What makes the world go round, and round, and round…I don’t really care I just want it to stop! Please…oh please! (I’m asking very nicely…please.)
Since Wednesday I’ve had almost constant vertigo. On Wednesday, I had two vertigo attacks. On Thursday morning, I woke up about 6:30am spinning. I was dreaming, and in my dream things started to spin, I woke up and it was still spinning, not a good way to start the day! On Friday, I had a very severe headache with vertigo for most of the day. Today, I woke up around 8:30am, again, spinning.
This has been a turbulent week. Luckily, most of these attacks weren’t the gut retching kind. Most of the time, I’ve just had to keep my head very still, and things were bearable, but if I move, even fractionally, the world spins. Today, it has lasted all day. For the first 5 hours of the day, the only relief I had was when I laid on my side, with my head very still. If I moved slightly the world spun out of control. While lying down it was just a bit wobbly. Unfortunately, I also had some GI issues today, and those 10 feet from my bed to the toilet were a harrowing experience. Finally, things have calmed down a bit, but still if I move my head, the world spins.
I see Dr. Kaylie, my Otolaryngologist and Vestibular Specialist, on Tuesday. We have to discuss different treatments, including having the endolymphatic enhancement surgery on my left ear, or streptomycin injections (to kill the balance nerve) I can’t stay like this. My husband is looking for a new job, he can’t be afraid to leave me alone. I can’t be terrified to be left alone. However, it will be hard to undergo an expensive treatment right now. umm..hubby unemployed, COBRA for insurance. Not only are the COBRA premiums outrageous, but we still have to pay 30% of any procedure. I hate that healthcare is so unfair. When we get our bills from the hospital or doctor, it has the cost, then the deduction because we have Blue Cross, then the amount the insurance covers, then what we pay. (often just the co-pay, unless it’s something special, like surgery.) If we were charged the deductible amount, like Blue Cross is, we could pay for it without insurance, the premiums from COBRA are so high, it would cost less if we could pay that way. Our healthcare system sucks!
A little story about why Stuart and I got married when we did…. Stuart and I were engaged, but we hadn’t set a date. His mother had breast cancer, she had been in remission, but unfortunately, it returned. We didn’t want the stress of our wedding making things harder for her. We wanted to wait until she felt well enough to enjoy it. Unfortunately, the cancer spread, and she died before feeling better. (yes, if we had known this was a possibility, we would have gotten married sooner, so she could be there….hind sight.) The week she died, I found out I’d be losing my health insurance in 3 months. So we planned a wedding, fast. We got married on Stuart’s parent’s anniversary. In a way it was nice that we had something so joyful to plan and think about right after Stuart’s mother’s passing, but in an ideal world, we would have put more time between the two events.
Yes, you could technically say, that Stuart and I got married so that I could have health insurance. That’s just not right. We should not have been forced to choose our wedding date based on health insurance. (It is a big joke in the family though that we are the only people they know who can plan a wedding in less than 3 months for less than $2000! And it was a nice wedding too. Small, but very beautiful, and very, very special.) Perhaps I’ll tell that whole story at some point. My point right now is that NO ONE should have to do without health care because they don’t have health insurance. I wonder how many people get married so their spouse can have insurance? Or how many people stay in a job they hate so they or their family will have health insurance? The priorities of our government is just so skewed.
*Jumping off of my soapbox now*
I have a big request for any of you who have to go through these attacks alone: Please give me any tips you have on how you do it? I’ve done it in the past, but I used to have clues that an attack was coming, so I could get prepared. Wet cloth, empty buckets (or at least to the toilet)…. Now it happens very suddenly, no warning! Bam, I’m spinning. Today I had the hardest time just reaching in my night stand to get my medicine. So, any advice? How do you do this alone?
Picnic with Ants 
Oh Wendy,
There are times that I am really thankful to be a Canadian. We are so fortunate here. Universally everyone is covered for health care. You have to pay extra for your medications but I am lucky enough that as a teacher I have coverage for prescription medications as well as many other extended health benefits. Really, I am so spoiled. We pay high taxes here, but isn’t it worth it to have everyone have equal access to health care? I thought that when Obama was elected that Americans too, would have a universal health care system. I guess I was wrong. That is so unfortunate. My heart breaks for you knowing that you need health care, but are stressed about paying for it (which undoubtedly makes you need health care more!)
