I can type again

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

When last we spoke I was hurting too much to type. I’m happy to say that I can type again! I’m not sure I have too much to say, but at least I can type. I’m going to try to be brief here, just letting you guys know that I’m okay, and I’ll try to post more often.

For the past few months I’ve been consumed by the nerve pain going down my arms and bursting out of my hands. The pain also traveled down my back, in between my shoulder blades. I’ve had a lot of pain in my life, but this nerve pain has, by far, been the worst. I believe in accepting what comes and being okay with it. Everything changes, you just need to go with it. This pain I could not accept, and that hurt me as a person. I couldn’t accept what was happening to me, the pain was just too great. I have a much deeper understanding of what severe pain can do to you. I saw what it was doing to me, and I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t change it. How can anyone accept feeling like their hands are on fire from the inside out, every morning! I would scream with pain. I made bargains, if it would just stop I promised I’d be a better person…ect. I have never wished to die so often, and I’m not depressed. Can you imagine how messed up I’d be if I was going through this with depression? I can’t even imagine.

I was in physical therapy in January, and it seemed to be working, then I had a set back and we kind of started over. Then I felt like I was getting better, then I hit a wall and crashed. Every time we tried adding any strength training all my symptoms would return. It has been hell so far this year….but it’s getting better.

Last Monday I finally got an epidural in my neck and trigger point injections through my trapezius on both sides. I cannot express enough how this has changed my life! I’m no longer afraid to go to sleep for fear of what will happen when I wake up. I’m sleeping more than 4 hours a night. I actually slept for 10 hours one day this week! I think I’m still catching up on sleep.

Migraines are still here. Both my physical therapist and my pain management doctor think that my migraines may be so much worse because of my neck. The last two days I’ve had a very intense migraine. That’s really hard when you don’t have a rescue med that works and Medicare won’t pay for the only one that does. I don’t have thousands of dollars to spend on medication each month. So I’ll live with the pain, for now. The pain changes from day to day, hour to hour, it’s often just in the background, but when it climbs too high, I really notice. But that’s the thing, yes I’m in pain all the time, but it is constantly changing, that gives me hope. Everything changes.

Okay that’s it for today. I promise I’ll try to be back soon. I have lots of migraine stuff I want to share with you all.

How is everyone? I really want to know.

14 thoughts on “I can type again

  1. I am so glad to hear the shots helped. Nerve pain is really enough to cross your eyes. I get lots of different types of pain in similar ways to what you describe and the nerve pain is really what stops me in my tracks.
    Sending you lots of love and hope and healing energies, my friend! One type of pain managed, time to banish those migraines! gentle hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much ❤️ it m and so much to me to know I have people all over who care about me. It warms my heart.
      How’s your ankle? I know you don’t know if you have to have surgery yet, I hope not, but how is the pain?
      Love and hugs my friend. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s slowly healing….ish. 3 weeks in and it’s still swollen and every color of the rainbow! My ortho doc said most people sprain one side of the their ankle “but you managed to get both!” It’ll be 3 more weeks before I know if I need surgery, but I’m thinking I probably will. I somehow did more damage than when I fell down the stairs!
        Love & hugs, sweetness! I’m so happy the shots have helped your pain!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh ugh! That sounds awful!
          I broke mt foot, twice, accidentally kicking my walker. One they thought they’d have to operate because it was a spiral fracture, but nope, it healed well. I hope that is the case with your ankle.
          May you heal faster and with less pain than anticipated.
          xoxo💕

          Like

  2. So glad to read that you can type again, breathe again, hope again, think again. I don’t think I’d have made it through what you just did, Warrior Princess Extraordinaire Wendy! I can’t imagine what these last few months have been like for you.
    My sil had surgery last week for her neck-originating neck pain; no relief yet — the surgeon did a lot of work — she’s had neck/spine issues for years. But, she did say the electric shocks don’t come so often.
    I hope the migraine pain improves, too. That always sucks when medication is priced out of reach, and not covered by insurance (in my case; medicare in yours).
    I did finally send you an email earlier this week — weird things continue to happen. I’ll have to update the update, lol.
    So extremely gentle hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I saw the email last night😊
      I feel so bad about Cathy.
      I know you feel helpless.
      Took me days to write that post, and I’m finally able to write reviews. That’s been rough.
      I have a UTI right now, so I’m sleeping as much as possible.
      I’ll write you soon. Love you.

