Todays post is Sponsored by the letter D.
I always have a difficult time picking just one word to focus on when doing these post.
So I’ve decided to not focus on just one word. I like lots of words and I liked the post about B where we used a lot of different words. Today, we’ll do that again.
The first natural word to think of is:
Disabled – Yes, we are disabled. But what does that word really mean to you? Does it mean you can’t work? that you are crippled? can’t do what you used to? are a different person? (for me I had to admit I wasn’t as independent as I used to be – I was not able to do for myself everything that I needed.)
Dependent – We are more dependent on others and on things to help us do our necessities. We are also more dependent on our wits, to figure out how to do more things a little differently so we can be a little more independent. : )
Dare – We are daring individuals. We have to do daring feats just to live day-to-day. With my disease (and I know many of you have Meniere’s too) we dare to just walk around some days. We could have a drop attack at any moment…but we dare to live the life that was given us, and not worry about what may happen (most of the time, we try hard). We dare to survive.
Denial – Sometimes the first part of having a disability is denial. This can often make it much harder on the person who has the illness. Especially, if it is progressive, if the person is in denial it can end up in disaster. For me, I go back and forth with denial. I want to believe I can do anything if I set my mind to it, I will get on my high horse and start to do this and that…and then I pay for it. And unfortunately I usually hurt my husband at the same time, because he just wants to help and I push him away. Denial can come in cycles. I have to work on acceptance.
Different – So many people I know with a disability are afraid of being different. That has never been a problem with me. I think I’ve always been a little different, so this is just fine with me. So I’m different. People can accept that or not. I think it’s harder for people to understand your disability if you try to act normal and you aren’t, then they think something is wrong and they just don’t know what. I’d rather be up front. “I’m hearing impaired.”, “I have bouts of vertigo.” People may not understand, but they know something is wrong, and I’m not just rude and ignoring what they say, or drunk.
Daffy – Well you knew I had to put a funny in here, and no I don’t mean the duck. You know we all feel a little Daffy some times. We feel like we are going crazy. We have all these weird symptoms. We have doctors trying all sorts of things on us. We think one thing is working…then it isn’t. We don’t know who to believe. And with Meniere’s feeling a little daffy (or crazy) sometimes is actually a symptom! Don’t worry, you aren’t crazy. (Well, you may be, but I’m not the one to diagnose that.) Just know that it is normal to feel that way sometimes.
Demon – Ever feel like you are possessed? Like this isn’t your body any more? Please, don’t tell me that I’m the only one that feels like my body has been taken over by some demon and it is attacking itself. OK…maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that one.
Dreams – With vestibular disorders it is not unusual for people to have very vivid dreams that wake them up many times during the night. Do you have more dreams now than before? Do you wake up more often? Do you sometimes feel like your whole life is just a dream now and you really wish you would wake up?
Do – We are a bunch of people who do stuff. We still do for other people, we research our illness to find out as much as we can to help ourselves and others. You may feel like you aren’t doing much, if you actually look at what you do, I think you will be surprised at how much you get done. And how much you do for others! We do a lot, but remember, trying counts. So Just try to Do It!
Don’t – Don’t despair. Don’t feel alone. A disability is not a death sentence. Disabled people can be strong people who are DETERMINED to live a full and rich life, with our disability, not despite of it.
Picnic with Ants 
I know what you mean about demons. I went through that myself with my stuttering. It’s very easy to believe, growing up, that there’s something inside me preventing me from talking, robbing me of my ability to speak. I used to imagine it as a beast in a cage rattling bars and laughing at me. Even now I still feel like this body isn’t mine. But I never really felt like it was. I’ve always wanted to just tear it off of me like an ill-fitting suit.
Also, you do amazing, wonderful things for your friends!
LikeLike
Hi!
It´s quite funny to read your blog today. I just finished reading “My life and M:s disease”-blog and made a comment where I wrote: “Sometimes I feel that someone, Mr Menière perhaps, has taken over my head and is using it for his own purposes. I want my head back!!!” And right after that I read your words about being possessed by a Demon – so YES I agree with you that someone is taking over.
Another word I´ve been thinking about is the word Disabled. When I studied to be a special needs-teacher we discussed about the differences between Having a disability or Being disabled. I believe there´s a great difference in being/having and I refer to myself as Susanna and I Have a disability. First of all I am a person, a human being, with my thoughts and believes and besides I have a hearing/balance-issue. It´s so easy that you become the label people put on you; “the dizzy-one”, “the blind-one”, “the-adhd-one”…
And Duffy (another new word for me – thanks for the expanation) Yes I feel quite duffy now and then. But if you ask my husband he will tell you I´ve always been a little crazy 🙂
About dreams, I didn´t know that vestibular disorders can have influence on dreaming. I dream a lot every night and sometimes wake up very tired in the morning because of my dreaming. Now I have an explanation.
Susanna
LikeLike
hahaha – I’ll have to check out My Life and Meniere’s today and see the post. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels possessed some times. : )
I thought the word Daffy might get you. It’s like Daffy Duck. I think it’s actually an English (as in England) expression originally, but I wanted a funny. It can also mean silly or foolish. And yes, my husband, and I think everyone else I know would say I was a bit daffy before all of this hit too!
Yes, I just recently learned how vestibular disorders can cause you to have vivid dreams. I thought it was kind of cool…and explained a lot. So I’m glad you found it interesting too. I was also reading that the swelling in this system can cause pressure on certain nerves that trigger depression. So we aren’t just getting so very depressed because of what’s going on, it is physically causing us to get depressed too. I want to find out more about this, then I’ll post about it, I’ve only read one article so far…but interesting huh?
I love your explanation of being disabled and having a disability. I looked up the word disabled, and I didn’t like the definition at all! What you said fits much better!
Thanks for making me smile today. w
LikeLike
Oh honey, I have night sweats too. Yay, the joys of menopause coming on! w
LikeLike
Great post!
I’m with everyone about the word demon. I would think “I want my old life back. NOW!” And the demon would just leave, the darkness would leave and life would be beautiful again. And, perhaps, denial works hand-in-hand with demon. We lose so much that there has to be some demon at work, testing us.
Even though we have lost so much, we have gained in other areas. I think that when we start accepting that we have a disability, we start seeing things more clearly, we value the important things, we weed out the negatives and find the positives. We go into survival mode.
I don’t, however, think my dreaming has changed that much. I’ll have to pay attention when I wake up. But, then again, if I wake up in the middle of the night it’s usually because a noise has woken me up or it’s the joys of hurtling to menopause. HOT FLASH!!! lol!
Have a good day!
LikeLike