Did we buy a house built on a burial ground? Are we to be cursed forever? I can have positive thoughts and depression in the same day…..yes I am feeling the bipolar bug a biting.
I wanted to write a memorial anniversary post about Sandy on the 18th, but I was losing consciousness at the headache pain neurologist office because I had such a migraine. I couldn’t even wear my hearing technology, I went in deaf, because sounds hurt so much. I had my sunglasses on and a hat to block out as much light as I could. Stuart took care of everything. I passed out twice, once I didn’t know where I was when I came to….and it had only been seconds. I could barely talk, and I can’t even hear my own voice.
It’s those days that make it hard to find the positive. And to top it off……
Stuart got laid off the day before. Out of the blue. Company got some new investors and started restructuring….’nuf said.
I probably have a ton more to say, I have hit some posts here and there….I’m sorry. I still have 400 emails in my inbox. If you have emailed me…I promise I’ll get to it….or resend it please…who knows what is lost in that pile.
My head is hurting so much.
I must get off the computer. I’m not on here every day. I hope after getting back on Botox on the 7th, it will get better…may take a couple of months of treatments.
thank you all of sending healing thoughts my way. I send out health and wellness thoughts to you all each night. I breathe in your pain and out healthy thoughts.
(oh and don’t worry about the Bipolar Bug…I’m seeing both types of exterminations soon…yes I know it can’t be killed, but they can get it more under control. I don’t want to feel like I’m just waiting to die. But days like my trip to the neurologist, I feel like that….or I did. I’m so confused about feelings right now and I know not to trust them. Also hormonal time…so my emotions are being toyed with…as long as I know this, I can handle it.)
(I wanted a cool graphic for this, but just didn’t feel like drawing….in too much pain.)
Thank you to all who have commented here and I haven’t been to your blog, or at least not very often….I care more than I can say.
Picnic with Ants 
Crap! (I should probably be more eloquent, but that’s just what I’m feeling right now.)
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uh, yep. I’m trying to be more positive…you know me, down for a bit but can pull myself out, it’s hard right now, but I’m sure things will get better. I’m trying to find a psychic to make peace with the ghosts.
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Healing thoughts and gentle hugs to you and Stuart. I think of you often, too. Hope the botox helps.
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You know I think of you! Do you still have the plague. I have had the worst coughing spells the last two days. Got to go to my doctor soon. I’m writing this at 9:21am, and haven’t been to sleep all night. I wonder when I’ll drop?
Need to catch up more soon. w
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Well, my doctor fell, broke some bones, so I couldn’t see him. Went to a walk-in clinic and was diagnosed with bronchitis. Was given antibiotics as a precaution so that I wouldn’t develop pneumonia and an inhaler with steroids in it. (Did many happy trips to the bathroom to rinse and gargle so I wouldn’t get thrush.) And, as a parting gift from the clinic, some kind of virus is still going around so a couple of days after the clinic I got a really sore throat, inflamed tonsils, low energy…
So, different month, same type of crap. But, it looks like spring, feels like spring, the balcony door is open to let in some fresh air and fingers are crossed that this is the end of the viruses and all that nonsense.
Hope you are getting some sleep and some sweet dreams.
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It was good to read, even though you feel so horrible. Sure wish I could help. As you restart your botox I’m certain things will improve. At the moment it most likely seems so far off!
I’m sorry to hear about Stuart being laid-off and just getting past the anniversary of Sandy’s death. Do know I’ve thought of you and am sending you hugs!
Take care and stay safe.
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Edie, I was just talking about you last night. I think you do such good work…did you know I nominated you for a WEGO Health Activist award? I get to read some of your post in my email….I want to get to your blog but it’s difficult to stay on the computer lately.
I’ve also been having other symptoms form the Intercranial Hypertention…not just vision and dizzy. I keep smelling things that aren’t there, usually coffee, or something cooking…and the worst, cigarette smoke! No one smokes in our house. I even went outside and walked the yard but it wasn’t there. So strange.
I think of you very often! Please don’t forget that, and keep up the wonderful work that you do. I actually want to do some good info post like yours…and will send people to your post for more info. Stay Safe. I’m trying, but I do fall a bit….usually I can realize I’m falling and ease my way down, plus I have a supper walker now, so I’m much more steady.
w
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Whether you write or not doesn’t matter, we will think of you and send positive thoughts your way. I think everyone is going through a difficult time right now in one way or another. At least a lot of people. Hopefully we can turn that energy around into positive and healing thoughts. I’m sorry about Stuart’s job, same thing is happening with my husband too.Feeling out of control? Hard not to be feeling that way. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love, Laurie hibernationnow.wordpress.com
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Wow, your husband too? I’m so sorry. and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to read many of your post. The computer just hasn’t been a friend to my head, and my wonkiness. I’m hoping the steroids they have me on will make it easier for me until I get to the botox. Yes feeling way out of control and I was feeling that way before Stuart got laid off. I feel like such a bad partner in this relationship…I can’t step up and help so he doesn’t have to put it all on him. Right now, searching for a job is his job..and he’s taking it seriously.
Thinking of you and your hubby. may we see the sun soon. w
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Hi Wendy, so sorry for this terrible time that you are living through. I hate this disease and it hates me. Its bad enough to have to deal with it but now you have so much more piled on your plate. I wish there was something tangible that I could do. My husband went through years, yes years, of no job so I know that feeling very well! Know that I am praying for you and Stuart!
Deb
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It’s now May 6th, and I just read your April 21 post!
Hope that you’re feeling better; also hope Stuart’s job searching is going well.
Wishing you all the best and sending good thoughts and very gentle (((((hugs)))))
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