaten collard greens cooked any way but the old Southern way of boiling them with fat back and then seasoning them with vinegar.  Sauteing them was so much better.


One thought on “What?

  1. Susanna

    I like your list of what you CAN do. It´s very hard to change your thinking and your feelings and leave the CANNOT:s. And on the worst days I find it totally impossible to be positive. But better days I can really enjoy small things which I in my pre-Menièrelife took for granted. It is a great feeling to be able to take a walk by yourself, to play with the dog, to go to see friends and relatives, to go by bus on your own when you earlier have been tied to your home. Tied to because of your illness but also of fear and anxiety.


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