If I could feel the way I have since New Year’s Eve Eve, December 23rd, minus the migraines, I would be very happy!
Every day for the past….I don’t know how many…days I’ve woken up with a migraine. Most days I can take something, and it ebbs enough that I can do something, often I have to take something numerous times a day, but at least it has been tolerable after taking the medication. Unfortunately, one of my medications, I can only get 18 a month, so if I have to take 2 a day to help with the headaches they won’t last very long. My doctor said we need to wait 3 months after surgery to start trying new treatments for the migraines. We need to see what this will do first. One month down! Just two more to go! (this is the first day since the 30th, that I have spent the day in bed. My head hasn’t eased up much today, for a little bit here and there…like now..but most of the day I’ve spent in darkness with a warm hat on my head (I found this helps, I don’t know why), trying to sleep as much as possible.)
New Year’s Eve is usually very hard for me. As I’ve mentioned before my mother’s birthday was New Year’s Day, and it hits me hard. I still miss her terribly. This year, Stuart asked a couple if they’d like to join us, hoping it would help me get through the rough time, and make things happier. But I woke up with a migraine from Hell. I couldn’t stand any light, I was nauseous, and I just wanted to scream! So we felt we should cancel early, just in case the pain didn’t subside, giving our friends time to make other plans. Luckily, after much medication, I felt better. My headache wasn’t gone, but it never is, however, it was much better.
I decided to try to work in my studio a bit. Something I haven’t done in months. yay, for milestones! I got part of my mask painted, thank you Judy, I’m thinking about both my inner face and outer face while working on it. (if you’d like to know more about this please visit Judy’s blog, Creativity to the Max.)
We decided to have a special dinner that night, one we didn’t have to cook. So when Stuart went to pick our dinner up, I decided to make it very special. I set the table all pretty, and put candles on it. I even got pretty myself. I put on a skirt and nice top, and even makeup! Stuart was VERY surprised! And I have to say, I think that was the best steak I’ve ever had! We haven’t done anything like this in a long time. It was very romantic.
It was still 6 hours until midnight, so we thought we’d start a puzzle. We worked on it for about an hour, then I started to get too sore, and my headache was getting worse. So we headed upstairs, I took some more meds, and we watched a movie. By midnight I was feeling good again, and a bit frisky. (hehehe) We were watching and waiting for the ball to drop, and I started coming on to my husband….one thing led to another, and we rang in the new year with the Big “O”! Yes, it hurt, but it was so worth it! We did elevate my hips a bit, and it helped with the hip pain! Yay. (Milestone number 2!) Now, that helped me emotionally too!
On New Year’s Day it was 65F degrees here. I knew that temperatures like this would not last long, so I had to get out of the house. We needed something from the grocery store, so off we went to Whole Foods. I thought we could get the gluten free bread I like there, but nope. Every time I go to Whole Foods I’m disappointed. We started to go to the store we know has it, but it’s more than a 30 minute drive, and I was hungry and getting tired. We stopped to eat to see if I’d then feel like going, the food was good, but I didn’t feel well afterward. I don’t know what I’ve been getting into lately, but I’ve been having GI symptoms a lot!
We were both tired, and I wasn’t feeling great, so our New Year’s meal would have to wait. I can’t have Hoppin’ Johns any more any way…(very sad face). I can’t have legumes, and black eyed peas are one of the main ingredients…I really miss beans!
Here come another milestone, I cooked on January 2nd! Stuart helped a little, but I did the main cooking! So excited, I really like to cook, and haven’t been able to in months! I made collard greens (a must in the Southern parts of the US, collard greens represent money, so if you want more money throughout the year, you eat collards, another part of Hoppin’ Johns). But I cooked them a bit differently. I sauteed them with bacon, Mirin Sauce (a sweet rice wine used in Asian cooking), a little Rice Vinegar, and sprinkled with celery seeds. They were very tasty. We planned to have ham, but couldn’t find one that wasn’t way too big, so we cooked up a hot dog for each of us, and I had some left over mashed potatoes. It was actually a pretty darn tasty meal! (before everyone with Meniere’s freaks out about how much salt I ate,the bacon was low salt, and so were the hotdogs, plus I only ate one. However, I’m not sure a low salt diet has helped with my Meniere’s symptoms at all.)
One more good thing happened, but it isn’t finalized yet, so I’m afraid to mention it and jinx it. (It has to do with Stuart…you can probably guess.)
