What makes the world go round, and round, and round…I don’t really care I just want it to stop! Please…oh please! (I’m asking very nicely…please.)
Since Wednesday I’ve had almost constant vertigo. On Wednesday, I had two vertigo attacks. On Thursday morning, I woke up about 6:30am spinning. I was dreaming, and in my dream things started to spin, I woke up and it was still spinning, not a good way to start the day! On Friday, I had a very severe headache with vertigo for most of the day. Today, I woke up around 8:30am, again, spinning.
This has been a turbulent week. Luckily, most of these attacks weren’t the gut retching kind. Most of the time, I’ve just had to keep my head very still, and things were bearable, but if I move, even fractionally, the world spins. Today, it has lasted all day. For the first 5 hours of the day, the only relief I had was when I laid on my side, with my head very still. If I moved slightly the world spun out of control. While lying down it was just a bit wobbly. Unfortunately, I also had some GI issues today, and those 10 feet from my bed to the toilet were a harrowing experience. Finally, things have calmed down a bit, but still if I move my head, the world spins.
I see Dr. Kaylie, my Otolaryngologist and Vestibular Specialist, on Tuesday. We have to discuss different treatments, including having the endolymphatic enhancement surgery on my left ear, or streptomycin injections (to kill the balance nerve) I can’t stay like this. My husband is looking for a new job, he can’t be afraid to leave me alone. I can’t be terrified to be left alone. However, it will be hard to undergo an expensive treatment right now. umm..hubby unemployed, COBRA for insurance. Not only are the COBRA premiums outrageous, but we still have to pay 30% of any procedure. I hate that healthcare is so unfair. When we get our bills from the hospital or doctor, it has the cost, then the deduction because we have Blue Cross, then the amount the insurance covers, then what we pay. (often just the co-pay, unless it’s something special, like surgery.) If we were charged the deductible amount, like Blue Cross is, we could pay for it without insurance, the premiums from COBRA are so high, it would cost less if we could pay that way. Our healthcare system sucks!
A little story about why Stuart and I got married when we did…. Stuart and I were engaged, but we hadn’t set a date. His mother had breast cancer, she had been in remission, but unfortunately, it returned. We didn’t want the stress of our wedding making things harder for her. We wanted to wait until she felt well enough to enjoy it. Unfortunately, the cancer spread, and she died before feeling better. (yes, if we had known this was a possibility, we would have gotten married sooner, so she could be there….hind sight.) The week she died, I found out I’d be losing my health insurance in 3 months. So we planned a wedding, fast. We got married on Stuart’s parent’s anniversary. In a way it was nice that we had something so joyful to plan and think about right after Stuart’s mother’s passing, but in an ideal world, we would have put more time between the two events.
Yes, you could technically say, that Stuart and I got married so that I could have health insurance. That’s just not right. We should not have been forced to choose our wedding date based on health insurance. (It is a big joke in the family though that we are the only people they know who can plan a wedding in less than 3 months for less than $2000! And it was a nice wedding too. Small, but very beautiful, and very, very special.) Perhaps I’ll tell that whole story at some point. My point right now is that NO ONE should have to do without health care because they don’t have health insurance. I wonder how many people get married so their spouse can have insurance? Or how many people stay in a job they hate so they or their family will have health insurance? The priorities of our government is just so skewed.
*Jumping off of my soapbox now*
I have a big request for any of you who have to go through these attacks alone: Please give me any tips you have on how you do it? I’ve done it in the past, but I used to have clues that an attack was coming, so I could get prepared. Wet cloth, empty buckets (or at least to the toilet)…. Now it happens very suddenly, no warning! Bam, I’m spinning. Today I had the hardest time just reaching in my night stand to get my medicine. So, any advice? How do you do this alone?