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Deb, So, any computer programming jobs out there? : )
It would be nice if Obama could have changed health care. But…one person can’t change things in this country..I don’t care how much they promise things during their campaign. And the US is too proud to look at the rest of the world and see what’s working. Bah!
you are very right…the more I stress over the cost of health care, the more I probably need it.
Yes, I’m in the 99%. oh…soap box again.
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Wendy, If you go to the emergency room, what do they do for you? I really don’t know how you handle it.
mo
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Mo, I’ve been to the ER a couple of times for this. Once I didn’t know what was going on…mostly they get fluids in me, give me the same meds I have at home…. after the last trip, I said I wouldn’t go back unless it was something major going on….However, the last trip I went because I started hallucinating…that was pretty major. But they gave me all this anti throw-up meds, the doc came in and said he couldn’t understand how I could still be throwing up after the amount of drugs they’d given me…or how I could be awake…so I threw up! They upset me because they didn’t want to give me valium…which I have a prescription for…and it helps stop the vertigo. I guess they thought I was a drug seeker…throwing up on their shoes.
me and the ER…not friends….at least not about this.
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So sorry to hear that you’ve been suffering. With these kind of attacks you can’t really do anything but endure them. My heart goes out to you! It must be really scary to be alone when you are used to somebody being there with you.
I agree! Healthcare in this country can rule and ruin lives. Because of health issues I had to file for bankruptcy and lost my car. I thought things were going to change but there’s too much corporate money involved in health care and pharmaceuticals. Same with our food “industry”, for that matter. Off my soap box, too.
I hope you are feeling much, much better by the time you read this. *hugs*
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Rita, I don’t know where I’d be without Stuart. He literally saved me. I was on the verge of bankruptcy, couldn’t get insured…lost my job and lost my insurance…private insurance for me with pre existing conditions…and this was before they knew about Meniere’s…just because I’m bipolar…didn’t matter how long I’d been stable…12 years ago it would have been over $2000 a month for just me. I barely made that much when I was working full time.
Stuart says I saved him, and made him want to be a better person. I’m glad he feels that way, because I know he saved me!
I’m so sorry you lost so much.
Change…yeah that was the motto of the election huh? But one person can’t change things in this country, not matter what their position. Insurance companies are not going to allow things to change…not like they should.
(I’m a downer today huh?)
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Oh, boy, is there enough room up there for me on the soap box, too? I work in healthcare and see the choices people have to make every day. Since I work in the home infusion side of things, part of my job is determining whether or not someone’s condition qualifies them for home infusion therapy. It is not unusual for us to tell a patient that they are better off going to a nursing home, instead of home, if they can’t afford to pay the out-of-pocket expense to continue their IV therapy. Many policies, including Medicare, will only cover certain IV therapies in a nursing home, but not at home. Now does that make sense?! It’s true.
As for dealing with your attacks on your own, would you consider pre-medicating on the days you will be home alone “just in case”? It’s terrible, but if you cannot rely on yourself to be able to get to your meds on your own it seems like one option. I also read once about a woman who lives alone that part of her emergency vertigo kits she keeps around her house includes Depends. Humiliating, but practical.
Sucks.
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Angelea, actually, considering what’s been happening with me lately, Depends is probably a good idea. I have started keeping a pad (a washable pad that is made for incontenance..ect.) under me. We actually have many of these, we use them for pee pee pads for our dog, and just wash them, much more environmentally practical than those throw away kind.
I would consider pre medicating…but twice this week I woke up spinning…I couldn’t move without it getting much much worse. Waking up in an attack is horrible…I’ve been afraid to go to sleep at night.
But I’m trying. Even though Stuart is here, I’m trying to do more on my own during these times to show him…and me…that I will be alright. I know I can do it, I just want to make it easier.
(and I’m having a depression day…I’m sick of all this, and just want it to go away!)
I’ve been looking into the Strep injections. Going to talk to doc about it on Tuesday. Can’t find anywhere what the recovery is like. How you deal with all of a sudden having no vestibular balance? Is there therapy to help? I keep finding where people know someone who has…and…I guess I’ll see what Dr. Kaylie says. Thank you for telling me about it.
You job must be very hard. When my mother was dying of lung cancer the insurance company said she didn’t need oxygen, you should have heard her doctor on the phone…yelling at them, how dare they say what her patient needs! They’ve never met her….ect… I think they gave in just to shut her up. : )
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