      Like

  3. Rita McGregor

    So very sorry to hear about the nerve pain. I’m glad the shots have given you some relief. Hope it lasts and lasts.

    How am I? Got my first vaccine shot! I was feeling cruddy for almost a week and then draggy after that. Get the second one March 19th. I’ll plan to be in jammies for a week but I am thrilled to be getting them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’d be lost if I couldn’t type. I do get pain from arthritis but that nerve pain is horrid. I’m so grateful you’ve found relief. Sometimes I wish I could sleep long hours. The older I get it seems the more tired. Here’s to a better tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So, so happy you have some relief. Change is the great constant in life, isn’t it. Hoping something works that will help with strength training.

    As for me, I bought a Samsung smart watch at an auction so I have been using it to help get my stamina back up. Tried a fitbit a few years ago and had to send it back. Would make sure it was on properly, start walking and it would not show my heart rate sometimes. Wondered if I had turned into a zombie or vampire and didn’t realise it. 😁

    Also started a new book about how girls and women are not diagnosed with ADHD because we don’t show the stereotypical symptoms. Almost 40 pages in and guess who is going yes, uh huh, I was like that and highlighting a bunch of stuff? Very interesting read.

    Gentle hugs to you and Stuart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! You’ve been busy.
      ADHD huh. Does knowing make it easier? S has ADD, he takes meds for it. He was diagnosed really late because he had different symptoms.
      He zones out. He will get so focused he hears nothing else. It’s frustrating for me if it happens. But I understand.
      And I know I’m very frustrating to him. 😆
      So good to hear from you.
      I over did it yesterday.
      Today is self care.

      Love and hugs to you and G. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s just weird right now. Reading and highlighting so I can take the info to the doctor. Always felt different and while not abnormal, not normal, if that makes sense. Was really shy and withdrawn (other symptoms make this worse) as a child, had report cards that said I would daydream for a while till used to being back in school, if only I applied myself, can really easily zone out during a conversation.

        Going to take my time, highlight and make notes about what I remember about how things were/are with me. Not feeling overwhelmed while reading it or wish that I could have been diagnosed earlier. If I do have it, it will just help explain things.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh Wendy, I’m so sorry for all the hell you’ve been through. “This pain I could not accept, and that hurt me as a person.” < It’s no easy feat to come to a point of acceptance with something like this at all. The constant fight against it is exhausting though, but it also I think can help you keep going, keep moving forward.

    I don’t want to make this all about me but what you’ve written about your neck and the pain down your arm etc struck me. Long story short, I’m paying for physio as my body is mangled and I didn’t realise essentially being bedbound because I can’t sit in a normal chair has caused it. Some muscles have become too weak, then others (scapulae) have become hugely inflamed and knotted. The physio started to work some of this out and said he thinks that’s partly to blame for the morning migraines 5 mornings a week (not necessarily the migraines in the day though). My shoulders were – and still are as my first physio session was only last week – popping up. If I put my hand down, like to reach for shampoo in the shower, it felt like my hand was going to explode. The problems with the muscles led to my shoulder subluxing, muscles under my ribs pulling up and squashing my lungs, things weird heaviness and hollowness under my arms and down my sides, affecting my breathing and sleep. It also led to clavical outlet syndrome with tapped nerves, veins and muscles. I’m not sure if any of this is similar with you but just wanted to share just in case.

    Sending gentle hugs.
    Caz xxxx

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