I started to make up a list of things I want to accomplish in 2012, but didn’t get far. I realize I can’t really plan much and just get upset when I can’t accomplish what I plan to. I really, want to lose some of this weight, and be able to exercise some. This I will figure out how to do! Even if I get to be just as sick as I was for the past 6 months, I’m going to figure out how to exercise.
As you see at the top, Stuart took pictures of me on New Year’s Eve, when I saw them I cried. I thought, that can’t be me! This woman is so overweight, and old. I don’t want to feel that way about me. I have to find a way to get my body image self esteem back. The picture I published at the top was the best. There is another that I feel shows every hard thing I’ve been through over the past couple of years. Following you will see a photo of me that was taken just before all of this started happening, and the photo that was taken on New Year’s Eve that I feel, shows the pain I’ve endured. I’m only showing these to show how much I’ve changed in a relatively short period of time.
**I’d like to say, the weight bothers me mostly because of the added health issues. I now have non-alcoholic fatty liver, and very high triglycerides. I will not be able to get control of these until some of the weight comes off and I can exercise. Yes, my body image has taken a bit of a hit, but my husband thinks I’m beautiful, and desirable so that’s a confidence booster. However, the fact that I get out of breath so easily, and have a hard time getting up at times. (the tub is a big challenge.) With my hip issues, added weight is not a good idea.
Picnic with Ants 
Im sooo happy you had a nice new years ! Nothing worse than migraines getting in the way of progress is there, i hate it. Mine have really settled down now since the botox kicked in, i wonder if that would work for you? It makes them so much shorter and a LOT less often in frequency.
Its so hard looking at older pictures isnt it, but either way, when i look at this years photo, you look happy, beautiful and like you are enjoying yourself which is the best thing 😀 xx
LikeLike
Fizzy, I have been happier lately. Feeling better. And I see that in the photo too, but I also see how this disease has worn me down. My eyes look older, tired…and the weight gain is just depressing. Mostly because I know it will cause even more health issues. (I probably should have said that in my post.) My triglycerides are out of the roof, I have fatty liver syndrome….the weight has to come off.
Unfortunately, Botox for migraines has not been approved in the States. It was up for approval recently and didn’t pass. I do wish I could find something, but I have to wait for a while any way….crossing fingers they’ll find out what’s going on and fix it.
Thank you for the sweet words, and words of encouragement. w
LikeLike
My first thought was that you look so pretty and happy!! I know what you mean, though. Since I have become housebound I’ve had seven years of getting fat because I’m just a short round couch potato. I look so different than I did. But I am soooo much happier today, so tough cookies. If I don’t judge other people by what they look like why should I judge myself that way? You look beautiful to me! 🙂 I should look so good!
Sounds like, considering, you had a very sweet New Year’s! May this be a wonderful year, sweetie!! 🙂
LikeLike
I really should have clarified more about my weight concerns. It’s not just how I look, it’s my health. I have fatty liver syndrome (non-alcoholic), and very high triglycerides. So I’m concerned about the added fat because of these issues…not just my self image…yes it has taken a bit of a hit. (and living with a father who bashed me about my weight my whole life has’t help that body image, however, Stuart thinks I’m beautiful…so that’s a confidence booster) But I’m very concerned about the added health issues.
I was very happy that day. And I’m glad it shows.
This year is off to a good start! may it continue to go as smoothly.
LikeLike
Okay, I see. You have a lot more at stake.
I never had blood pressure worries and the added weight is probably harder on my osteoarthritis in my hips and knees and back, so I can relate a little bit.
Well, you looked happy and beautiful!! :):)
LikeLike
Rita, Thank you. I was…and am a lot of the time. I should have clarified in the post that I am more worried about the health issues than how I look. But it does make me feel good that others think I looked good, and happy. (I do have a bit of a self image problem. I do look in the mirror and think…who is that? But I will deal with that, I have a lot of help.)
thank you for the update comment. you are a dear. w
LikeLike
Ok, Here’s Mama Judy speaking.
LOOSE SOME weight!
Ok Now that I’ve got that off my chest. I need to lose weight for health reasons too. So maybe we could figure out something to support each other? I have lots of excuses but I’m tired of using them to justify what and how much I put in my mouth.
HERE’S to a 2012 filled with love, both romantic, heartfelt and carnal!
