Recap. Let’s see, when last I left off we planned to go to Charleston, SC in September for our anniversary; there was a possibility we might have to move; and I was getting a hair cut. Turns out none of those things are happening or happened.
Trip. After researching a trip to Charleston it just didn’t seem like the smartest thing to do this year. The trip was going to cost us more than twice what we had originally budgeted for our trip to New Mexico, I’ve been to Charleston hundreds of times, Stuart really has little desire to visit there, we weren’t going to be able to see as many people as we’d like and still have a romantic trip…there were just too many things that said this was not the trip for us. We decided it would be best to take a second trip to specifically visit with family and friends, and we are going back to our original plans of going to Albuquerque and Santa Fe to celebrate our 15th anniversary.
Move. I’m relieved to say that we do not have to move, our landlords have decided not to sell the house right now. The house has a pool and the best time to sell is during the summer, there are a few things they want to do to the house before selling it and they wouldn’t have been able to get it done in time to get it one the market for the pool season, so they have decided to wait. That is a huge relief. Soon we’ll be house hunting. That can be fun, and or ahhhh. Hopefully, it won’t take long to find the perfect home for us.
Hair I ended up not getting my hair cut. It ended up being a not so good day and I just couldn’t go. I had been up most of the night with nausea, and when I don’t sleep the next day is precarious. I haven’t made a new appointment yet. I have a case of the nerves about it now. As much as my long hair is hard to wash and gets everywhere, it is very easy to just throw it in a pony tail, and I’m used to it. I think I’m a creature of habit. What if I really mess it up? When I was younger I’d think, “It’s hair, it will grow back” Now, my hair is much thinner, and I’m not too sure it will grow back. Damn I’m old. hahahah
Migraines. I’ve been on the new migraine preventative, Emgality, for a month now. I was told not to expect a reduction in migraines the first month. I talked with others and most on the boards noticed some difference. Here’s my experience:
In February I had NO migraine free days and took medication for 10 days (the maximum number of days allowed) . In March I had 2 migraine free days and took medication for 10 days. This month, I had 5 migraine free days, and I’ve taken meds for 7 days. This may not sound like much of a reduction, but I haven’t had 5 migraine free days in a month in as long as l can remember. My maximum free is normally 2, and I always take the medication for the maximum allowed number of days. This week I actually reached for a rescue med at the first sign of a migraine, like you are supposed to, instead of waiting until it hit an 8, because I wasn’t afraid I’d run out of allowed days before the end of the month. I took my second shot yesterday, cross fingers for me that May brings fewer migraines.
Bipolar Depression. This week I broke down and started a new antidepressant. I tried hard to pull myself out of this funk, this sadness, this feeling of utter worthlessness, but I haven’t been able to. I told myself it was situational, it wasn’t me, and I could get past it if I worked on it. I’ve been working with my therapist and I do have things in my life that can cause depression, but the situations, and my coping with them, are getting better, but the feelings aren’t. It’s time for a little help. I’m having very mixed emotions about this and I’m not sure why. I feel like I’m always going to be a bit off anyway. I’m never going to be normal. I’m always going to be bipolar. When do I stop and just say, this is how I am and it’s how I’m going to be. This is my normal. Live with it. No more medication tweaks. No more added medications. But I want to feel better.