It’s hard to come back

On By WendyIn Chronic Illness

I haven’t meant to stay away for so long, it’s just happened. I’ve simply been feeling a bit reclusive, withdrawn, just wanting to keep myself to myself. I haven’t felt there was anything wrong, maybe I just needed a recharge. Maybe it’s because my husband has been sick twice in the last month. First he had a bad cold that set him back a week then less than 2 weeks later he came down with an awful bug that put him in bed for another week, (in between that I had a cold). It’s hard when the sick need to take care of the sick, but I think I did a pretty good job of it. I even went to three doctor appointments all by myself.

I actually felt like I was accomplishing quite a bit, but something has been off. I didn’t want to talk to people. I didn’t even realize how much time went by where I didn’t talk with people, that was a weird thing. People I normally talk with nearly every day, suddenly I hadn’t talked with in a week or more. Yeah, I’m still not really sure what has been up with that. I missed them, but I felt like I had absolutely nothing to say and felt awkward trying. I’m feeling awkward even trying to make sense of it. I simply felt I needed to be alone.

Now, I don’t know what has been going with anyone, my friends I normally talk to regularly or my blogging family. How could I have just backed away from everyone as if I don’t care. I do, I care a lot. I can only think of one thing that happened that may have sparked this, I made a comment on someones blog that hurt them. I never meant to. I thought it was encouraging, but it was not taken that way, and that broke my heart. I would never do anything to hurt another person, especially one of my blogging friends and family. However, I never meant to stay away, it just happened. I want to come back, but I’m not sure how.

I do have some news to share. Some good news about a new neurologist and some not so good news about us having to move before we planned. All things I want to share soon.

So, do I feel more connected to the world now? Not really.

13 thoughts on “It’s hard to come back”

    1. Oh no, I’m not ending my blog. Things aren’t so bad. We may have to move from the house we’re renting before we are ready to buy, that is going to be a huge hassel, heck I feel like I’m just catching my breath from the last move. Not sure what exactly is happening yet though. Stuart had a really nasty virus, or the flu, which pushed me out of my comfort zone a bit, going to appointments alone, and I survived! LOL
      I’m feeling awfully homesick, which is so silly, we didnt live near or see the people I’m missing very often anyway, but I really miss Spring in the Carolinas.
      And I will write about my visit to the new neurologist….that’s a good one.
      Love and miss you. It’s been so very long

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  3. I’m sorry that your friend was hurt by your comment. We know that was not your intent because that is not who you are or what is in your heart. Unfortunately, we have all said or was told something that was meant to be positive and encouraging but was not received that way. Hoping it works itself out quickly.

    Do the self-care for yourself, especially since you guys were sick. That Kyle though, ammirite? (trying a bit of humour, ha ha?)

    Lots of love and hugs for you. ❤❤❤

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    1. Kyle is the most unwanted houseguest ever!! He shall be out on his ear if he shoes his face around here again!!
      ….yeah, like I’m so strong. He’s sneaky.
      But hopefully he’s gone for good!!
      From your house too.

      Thanks for checking on me, it felt like you had a psychic link, you reached out just at the perfect time.
      You’re awesome

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  5. blindzanygirl

    Wendy, was it me? I think it might have been. I am really really sorrynif it was. I knew that I had not expressed myself to you properly, and realised afterwards that I might have saud what I did not mean to say. Being blindm Inoften type things wringly or badly, and what Intype does not maje the sense I mean it to make. It might not have been me, but it mught have been. Please forguve me if it was me. I would not have hyrt YOU for the wirkd either. You have enough to put up with, without that. Please can you forguve me if it was me. I remember wanting to respond to you but not knowing how to express it. I think I mught have i advertently hurt you very deeply. I care very very much about you Wendy, and I wondered what had happened to you. Please please keep bligging. You are a vutal part of WordPress. I am sending you much live and many gentle hugs.mmif you can accept them that is. Please take care of yoyrself. I am sorry. I do hope I have not expressed thus badly as well. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Oh wow, I think our communication has gotten all messed up, because yes, it was you. I’m so glad you commented. I’ve started to email you a dozen times and didnt know what to say. But I will, I’ll write in the next couple of days.
      Once again I’m commenting when it’s late and I’ve already taken my nightly meds so I will stop now before I get too sleepy. I truly am sorry for hurting you before. You have nothing to apologize for. Much love and gentle hugs 💕💕

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  6. I totally understand Wen! I seem to have ghosted on my own blog lately. Between changes in life and staying busy when I’m “up” and taking time when I’m “down”, I am seriously considering stepping back from blogging.
    Take care of you! You have my contact stuff. I’ll be here (and I know other people will too!)
    LOTS of gentle hugs

    ps: I shared a bit of your Meniere’s to a local group because some one was describing symptoms I have learned about from you!

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    1. Oh my, please share anything you like, if anyone needs support you can send them my way, it’s easy to feel all alone out there with this.

      I miss you when you don’t blog. But yes, I get exactly what you mean. You have to do what’s right for you.
      I’ll be back soon.

      I’m always here for you my friend.
      xoxo

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  7. It does sound like you’ve needed a break from things and I get like that (quite often) with withdrawing and needing to recharge. For me, sometimes it’s because of being too exhausted and I lose enthusiasm or things to say and I need alone time. Other times, I don’t know, I just burrow into my shell.

    I’m sorry your hubby’s had a rough time with being sick lately, too. I don’t really know what to say with ‘coming back’ from the isolation side of things, but of course you still care about others. Those that matter will know that. The comment on the blog that caused an issue sounds like a misunderstanding and I hope they realise it was never made with any ill intention. You have such a kind heart and you’re an incredibly compassionate and thoughtful person… Go easy on yourself, give yourself some time. Hopefully it’ll happen naturally, when you’re ready. Post with the updates on the good news and the not-so-good news when you can, no pressure. Sending lots of gentle hugs your way, Wendy  ♥

    Caz xxxx

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  8. I’m pretty sure that in most cases, it’s better to take the time you need before writing than to post something forced because you feel like you’ve been away too long. That’s a really clunky sentence, but still. Keep breathing and it’s good to hear a little update regardless of how much you’re ready to share. ♥

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