LikeLike
OK, Mama Judy,
I’ve finally found a nutritionist that knows something about Fructose Intolerance! I can’t get in to see her for a few weeks, but I’m making a move to get the weight off.
All my doctor’s agreed that getting the Meniere’s under control enough so I can exercise was our first priority. Being in bed for 6 months, had not been conducive to losing weight, or getting in shape.
Also looking at the local parks and recreation center to see what they offer…or we’re going to get me an exercise machine for home. (I have to be careful about not moving my head too much when I exercise.) I used a recumbent elliptical with arm resistance, at PT, and it was great….hardly any head movement, and total body workout. Plus, I’m still working on my core, I can feel the muscles in there…it just had fat all around it. Ugh!
So…that’s my plan! What’s yours?
(Oh, I’ve been tracking my food intake, calories..ect..and having been taking in about 1200 – 1500 calories a day…if I was exercising, that should do it…instead it’s just maintaining…and without being able to eat many veggies, it’s hard to reduce that…sigh…hopefully the nutritionist can help.)
I’ll be happy to be supportive, and would love some too!
here’s to a healthier, loving, and supportive year! w
LikeLike
Hi Wendy,
Firstly, I think you looked so happy on News Years Eve and so well but I understand that for your health you want to lose the extra weight. I get that!
So having said that, when I get back to school I will do some research to find out what you can do to exercise that would maximize your calorie burning ability while minimizing stability issues. My gut reaction is a recumbent exercise bike. That way if you start to get dizzy, then at least you are sitting down. But again, this would take cash to buy one…ebay? Kijiiji??( I saw one here in Charlotte for $130)
The more muscle you can build the more calories you will burn as well as your body has to actually work harder to maintain muscle. It would be great if you could do some of the core body exercises from the core body pyramid: http://faithhopefightingspirit.wordpress.com/2011/01/15/total-core-pyramid/, but I know that I can get dizzy doing this one as you have to change positions so often. My BPPV goes crazy, but the workout is a really good one.
To invest in a 5kg medicine ball would be a good start too. I’m not sure what your shoulder could handle though. There are so many exercises you can do with the medicine ball, while sitting, that will strengthen your core and upper body but you can be in a safe position and because they are low I think it may be easier on your hip to get on.
There are also isometric exercises that you can do where there is no movement at all, just resistance. This builds muscle as well.
It goes without saying to remind you to drink LOTS of water! Your body is more efficient when properly hydrated…..and it fills me up so I don’t eat as many cookies! 🙂
Hope this helps a little. The hardest part is feeling well enough to start….but please remember that doing even a little something, is a start. Set really low, easy, attainable goals, when you are feeling well, so that you won’t get discouraged. Don’t be upset when you are too sick to exercise at all. We all know what its like to have the big activity of the day be going to the bathroom!
I lost 1 lb a week by cutting cheese, cookies and white sugar and white flour and white rice (I know you wouldn’t have any of that stuff anyway!) out of my diet and doing that pyramid 3-4 times a week. I will pray that you feel well enough to start getting outside for a walk everyday too! The fresh air alone will be motivating.
I hope I haven’t said too much…I talk too much sorry!
LikeLike
Fingers crossed that the news re Stuart is great, and we’ll know soon!
I understand totally about image, emotion, and all that. I’ve been taking photos of myself for the last year, and the darned baby bump that developed in March just won’t go away. (I have a yet unposted blog about it). I have neck issues that make exercise of just about any kind impossible (or very painful — at the time or later), so I walk. Our house is so small, it was difficult to find some sort of fitness machine that a) we could afford, b) I could use without hurting my neck, and c) would fit. We went to a sporting goods emporium, braved the fitness section and came home with a simple device — it’s a baby, pared down, non-electrical version of a stair/step climber in that you step up and down, with the level of resistence (thus difficulty) determined by you. It came with resistence bands to help work on the arms, too. But with my balance issues (worse of late), I need to hang on to something while I step so I don’t fall off or over. It keeps track of the number of steps you do each session as well as overall, and lets you know how many calories you have burned. And, it was on sale. It hasn’t had as much of a workout as it should, but I’ve also tried to get out of the house and walk by going grocery shopping, etc.
Good luck with all your appointments, etc. Hope they go well, and that you can at least get those headaches/migraines under control.
And, by the way, all the best in 2012
LikeLike